Winter Song
by Jessypt
Summary: Sometimes a Christmas miracle is nothing more than a second chance.  A story told through Fictionista Workshop's Daily Witfits.
1. Chapter 1: Flurries

This is just a little something that popped in my head and won't get out. I'll be updating with the daily witfit prompts as they speak to me.

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. Thanks to jennde for the help!

**Prompt: Flurries**

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><p>The light poured in through the window across the room and was bright, even behind my closed eyelids. I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes, trying to block it all out, and groaned. It had been a long night, and the prospect of dragging myself out of bed and into work was not appealing. At all.<p>

I pushed myself up on my elbows and blearily cracked open my eyes. The light was blinding, due in large part to what looked like a flurry of snow blowing wildly in the wind.

_Great._

I glanced over to the woman beside me in bed. She was naked, as usual, but the sight of her bare back and her long red hair spilled all around her did absolutely nothing for me. I wasn't surprised. After the argument we'd had last night and the weeks – no, months – of tension between us, it felt good to realize I felt nothing. Not remorse. Not sadness. Nothing.

I decided not to dwell. Instead, I dragged myself out of bed and into a very hot shower. By the time I got out, Victoria was out of bed, and from the sound of it, downstairs in the kitchen. The thought of confronting her, ending it, was not appealing, but it was time. It had been for a while.

After I was dressed, with jacket in hand, I trudged down the stairs. I had no idea what I'd find when I got down there, but the sight of Vic in one of my button down shirts, long lean legs fully exposed, and a thick pair of fuzzy, striped socks wasn't it.

She glanced over her shoulder, her hands still fiddling with the coffee maker. "Morning, babe."

I ignored her and walked into the kitchen. I quickly grabbed my standard protein and fiber bar and my favorite mug. I wasn't in the mood to wait, and Starbucks would be more than fine.

"Morning," she said again, looking at me pointedly.

"Are we really going to pretend like nothing happened last night, Vic?" I asked, feeling increasingly annoyed.

"Oh, come on, Ed. I said I was sorry. I meant it. Let's move on."

I clenched my jaw, knowing she was testing my resolve. The complete lack of sincerity in her voice and the cool glint in her eyes further solidified my decision. I wasn't going to allow her to flippantly brush it all under the rug, to pretend nothing had happened to get us to this point.

I straightened my shoulders, my steely gaze never wavering. "Yeah, you did. Just like you always do, but it's not enough this time. I'm done."

Her jaw dropped, and the flinch and subsequent scrunch of her eyebrows told me I'd thrown her a curveball.

"Done with what?"

"This. Us," I said, moving my hand between the two of us. "I'm done with the fights, the apologies that barely feel like they faze you, and the constant uncertainty I feel around you. I'm tired of working on something that isn't going anywhere." The more I talked, the better I felt. Free. As if the weight of two years worth of drudgery, fine tuning, and constant vigilance was finally being lifted.

"You can't be serious," she said emphatically. "We are _not_ done. You don't mean that." Her voice was biting then soft, full of conviction and confusion, but I could tell the reality of what I was saying was sinking in.

"I am. I'm done, Vic. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to." I paused, and as if I needed to make my point even clearer, I looked her straight in the eye and said, "I'm moving out."

Her silence and my mine was like the death knell sounding. Clear. Loud. Final.

Her mouth opened and closed, her eyes welled with tears, and her shoulders slumped. I felt like a dick for being so harsh. I knew it hadn't all been bad between us, but I couldn't change the way I felt – had been feeling for months – and I knew if she really examined what we had, she'd feel the same way, too.

I waited a second to see if she'd say anything else as she roughly swiped away the tears that had fallen, but she didn't. Her clear, blue eyes finally met mine, and the cool, vacant glare she was giving me made me feel… nothing.

If I had any doubts before – which I didn't - I knew for sure I'd made the right decision. Without a backward glance, I walked out the door.

As I drove to work, my thoughts whirled like the snow outside - with the possibilities and what-ifs of where my life would go from there. Feeling like I could breathe for the first time in a long time, I turned on the radio and drummed my thumbs to some upbeat, poppy, Christmas song about mistletoe, playing in the snow, and some girl named Shawty.

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><p>Song reference is to Justin Bieber's, Mistletoe. Yes, I actually own it. What's your favorite Christmas song?<p>

As an aside, I've got entries in both the Season of Our Discontent Angst (anon) and Beyond the Pale2 Contests. If you haven't already, take a second and read the entries and vote for your faves. There are lots of great stories in both!

http : / www . fanfiction . net/~seasonofourdiscontent (Dec 10)

http : / www . fanfiction . net/ u/ 2431148/BeyondThePale (Dec 12)


	2. Chapter 2: Assignment

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Prompt: Assignment**

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><p>By the time I arrived at work, a tall Americano in hand, I felt like I was skiing downhill, the adrenaline from the morning propelling me through the doors, up the stairs, and down the long aisle of cubicles to my desk with an ease and lightheartedness I hadn't felt in a long time.<p>

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I knew I probably looked like an idiot, but I didn't care. For the first time in two years, I didn't have any obligations – personal ones, anyway – and it felt good.

After I'd checked my email, listened to my messages, and refilled my coffee, I decided to give Emmett a call. I knew he was going to give me hell about last night, but I needed a place to crash until I could find an apartment and get my stuff moved.

"Hey, man," I said when Emmett answered the phone.

"He's alive," Emmett said in drawn out, mocking voice.

"Shut it," I laughed.

"I assume your balls are still attached to your body?"

"I'd rather you not talk about my balls, but yes, still fully in tact."

"Well after that tantrum Vic threw last night, I was worried you wouldn't make it home in one piece."

"Yeah, the whole think pretty much sucked ass. I didn't get much sleep."

"I don't know why you put up with that shit. If Rose did that –"

"If Rose did that you'd be down on your knees, groveling and trying to fix it," I said, cutting him off and laughing again. Rose, not to mention their two girls, had him wrapped around her finger. Not that Emmett ever complained about it; he was happy, and it went both ways.

He laughed. "Yeah. Yeah. So, what's up?"

"I need a place to crash for the rest of the week."

"She kicked you out?" he said, surprised.

"Nope. I'm moving out. Broke up with her this morning."

"No shit! Really?"

"Really. It was time. Anyway, can I borrow your spare room until I regroup?"

"Probably. I need to check with Rose, but I'm sure she'll be fine with it."

"Thanks. I'm going to see if I can find something before the end of the week, so, it shouldn't be long."

"Cool. I'll let you know what Rose says."

A knock on the door drew my attention away from my conversation. My boss, Ben, was standing there, and I motioned him in.

"Hey, Emmett, I 've gotta run, but let me know what she says."

"Will do."

I quickly hung up the phone and turned to face Ben, who was sitting in one of the chairs in front of my desk.

"Hey, Ben."

"Got a second?"

I nodded. "Sure. What's up?"

"I just got off the phone with Mike Newton over at ZG in Seattle. They think they've come up with some really interesting stuff that might help your liver study. They're at the tail end of a clinical trial, and I want you to go out there next week to check it out."

"What kind of stuff are we talking about?" I asked skeptically. I had been inundated with information on clinical trials underway at several of our facilities. I'd spent a good part of the last six months on the road – one of Vic's big complaints and the reason we'd been fighting last night - and nothing of substance had come of it.

"Some new protein modification drug. I'll send the preliminary report over, but it looks promising," he said.

I quirked my eyebrow, pursed my lips, and sighed.

"Just look it over, then lets talk later today," he said as he stood up.

"Fine. Send it to me, and I'll check it out."

The rest of the day passed in a blur. I spent my lunch hour on the phone with several apartment complexes. I set up a few viewings then called Victoria. I wasn't looking forward to talking to her. Her flair for the dramatic was legendary, but I needed to get some things from the house and didn't just want to barge in after I'd told her I was moving out. Fortunately, I got her voicemail and told her I'd be by later that evening.

By the time I got to the report Ben had sent, I was ready to get out of the office.

I glanced at the clock. It was already after five, and the high from the morning's events had worn off. I knew Ben would be there until closer to six, so I quickly skimmed the report, hoping I could nip this trip in the bud. I had a lot of stuff to take care of, and a trip to Seattle was not on my agenda.

Of course, as luck would have it, the report did look promising, and after an hour-long conversation with Ben, my trip was booked and the agenda was planned.

I was lost in thought when I pulled into the driveway of the house I'd called home for the last year. In the first year we were together, we'd spent the bulk of it shuffling between her apartment and mine. When she found this house, she asked me to move in. With my lease on the verge of being up, it just made sense.

That was before everything got complicated, and we started fighting all the time. Feeling my first hint of regret at how things had ended this morning, I unlocked the front door. As I walked in and flipped on the light, I stopped in the entryway. Two suitcases and a small mountain of boxes were stacked against the wall with my name scrawled in thick, black marker. The one closest to me had a note taped to it.

_Edward,_

_I packed your shit up. You have until Friday to get it out of my house, or I'm throwing it out._

_Victoria_

I reread it several times, crumpled it, and shook my head. The little twinge of regret I'd felt walking up the front walkway quickly morphed into relief. I had definitely made the right decision.

After a quick pass through the house, I loaded the suitcases and as many boxes as I could in my car and drove to Rose and Emmett's. By the time I got there, it was late, and I was wiped out. It had been a long day.

I thought about everything I needed to do the next day and felt the weight of it all settle on my shoulders. The idea of starting over seemed daunting. I let my head fall back against the headrest and closed my eyes.

Maybe this trip to Seattle was exactly what I needed.


	3. Chapter 3: Proud

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Prompt: Proud**

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><p>By the time the landing gear was tucked safely inside the body of the 767 I was on, I finally felt like I could relax. The last several days had been long, tedious, and tiring. After getting to Emmett's and crashing, I woke up to two sets of bright blue eyes and curly pigtails staring up at me from the edge of the bed.<p>

"I think he's awake," I heard one of the girls whisper.

"But his eyes are closed."

"No they're not. I saw them open."

"Nuh uh."

I grinned. I let them keep talking, pretending to sleep until my bladder was screaming. With an over exaggerated groan and stretch, I opened my eyes again and popped up with a loud, "Boo!"

The girls jumped and screamed. I grabbed them both around the waist as they tried to run off and pulled them up onto the bed with me. I dug my fingers into their little bellies and laughed as they giggled and swatted at my hands.

When they couldn't take anymore, I gave them both a squeeze and set them free.

"Mommy! Uncle Edward got us!" Suzie said as she scrambled out of the room, followed closely by her sister, Emma.

I chuckled, grabbed some clothes, and got ready for the day. That was the routine for the remainder of the week. Snuggle time with my goddaughters, breakfast with the entire clan, work, and apartment hunting. By Friday, I'd found a great apartment with a great view and was looking forward to getting settled, to finally having a place of my own.

Don't get me wrong, Emmett and Rose were more than accommodating, and the girls were sweet. But all the upheaval in my life was making me anxious. I liked being settled, having a home base, and I wanted to make sure I had some stability before I left for Seattle.

On Friday morning, I called Vic and told her I was coming by for the rest of my stuff. Our call was short, just like every one of her responses. To be honest, I didn't think she'd be there when I went to pick up my stuff, but her car was sitting in the middle of the driveway instead of her usual spot on the left.

_Moving on already._

I didn't begrudge her that. I was, too. I raised my hand to knock, but before my knuckles could make contact with the door, she pulled it wide open. My eyes practically bugged out of my head when I saw her. She was wearing her almost see-through cream robe and _nothing_ beneath it. Her long, red curls were flowing freely down her back, and by the cock of her hip and the tilt of her head, I could tell she was up to something.

"Hey, baby," she purred as she stepped forward and put her palms on my chest. I was so caught off guard, I didn't immediately respond. It wasn't until her arms wrapped around my neck and her lips began to descend that I put my hands on her shoulders to stop her.

"What are you doing, Vic?" I asked, the rapidly growing sense of unease I felt making me stumble over my words.

"Saying hello," she said sweetly as she tried to press against me again.

I pressed my hands into her shoulders. "Stop. We're not going to do this. I don't want to do this."

"But… come on, Edward. You can't possibly be serious about moving out. What happened to love and the future and all our plans?" she asked, her voice starting to get tinny with emotion.

I pulled her arms from around my neck and moved her backwards into the house. I may have seen all she had to offer, but the neighbors hadn't. We may be over, but I still had enough sense and respect for her to keep all _this_ between us.

Once I'd closed the door and taken a couple steps away from her, I turned to see her shoulders slumped in defeat and her face hidden by her hair.

"Look at me, Victoria." I waited. "Hey," I said softly, brushing my hand against her shoulder. "Look at me."

When she did, her normally beautiful blue eyes were filled with tears and her jaw was trembling.

"I'm sorry things ended the way they did, but you and I both know things hadn't been going well for a while. We deserve better, to be happy, to not fight all the time. I don't want that for me, and I don't want it for you."

"But-"

I stopped her. "No buts. I meant what I said Tuesday. I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore."

I waited. In some sense it was like the scene from earlier in the week was replaying itself, and I had no idea what to expect. When her eyes finally met mine, the steely woman I knew and once loved had replaced the sad woman in front of me.

"Just get your stuff and get out." Her voice was cold, detached, and before I could hesitate or say anything else, she turned and walked out.

_So much for ending on good terms._

I quickly packed the remainder of my stuff in the car, left my key and garage door opener on the table in the entryway, and walked out of the house for the last time.

By Saturday, I'd unpacked everything and put it all away. I'd even put together a couple bookshelves, hung some pictures on the wall, and made my bed.

As I stood back and admired my handy work, I felt good – proud, even. This was my place, my chance to start fresh, and I was definitely looking forward to it. Pizza, beer, and an impromptu poker game with Emmett, Peter, and James was exactly what I needed to christen the place and fully make it mine.

I glanced out the window of the airplane and thought about the load of work that awaited me upon arrival. I'd spent some time on Sunday afternoon rereading and thinking about the report Ben had given me and was hopeful this trial was in fact part of the answer to the clinical trials my own team was running. We needed a breakthrough on this liver drug.

"_We are beginning our final descent into Seattle. Please ensure your seatbelts are fastened, your seats are in their full and upright positions, and your tray tables are stowed and locked. We'll be by to gather any remaining service items_._"_

I shifted in my seat, tucked the book I hadn't even opened back in my bag, and closed my eyes. As the plane dipped through the clouds, I realized I hadn't been back to Seattle since I'd graduated ten years ago. Over the years I'd kept in touch with a handful of my college buddies who still lived there, but beyond a random email, Christmas card, or _Friend Request_ on _Facebook_, I hadn't given any of them much thought.

But once I started down memory lane, the floodgates opened.

Parties at the house with Jasper and Jacob.

Long talks with Dr, Andreski and late nights in the ChemE lab.

And Bella.

I wondered how she was doing, what she'd been up to since we'd parted ways, if she was still in the city, if she was happy…

The plane touched down, jolting me out of my thoughts, but as I stood and gathered my belongings, I decided to do what I did best – research.

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><p>Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews and support for this little project! I appreciate it so much!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4: Motivate

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Prompt: Motivate**

"So, tell me what you've found," I said, looking at each members of Mike's team.

One by one they proceeded to tell me about their specific areas of research, what they'd been testing, and the results they'd found. As I listened, I felt my excitement start to build. My own team had been stonewalled for well over a year, trying to better understand the molecular relationship between chronic hepatitis B and C infections and Hepatocellular Carcinoma (liver cancer), but it looked like Mike's team had inadvertently stumbled upon some new findings.

By the time everyone had finished, my heart was pounding. It was like I'd just received a dose of adrenaline and the motivation I'd been lacking for months had just gotten a boost.

"This is excellent. The team in Princeton is currently in the midst of a clinical trial for a new Hep B drug. We've been trying to better understand the molecular mechanisms of viral integration into cellular DNA as HCC develops. So far, we've had limited success. The work you've been doing here may be just the breakthrough we need," I said enthusiastically.

I spent the next three hours holed up in the lab with Mike's top researchers. By the time the day was over, I felt that special fatigue that only comes from a very good day at work. As I gathered my things to head back to the hotel, Mike asked if I wanted to join him and a couple of the other researchers for drinks at a local bar.

Thirty minutes later we were seated at a little pub around the corner and drinking our first round of beers. I listened to the chatter around me, content to just chill and relax. It had been a great day, and I silently thanked Eric for insisting I come out here.

At some point, another couple rounds were ordered, and I was pleasantly buzzed. It had been too long since I'd just hung out with a group of guys, shooting the shit. I rarely had time to do happy hour with my own team. If I wasn't working late, I was scrambling to get home or to some function Vic had agreed to attend. I decided I'd change things up when I got back home.

I picked up my mug and was just about to take a drink when I looked up. I squinted and looked a little closer. Sure enough, it was one of my old frat buddies – Ben Marcus.

I excused myself and made my way over.

"Ben?" I asked when there was a lull in their conversation.

He looked up, and I waited until recognition dawned.

"Edward? Edward Cullen?"

I grinned and stuck my hand out. He stood, shaking it, and pulled me in for a one-arm man hug.

"Hey, man," I said, laughing and taking a step back.

"What the hell are you doing in Seattle? Do you live here?"

"Nah. I'm here for work," I said, pointing to the group across the bar.

"Nice. How the hell have you been?" he asked and pulled a free chair over for me to sit.

We proceeded to catch up. He and his wife had two girls with one more on the way, and he was working as an investment banker at a local firm. I told him about my research and the work we were doing – the abbreviated, interesting for lay people version.

"So, no wife, kids?" he asked jokingly, He signaled the waitress for two more.

"Not yet. I actually just got out of a long-term relationship last week," I said, swallowing the last of my beer just as another was placed before me. I nodded my thanks.

"I'm assuming this was a good thing?" he asked, testing the waters.

I laughed. "Definitely. It was time, you know?"

He nodded. "Gotcha."

We sat in silence for a second, both of us enjoying our beers and listening to the conversation he had long abandoned to catch up with me. I sipped by beer, thinking about all the good times we'd had together.

"Do you ever see any of the other guys?" I asked.

"Jacob, Jasper, and I grab pizza and beers every couple of weeks. They're both doing well."

"Nice."

"And I run in the same business circles as some of the other guys – James, Vinny, and Dave." He paused, taking a swig of his beer. "Oh, and I saw Bella at a UW last week for an alumni event."

I tipped my head back just slightly and pursed my lips. _I guess she is still here._ "Really," I said, more a statement than a question.

"Yeah. She's a professor. English, I think. She was receiving some kind of award for some research she'd done or something like that."

He continued to talk, telling me all about the event and some other stories from hanging out with the guys, but I was still stuck on the news about Bella. I couldn't believe she was still here in the city or that she'd become a professor. I shouldn't have been surprised. That's what she'd always wanted.

"What about you? Do you ever see anyone?" Ben asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Not really. Princeton's pretty isolated, and to be honest, I'm terrible at keeping in touch," I said with a half laugh.

"No shit, man. When you left after graduation, it was like you'd fallen off the face of the earth. Where the hell did you go?"

I proceeded to tell him about my time at MIT and then moving to Princeton and the work I was doing there.

"It sounds like you've accomplished exactly what you set out to," he said when I'd finished.

"I can't complain."

~*WS*~

Later that night when I was back in my hotel room, I thought about what he'd said. Had I accomplished what I wanted? In some ways, yes. Definitely on a professional level, but when I recounted the story, it sounded like I had isolated myself. I guess to a certain degree I had. When I left Seattle, I was in full dream-pursuit mode, and I knew I had lost friends and left a broken heart in my wake.

As I closed my eyes that night and fell into a fitful slip, I dreamed of Bella Swan for the first time in a long time.


	5. Chapter 5: Excuse

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Prompt: Excuse**

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><p>When I woke up the next morning, my head was pounding. I peered through the barely open slits of my eyes and saw it was still way too early for me to be awake. Damn jet lag was throwing me off, not to mention the copious amounts of beer I'd consumed the day before.<p>

I lay in bed, trying to doze, but couldn't quite get back to sleep. It was annoying and excruciating, and I finally decided to give up and shower. The scalding water felt good on my back and shoulders, and somehow managed to ease the throbbing in my head.

By the time I got into the Seattle office, my headache had been reduced to a dull ache. The coffee, omelet, and toast I'd eaten seemed to have helped.

The day passed easily. Mike's team spent a good part of the morning on a conference call with my team. Like the day before, everyone shared their work and findings. I could hear the undercurrent of excitement in their voices. It was exciting and exhilarating, much like it had been yesterday. There was absolutely nothing like the good buzz of discovery for a researcher, and together, these two teams were on the verge of finding something big, something very promising.

As they hashed through some of the more mundane but necessary details of their work, I found my thoughts drifting to my conversation with Ben. The mention of Bella had thrown me for a loop.

I had thought of her off and on over the years. When we'd parted ways… let's just say it wasn't on the best terms. I think she expected more. No, I know she did, and I just couldn't give it to her. I wasn't ready.

"Edward?"

I looked up at a room full of expectant faces.

"I'm sorry. Could you repeat the question?" I asked. There was no doubt I wasn't paying attention.

"Would you be willing to authorize a trip for several members of your team to come out later this week, so we can really get to work?" Mike asked.

I nodded. "Of course," I said to him and then glanced at the polycon in the center of the table. "Steve, go ahead and select a team, put in the travel authorization, and I'll sign it."

"I'm on it," Steve said eagerly.

The conversation quickly wrapped, and the group dispersed until it was only Mike and me.

"Pretty impressive stuff, huh?" Mike said.

I nodded. It really was. I still couldn't believe our good fortune at the turn of events. "It is. And you know, we would never have known you guys were working on this stuff had we not randomly gotten our hands on the report you wrote. I'm going to talk to Eric about some cross-site meetings. We need to be better at sharing our work, especially when there are clearly synergies between the work we're all doing."

Mike agreed and offered to help me set something up.

As the end of the workday neared, I was ready to call it a day. I quickly scrolled through my email, eliminating a few quick things, and saw a notice from the UW Alumni office. With my interest strangely but not surprisingly piqued, I quickly opened it and scanned the contents. It was nothing more than an appeal for money, but it reawakened that little nagging thought I'd had all day and gave me an excuse to actually do some research on her.

I opened up a new tab in my browser and went to the UW website and quickly typed in _Isabella Swan_ in the search box. My mouse hovered over the "Go" button for a second as I felt my pulse quicken in anticipation.

I had no idea why I felt like that. It seemed so bizarre that just the thought of finding out a little information about her after all these years could make my heart race. I was the one who left. I was the one who needed to see what the world had to offer without any distractions. So, why was my chest tight? And why did it feel like I'd swallowed rocks?

I closed my eyes and pressed the button. When I opened them, there was a long list of entries – most about her credentials, some about a number of awards she'd received, and several on books she'd published. As I scrolled, I felt like I was just scratching the surface to who she'd become. I scanned a couple more before I closed the browser.

I shook my head, embarrassed at the hour I'd spent studying a girl I had walked away from ten years ago. I shut down my computer, packed it away, and grabbed my stuff. I made my way through the open, empty corridors down to my car.

As I put the car in drive, I had every intention of going back to my hotel but instead found myself driving through old, familiar neighborhoods until I was parked in the central parking plaza near Benson Hall, my old stomping ground.

I looked around then climbed out of the car. Slowly, I walked the familiar paths through campus. It seemed like old memories were around every corner.

_The day Bella met me with hot coffee and bagels in front of Benson after my first ChemE exam._

_The last day of class before spring break when we played in Drumheller Fountain. God, she was beautiful all dripping wet._

_The hours we spent studying in the library, legs intertwined and whispering stupid stuff to each other._

_The little café where always used to grab lunch._

She was everywhere, and it felt strange being there and walking around without her. I had no right to feel that way, but nevertheless, I did.

On a whim, I turned and walked to the one place I might actually see her. As I stopped in front of Padelford Hall, I felt a surge of warmth wash over me. The tall, nondescript brick building looked just like it always had, and that fact felt strangely comforting. I'd spent countless hours in that building with Bella while she studied or sat in class.

I don't know what actually compelled me to move, but I took the steps slowly and made my way inside the brightly lit building. Christmas decorations hung merrily from the ceilings and walls, and a nicely decorated tree sat near the entryway. I glanced at the marquis and quickly found her name.

I wound my way through the halls until I was standing outside her door. A nameplate to the left had her name in thick black letters – Dr. Isabella Swan. What the hell was I doing here, outside her office? I wasn't sure if she was even in there, and if she was, I had no idea what I was going to say to her.

Long forgotten images of her tear-streaked face came to my mind. I turned to go but stopped. Maybe it was curiosity or something else, but I just couldn't walk away.

Slowly, I walked up to the door. With a deep breath, I lifted my hand, and knocked.

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><p>Thanks for being so patient. I know you guys are anxious for Bella to appear. She will. Trust.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6: Stroll

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Prompt: Stroll**

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><p><em>Slowly, I walked up to the door. With a deep breath, I lifted my hand, and knocked.<em>

"It's open," I heard a muffled voice from inside the office say.

She was there. Inside. Just on the other side of the door. Something akin to panic set in, and I was just about to walk away when I heard her voice again.

"Come in."

I attempted to swallow, but it felt like something was preventing my muscles from working properly.

_Pull it together, Edward._

Right. With a deep cleansing breath and then another one, I grabbed the knob and turned. The door opened easily and within seconds I was standing inside a cramped office, covered in wall-to-wall books, facing a woman I had never seen before.

A blonde-haired woman was sitting at a small desk next to a mountain of blue books.

"Can I help you?" she asked politely as she stared at me.

"Um, yeah. I was looking for Isabella Swan," I said, feeling relieved and disappointed in equal measure.

"Oh, well, she's in a faculty meeting and should be back-" She paused and glanced at her watch. "anytime, actually. You're welcome to wait, if you'd like."

I shifted nervously. The idea of waiting seemed intolerable, but leaving didn't seem appealing either. Torn by my indecision, I just stood there, awkwardly staring at the young woman, before she gave me sort of a weird look, shook her head, and looked back down at the stuff on her desk, muttering what sounded like an exasperated "okay."

I glanced around the room. It was in complete disarray – or organized chaos, as Bella would almost certainly have said. She once told me she couldn't thrive or be creative when everything was neatly put together. Her office fit her to a T.

The longer I stood there, taking in all the details of her visible life, the more uncomfortable I felt. It was like I was intruding on a part of her life without her permission, and it was awkward.

After another quick sweep of the room, I turned back to the blonde haired girl and was just about to tell her I was leaving when I heard _her_ voice.

I would know that voice anywhere, and unlike earlier, it wasn't muffled by a closed door.

My stomach started to roll and twist, and my earlier disappointment was instantly replaced with a new, more intense set of nerves. I quickly stepped to the side, trying to figure out what to do when she walked in the room.

"Hey, Tanya," she said as she breezed past and started unloading the pile of paperwork from her arms.

From that point, everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

Tanya started to speak just as Bella turned, and I stepped forward. A whole series of expressions crossed her face – surprise, disbelief, something I couldn't quite recognize, and finally a hesitant smile.

"Edward?" Bella said, her voice soft and disbelieving.

"Hey, Bella," I said, trying to appear the picture of calm I most definitely was not. My heart was pounding in my chest as I took in the woman before me. She looked the same – long, brown hair; soft, brown eyes; and the beginnings of what I hoped was a warm smile – but different, too. She was thinner than I remembered and was wearing a pair of dark-framed, rectangle glasses that made my mind race with all sorts of wildly inappropriate thoughts. She also looked older, more mature, in a way that most definitely suited her. In short, she looked professional and definitely _not_ like any professor I had ever had.

I watched her eyes scan over me, much like I'd been doing to her, and couldn't believe I was standing in her office. It was surreal and frightening and made me feel completely out of my element.

We stood there for a second, both lost in our thoughts, when Tanya stood, tilted her and pointed her thumb toward the door, and as nonchalantly as possible said, "I think I'm gonna get going."

Bella pulled her eyes away from me and turned to look at her, before pulling herself together.

"Right. Great. Thanks for your help today, Tanya. Will you be in tomorrow?"

Tanya nodded, quickly grabbed her stuff, and walked out, glancing at her shoulder and giving Bella a concerned look.

Bella subtly nodded her head and gave her a small smile, and then Tanya was gone.

With a deep breath, Bella turned to face me. "Well," she said, gesturing to one of the chairs in front of her desk and moving around to take her own, "this is a surprise."

I scratched my head, feeling completely out of my element and most definitely like an intruder. By the tone of her voice it didn't sound like it was a welcome surprise.

"Yeah, um, look, I can just go. I didn't mean to interrupt. I was just-"

What _was_ I doing? I had no idea what I had hoped would happen; I'd sort of just ended up here, and now that I was, I realized how stupid I must look.

"Edward, have a seat." Her voice was authoritative and strong, and without hesitating, I did as she requested.

She sat back in her chair and stared at me. "So, what brings you here?" she asked, her tone polite but distant.

"Well," I said, swallowing, "I'm actually here for work and ran into Ben Marcus the other night. We got to talking, and he, uh, mentioned you. And, well… I guess I was sort of curious how you'd been."

Bella laughed. "And you didn't think a phone call or email would have been easier?"

I chuckled. _Good point._ "To be completely honest, Bella, I really didn't give it much thought."

That sounded so lame. I huffed, shaking my head, and looked down at my hands, resting in my lap.

"I'm well," Bella said. I looked up at her and sort of relaxed when I saw the slight uptick at the corners of her mouth. There was a beat of silence before she finally asked, "And you?"

"Oh, um, good. I'm good. Been working a lot."

"Good."

It was the most awkward, uncomfortable pseudo-conversation I'd been a part of in a long time, and even worse, it was with someone I used to know really damn well. It pretty much sucked, and it was most definitely clear I needed to find some way to get out of there.

"Right, well, like I said, I didn't mean to interrupt. It was good seeing you, Bella," I said as I rose from my chair.

Her eyes widened briefly and then she looked at her desk.

"Oh, okay. Well," she said, standing, "it was good seeing you, too, Edward."

We both stood there, staring, until some force – and thank god for it – compelled me to move toward the door. I turned around, gave her a small, somewhat disheartened smile. "Bye, Bella."

"Bye." Her voice had taken on the same softer, quiet tone she'd had when she first said my name, and the slight downturn of her mouth confused me.

With another quick glance, I walked out, strolling briskly down the hall and back to my car.

* * *

><p>::hides::<p> 


	7. Chapter 7: Repel, Propel

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Thank you all so much for the reviews. I literally ran out of time to respond. Today has just been crazy. I love them and am so glad you're enjoying this story!

Huge thanks to jennde for giving this a quick once over and some feedback. Much love, bb!

**Prompt: repel, propel**

* * *

><p>I sat in my car for a solid fifteen minutes, my fingers drumming on the steering wheel, until I threw my head back against the headrest with an exasperated huff. What the hell was wrong with me? I never had difficulties talking with people, and yet the minute I saw her it was like every ounce of intellect I had flew out the window.<p>

_What a freaking moron._

Part of me wanted to go back in there, apologize, and try again, but I still had no clue what to say to her. What was there to say, anyway?

_Hi, Bella. Long time no see._

_What's been happenin', babe?_

_Looks like time's been good to you._

Yeah. Definitely not. Unless I wanted to further repel her, which I most definitely did not.

Frustrated and even more annoyed with myself, I started the car and pulled out of the parking garage.

Several hours and a few beers in the hotel bar later, I was finally tired and in a better place. But as I lay in bed, I allowed myself to think about _her._ Not the awful way things had gone, but _her._

She looked good. Pretty. Prettier than I remembered, which was saying something since I used to think I was the luckiest guy around. I glanced out the curtain-clad windows at the city lights in the distance. When had that changed? Had it? Or had life just sort of propelled me forward on a path that didn't converge with hers?

I wasn't sure. Saying goodbye to her all those years ago was difficult, but at the time it seemed like the right option. I was heading to MIT for my PhD, and she was moving to L.A.. It didn't make sense to do the long distance thing when there wasn't any real chance of us being on the same coast for a long time.

Not to mention, we were sort of at that do or die point in our relationship – take the next step or end it. I wasn't ready for a full-on life commitment, especially not when parts of me wondered what else was out there. It was never about whom else could I be with, but more like there were so many things I had yet to see or do. In the end, I made a decision that made sense to me. That still did.

But something about her expression as I was standing at the door about to leave tonight confused me. She looked almost sad, like there was more she wanted to say.

At some point, I fell asleep, but when I woke up at four in the morning, I knew I wouldn't fall back asleep.

"Ughhh," I groaned, kicking off the covers and sitting up.

Forty-five minutes later I was sitting at my computer, that same email from the UW Alumni Office that had propelled me to drive across town and then act like a complete moron was staring me in the face. I thought again about the way her eyes had dipped down and that frown had formed, and I decided to try again.

I pulled up her UW profile and clicked on her email address. I stared at the black letters in front of me, narrowing my eyes in thought.

_Dear Bella,_

_I hope this finds you well. I wanted to apologize for showing up in your office yesterday unexpectedly and then leaving as abruptly as I did._

_At one point you asked why I hadn't emailed or called. I still don't have an answer to that, but I thought I'd try again. Would you consider meeting me for coffee tonight or maybe even tomorrow? Just to catch up._

_It was nice seeing you._

_Edward_

I read over it a couple of times, made a few changes, but in the end just clicked _Send_.

Once I did, I felt better. The ball was in her court. If she wanted to see me, it was on her to respond. If not, well… I guess it wasn't meant to be.

By noon, I still hadn't heard from her, and it was starting to bother me. I rarely dwelled on anything besides the work I was doing, so everything about this situation felt foreign. Even when Victoria was upset or irritated with me, I sort of just blew things off. I knew she'd get over it. But this felt different, and I couldn't put my finger on why.

Every time a new message would pop up in my inbox, my stomach tightened until I realized it wasn't her. Annoyed with myself for caring so much, I closed out of my email and started reading through a series of new reports. I got completely engrossed in a new body of research on the functional role of hepatitis Bx protein.

So when one of the researchers from Mike's team came up and asked if I'd seen the new findings the team had just sent, I shook my head and told him I'd take a look.

I opened my inbox, now so full of new messages, most from Mike and Eric, I almost missed the one from Dr. Isabella Swan. That same bout of nerves I'd had earlier when I initially sent her the email was back in full force, twisting my stomach in unpleasant ways.

I clicked it open.

_Edward,_

_Thank you for your email. Yesterday was definitely… interesting. I can meet for coffee this evening, if you're still interested. Let's say, six o'clock at Trabant Coffee & Chai in the U District._

_See you then._

_Bella._


	8. Chapter 8: It's the Most Wonderful Time

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Audio-Visual Prompt: **"It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" by Andy Williams.

* * *

><p>I arrived at the coffee shop twenty minutes early. After I received Bella's email, I decided I needed a game plan. I couldn't show up and act like I had in her office. I was usually self-assured and confident, a product of being successful in my field and constantly having to interact with people at all levels for work, and my display of utter incompetence felt foreign.<p>

As I walked through the door, I took a look around. There were a handful of empty tables, and I finally settled on one off to the side and toward the back of the shop. It was relatively private without feeling too intimate, exactly what I wanted.

I grabbed a seat facing the door and waited. The sounds of "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," played quietly from the overhead speakers. I found myself humming along to Andy Williams' voice and thought about my plans for Christmas.

I was supposed to spend the holidays with Mom, Dad, and my brother, Riley, who would be home from Europe for a couple weeks. I still couldn't believe he had decided to study culinary arts in Tuscany. From the infrequent emails and very rare phone calls, he seemed to be having the time of his life. It would be good to catch up with him.

The bell on the front door jingled, and my eyes immediately flew to the door. A middle-aged man in a brown trench coat walked in, shaking drops of water off his sleeves. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and checked the time – five till.

I thought back over Bella's email. It was hard to guess at her mood or the tone, but the fact she'd agreed to meet me was surprising.

The bells jingled again and a young couple walked in, holding hands and smiling at each other as they placed their order at the counter. The door opened and closed another three times, and each time I felt a twist of apprehension and disappointment in my gut. I wasn't one to get easily worked up or to spend much time dwelling – breaking up with Victoria was certainly evidence of that – but this whole situation had left me feeling uncertain and confused.

I glanced at my phone and saw it was ten after six. Bella was late. I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but my mind whirred with the possibility that she might not come after all. It seemed uncharacteristic of the Bella I knew – to be late, to not show up for something – but it had been a long time since we'd talked, and it wasn't like I really knew her anymore.

Before I could get too far down the rocky path of what-ifs, the door opened again, the jingle bells tinkling softly, and there she was.

I watched as her eyes scanned the room. She spotted me, nodding her head just slightly in acknowledgement as she began walking toward me, unwinding the scarf around her neck.

She arrived at the table just as I stood up, fumbling to quickly stuff my phone in my pocket.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. The department head stopped me as I was walking out and needed to run something by me. I thought he'd never stop talking," she said a little breathlessly.

I took in the pink flush of her cheeks and the way her movements were a little frantic and couldn't help but smile. Truthfully, I didn't care that she was late; I was just glad she actually showed up.

I smiled, relieved. "No problem."

I waited for her to get settled. "Can I get you something?" I asked, stepping out from behind the table

"Oh, um," she said, squinting up at the menu board as she started to stand, "I can get it."

"Bella, just relax. I've got it. What would you like?" I wanted her to have a chance to relax. I was nervous, and I had to believe she was, too.

She looked at me a little tentatively and nodded. "Ok, thanks. I'll have a chai please."

"Great. I'll be right back."

In truth, I wanted a moment to myself to collect my thoughts. Seeing her, just like the day before, had left me feeling unsure and not myself. I took a deep breath as I stepped up to the counter and placed our order.

"I'll have the Guatemala and a chai, please."

The guy behind the counter nodded and called out the order to his partner. "Can I get you anything else?" he asked as he started to ring up the order.

I glanced at the case with the pastries and settled on two mint chocolate chip cookies. I hoped Bella still liked those. I knew she was allergic to coconut and gingerbread had never been her favorite. Memories of conversations of old came unbidden, and I smiled at the thought.

After paying, I watched as they assembled the drip over the bar and poured in the grounds and water. I'd never seen anyone make coffee like that, and it was fascinating.

Several minutes later, the guy handed me my coffee, Bella's chai, and a plate of cookies. I managed to juggle all three and slowly made my way over to the table. When I got there, Bella immediately jumped into action, taking the plate from my hands, so I could set our drinks down.

I quickly took a seat and watched as Bella eyed the plate of cookies, her eyes flicking up to mine. The mood at the table was tense, and the air of uncertainty hung heavily, like a thick wet blanket.

"You can have one," I said with a slow smile, hoping to break the ice but feeling that twinge of nerves twist again in my stomach.

Her eyes met mine, and a grin started to form as she picked one up. "Are these mint chocolate chip?"

I nodded. "Is that okay? I thought I remembered you liking them." As the words tumbled out, I blanched, realizing I had just let it slip that I had in fact been thinking about her. Of course, I had, but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable or add any more pressure to what already looked to be another awkward encounter.

Her grin widened. "Wow. Yeah, I do."

I watched as she took a bite. Her eyes fluttered closed as she chewed.

"I guess it's good?" I asked, relishing the familiarity of the moment as I picked up my own cookie and took a bite. If there was one thing Bella loved, it was chocolate and sweets.

Her cheeks flushed and she looked down for a second. "Yeah."

I finished chewing my cookie and lifted my coffee. Silence had descended over the table. I searched my mind for something to talk about, but everything I came up with seemed too personal.

Eventually, she cleared her throat and set her chai down. "So, how have you been?" she asked.

The question was innocent enough, but I wasn't sure how to answer it. We weren't exactly at that point in our relationship – if you could even call it that – to go deep, so I settled on the lamest response ever.

"I'm good."

Her eyebrows ticked up in disbelief. "After ten years, that's all you've got?" she asked wryly, a disbelieving chuckle slipping out.

For some reason, her sense of humor – something I'd loved about her when we were together and one of the things that had drawn me to her in the first place – was exactly what I needed.

I chuckled, too. "All right. You asked for it. I work for a pharmaceutical company in Princeton, New Jersey. I've actually been there for about five years. I head up on of the research divisions."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah," I said, feeling myself relax. I could talk about work ad infinitum. I was good at that. "I am working with a team conducting a series of clinical trials for a new liver drug. More specifically, we're looking at how to best treat different forms of hepatitis and the impact it has on the liver. In a nutshell," I added as I picked up my coffee and took a long sip.

"That sounds really interesting. And I guess before that you were at MIT?" she asked, her fingers toying with the handle of her mug.

I nodded, setting my cup down. "Yeah. After I left UW-" I ignored the slight tightening of her eyes and pressed on. I was sure that wasn't where she wanted to dwell – and neither did I – and I quickly pressed on. "I moved to Boston, as you know. I spent the first year really trying to get my head on straight but then settled into the Biomedical Sciences MD program."

"You're an MD?" she asked surprised.

I smiled, a little embarrassed. "Actually an MD-PhD."

"That's really… cool, Edward."

"Thanks," I said, picking up my coffee and really looking at her closely for the first time that evening. Her eyes were so expressive – just like I remembered – and I could tell she was impressed. I knew my credentials were something to be proud of, but for some reason, hearing Bella acknowledge it made it feel just that much… cooler.

After a beat of silence bordering on being too long, I set my coffee down and smiled. "What about you?"

* * *

><p>I had hoped to finish writing this yesterday, but real life has been hectic. Then I got sidetracked with the Angst contest results. My entry, Finally they Fall (which I posted on my profile last night), got a special nod from coldplaywhore, one of the contest judges. I wasam deeply flattered and humbled. This story is very personal to me, a slightly modified account of my mom and dad's story. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. Tissues will probably be needed.

More tomorrow! Thanks for all the love!


	9. Chapter 9: Waffle

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. Thanks to mycrookedsmile for the quick read through.

**Prompt: Waffle**

* * *

><p><em>After a beat of silence bordering on being too long, I set my coffee down and smiled. "What about you?"<em>

Bella looked at me, set down her mug, and started talking.

"Well, I guess like you, I've spent a lot of time in school and working."

That wasn't surprising given her career choice. I waited, knowing she would say more. She had always been really good at choosing her words, and this time was no exception.

"After UW, I moved down to Southern California, as you probably I already knew." She gave me what felt like a pointed look, but I was sure I was just feeling what I imagined was her sadness over what had happened between us all those years ago.

I nodded. She went on.

"I got my PhD in English lit and was fortunate to find a teaching position at the University of Texas. I was there for two years when UW called and asked if I'd consider a tenure track position. It was an offer I couldn't refuse, truthfully, and the fact that my dad still lives in Forks made the decision pretty straightforward. I've been here ever since," she said as she picked up her mug and took a sip.

Her eyes met mine, and when she set the mug back down on the table, I could tell her cheeks were turning a little pink. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

"That's interesting. It sounds like things have really fallen into place." Even as I say it, I know it sounds too formal. I wanted to kick myself, but she seemed unfazed and pressed on.

"Yeah. They have. I can't believe how lucky I've gotten. Over the years, I've made some great friends, many of whom I still keep in touch with. I think that has helped." She paused, took another sip, and continued.

"In fact, my good friend and old college roommate, Angela, and I spent the better part of last year in Italy."

I perked up. "Really? Why?"

"I took a year off from teaching to do some research for my book. When I told her I was going, she threatened my life if I left her behind. She's a writer, so she can pretty much write anywhere. We rented a villa in a small town in Umbria and ate, drank and worked," she said with a flourish and finished with a smile.

"Did you finish your book? What was it about?" I asked, leaning forward.

"No. I didn't. But I got a really good start on it, and I'm happy with the progress. As for what it's about… it's about the Italian influence on English poetry."

She launched into several stories about her research and what she had uncovered. I listened as she talked about their – her and Angela's – adventures. I got lost in the way her voice rose and fell with excitement or the intensity of the moment and how animated she was.

I had forgotten what it was like to be around her. In so many ways she was the same – lively, full of energy and heart, happy – but in others she was different. She seemed so self-assured, so confident, and even more attractive than she used to be.

My mom had once told me that having a beautiful woman at my side was a nice plus, but that an intelligent, confident woman was essential to keeping things interesting. I'd long believed that was true, but never had it really hit home like it did listening to Bella talk about her book and research. We were intellectual equals. We always had been, of course, but it just seemed so much more apparent to me.

As we talked, telling stories about the intermittent years, I felt that old familiar draw toward her, the one that made it seem like everything around me had faded away and it was just the two of us. I got lost in every flick of her hair, the tiny wrinkle between her eyebrows as she was trying to find the perfect word to describe something, and the way her eyes brightened and her lips curled into a smile when she was listening to something that interested her.

At one point there was lull in the conversation, and things began to feel awkward again. I knew it was getting late, probably close to eight thirty or nine, but I didn't want to say goodbye. Part of me wondered if she was hungry, if she wanted to maybe get something to eat with me, but I didn't want to ask for fear of ruining the good night we'd had together. Plus, I didn't want to be presumptuous. I had no idea what her personal life was like, if she had a family to go home to. As I waffled back and forth, I didn't realize she'd said something and was waiting for my response.

"Edward?"

"What?"

"I said it was getting late and that I should probably get going."

My heart sank.

"Right. Yes," I said, pulling out my phone and glancing down at it. "You're right."

The table fell silent as we gathered our things and both stood up. I waited for her to fasten her coat, that awful quiet from before permeating the bubble we'd been in.

I wanted to say something, reach out and touch her as we walked outside, but I didn't. The rain had stopped, fortunately, and the night was cool but not overly cold.

She looked up at me and smiled. "It was good to see you, Edward."

I nodded, feeling the disappointment I didn't want to admit I felt swirl around me.

"You too, Bella. Thanks for agreeing to meet me," I said, hating the way my voice and speech felt stilted and unsure, much like it had in her office.

"If you're ever in Seattle again, look me up."

I forced a smile. "I definitely will."

"Well," she said, pointing in the direction opposite of mine, "I'm this way."

I nodded and took a step toward her. I held out my hand, and after a slight pause and a quizzical look crossed her face, her fingers wrapped around mine. Her grip was firm and soft all at the same time.

"Bye, Bella." I said as I let go. "Have a Merry Christmas."

Her eyes twinkled as a big smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "You, too." She paused. "Bye, Edward."

With that she turned and walked away. I stood there, my feet rooted to the ground. Indecision played over and over in my mind. With every step she took, I felt the compulsion to move, to say something, grow.

I shook my head and turned away. I trudged along, feeling unexpectedly defeated. The feeling was foreign and unwanted. When I got to the corner, I stopped and turned around. I squinted my eyes and could still make out her fading figure.

Everything around me stilled, and I realized this was one of those moments in life where you look back and realize you were at a crossroads. Something inside me was pushing me to go after her, but nothing about it made sense. I lived all the way across the country. We were both well established in our careers, and more importantly, she had given me no indication she was even remotely interested in me. But for whatever reason, all logic and rational thought seemed to disappear as I put one foot in front of the other and chased after her.


	10. Chapter 10: Reach

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Prompt: Reach**

* * *

><p>"Bella," I called out just as I closed the distance and was close enough to reach out and touch her.<p>

She whirled around, her eyebrows lifted high and her mouth open in surprise.

I stopped right in front of her, my hands on my knees as I doubled over enough to catch my breath.

"Edward?" she asked, bending over to meet my eyes. "Are you all right?"

I nodded, cursing myself for being so out of shape and for botching the moment with breathlessness and a cramping side.

She stood up, and out of my peripheral vision I could see her looking around, probably embarrassed. I sucked in a deep breath and stood open.

Her eyes met mine, concern marring her features, and I realized I needed to act quickly.

_As if I could be any more impulsive._

"Have dinner with me," I blurted and immediately wanted to retract my invitation.

She looked at me like I'd gone insane. "What?" she said in a disbelieving chuckle.

I paused and took a deep breath, wanting to do this right.

"I had a really great time with you tonight, Bella, and I was wondering if you wanted to continue it and get dinner with me."

There. It was out.

I watched her face and saw her surprise and something else I couldn't quite identify flash across her face. She smiled. It seemed genuine if not tentative as she started fidgeting.

The longer the silence stretched on, the more nervous I became. Sure, it was only a few seconds, but it seemed infinitely longer before she finally spoke.

"I really shouldn't. It's late, and I need to be getting home."

Disappointment and embarrassment washed over me. I nodded, wanting to flee. "I understand. It was good seeing you again, Bella."

I took a step back, my pride wounded even though it made no sense for me to feel that way. I knew asking her out was a long shot; it was completely irrational, but the fact that she'd turned me down spoke volumes.

None of which I wanted to read.

Just as I was about to turn around, I felt her hand wrap around my elbow. I looked down to see her outstretched arm and a weird smile on her face.

"Hey, don't do that. I said I shouldn't, not that I didn't want to."

I stared at her in disbelief, my own confusion I'm sure was painted all over my face. "Okay," I said, drawing it out into a question.

"I have an early meeting tomorrow morning, but if you're free, I could meet you for dinner tomorrow night."

I peered into her eyes, sure she was toying with me, but then I felt stupid and disgusted with myself for even thinking that. Bella wasn't like that, never had been, and I knew by the question in her eyes she was being serious. And she was waiting for an answer.

"Yes. Absolutely. Dinner tomorrow night would be great."

She nodded resolutely and smiled brightly. "Great. So, I guess we can work out the details tomorrow?"

"Sure. Unless there's some place you've been wanting to go."

"Let me think about it, and I'll send you an email tomorrow."

I grinned. Relieved. Excited. Nervous. "Great. So," I said, stuffing my hands in my pockets and rocking back and forth slightly, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

Awkward.

"Yep. See you then," she said as she turned and walked away.

I watched until she was out of sight, sort of hoping she'd turn around and look, but she didn't.

~*WS*~

The next day was busier than I anticipated when I woke up. My team arrived, and after a round of introductions, everyone got to work. As a team, we spent the day sorting through lab results, dissecting different pieces of data and searching for clues as to how the work Mike's team had done could be used to our advantage.

In some ways, it felt like a buzzword free for all as I caught snippets of conversations from around the room.

"Viral Replication…"

"Hepadnavirus hepatocyte…"

"Transcriptional transactivator…"

"Antisense oligonucleotides..."

"Ribozymes…"

"Dominant negative mutants…"

On and on the two teams worked, discussed, debated – sometimes heatedly – and then pressed on. Watching them work, the thrill of new discovery, was exactly why I fell in love with research. There was something about chasing, honing in on, and capturing the reasons behind the subtleties of nature. I loved that every member of my team was just as into it as I was.

I called a meeting late in the afternoon to get a status check. Steve, Jason, and Maria showed me what they'd been working on, shared how they felt it connected with our trial, and strategized about the plan forward.

The more they talked, the clearer it became that we'd need more than another day here. After getting the team's initial approval, I told them I'd talk to Ben about extending our trip through the middle of the following week.

Shortly after they all went back to the lab, I called Ben. He gave me the thumbs up and a quick update on the remainder of my team back home plus several other projects we'd already discussed. As he talked, I opened my computer for the first time that day. Seeing the mountain of unopened emails put an end to the conversation.

I scrolled through the blaring bold text, all practically screaming for my attention, until I saw her name. An involuntary smiled tugged at the corners of my mouth, and the familiar twist in my gut tightened.

_Edward,_

_I hope you've had a productive day. As promised, I did some thinking. There's a great little Indian/Mediterranean place called Cedar's in the U-District. If that sounds good, let's meet there at 7__ p.m._

_Bella_

I glanced at the clock on my computer and realized I only had about an hour and half. I wanted to get back to my hotel to change before hitting the road and battling traffic.

Forty-five minutes later, I was dressed in a pair of jeans and a button down shirt. I had checked the website to see what kind of place it was, and it seemed causal enough.

Traffic moved at a snail's pace, and the closer I got the more anxious I became. In the time it had taken me to get ready, I had purposely tried not to think about what the night would be like. I didn't want to set my expectations too high – something that was difficult not to do by nature – especially when I had no idea what the night would hold. But with every press of my brake, I couldn't help but hope to learn a little more about _her._ Everything we'd discussed over coffee had been about work or of a more professional and academic nature. I still had no real idea who she really was… or who she'd become over the years.

I hoped to change that.

The parking lot was packed when I finally got there. I turned off the car, let my head fall back against the headrest, and took a deep breath. Feeling strangely calm, I lifted my head, opened the car door, and walked into the restaurant.

* * *

><p>Thank you all for all the reviews and love! You guys cracked me up with all the "Run, Edward, Run!" comments. Run, indeed.<p>

Dinner tomorrow! xoxo


	11. Chapter 11: Dark

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

_Please see A/N at the end._

**Prompt: Dark**

* * *

><p>The place was packed. I wedged my way through the entrance and up to the hostess stand, my eyes scanning the restaurant for Bella. I was just a few minutes early, and I wasn't sure if she would already be there.<p>

"Welcome to Cedar's," the hostess said. "How many in your party?"

"Hi," I said distractedly. "Two, although I'm not sure if my friend is already here. Her name's Bella."

She looked down at the list in her hand then back up at me. "Not yet. Name?"

"Edward."

"It will probably be about thirty minutes."

I nodded and sort of wedged my way into an open spot by the wall to wait. As people entered and left, I got farther away from the entrance. It wasn't until Bella was practically on top of me that I realized she'd arrived.

"Hey," she said, happily.

She looked great. Her hair was loose, her eyes were bright, and she had a warm smile on her face. She was wearing a pair of dark jeans and a soft looking pink sweater that brought out the color in her cheeks. She looked so much like the Bella I remembered. Delicate. Gorgeous.

Part of me wanted to reach out and touch her, but like the night before, it didn't feel right. A lump formed in my throat as I tucked my hands in the pockets of my jeans and smiled nervously. I felt that same gut clench I'd felt almost constantly since I'd started talking to her and had to force my throat to work properly before speaking.

"Hey."

There was a slight pause, that moment of awkwardness where our eyes met, and it felt like something was there, something unspoken, until she pulled her eyes from mine and turned to look at the crowd of people waiting. When she turned back to face me she seemed more guarded, and I wasn't sure why.

"I hope this is okay. This place is always busy, but they seriously have the best food."

I nodded. "Yeah. It's great."

Again with the awkward pause. I realized after another scan of the crowd that if I wanted the evening to go well I was going to have to take some initiative. It was annoying as hell to feel so strangely inadequate and unsure.

_I am a strong, intelligent man. _

_I've seen this girl naked. There's nothing to be nervous about._

_This isn't rocket science, Edward. Enough with the awkward and get it together._

Thoughts swirled around until I finally realized my self-talk was spot on. Obsessing over my time with Bella certainly wasn't going to get me anywhere, and there really wasn't any pressure to do or be more than myself. With that thought in mind, I brushed my finger against her hand to get her attention.

Her head immediately whipped around, and her eyes widened in surprise. Taking advantage of the moment, I dove right in.

"So, how was you day?" I asked my voice gentle, coaxing, even over the noise.

She paused for a second then smiled. "It was good. Busy. I had to administer two finals today, and I've got another one tomorrow. After that, I have a few more papers to grade, and I'll be done for the semester."

"I bet that'll be a relief. It feels like it's been forever since I sat in a classroom and took a final."

She laughed. "I can't seem to escape them. At least I'm on the giving end instead of the taking."

"Very true. Although, truth be told, I'd take an exam over writing a paper any day," I said with a laugh. "There's a reason I chose science. Essays were never my strong suit."

She laughed again, and it sounded so good.

We spent the next fifteen minutes going back and forth about our days. The place continued to fill up, but we both seemed oblivious to the growing crowd of people around us. She shared a couple funny stories about some of her students, and I told her about the work the team and I did that day. I was just about to tell her about staying in Seattle through the following week when I heard my name being called.

I waved my hand to get the hostess's attention and gently nudged Bella forward. As we walked, I pressed my fingers into the small of her back without thinking, and when she turned around, surprised once again at my touch, I withdrew my hand. I couldn't tell from her expression whether it was a good or bad surprised, but I felt like I'd potentially crossed an undrawn line.

We wove our way through the tightly packed restaurant. The tables were extremely close together, affording us little real privacy. I was sort of grateful we wouldn't be forced to have an intimate conversation in some dark corner. The hostess stopped and gestured for us to have a seat and then placed menus in each of our hands. I told her thanks and watched her walk away.

I looked at Bella over the menu and smiled, hoping my earlier "personal space breach" hadn't put a damper on things. From the crinkle at the corner of her eyes, I knew it hadn't.

Relieved, I asked, "So, what's good here?"

She didn't hesitate. "Everything," she said with a chuckle.

I quirked my eyebrow skeptically then glanced at the menu. "So, you're telling me even the… Aloo Gobi is good?"

She glanced down at her menu, scanning the page for it, and grimaced. "Fine. Not _everything_, but pretty much anything without cauliflower is probably going to be good." She smirked, playfully bobbing her head a bit, and I laughed.

I knew she didn't like cauliflower. Back when we'd been together, she would always make sure it wasn't on her salad or would pick around it on vegetable trays. It was sort of a silly thing to remember, but it seemed whenever I was with her, things just came to mind.

After a bit more perusing, we settled on our entrees and agreed to share a plate of hummus and tabouleh.

"So, when you were in Italy, did you get to travel much?" I asked after we were all squared away.

She took a sip of her mango lassi, nodding and humming in delight as she swallowed.

"Man that's good. Sweet with just a hint of ginger."

I raised my eyebrows, loving seeing her so relaxed, and half chuckled half laughed through my nose. "Let me try," I said, reaching out to take her glass from her hand.

She pulled it back, holding it close to her chest, and glared. "Get your own," she said all possessive and playful.

I huffed and pulled my hand back. "Fine. Maybe I will."

We stared at each other and then burst out laughing. It felt good to laugh with her. Unexpected but so good. When I'd walked into the restaurant I had no clue how the evening would go, but it was definitely going much better than I could have hoped. I was glad neither of us had an agenda. It was just me and her, catching up and having a good time, and something about that just felt right.

Over dinner, we talked about different places we'd been – most of Europe for her and part of Europe, Africa, and the Middle East for me – and where we'd each like to go at some point in the future.

"My friend Jacob and I have talked about going to South Africa next summer, but it's still a ways off."

The mention of another guy's name immediately piqued my interest. The one area we had yet to discuss was our personal lives. We'd danced around the subject a bit, but neither of us had opened ourselves up to that level of scrutiny or self-disclosure.

Given that the topic was potentially before me, I couldn't help but wonder f he was a serious figure in her life, a significant other, perhaps. I wanted to broach the subject with her but wasn't sure how to without coming off like a complete Neanderthal. It really wasn't any of my business who or if she was dating someone, but that logic did nothing to quash my curiosity.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, trying to act as nonchalant as possible.

"Yeah. He came to visit me and Ang in Italy, then the three of us spent a couple weeks touring Greece and Turkey."

She talked about hiking at Cappadocia, shopping in spice markets in Istanbul, visiting Crete and the Palace of Knossos, and all the other major sites in between. Jacob was present in every story, every memory. It shouldn't have surprised me given he was on the trip with her, but it still didn't sit well with me.

I pushed aside the nagging feeling in my gut. I shouldn't feel anything, and yet, even I could hear the sharp edge that crept into my voice when I commented on different parts of the story.

When she finished her story, I offered up a flat, "Sounds like it was a lot of fun."

She sat back and stared at me, her eyes narrowing just slightly before she picked up her glass and took a drink. Her eyes never left mine as she tilted her glass up, and I was surprised by the weird intensity of the moment. Surprised and confused.

Was she flirting with me?

Before I could even think about it, the words came tumbling out. "So, is Jacob your boyfriend?"

_Smooth, Edward. Real smooth_, I thought, instantly berating my stupidity and lack of class.

"Jacob? Oh gosh no!" she said, practically snorting. "Definitely not."

I stared at her, my confusion, I'm sure, evident in the scrunch of my eyebrows.

She laughed harder. "Jacob is my best friend. And he's gay."

Relief, as inappropriate as it seemed, surged through my like water over a dam.

I tried to laugh it off. "Well that would certainly be interesting, wouldn't it?"

She nodded. "Just a tidge," she said, holding her thumb and index finger up to indicate a small amount.

Bella had just opened her mouth to say something when the server came by the table and asked if we wanted anything else. We looked at each other, and she must have seen something – perhaps my desire to spend more time with her, to recover (if only mentally) from my near run in with some feelings I was most definitely confused about – and asked for a coffee and a piece of baklava. I did the same.

After the server left, she quirked her eyebrow, and I could tell just by the look on her face she was about to say something sassy.

"So, what about you?"

"What about me?"

"You seemed overly concerned about Jacob being my boyfriend – which, by the way, I don't have one – so, now it's your turn in the hot seat."

It was my turn to be surprised. "Um, well," I stammered.

"Oh, spit it out," she said, prodding me along.

"No. I'm not with anyone right now."

She smirked, clearly unsatisfied. "It sounds like there's a story there."

I shifted back in my seat. Did I really want to tell her about Victoria? I tried to quickly decide how far to go, when I realized it really didn't matter. It was clear Bella wasn't going to judge me. She had been nothing but open and forthcoming all night. That realization gave me a little boost of confidence.

"Well, to be completely honest, I literally broke up with my girlfriend of two years last week."

Her mouth opened, forming a slight "O", but she didn't say anything. I proceeded to tell her a sanitized version of the story. In some ways it felt strange to share that kind of information with her, but it was also strangely liberating. All the cards – the relationship ones, anyway – were finally on the table.

"Sounds like it's been a bit a tough time," she said sympathetically when I'd finished.

"It has, but it was time. I knew things were only going to go downhill, and I really didn't want to walk away feeling anymore animosity than necessary."

Bella nodded and was quiet as the server brought our coffee and dessert. The server set it down, and Bella immediately set to work adding sugar and cream to hers. I watched as she stirred. With each pass of the spoon, a small crease formed and deepened between her eyebrows.

I tried to imagine what she was thinking, but nothing really jumped out. She blew across the top of her drink and slowly brought it to her lips, sipping it slowly. I waited, wondering what was on her mind, but eventually the crease disappeared.

I decided not to press the issue.

The rest of the evening was spent talking, laughing, and enjoying our desserts. She told me about her family and some of the other things she'd been working on.

Watching her talk was absolutely fascinating. I found myself drawn in by her charisma and passion. It seemed like every subject we discussed she had something unique and meaningful to contribute. The longer we sat there, our cups of coffee long forgotten, the more attractive she became.

She had always been beautiful, but it was her intellect and her ability to clearly articulate her thoughts that drew me to her. The more she shared, the more I wanted to know. It was exhilarating and confusing all at the same time.

At some point, the conversation slowed, and it seemed like the right time to get the bill. We quibbled over it, but in the end I won.

Outside the restaurant we both stood there, facing each other. We had spent the entire evening talking, and yet I felt like there was so much more to say. Part of me wanted to be bold, do something impulsive, but the more rational side of my brain told me to hold tight. I'd done enough crazy stuff over the last two days to more than tide me over.

"Thanks for dinner tonight, Edward. I had a nice time," Bella said, her eyes alight but guarded. The same way they'd been since I'd told her about Vic. ''

I didn't like it.

"I had a great time with you tonight, Bella. Thank you for bringing me here."

"My pleasure."

There was another beat of silence, and awkwardness permeated the air between us, mixing with the weird tension I was already feeling.

I didn't like that, either.

She reached in her bag to grab her keys. "I guess I'll be seeing you."

Something in her tone made my heart spike. It sounded almost… sad.

I didn't like it. Not at all. In fact, it took me back to a moment that I hadn't thought about in a long time, and I didn't want to end things on that note. I wasn't naïve enough to think there wasn't _something_ going on between us, but I had no idea how to classify it. The conversation all night long and even the day before had been upbeat, fun, intense, and very real, and I wanted to have more of it.

She took a step backward. Hesitating. Stalling.

Something told me if she turned away, it would be the end of whatever _this_ was. I wasn't ready to let _it _go.

"Yeah… look, I know…" I paused and wrapped my hand around the back of my neck then dropped it to my side. I looked her right in the eyes, almost pleading. "Can I see you again tomorrow? Please? I just…"

"Yes," she said, almost too softly for me to hear.

"Yes. Okay, then. I'll see you tomorrow, Bella."

She smiled. A big one. "Night, Edward."

* * *

><p>There you have it. Some progress and some more information!<p>

I will be on the road and out of town for a couple of days. I'm hoping to write in the evenings, but I can't promise it'll be everyday. So, please bear with me.

Jennde is like my partner in crime on this journey. She is writing a story called Proud, using the same witfit prompts. We are essentially on the same prompt path, and it's been fun to see how we each use them. Check out her story. It's in her faves!

And last, I had hoped to post this earlier, but like the other day, I got sidetracked with the Beyond the Pale 2 contest announcement. I was ecstatic that my entry, **Dancing on the Edge**, got 2nd place and "story that made my heart bleed." This is a story about Jane. It has some dark themes wrapped in hope, and I almost guarantee you'll find a place for her in your heart. I'd love to hear your thoughts. The link is on my profile.

Ok... I'm off to pack! Can't wait to hear what you think! Much love!


	12. Chapter 12: Sprinkle

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Prompt: Sprinkle**

* * *

><p>"Ben, no. Our team can't afford to take on another full time trial. We are over extended as it is, and the team here is already going to be extending their stay and working over the weekend."<p>

I had no idea what his problem was, but the fact he was pushing me to take on more work than my team could handle was no sitting well with me.

"Look, Edward, I haven't been given much choice. Graham pretty much demanded we take it on, and your team is the best."

I groaned, running my hand through my hair. He had a point; my team was the best, and I was damn proud of the consistent results they'd delivered over the last two years.

"Fine. Send me the details, and the team and I will come up with a plan."

"Will do. See you next week, Edward."

I hung up the phone and sat back in the conference room I'd taken over. I had no idea how we were going to shuffle the work and get both tasks completed, even with all the success we'd have here.

Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, I stood up, stretched my arms overhead, and decided to grab a cup of coffee. A quick glance at the clock told me I had about twenty minutes before the monthly roundtable call, and I was definitely going to need some caffeine to make it through that.

~*WS*~

The morning air was brisk, and it immediately gave me a boost. I knew from Mike, that there was a small coffee shop about two blocks away. I was glad I'd thrown my scarf around my neck that morning. It was colder than I'd expected.

By the time I made it to the shop, I could feel the cold snaking its way through my jacket. The warmth and rich smell of coffee enveloped me the minute I stepped inside. Damn, it felt good.

After placing my order, I stepped to the side and waited. I watched as people bustled in and out, placing their orders with the baristas who moved with practiced efficiency.

"Americano for Edward."

I glanced over and saw a young man holding my drink and gratefully took it with a smile and a thanks.

I moved to the sidebar and opened a packet of sugar and sprinkled it into my cup. I didn't usually add sugar, but after watching Bella _ooh and ahh _over hers last night, I felt compelled to give it a shot. After a blow or two, I took a small sip and smiled. It was good.

I couldn't help but smile as I thought about our dinner the night before. It had gone from awkward to good to great to awkward then hopeful. I still couldn't believe the way I'd practically begged her to hang out with me today. It was so unlike me, and yet, for whatever reason, I was strangely unbothered by it. If I was honest with myself I wasn't really ready to examine why I felt the way I did and therefore was perfectly content to let things lie. With a shake of my head, I made my way back to the office.

I didn't get a chance to check my email again before my next meeting. I had sent Bella a note early that morning, checking in and asking what she'd like to do later. I hadn't heard back from her. Part of me worried she might change her mind, but I decided not to dwell. I had never been one to dwell, and I wasn't going to start now.

~*WS*~

The remainder of the afternoon was spent on the phone with other research directors and our boss, Graham. I had invited Mike to join, as he and I had spent some time talking about a collaboration and information-sharing proposal we wanted to put forth. After the amazing results our two teams had, we knew the potential for others to have similar experiences was almost certain and definitely a way to leverage the synergies within the larger community.

Graham spent the better part of an hour flowing down information and doling out actions. After that, each research lead gave a status update. By the time it was my turn, I felt the doldrums of the meeting starting to take hold. I decided to breeze through my part, highlighting the work we were doing with Mike's team as an excuse to discuss our proposal.

"Based on our experience here in Seattle, it seems we need a better forum for sharing our research and leveraging each other's work. It would have taken us at least another four to five months to get the same results as Mike's team.

"With his team's help, we have moved our timeline ahead by a good couple of months. Plus, his team has been able to tap into our work, as well. It's been a win-win for everyone."

I paused for a second, waiting to see if anyone had any questions. There weren't any, but there were murmurs of excited approval. It fueled the fire that had already been burning since Mike and I had begun working our proposal.

"I'm going to turn it over to Mike Newton. He's going to share something we'd like to propose."

Mike smiled at me and jumped right in. He went over all the details, highlighting all the right parts and explaining away the potential drawbacks.

"The intent, of course, would be to share the highlights without adding more red tape to our often documentation-heavy jobs. Overall, we think it will be a great platform to bridge the geographical divide between all the sites," he explained.

When he wrapped up, I felt a pulse of excitement. It had been a while since I'd had something exciting to really sink my teeth in and own. And more importantly, I felt like I was finally doing my job as the research leader for the division.

Mentoring people had always been something I was passionate about, and while I was fully connected with my team I rarely felt like I had the chance to make a real difference in their work.

"And just to be clear, Mike has offered to set up the first call and host it, explaining to the research teams everything he's just explained to you. We're simply looking for your approval and buy-in," I said.

The line was silent before Graham finally stepped in. "It sounds like a great plan. Well-thought out. I look forward to hearing about any synergies or challenges you come across. You have my full support, and if you need specific resources above and beyond those already at your disposal, just ask."

The others murmured their approvals and offered praise for the initiative Mike had taken. We thanked them, both eager to get off the call.

"That was awesome!" Mike said enthusiastically after we'd wrapped things up. "I can't believe they just accepted it."

I laughed. "Looks like you've got a task on your plate," I said as I stood to leave his office. As I got to the door, I turned. "Good work, Mike."

He beamed; it felt good.

~*WS*~

Still riding the high the positive reception the proposal had received, I opened my email to see a note from Bella.

_Hey Edward,_

_Hope today has been a good one. It's been a long day, and I'm only just now sitting down at my computer. The exams I had to administer were long, and unfortunately, I had a situation where one of my students was caught cheating. Needless to say, it's been tough._

_I know you proposed dinner at Ginger, but I don't think I have it in me tonight. I hope you understand. Perhaps we can get together at some point this weekend. _

_Sorry,_

_Bella._

I stared at her email, feeling profoundly disappointed. I felt bad that she'd had a rough day, but the selfish part of me just wanted to wallow in the fact I wasn't going to see her.

I clicked reply and was going to offer my sympathy and shoot for maybe doing something over the weekend, like she'd suggested. But then I changed my mind.

_Bella,_

_That sucks. I can't imagine how difficult and disappointing that must have been for you. _

I paused, my fingers tapping the keys indecisively.

_With that said, I'd like to cheer you up. It's been a great day here at the lab, and if you're game, maybe we can celebrate over milkshakes or a glass of wine or something. Sounds like you could use a little boost._

_I'm game if you are. _

_Edward_

I read over the email twice before I finally clicked send. I had no idea how she'd receive it; I hoped well. I waited a few minutes, hoping to get an immediate response. When nothing came, I quickly tried to work through my inbox. Twenty minutes passed, and there was still no word from her.

I tried to ignore the renewed disappointment I felt, but it was there, fully present and gnawing at me. I started second guessing myself. Had I made a mistake in sending that email? Had I pushed her? There was certainly nothing compelling her to entertain me, celebrate with me, but I realized with a strange sort of clarity that I wanted her to. I wanted to spend time with her, and I wanted her to feel the same.

Another fifteen minutes passed with no word from her. Feeling more frustrated and dejected than I cared to admit, I shut down my laptop, packed it in my bag, and put on my coat.

I had just slung my bag over my shoulder when my phone buzzed. I glanced at it and swallowed nervously.

_Bella._

* * *

><p><em>Thanks so much for all the love. I didn't get a chance to respond to reviews, as I was in the car most of the day. I love hearing your thoughts! <em>


	13. Chapter 13: Winter Wonderland

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Visual Prompt: Scene of a Winter Wonderland - http:/ fairground . bibico . co . uk/tag/living-christmas-tree/**

* * *

><p><em>I had just slung my bag over my shoulder when my phone buzzed. I glanced at it and swallowed nervously.<em>

_Bella._

The phone rang two more times before my thumb caught up with my brain, and I actually managed to answer it. I couldn't believe she was calling.

"Hello?" I said, my voice coming out a little gritty. I attributed it to the sudden onset of nerves.

"Edward?" She didn't wait for me to respond before she jumped right in. It's Bella," she said, her voice the same soft, sexy I had already grown fond of.

"Hey, Bella."

There was a slight pause, and before it became awkward I decided to go for broke. I'd already put myself out there last night and then again in the email I'd just sent.

"So, is it gonna be ice cream or wine?" I asked with a little laugh, hoping she'd catch on to my playful – hopeful – mood.

She didn't disappoint. "Ice cream. Definitely."

My heart raced, and I fist pumped in the air. Literally. Part of me wanted to question her sincerity, but I decided to go with it. If she called me, she was obviously serious.

"Awesome. I can meet you somewhere or pick you up. Whatever is easiest for you."

I had no idea where I was going to take her, but I could always ask Mike or someone else at the office for some suggestions. It was a Friday night and close to Christmas. There were bound to be some good options.

My mind naturally wondered if this was a date, but like before, I didn't dwell. It didn't really matter what it was. She wanted to be cheered up, and I was intent on doing that.

"Um... would it be too much trouble to pick me up? Parking is usually a nightmare, and it would probably be easier to go in one car…" she said, her voice trailing off.

"No problem." I glanced at the clock on the wall and saw it was slightly after five. I wanted to change into a pair of jeans and something a little more casual. "How about I pick you up around six thirty? Does that give you enough time to get home and get ready?"

"Yep. I'm almost home anyway, so that would be fine."

"Perfect," I said. We wrapped up the call quickly after I got her address.

When I hung up, I immediately grabbed my bag and walked down to Mike's office. He was nowhere to be seen. I scanned the row of offices and saw a light on at the end of the hall. I made my way down the aisle and poked my head in one of the offices.

"Hey, Irina," I said. "Got a minute?"

She looked up and smiled. "Sure. What's up?"

"A friend of mine and I are going to grab some dinner and ice cream. Any suggestions for where we should go? Someplace fun, maybe a little festive?" I wanted to make this a fun night. It had been a great week – on so many levels – and I just wanted to be out and about.

She quirked her eyebrows mischievously. "Is this with a girl?" she asked playfully, her slight Russian accent coming out a little thicker than I'd heard it before.

I felt my face heat up and looked down for a second. "Um, yeah. A friend… an old girlfriend, actually."

"I see," she said with a grin. "In that case, take her down to Pacific Place. It's a huge mall, and they have it all decorated for Christmas. It's like a mini-winter wonderland with snow-covered trees, snowdrifts, and even a "snow shower" several different times throughout the evening.

"Plus, they've set up an indoor skating rink in the atrium, complete with hot chocolate and everything. My husband and I go there every year. It's a great place for a date."

"Sounds perfect," I said, my mind fixating on the word date and the fact I'd admitted Bella was my old girlfriend. It was stupid to be weird about it. It was the truth. She was, and regardless whether this was an official date, I was going to show her a good time.

I thanked her and quickly made my way out of the building.

~*WS*~

I scanned the addresses, glancing at the address I'd written on the piece of paper from my office. When I saw her house, I quickly pulled into the driveway. Bella had described her house perfectly. It was small and cottage-like, decorated with white lights and a giant wreath on the front door. From the little bit I'd learned about her since I'd arrived, it seemed to be a perfect fit.

The minute I'd turned onto her street my stomach had started twisting, but it was more excitement and anticipation than nerves. I'd done some thinking when I'd gotten to my hotel. The past few nights I'd spent with her had definitely made an impact. Everything about her was familiar and good, but I knew there was more to her beyond school and work. There were relationships, friends and family, and countless stories that had made her who she was. I found myself longing to know the real her.

It was strange how in just a couple of days she had become a new part of my life. I didn't want to think about what would happen when I returned to Princeton. That thought seemed a bit too deep for whatever it was we were doing, which was certainly too new to define. And as far as I knew, it was only ice cream for her.

I made my way up to the front door and knocked. She answered almost immediately, and the guy in me reacted just as quickly. In tight jeans and a dark blue sweater that sort of wrapped around her waist and highlighted her soft curves, her hair long and flowing, and a megawatt smile, she was a vision. Absolutely stunning.

"Hey," she said, opening the door wide enough for me to walk in.

I licked my lips – not in a salacious, I want to jump your bones kind of way (although if I let my mind go to far I absolutely might), but in a how the hell am I going to get through this evening with her looking like that sort of way – and said, "Hey."

"Just give me a second to get my jacket and bag," she said as she walked into the living room.

I followed her and allowed myself a minute to just soak in the surroundings. This was her space. Simply decorated, it gave off a very warm, cozy feeling. It fit her, much like the outside of her house had.

"I like your house." _Lame_.

She glanced over her shoulder, brushing her hair out of her face, and smiled. "Thanks. I sort of love it here. I found this place right after I moved Seattle, and it was love at first sight. It's small, but it works."

My eyes scanned the room as I nodded; she was right. It definitely worked. She looked good here.

"So, where are we going?" she said as she turned and walked toward me, her bag in hand.

"It's a surprise."

She grinned. "I love surprises."

"I know." And I did. She was a sucker for them, always had been.

Her tinkling laughter filled the room, and I knew this night was somehow going to change everything.

* * *

><p>I've taken some liberties with the details of this location. To my knowledge there isn't an indoor skating rink, but for whatever reason, I wanted there to be one. So, voila! There is!<p>

Thanks for bearing with my lack of review replies. My time has been super limited with family stuff. I'm heading back home tomorrow, but until after Christmas, updates will be as I can get a few free minutes.

Can't wait to hear what you think!


	14. Chapter 14: Break

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Visual Prompt: Break**

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><p>We walked through the mall, admiring the window decorations and the festive atmosphere. It was relaxed and easy, exactly what I'd been hoping for and what I suspected Bella needed.<p>

Neither of us felt the need to talk, and when we did, it was to point out something funny or cool in one of the windows, or even an elf or two guiding the way toward the place I was taking us.

As we rounded the bend, the path opened up into a large, open space. An indoor ice rink sat on the far side, Santa's workshop to the left, and a little café to the right. Fake snow was raining down from some unseen place, making it feel like we were at the North Pole. Faux snow dusted every surface, white lights twinkled all around, and Christmas music played softly in the background. It was the perfect winter wonderland, and the thought of getting hot chocolate or maybe even ice-skating with her sent a thrill right through me.

"Wow!" Bella said, her mouth forming a perfect O. "I've heard about this place but have never been here. It's absolutely beautiful."

Her voice was filled with awe, and I knew I'd made the right choice. Inside I felt like a million bucks, and I definitely owed Irina coffee and donuts on Monday morning.

"It is pretty amazing isn't it," I said. "What looks good? Do you want to ice skate or get some hot chocolate?"

I scanned the area as she glanced from place to place. When she looked back at me, I smiled. She had a look of pure contentment on her face – her lips were curled in a soft smile, her eyes were sparkling, and her cheeks had an adorable pink hue to them.

"You up for some ice skating?" she asked playfully with the barest hint of challenge.

Something about the thought of ice skating with her made me smile. We'd only done it once when we were dating, but I remembered we'd had a great time… on and off the rink later than night. "I'm up for it," I said, and then sarcastically added, "If you think you can keep up."

She smirked at me, her right eyebrow rising in response. "Oh, you are _so_ on."

With the gauntlet thrown, we worked our way through the crowded arena, maneuvering around the throngs people in coats and laden with shopping bags. When we got to the ticket counter I paid our admission, we got our skates, and sat to put them on. The whole thing felt so date-like, and I realized we were pretty much on one.

I was definitely okay with that.

I looked over at her, feeling that now very familiar buzz when I saw her smiling at me. Her eyes had always been so expressive, and tonight was no exception. I took in the gentle slope of her nose, the way her black glasses sat perfectly in place, and marveled at how pretty she was. I knew if I sat there, staring, she'd officially think I was insane, so with some reluctance, I nudged her playfully.

"You ready to go down, Dr. Swan?"

She grinned a little wider. "The question is, Dr. Cullen" she said as she stood up and stepped in front of me all cocky and confident, "Are _you_ ready?"

Good lord, she was sexy when she was like that.

I rose to the challenge. Literally. "Bring it, baby."

Together we waddled to the edge of the rink. Tentatively, she stepped onto the ice, holding onto the side until she was sure she had solid footing. Well, as solid as one could have on a giant patch of ice.

She glided a bit to the side and waited for me. The minute my blade touched the ice, my body jerked forward. I reached for the railing but couldn't get a good grip and fell flat on my butt. I landed with a thud. I sat there, stunned, as cold moisture seeped into my jeans.

Well damn, I thought as I scrambled to get up. I looked over at Bella, who was nearly doubled over in laughter.

"Are. You. Okay?" she asked, gasping between bursts of laughter.

I rolled my eyes, my own cheeks warm with embarrassment. "All part of my grand plan," I said. I glided over to her, skidding to a stop.

She rolled her eyes. "You are about to get schooled, sir." And with that she skated off. I watched her glide effortlessly across he glistening ice and just laughted. By the time she'd made a full lap, I finally fell in step beside her.

We spent the next hour skating and being playful. We practiced spinning and jumping – both of which landed me on my ass and left her laughing mercilessly –skating backward and racing – which I totally won. It was easy and carefree and perfect.

Bella glided up next to me, her body stumbling forward into mine. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around her. She laughed, and when her eyes met mine it was like everything around us stopped. The shouts of parents calling their kids, the squeals of delight from the kids, and the blaring music sort of just… disappeared, muted in the way it does when the world just falls away. All I could think was how lucky I was to be standing there with such an amazing, beautiful woman. Her cheeks were flushed, and her chest was moving up and down as she tried to catch her breath. Every instinct inside me said to kiss her, to see if her glossy, pink lips were as soft as they looked, as soft as I remembered.

Her top teeth gently sank into her bottom lip, and slowly, not wanting to ruin the moment, I lifted my gloved hand and tenderly tugged down on her chin. Her mouth opened just slightly, and I could swear I heard her breath catch. My eyes flicked to hers and then back to her lips, and ever so slowly I leaned forward and touched my lips against hers.

Warm. Soft. Perfect.

Exactly how I remembered.

My mind was in overdrive.

I didn't linger, just smiled, made sure she was steady, grabbed her hand and slowly pushed off. My heart was pounding like I'd won the Super Bowl. For once I didn't try to analyze every thought or feeling. I just let myself relish and remember the way her eyes had widened, her cheeks had lifted just slightly in an almost grin, and her lips had pursed in what I hoped was tingly remembrance.

We made another two laps around the rink before I had the courage to peek at her out of the corner of my eye. She didn't seem upset. In fact she looked happy, content. Her shoulders were relaxed, and she was smiling softly.

And hot damn if that didn't get _my_ heart racing.

"You want to take a break and get some hot chocolate?" I asked.

She bit her lip, almost shyly but in what I hoped was a sort of coy gesture instead, and nodded.

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><p>I hope everyone had a lovely holiday season! Thanks for your patience as I spent time with my family. I should be back to regular updates now!<p>

The lovely Jaime Arkin made me a lovely banner for this story. It's on my profile page. Check it out!


	15. Chapter 15: Purge

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Purge**

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><p><em>She bit her lip, almost shyly but in what I hoped was a sort of coy gesture instead, and nodded.<em>

With my fingers wrapped firmly around the bend of her elbow, I helped her off the ice. I ignored the irony of the moment; yes, it was me who'd fallen getting on the ice, but I wasn't going to pass up a chance to stay connected to her. When she was firmly planted on solid ground, I quickly followed, and together we waddled back to the storage locker I'd rented for our shoes.

We sat side by side, and to an outsider, everything about the moment screamed awkward first date – the silence, the focused attention on something as inconsequential as removing our skates. For whatever reason, though, it didn't feel that way. It was like we'd been doing it forever, and we were comfortable enough in the silence that we didn't need to fill it. At least that's what I told myself.

I glanced at her. She seemed just as at ease as she had on the ice rink, and I hoped it would continue when we were sitting across from each other drinking hot chocolate and talking.

When she was finished putting her shoes back on, she pressed her hands to the tops of her thighs, butt semi-lifted off the bench, and looked at me and smiled. "Ready."

I nodded. "Well, let's go then."

Together, we walked through the crowd of people waiting for their chance to get on the ice, over to the little café. We stood in line, our bodies close but not touching, talking and laughing about our time in the rink.

When she laughed about my entre onto the ice, I felt warm all over. Who would have thought falling on my ass could make me feel so good? Bella's hand brushed mine, and I immediately reached for hers. Our fingers tangled easily, without pretense, and just like on the ice, it felt… right.

Silence fell between us, and I thought about letting go. I didn't want to, but I definitely didn't want to return to the awkwardness we'd shared early on. At some point I knew we'd have to discuss what was happening between us, what _had_ happened between us, but I really wasn't sure when that would be.

I stepped up to the window, and the bored young man in an elf hat with a dangling bell said flatly, "Welcome to the Peppermint Hut. What special treat can I get for you this holiday season?"

I fought to contain my grimace-grin, and I could tell from the crinkles at the corners of Bella's eyes she was doing the same. "Uh, yeah, we'll have two hot chocolates, please."

"Do you want whipped cream and cinnamon on top?"

I looked at Bella. She nodded. "Definitely."

"What she said." As soon as the words were out of my mouth I froze. I didn't look at Bella; I just kept my eyes on the bored guy in front of me until I heard her snickering behind me.

"What she said," she muttered. "Classic."

I glanced over my shoulder. "Oh, hush," I said. "You know what I meant."

"I know what you meant, and I know what you said."

I was about to reply when the man cleared his throat. I turned, grabbed the two cups from him, and passed one to Bella.

"Thanks," I said, handing him a ten-dollar bill. "Merry Christmas."

"What he said," Bella deadpanned as she moved to the end of the counter and grabbed a stir stick.

She glanced at me, a smug grin on her face, and I just rolled my eyes, grateful we were being playful and silly with a hint of something more just boiling under the surface.

There weren't any tables, so we just walked. We braved the crowd near Santa's Workshop and watched the kids laughing and crying as they sat on Santa's lap. I took in all the details of the place, and thought for the second or third time that they'd really done this place up right. There were brightly wrapped boxes topped with sparkly bows, fluffy cotton decorated with glitter that looked like glistening snow, flying airplanes, and chugging trains winding around the large track running the full gamut of the workshop.

When we tired of all the excitement, we slowly made our way back through the mall.

"Thanks for coming with me, Bella. This has been a lot of fun," I said.

She stopped, and I did, too. "Me, too. Thanks for dragging me out here against my will."

"Um, I'm pretty sure you came willingly," I teased.

"Well, I couldn't let you stay in Seattle on a Friday night all by yourself, now could I?"

I looked down, feeling that first hint of insecurity and hoping she was still being playful. I rubbed my hand across the back of my neck, unsure what to say to that. I was grateful she was with me. I had enjoyed every minute – except for the awkward ones and even those weren't terrible – with her, but I didn't want her to feel obligated.

"I guess I have sort of been monopolizing your time, huh?"

"Oh, stop. I didn't mean it that way. Trust me, if I had something else I wanted to do, I would. I've enjoyed spending time with you."

She had?

"You have?" I asked, knowing I sounded overly eager and probably a bit ridiculous.

She laughed. "Well, yeah."

I didn't say anything, and her eyebrow rose expectantly. "Right. Me, too."

"Like that wasn't forced," she said and started walking. I couldn't quite tell how she was feeling by her tone of voice, but her words hit me hard in the chest. I knew one thing for sure – I wasn't about to let her walk away thinking the feeling wasn't _very_ mutual.

I quickly caught up to her and put my hand on her arm. She stopped and looked at me, a cautious smile playing at the corners of her lips.

"I meant what I said, Bella. These last few days have been… great. Unexpected, but really great."

The expression on her face shifted – happy, confused, and then blank. I wasn't sure what to make of it, but I knew I had all these feelings inside and was struggling to make sense of them. Perhaps she did, too.

I had no idea how to articulate the flurry of thoughts rapidly sifting through my mind. I ran my fingers through my hair, took a deep breath, and decide to attempt to purge any awkwardness that still existed between us.

"I had no idea you still lived here when I got on that plane on Sunday, but these last few days with you have been nothing short of amazing. It's been a long time since I've felt even close to this happy." I paused and waited a second to see if she would say anything.

She didn't. She looked tense and unsure. I hated it.

"I have no idea how you feel, about me, about any of this," I said, waving my hand between us. "All I know is that I can't stop thinking about you."

There. It was out there, and I decided it was time to stop. I knew I could probably say more, but her posture had started to close off, and that wasn't a good sign. She looked down at her restlessly shifting.

When she looked up, I felt my stomach tense. Her eyes were red rimmed, like she'd been fighting tears. I wanted to take back everything I'd said, but it was all out there, smothering us like a thick, wet blanket.

"I'm not really sure what to say, Edward."

"You don't have to say anything. I shouldn't have dumped that on you, put you on the spot like that. Why don't I go ahead-"

The overhead speaker chimed. "Ladies and Gentleman, it's eight-forty-five, and the mall will be closing shortly. Please finalize your purchased and make your way to the nearest exit. Thank you for shopping with us."

Neither of us spoke as we slowly walked to the exit.

We didn't speak the thirty minutes it took to get to her house, and instead, allowed the gentle hum of Christmas music to fill the quiet. It was probably the worst half hour of my life. The tension in the car was stifling.

When I pulled into her driveway, I put the car in park and just sat there, desperately trying to figure out what I could say to erase the last hour.

I turned my body and looked at her. She looked just as miserable as I felt.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

She nodded her head and looked at me, her eyes serious and sad.

"Look, Edward, I'll be honest. These last few days have great, so much fun, but I'm not really sure what we're doing." I could read the confusion and hurt in her eyes.

"Hearing you say you can't stop thinking about me feels amazing, but I can't reconcile it with the man who left me all those years ago.

"I mean, don't get the wrong idea. I haven't been pining after you or anything, but it sucked. You broke my heart when you left without really giving me a chance to speak my piece."

In the last couple of days I'd rehashed that scene several times, but it had never occurred to me she would feel that way. My breaking up with her and subsequent departure felt completely logical to me. In my mind it was the only rational decision. We were going to be at different schools, on opposite sides of the country. It just didn't make sense to try to stick it out.

Of course, if I was completely honest with myself, there was more to it than that. I wanted to see what else was out there. Having grown up in a small town, in a tight knit family, I'd always felt a little stifled. It never seemed my decisions were my own, and while UW had been great, I knew there was so much more out there to see and do. I wanted to sow my proverbial oats.

And I had, just not in the "Guys Gone Wild" sort of way. All my decisions were measured and rational, but they were mine – made without anyone else's interference.

When the overhead light flooded the car, I realized I hadn't acknowledged what she'd said. I decided to be honest.

"I honestly never thought of it that way, Bella, but I can see what you mean. Could we," I paused, sighing, "maybe talk this over some more? I'm sure there are things we both have to say."

She hesitated then nodded. "Okay."

I reached for the handle on the door, but the grip of her fingers on my forearm stopped me.

"Not tonight."

I swallowed, disappointment choking me. "Okay. When would be a good time for you?"

"How about Sunday evening?"

A full day and a half away. That seemed like a lifetime.

"Okay," I said, fighting hard to hide the dismay in my voice. "Where?"

She thought for a second. "How about you come here? For dinner?"

The idea of entering her home again, eating dinner at her table, felt strangely hopeful.

"I'll be there."

She nodded. "Thank you again for a great time tonight, Edward. Even with all this… heaviness."

"It was my pleasure, Bella."

She opened the car door and was just about to climb out when she stopped and looked at me.

"Oh, and you still owe me ice cream."


	16. Chapter 16: Annoyed

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Thanks to ejsantry for "Red." Hehe She even gave me a little backstory. Love it!

**Word Prompt: Annoyed**

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><p>I threw my pen down and huffed in frustration. The latest report from the Princeton team had come in overnight, and to say I was annoyed would be an understatement. I was irritated and frustrated and plain disgruntled by the lack of progress the team had made. I didn't blame them, per se, but I expected more from them. Come Monday, I was going to have to have a long conversation with them.<p>

With a groan, I stood up and walked over to the window of the conference room. The sky was dark and grey, clouds hung heavy and low, and I could see the beginning splatters of rain on the glass. It was dreary out, and it matched my mood perfectly.

I tried to shrug off the foulness of my mood, but I knew it wasn't going anywhere. Ever since I'd left Bella's driveway the night before, I had been in a funk. It was my own fault; I knew that, but it didn't change how I felt.

I pressed my forehead against the cool glass and took a deep, cleansing breath. I needed to pull myself together. I was acting irrationally. While our evening out had gone down hill, it didn't end all bad. Her little reminder about me still owing her ice cream at least let me know there was still a chance. A chance at what I wasn't sure, but nothing was final. That much I knew for sure.

A knock at the door pulled my attention back to the present. I turned and saw Steve standing there, shifting anxiously.

"What's up, Steve?"

"I gather you got the report from back home?"

I nodded. "Yep." I knew my short reply was enough to signal my displeasure.

"So, I wanted to attempt to explain why so little progress has been made, if you'll give me the chance." The hesitance in his voice gave me pause. He was never like that with me, and I had always been known for my fairness. I wasn't sure what had caused that level of uncertainty, but it was worth finding out.

"I'm all ears," I said, moving back to the table and motioning for him to take a seat.

He spent the next hour explaining all the nuances of the problem, the attempts the team had made to fix things, and why they hadn't contacted me or anyone else. In truth, in the grand scheme of things it wasn't a major setback, a mere hiccup in the timeline. What frustrated me, however, was how closed off the team got. It wasn't like them.

We spent a bit longer working out a plan to get back on track, and I asked him to call the team together for a meeting on Monday morning. Since we were on the West Coast, we could catch them early in their workday, without losing time on the work being done in Seattle.

"Thanks, Edward. I appreciate you giving me the chance to explain," he said, genuinely relieved.

I rose and patted him on the back as he made his way to the door. "Steve, you know I have an open door policy. I never want you or anyone else to feel like they can't come to me, especially about something like this. And if I'm doing something to make you or anyone else feel that way, you need to tell me."

"Nothing like that. I'll get the meeting set up, and we'll get back on track."

With that, he was gone. I sat back down and turned my attention to my computer. I had managed to keep my mind off Bella most of the day, but it was in the silence when it drifted.

After I'd left her house, I had driven aimlessly, lost in thought. When she said I hadn't really given her a say in the breakup, it had caught me off guard. It never occurred to me she would feel that way. Even from my current vantage point, it was the most logical decision and one I still don't regret… well, not fully. But in hindsight, I clearly could have handled things differently. No, I definitely should have. I thought back to that night and allowed the whole scene to unfold before me.

"_I'm thinking Chinese, tonight. What do you think?" Bella said._

_I stood there, my head buried in the fridge, trying to figure out what I was going to do. Graduation was less than two weeks away, and I still had no idea how Bella and I were going to make the long distance thing work. With her off to USC and me to MIT, it just didn't seem realistic to think we were actually going to make it. _

"_Red? Did you hear me?" Bella asked, knocking on the refrigerator door and peeking her head over to look at me._

_I popped my head out and looked at her. "What?" I asked, caught off guard._

"_Where are you tonight?" she asked, laughing. "You've been lost in that head of yours since you got here." She reached out and brushed a lock of my hair from my forehead; something about the gesture made my chest ache._

"_Um… I've just got a lot on my mind." I knew my response was lackluster at best, but I couldn't very well tell her what I really had been thinking. _

"_Right," she said, dragging it out. "Well, I was saying, I thinking we should order Chinese. You okay with that?"_

_I scrubbed my hands over my face. "Sure. Sounds great."_

_She gave me a weird look but walked away to call in our order._

_By the time dinner came and we'd eaten every last speck of rice, the uncertainty in my mind had only grown. I thought about all the things I'd wanted for myself since I was younger – freedom, the chance to do my own thing, to focus and really be successful – and the prospect of having all of that at MIT, of starting fresh with no attachments, was right at my fingertips. _

_I watched Bella move effortlessly around her almost bare apartment. She was confident and sure, living on the brink of the same new excitement I was. The thought of trying to keep what we had going while three thousand miles apart was hard to imagine._

"_Edward?"_

"_What?" I snapped, instantly regretting my tone._

"_Seriously, what is going on with you? It's like I'm in this room all by myself." The playfulness from earlier had been replaced with genuine concern. The little frown that formed on her face was like another nail in the coffin. _

"_Sorry," I said, running my hand through my hair and resting it on the back of my neck. "I've got a lot on my mind, and I'm just trying to figure out the best course of action."_

"_Okay," she said slowly. "Anything I can help with?" She tugged my hand from my neck and tangled her fingers with mine. That same ache in my chest niggled, but I ignored it._

"_Not exactly."_

_We sat there in silence. Awkward silence. Something that was most definitely unfamiliar to us, and it became increasingly clear I needed to get out of there._

"_Look, I'm gonna take off." I stood up, my fingers still wrapped around hers. I glanced down at them and slowly pulled my hand back and dropped it by my side._

_Hurt and confusion marred her pretty face. I didn't like that. _

"_Did I do something to upset you, Red? If I did, I'm sorry," she said, her voice and body rising in unison._

"_No. It's not you; it's me." As soon as the words were out, I realized how they sounded._

_Cliché._

_And completely true._

"_What?"_

"_Just forget it. Can we talk about this some other time?" I asked, desperate to get out of there, to put some distance between us while I tried to figure out what the hell I was actually thinking._

"_Uh no," she snapped. "Are you cheating on me?" she asked, her voice incredulous with disbelief._

"_Absolutely not!" I snapped back. _

"_Then what is it? What has you all twisted up and acting so damn weird?" _

_Without thinking, without pausing, I just blurted it out. "I think we should break up."_

_She took a step back, visibly caught off guard and as if I'd punched her in the gut. "What?"_

_I ran my hand through my hair again, frustrated, and took a deep breath. "I've been thinking about what happens after graduation, and I think we both need to start fresh. I mean, we're going to be across the country from each other, making new friends and trying to find our way all over again. It just doesn't make sense to have anything holding us back, you know?"_

_Her jaw dropped open and closed a couple of times, and tears welled in her eyes. "And you think I'm going to hold you back?"_

"_I don't know!" I said, throwing my arms up in frustration. "I just know what's in my head and what feels right."_

_I watched the confusion and sadness melt away as her back stiffened and her face went blank. "Well, it looks like you've made up your mind."_

"_Don't be like, B," I said, reaching out to her. _

_Her face twisted and her eyes glinted in anger. "Don't. Just. Don't." She took a step back. "I think it's time you left," she said, walking over to the door and opening it._

_I blew out a frustrated breath. That was not how I had imagined this whole thing going. I never wanted to hurt her. _

"_Come on, Bella, just…"_

"_Just go, Edward." _

I'd left her apartment that night and that was it. We hadn't spoken since. She had all my things packed up and asked one of our good friends to deliver them to my apartment.

I was such an idiot. Of course, I hadn't given her a chance to talk it out. I was so in my head, so desperate to see what was out there in the "real" world that I hadn't given the person who meant the most to me a chance to make it work. I had written us off as nothing more than a fun college romance, even though my feelings for Bella were much stronger than that.

Damn.

I had no idea how dinner at her place was going to go. I had no idea what a good outcome looked like or even how things could really work, because in essence we were in the exact same situation as we were before. Three thousand miles apart.

Regardless, the last few days with her had awakened something long dormant inside me: the willingness to take risks in my personal life. Being with Victoria had been easy. She was predictable; I knew what to expect and how to handle things when she flew off the handle. Being with Bella had opened my eyes to what could be. She was funny, smart, and beautiful – the perfect trio – and even though I didn't really have her, I wasn't ready to let her go.

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><p>Thanks for your patience. I was all sorts of blah and the words wouldn't come yesterday. Hopefully the answers helped a bit.<p>

Winter Song has been nominated for _fic of the week_ over at TLS! ::cue squeals of excitement:: There are some lovely stories over there. Go check it out, and if you feel so inclined, I'd love your vote! Thank you all so much for the lovely support you have given me and this story. It's been fun!

http: / www . tehlemonadestand . blogspot . com/


	17. Chapter 17: Dismissive

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Dismissive**

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><p>I pulled into her driveway, and my stomach twisted for what felt like the hundredth time today. I had spent part of the morning at the office, checking in on experiments and the team, and the afternoon dwelling on how the evening would go.<p>

In the time since I'd left her house on Friday evening, I had thought through our breakup several time and realized I had some explaining to do. I had given her some clue as to my thought process, but it seemed inadequate in light of where we were at this point in our friendship. Relationship. I wasn't even sure what to call us.

I also knew I had some listening to do. It wouldn't be easy, of that I was sure. Just remembering the look on her face the night we broke was enough to make me wince. At the very least I owed her the chance to tell me what I'd done to her, how I'd hurt her. In reality, I owed her more than that.

The curtain moved, and I saw the shadow of her face and knew it was time to quit dawdling. With the car turned off, I grabbed the bottle of wine and bag of ice cream I'd brought and got out.

With a heaviness in my gut, I climbed the stairs to her front porch and knocked. The door opened almost instantly, and there she was. Beautiful and smiling shyly.

"Hey," I said. I wanted to lean forward and pull her into a hug or brush my lips against hers, but I knew we were nowhere near that point. Not anymore.

"Come on in," she said casually and stepped aside so I could enter.

I had already been to her place once, but it felt different somehow. Maybe because we were going to be there for the duration of the evening but probably more realistically, because we were going to dig into our past, and it would no doubt be painful.

I walked in and turned, holding out my offerings.

"What's this?" she asked, taking the paper bag and wine.

I grinned. "Ice cream."

She laughed, and it was gorgeous. "You think this counts?" she asked in that soft, gravelly voice of hers.

I shrugged playfully. "It was worth a try, wasn't it?"

"Ha!" she laughed again and walked into kitchen. With that simple noise, it felt like some of the weird tension dissipated and I could finally breathe.

The place smelled great, rich and spicy. "It smells great in here."

She glanced over her shoulder, her hair swishing across her back. "We're having enchiladas. I hope that's okay."

"Sounds amazing," I said just as my stomach grumbled. "Can I help with anything?"

She pointed at the wine. "It's pretty much ready, but maybe open the wine?"

I nodded and got to it. She told me where I could find the glasses and corkscrew. We worked in easy silence, both focused on the tasks before us. In many ways it was like old times, the easy companionship of preparing meals together. Sometimes it had been quiet, much like tonight, and others it had been playful – either way it had always been easy.

I handed her a glass of wine. She smiled and took it with a simple thanks. She asked about my day and I told her about the progress and setbacks the team had made over the last few days as I watched her finish up the salad and stir the rice one last time before the time on the oven went off.

"Sounds frustrating," she said as she pulled the dish from the oven. My stomach rumbled at the sight of bubbling cheese and the smell of garlic, pepper, and whatever other goodness was in there.

All coherent thought left my head. It had been a long time since I'd had a real home cooked meal. Vic and I had existed on takeout and frozen dinners, because neither of our schedules lent themselves to actual cooking. "Good lord that smells amazing, Bella," I said as my mouth practically watered.

She waved her hand dismissively. "It's nothing, really. My mom and I used to make these every Sunday, so it feels like second nature."

"Well, you have no idea how long it's been since I've actually had something homemade like this."

She looked at me strangely but didn't question it. There would be plenty of time for delving into the details of our lives later.

Together we plated our food, grabbed our wine, and sat at the bar. It was strange sitting beside her instead of looking at her head on, but I was sort of glad for it. Even though things had been easy and relaxed, there was still something bubbling under the surface – tension, unanswered questions, and worst of all, hurt.

I glanced at her and saw her jaw tighten and relax a few times. I knew that meant she was nervous, and I was surprised she had done such a good job at hiding it. On the other hand it was sort of a relief that I wasn't the only one feeling that way.

I felt like I needed to say something, do something to make it go away, but I knew time and the truth were the only things that could erase or, at the very least, heal, the damage I'd inflicted on her. On us.

I moved my left hand and gently brushed it against the side of hers. She looked at me, surprised, before her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink and her eyes flicked downward. "Bella." I paused until she looked back at me. The intensity, the guardedness in her eyes, almost took my breath away. There was so much to be said, so much I wanted to convey, to help her see how much this all meant to me.

"This looks amazing. Thank you for having me over." Despite the upbeat nature of my comment, the implication of what it meant for her to have opened herself and her home to me hung heavy in the air.

She didn't say anything at first but then I felt her hand shift ever so slightly to rest a little more against mine.

With equal sincerity, she said, "I'm glad you're here, Edward."

And with those five words, she conveyed more than a full dissertation ever could.

_She was willing to listen._

_There was a chance._

_A chance for forgiveness, for a fresh start, for… us._

As we dug into the food on our plates, we talked and laughed, and it felt amazing. I held nothing back. As far as I was concerned, I was an open book. If she asked, I would tell her, and where she didn't and there were gaps, I'd fill them in.

I still had no idea how we would make whatever it was between us work. Regardless of the how, I knew I wanted her in my life, somehow, some way. And unlike last time, I wouldn't make that decision alone.

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><p>Thank you so much for all the love and reviews over the last few days. You guys are great!<p>

I hope you all have a very happy, safe, and healthy NYE and New Year! See you all tomorrow... hopefully! xoxo


	18. Chapter 18: Scramble

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Thanks to jennde for the extra eyes.

**Word Prompt: Scramble**

* * *

><p>"Would you like some coffee?" she asked as she piled the dishes in the sink and turned on the water.<p>

"Sure. If you're having some, then I'll have some." I moved over to the cabinet beside her and bumped her to the side with my hip. "Let me do this."

She looked a little surprised and pushed me back. "You don't have to do the dishes. They can wait."

"I'm not going to leave you with a mess on your hands. Do you have something better you wanted to do?" Part of me was being serious. I didn't want her to have a mess to clean up after I left, but the other part – the selfish, nervous part – was stalling.

She smiled sheepishly. "Nah. I guess not."

I started the water while she grabbed the coffee grinder and the bag of beans. She moved with just as much ease as she did earlier, and my mouth watered at the smell of the fresh beans.

"Where do you get your beans?"

She glanced over her shoulder. "There's a guy at Pike's that sells them every Saturday. He roasts them the night before, and they're absolutely amazing."

"They smell great."

With the sink full, I made quick work of the dishes, scrubbing the dried bits of sauce and cheese from the plates and pan. By the time I finished, she had the coffee brewing in a cool glass contraption that reminded me of one of the beakers in chemistry class in high school.

"That's cool looking. What is it?"

She beamed. "This is my Chemex brewer," she said proudly. "I just bought it last week as a little treat for getting to the end of the semester."

"How does it work?"

She proceeded to explain how it worked like a regular pour over brewer, but the shape and the conic filter allowed more flavor and less waste to push through.

"Seriously, it makes some of the best coffee. Super pure and smooth."

"Wow. You sound like an infomercial." I laughed as she handed me my mug.

"Whatever," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'm not going to apologize for being a coffee enthusiast. If that makes me come off overeager, then so be it."

I grinned. "Well, you always were passionate about a good cup of coffee. It's nice to see that hasn't changed." I scooped a healthy dose of sugar in my cup and stirred it slowly.

I looked up to see her holding her mug between both hands. "No sugar?"

"Nope. Good coffee doesn't need it," she said matter-of-factly.

"So, I guess I just insulted your awesome coffee then, didn't I?"

"Mhmm," she said as she held the mug up to her lips and blew. I could tell by the playful glint in her eyes she wasn't serious, and I was grateful for it in light of the looming conversation.

I picked up my own mug and followed her example. As I blew on the hot liquid, the aroma – rich and sweet – filled my nose. My eyes closed, and I hummed contentedly and slowly took a sip. The hot liquid pooled on my tongue, and she was most definitely right. The coffee was amazing.

"It's good, isn't it?" she said, lifting her eyebrows as if to make a point.

"I never said it wouldn't be, silly. But yes, it's great. Really great, actually," I said, taking another long sip.

She started moving toward the living room. "Shall we?"

I nodded and scrambled to follow her.

She took a seat on one end of the couch, and I looked around, unsure where to sit. I decided we had been playful and carefree the entire night, and despite the heaviness of what we were about to discuss, I was hoping we could still be. I opted for the seat at the other end of the couch. As I gingerly sat down, I glanced at Bella. She was watching me but didn't seem upset, so I figured it was okay.

We both sat in silence, sipping our coffee. I felt the urge to speak, but didn't want her to think I was trying to control or manipulate the conversation. This was about her getting the chance to talk, to share her thoughts about our breakup, and anything else she wanted to say. But as the silence stretched on, I grew increasingly more self-conscious and uncomfortable. I was just about to say something when she stood up and walked out of the room.

I watched her walk away and felt my anxiety increase ten-fold. That wasn't a good sign. Before I could stand up and go after her, she came back in with something pink and shiny in her hand.

"It's too quiet in here," she said, popping her iPod in the dock on the entertainment center. She scrolled through the music and eventually landed on Bon Iver. It was soft and low key but provided enough background noise to fill the down space. In short, it was perfect.

She stood staring at the screen or something. I couldn't really tell what she was looking at. Her back was straight, and I could tell from the set of her shoulders she was tense. Hell, I was, too.

When she turned, her eyes met mine, and a sadness I hadn't seen since Friday night in the car blazed back at me. I shifted nervously. I hated it. I hated seeing that look on her face and in her eyes, and worst of all, knowing it was because of something I had done.

"Talk to me, Bella," I said softly, almost pleading.

Slowly, she moved over to the couch, grabbing a pillow from the armchair along the way. She settled in, and I watched her transform from the strong, confident woman I had grown to know over the past few days into the girl I'd left in her apartment that night long ago. Seeing her posture shift inward and her arms wrap tightly around the pillow – whether in nerves or protection – was heartbreaking, and if I had any doubt how much I'd hurt her, it instantly became crystal clear.

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><p>Don't flounce me. It's coming. I promise. xoxo<p> 


	19. Chapter 19: Desk

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Thanks again to jennde for sharing her eyes and her very uplifting comments.

I rarely do this, but there are two songs in this chapter, both by Bon Iver. I think they really add depth to this update. Listen at your leisure. _Come Talk to Me_ - http : / www . youtube . com / watch?v=DgbSHt0wD9Y&feature=related  
><em>You Can't Make Me Love You - <em>http : / www . youtube . com / watch?v=8MJio3s2wFI

**Word Prompt: Desk**

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><p><em>I sat, helpless, as she hugged the pillow tighter. Her eyes were downcast, and it was only after I softly called her name that she looked up. That same heartbroken expression was on her face. And I was at a loss for words.<em>

It was one thing to think you'd hurt someone, to have them hint at it in a rushed conversation. It was another to see it unfold before your eyes.

"So…" she said.

"So…" I said at the same time, both trying to break the silence, the tension. I motioned for her to go first. I still had no clue what to say. Sorry felt too trite and simple. I was sorry, but it seemed too soon to say that, especially since she had yet to say anything.

She shifted backward, away from me, and took a breath. "To be honest, Edward, I'm not really sure where to start. I hadn't thought about you or the way things ended between us for a long time. But then you showed up in my office, and it was like all the memories came rushing back."

She paused, her fingers toying absently with the fringe on the pillow. "I was telling you the truth when I said the last few days with you have been great. I haven't had this much fun in a long time, but like I said, I have no idea what we're doing.

"You don't live here. In fact, you live all the way across the country, which is exactly how things have been for the last ten years. It's the reason you broke up with me in the first place. So, other than being friends, I'm not sure what else we can be."

Her face was serious but soft, like she was genuinely confused. She made a good point. What exactly were we doing? I was still confused on that point, but I was certain that I didn't want to lose the connection we had shared or the way things had almost escalated. Everything with her was easy, or as she put it, 'fun.'

"I don't know either, Bella. I just know that I like spending time with you. I always have."

"But that's just it. It wasn't enough before. Why would it be enough now? I mean, being friends is one thing, but being… more… is something else all together."

I nodded and sighed. I had already been leaning back against the arm of the sofa, but I pushed my back a little further into it and took another deep breath.

"You're right," I said, my eyes scanning the room and landing on the cluttered, blue desk in the corner of the room. I stared at it. It was so… her, and I couldn't help but smile.

"What?" she asked.

I looked back at her. "Your desk."

"What about it?" she asked, cocking her head and glancing over at it and then back at me.

"It's cluttered."

She snorted. A little levity amongst the tension.

I turned my body to face hers and felt my chest tighten. This was the moment of truth. "What if… what if I wanted more? Wanted to try for more with you?"

Her eyes widened, and her breath whooshed out, almost like she'd been kicked in the stomach. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft, almost anguished. "But why? Why now?"

"Because I haven't felt this alive in years. Because you're an intelligent, amazing woman. Because… I think – no, I know we could be good together. We were before…" I trailed off.

"Then why did you throw it all away?" she asked, her voice rising. Her eyes were alive and vibrant. "You just walked away, Edward. You didn't give me a chance to say anything.

"It was like you had already decided before you even walked in that night. When were you planning to tell me that you were even thinking those thoughts? Would you have, if I hadn't forced the issue? Or would you have just allowed things to progress and given me some 'it's the distance' excuse later?"

I watched as her posture grew, and her face turned red, anger and hurt pouring out of her in waves.

"That's not…" I stopped. I had no idea how it would have gone or what I would have actually done. I only knew what I had done. I scrubbed my hand through my hair, frustrated that I didn't have answers to her questions.

"Do you know how much it sucked to watch you distance yourself from me that night, to shut me out? We were never like that. I mean…" Her voice caught, and tears glistened in her eyes. "I loved you. I thought we were going to get married. I mean, yeah we had some challenges to overcome, but… you didn't even give me – or us – a chance."

I watched as tears ran down her cheeks. She wasn't looking at me, and for once, I was glad. I wasn't sure I could have handled what I saw there, anyway. Her sniffles were loud, despite the soft music playing in the background.

I thought about what she'd said and replayed the scene I'd been rehashing for days in my mind. Something didn't make sense. She'd told me to leave. She had my stuff sent to Kevin's and never really gave me a chance to say anything.

I was loath to bring it up, to imply that what I had done wasn't shitty. I knew it was, but we were trying to get everything on the table.

"Bella," I said softly and waited for her to look up at me. I ran my cupped hand over my mouth and jaw and then dropped it to my lap. Should I preface what I was about to ask her or just go for it? I decided delicate was the way to go. "So, everything you've said… I guess I'm confused about one thing." I paused. She waited. "That night, you didn't _give_ me a chance to hear what you had to say. I mean you threw me out of the apartment and then had all my stuff sent to me. All this time, I just sort of thought you were mad at me and then got over it."

"Got over it? Yeah, I did. But you broke my heart, Edward," she said sternly, her eyes narrowing before shifting back into a cool, protective mask. "And as for me not fighting harder… that is what you're implying right? That I didn't fight hard enough for what we had?"

I held my hands up. "No. I'm not… look, I just, I'm sorry. If I could go back and change the way that whole night played out I would. But I can't. I told you in the car what I had been thinking that night. I was confused. Literally all over the map about the future and where I was going. Where things with us were going. I had no clue how to make it all work.

"I should have talked to you about it. I wish I would have. I don't have an excuse other than being young and naïve and dumb. I know that sucks. When I look back… the whole thing just sucked. But… I'm honestly sorry, Bella. I really am," I said, my voice firm but quiet at the end.

I sat back and blew out a breath. God, I felt like crap. The whole situation was complete and utter crap. The upbeat in the music caught my attention, the strumming of a banjo and the press of synthesizer keys drawing me in. I listened to the words as Bon sang what felt perfect.

_Oh please talk to me_

_Won't you please talk to me_

_We can unlock this misery_

_Come on, come talk to me_

_I did not come to steal_

_This all is so unreal_

_Can't you show me how you feel?_

_Now come on, come talk to me_

_Come talk to me_

Slowly, I stood up, my body moving of its own accord. Bella's head snapped up, surprised. I moved over and sat down beside her, my butt and the backs of my legs pressing against the tops of her feet – just like they used to when she buried her ice cold toes underneath me.

It was like a lightning bolt of realization. I wanted that again. I wanted her again.

Tentatively, I lifted my hand and placed it on the pillow next to hers, almost touching but not quite. "I'm really sorry, Bella," I said, my voice low and sincere. "I know I don't deserve a second chance. I know there's more to say, but I want you to know how truly sorry I am for the way I handled things that night.

"I should have talked to you. I should have fought harder."

I stopped talking, swallowing tightly. Her eyes were on our hands. I longed for her to move hers, just a little, to touch mine like she had at dinner, but she didn't. Hesitantly, she looked up, and her eyes locked with mine. "Me, too."

I didn't wait for her to move, for her to touch _me_, to acknowledge what she'd just said was real. Ever so slightly, I moved my hand against hers just as the music changed and the soft strains of piano filled the room.

"Can we try, B? For more?" I asked, my stomach in my throat.

Tears welled in her eyes again, and the words she uttered shattered me. "I want to… but I don't trust you."

I swallowed around the solid rock that was threatening to choke me and nodded my head, pulling my hand away and looking down at my other hand resting lifelessly in my lap. The ache in my chest is what it must have felt like for her that night. My eyes burned, and I squeezed them closed.

_I can't make you love me, if you don't._

_If you don't…_

Her hand covered mine. Slowly, I turned and looked at her, fighting the blur that made her appear even softer.

"But… I'm willing to try."

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><p>I hope it was worth the wait. I'd love to hear your thoughts.<p> 


	20. Chapter 20: Fizzle, Drizzle

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Fizzle, Drizzle**

* * *

><p><em>Her hand covered mine. Slowly, I turned and looked at her, fighting the blur that made her appear even softer. <em>

"_But… I'm willing to try."_

My head jerked up, and my eyes met hers. I opened my mouth to speak and then closed it. Had she really said she was willing to give it a try? I bit my bottom lip, allowing myself just a second to pull it together.

"Really?" I whispered, hoping.

She nodded slowly. "I think if we do this," she said, her voice equally soft, unsure, "we should take things slow. We need to get to know each other again, talk through some stuff… see where it goes. With the distance, I don't want there to be a lot of expectations… or hurt feelings if things don't go a certain way."

I nodded my head. It wasn't exactly what I'd been hoping for when I came over tonight, but in truth, it was probably the most I could expect. "I'd like that."

We sat in silence, the final strains of Bon's sad melody playing softly in the background. A new song with a slightly upbeat guitar riff started, and I looked at Bella. I wasn't sure how to proceed. I felt nervous and cautious. I didn't know what 'take things slow' meant, and I didn't want to cross any lines she might have already drawn.

I thought back over the last few days, the way we'd both been playful with each other before all this heaviness had come out, and realized there was some neutral ground.

"How about I scoop us some ice cream?" I asked, smiling.

A slow smile spread across her face. "That sounds perfect."

Together we got up and walked into the kitchen. She grabbed the bowls and spoons, while I grabbed the paper bag from the freezer.

"So, I wasn't sure what you liked, but I grabbed _Milk and Cookies_, _Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch, _and _Mint Chocolate Chunk._ I looked for _Cherry Garcia_, but unbelievably, they were out," I said, feigning disgust.

She laughed. And it was like music to my ears.

"That _is_ a tragedy of epic proportions," she said playfully. "What are you going to have instead?"

I looked at the three containers in front of me and decided _Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch_ was exactly what I needed. "This one," I said, holding it up. "What about you?"

"_Milk and Cookies_, of course. I never deviate."

"Wait, are you telling me you never try other flavors?" I asked, shocked.

"Well, I know what I like. I hate being disappointed. I mean, there is _nothing_ worse than ordering or buying something and then hating it. So, I figure I'm safe this way."

I laughed. That was so like her. She had been like that in college. For whatever reason, and it was probably stupid to even attach this much meaning to it, I wanted her to branch out. Not in a controlling sort of way. It felt symbolic, like maybe if she tried something new it would be like starting over, starting fresh… with me.

I shook my head. That was way too deep. And ridiculous.

"I see."

She handed me the bowls and spoons. "Here."

I took them and decided to make this fun. "Okay, here's the deal. We're both going to try all three flavors. If you don't like the other two, you can have the _Milk and Cookies. _Deal?"

She arched her eyebrow up at me. "And why should I do that?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Just to mix it up."

She pursed her lips, swishing them from side to side and smiled. "Okay, but if I don't like it, I'm eating all the _Cookies_."

I laughed, nodding. "Deal."

I pulled off the lids of all three and handed her a spoon. "Dig in!"

She hesitated, looking at me for a second.

"What? I don't have germs. At least not ones you haven't already gotten."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth I instantly regretted them. I wasn't sure if she would take it the wrong way, if bringing up the past after everything that had happened tonight would be a mood killer, but fortunately, she didn't.

"True. But who's to say I want any more of them?" she asked, digging her spoon into the _Mint Chocolate Chunk_ and sticking it in her mouth.

I watched as she slowly turned the spoon upside down and pulled it out of her mouth, her lips wrapping tightly around the metal as she swallowed.

I swallowed, too. That was… hot.

She grinned. "That was good. You have some," she said, pointing her spoon at me.

I pulled my eyes away from her mouth, dug my spoon in the tub, and quickly swallowed a big chunk, grateful for the cold. Who would have thought a little taste test could get me all twisted up… among other things.

I put the container down, and we tested each of the other two. With each of taste, her lips did that same wrapping thing, and I did that same swallowing, shifting thing.

_Slow. Taking things slow._

I kept telling myself that over and over. I would not cross any lines.

As she finished tasting _Cookies and Milk, _she smiled. "They were all good, actually. And," she said, playfully clinking her spoon against mine, "I'm going to have the _Heath Crunch_ with you."

I looked up at her and noticed a small dab on ice cream on the corner of her mouth. I reached out to wipe it off and stopped just before I touched her. "Um, you've got…"

"What?" she asked, reaching up to wipe at her mouth.

"You got it," I said, turning back to the container, and began dishing out full bowls.

When I handed her the bowl, I noticed the soft pink tinge to her cheeks and smiled. She was hands down the prettiest woman I had ever seen.

"Here you go," I said as the air crackled between us.

_Slow._

She took it. "Thanks."

I quickly dished my own, put the ice cream back in the freezer, and slowly began to eat mine, savoring the sweet, buttery flavors. We talked a little more, but as the conversation started to fizzle, it became clear we were both talked out.

I was emotionally drained – from the conversation and from the little _thing_ we'd just had in the kitchen (even if it was one sided).

I took her bowl and stood up. "I should probably head out. I have an early meeting at the office tomorrow morning." I wanted to ask when I could see her again, but I wasn't sure if I should.

"Okay." She stood up, too.

I placed the dishes in the sink and rinsed them off.

She walked me to the door, in silence, and handed me my coat.

"Thanks for coming over tonight, Edward. I know…" She paused. "I know this wasn't easy, but I feel better… about things."

I nodded and tucked my hands in my pockets. "Me, too. Thanks for dinner. It was great."

I pulled open the front door and walked out onto the porch. I turned to face her. "Bella, I don't really know what the boundaries are. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, so just… tell me if I do."

She nodded and smiled. "Okay."

"Okay, well, good night, then." I hesitated then leaned in and brushed my cheek against hers, relishing the warmth and softness of her skin. As I pulled back, I pressed my lips close to her ear, at the base of her jaw and then turned slowly, sort of half way so I could still look at her as I walked down the stairs and into the light drizzling rain.

She smiled and lifted her hand to her cheek. "Night, Edward."


	21. Chapter 21: Handle

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Handle**

* * *

><p>The hot spray of the shower felt good. Four fifteen was way too early to be up. I only had myself to blame, though, for calling a five a.m. meeting and for getting back to the hotel so late. I had no doubt I'd be treating the gang to lunch for that.<p>

I toweled off and quickly got ready to head into the office. I knew I could host the call from my hotel room, but I didn't want the others to head into the office without me. It wouldn't be right, and as the team leader, I needed to lead by example.

"Hey, boss," Steve said brightly as I walked into the conference room. He had a cup of coffee and a bagel in front of him, as did Tim, Maria, and Jason.

"Hey, guys. Sorry about the early call," I said, nodding my head in thanks when Tim tipped the box of bagels my way.

I grabbed a _Cinnamon Crunch_ and took a huge bite, moaning slightly at the amazingness of it. "Thanks for this. Lunch is on me."

"Darn right it is," Jason said with a grin. "You ready for me to dial in?"

I nodded and took a sip of the coffee I'd just made for myself. Thank goodness they had a Keurig in the office. I was sure Bella wouldn't approve, but timeliness was everything that early in the morning.

I took my seat and smiled as I thought about Bella and her special coffee brewer. Who would have thought learning about specialty coffee brewing methods could be so fascinating? Oh, whom was I fooling? It was all her. She was fascinating. And amazing. And beautiful.

"This is Seattle," Tim said as the call connected.

"Hey, guys," I heard Johnson say on the other end of the line. "It's pretty early there."

We all laughed. "It is. How is everyone?" I asked. No matter what we're doing, we always started our meetings with a few pleasantries. I'd learned early on that even though we were all scientists and people often thought we were only about the details, it was important to actually care about your team members and engage with them on a personal level. In doing that, I'd had a lot of success connecting with each of them and having challenging conversations when times got tough.

People shared a little about their respective weekends, and when it came to me, I was sort of at a loss for words. All I knew was how warm I felt inside, and I knew it wasn't the coffee.

"Well, I spent part of the weekend with an old friend from college, catching up and rehashing some old memories." That was certainly putting it mildly, but when I attempted to put things in perspective I knew how lucky I was that things hadn't ended differently the night before. The fact that Bella was willing to try for more was still mind blowing. I knew I didn't deserve it, that things were still confusing and uncertain, but I was grateful all the same.

There was a bit more small talk and then I switched gears. "So, tell me what's been going on since I've been away, guys?"

They proceeded to explain some of the challenges they'd run across in the trial and the mixed results they'd gotten. We talked about a couple of reasons why some of that might have happened and some potential solutions.

"Jeb, you've been pretty quiet," I said. "What's your assessment of the situation?" Jeb was the most reserved member of the team. He was also one of the smartest and most astute people I'd ever had the pleasure to work with, much less know. When I wanted a no-bullshit assessment, I always went to him.

There was a beat of silence and then he said what I'd sort of already been thinking. "I've looked at the data just the same as everyone else, but I can't figure out, even with the solutions mentioned, how we'll be able to trust any of the results if we don't start over."

The grumbling on the phone matched my flip-flopping gut. I had a feeling he was going to say that. Trial results were critical to the release of a new drug, and before we could even move into human trials, we needed some clean, solid results. What we had up to that point wouldn't cut it with Ben, Graham and Eric, much less the Board.

"I'll tell you what, let's try to divide and conquer. Jeb, why don't you take three people and work on a new plan, starting at ground zero and using any new and valid results we have already gathered. Johnson, you and the rest of the team implement the solutions you have already proposed. Let's see what you come up with, and we'll compare the data from both teams.

"In the meantime, Maria," I said, looking across the table, "why don't you partner with someone from Mike's team here and see what you can dig up that will support both teams. How does that sound?"

"Works for me," Jeb said.

"Same," Johnson agreed.

"I'm in," Maria offered with a nod of her head.

"Good. Now, on a slightly different subject." I proceeded to explain the details behind my phone call with Ben on Friday and told the team new work was coming their way.

"Steve, Tim, Jason, and I will continue partnering with Mike's team on their research and pick up the new project until we can figure out how the team should really look. As I know more details, I'll pass them along."

It didn't take long for us to wrap up the call, but as we were coming to a close, I decided to mention, politely, my expectation when trouble arises. "Oh, and guys, next time you come across a situation like this, please let me know. I'm not going to swoop in and try to fix it myself, but a little heads up would be good. I don't want to be blindsided by stuff like this in a report. Just pick up the phone or come into my office. Cool?"

They all murmured their agreement, and we quickly ended our call.

I looked at the team in the room with me. "Good?"

"Good," they all agreed before standing up and heading to their respective work stations. "You guys good to meet at noon for lunch?"

They all agreed.

"Excellent. Maria, you pick the place, okay?" She grinned and nodded.

After everyone was gone I sat back in my chair and looked out the window. It was still dark outside, and I wondered if Bella was up yet. I knew she didn't have class or any more finals to administer, so it stood to reason she would sleep in. Of course, I didn't really know if she was an early riser. She didn't use to be. In fact, she hated mornings and was a total night owl; part of me wondered what she was like in the morning. I used to love seeing her face in the mornings, still slightly pink and puffy from sleep. I always thought she looked so beautiful, so natural like that.

That twinge in my gut twisted, and I wondered if I'd ever see her like that again. I wanted to, but I definitely didn't see that happening in the next couple of days or the foreseeable future.

I grabbed my mug of coffee and stood up, tired and already a little frustrated at my line of thinking, and made my way over to the sidebar to refill my cup. I couldn't believe I had three nights left until I had to head home. I had no idea when I was going to be back or how we were going to make this thing between us work. I thought about the options – Skype, phone calls, texts, emails, the occasional visit – and felt myself growing disheartened. I didn't want to be away from her. I wasn't even sure how I'd handle not seeing her every day. I was already spoiled, and it had been less than a week.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. All I knew was that it was going to take a lot to make our relationship work, and I saw now why she wanted to take things slow.

_It's worth it. She's worth it._

With my steaming brew in hand, I made my way back to my chair and sat. It would be worth it, and there was no doubt she was most definitely worth it. I didn't need any convincing on the matter.

In the meantime, I needed to figure out a way to spend as much time with her as possible before I left without pushing too hard, too fast. We needed something solid to stand on, to help bridge the distance, especially with the holidays coming up.

I glanced at my watch. It wasn't even seven a.m., and I was already itching to get out of the office. This was going to be a long day.


	22. Chapter 22: Rope

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Rope**

* * *

><p>It was nine. I had been glancing at my phone off and on for an hour. I didn't know why I thought Bella was going to text or call. We hadn't made plans for the day, but I knew I wanted to see her that night.<p>

I picked up my phone, futzing around with the buttons and apps until I finally pulled up my messages and typed in her name. An open message box appeared, and I stared at the screen. I was making things too complicated. It was a text message, for crying out loud.

**EC: Good Morning, Bella. **

I paused before I hit send and considered whether that was all I wanted to say. I only wanted to send one message, so I didn't look like a stalker or like I was pushing too hard, too fast. She wanted to take things slow. And while I still wasn't sure exactly how that would play out, I doubted multiple texts was the way to go.

I quickly typed out a few more words, wishing her a good day, and hit send. A few seconds passed before I set my phone back on the table, ignoring the disappointment I felt that she hadn't responded. Then I wanted to kick myself for being so emotional and overeager. This was _so_ not me.

I pulled up my email and got back to work. There was a lot going on, and I really needed to focus. I'd finally gotten the new work package from Ben. The study they wanted my team to take on – researching a new drug for a rare protein disorder – was going to be a real challenge. Resources and time were already tight, and that type of research would be new to most of the group. I needed to be strategic about the work assignments, balancing the skills, interests, and development needs of the team members, not to mention the other work they had going on.

I was just starting to jot down my thoughts when my phone buzzed.

**IS: Morning, Edward. I hope you made you're early morning meeting. **

I stared at the screen and couldn't fight the grin that was already forming. I messaged her back instantly.

**EC: I did. But 5am came early. **

I waited for a second, wondering if she had plans tonight, if I should ask her out, if she wanted to see me, but then I decided to throw caution to the wind. I had to make her see I wanted to get to know her, spend time with her, and more importantly, she could trust me. I was still pondering just how to go about that, knowing full well it would take more than a date or two to make that happen, when my phone buzzed again.

**IS: I bet. **

**EC: What does your day look like?**

**IS: Grading papers, mostly. Then I'm meeting some of the Lit professors for lunch to discuss plans for next semester. **

**IS: You?**

I smiled.

**EC: Hopefully taking you to dinner tonight.**

**IS: I'd like that.**

**EC: Really?**

After I hit send I smacked my palm across my forehead. What was my problem? I couldn't believe I'd sent that.

**IS: LOL. Yes, really. **

**EC: Are you in the mood for anything in particular?**

I had no idea where to take her. I knew I'd planned to take her to Ginger the other day, but I wanted to go someplace she wanted to go.

**IS: I'm up for anything.**

**EC: Oh, that's really helpful, Bella. Give a guy a hand here.**

**IS: Okay, okay. Let me think about it, okay?**

**EC: I'll think about it, too.**

I would definitely be thinking about her. There was no doubt about that.

~*WS*~

By the time it was time to head out for the day, I still hadn't heard from Bella. Throughout the day, I casually asked around to see what kinds of things people did around here during the winter. I had a pretty good plan in mind and was sort of anxious to put it in motion, but if Bella already had a plan, I didn't want to step on her toes.

**EC: Any thoughts about tonight?**

I pulled up the list of places I was considering and printed it out, along with phone numbers, addresses, and a map. It looked like everything was within walking distance.

**IS: I have some ideas.**

**EC: Yeah? Let's hear 'em.**

**IS: Well, there's this really great wine bar downtown called Purple.**

I consulted my list and saw it was one of the restaurants I'd heard about from one of the women in the office.

**EC: Sounds perfect. There are some fun places we can walk to after if you're up for it.**

I knew she didn't have anything formal on her calendar, at least not school-wise. I didn't want to presume, but I was pretty much banking on spending as much time as possible with her, sleep be damned.

**IS: Sounds fun. What time?**

I glanced at my watch. It was almost four-thirty. If I got out of there in the next ten minutes, back to my hotel to change and then headed over her way, I could probably be there by six, mentally cursing the traffic in the city.

**EC: How about I pick you up at six? **

**EC: Oh, and dress warm for walking. **

**IS: See you then. ;)**

I shoved my phone in my back pocket and scrambled to close down for the day. I was on cloud nine over the possibilities for the evening. I wanted to keep things fun and light, try to erase some of the heaviness from the previous evening – and our past, if I could.

~*WS*~

I showed up at her door at ten after six. I hated being late, but when I hit the traffic on I-5, I knew it wasn't going to be pretty. I let Bella know, and she was more than fine with it, which I appreciated.

I was nervous. I shouldn't have been, especially not after what we'd talked about the night before, but I was. It felt like we were at the beginning of something new and exciting.

She opened the door. I felt my chest tighten, and my breath whooshed out of me. She was stunning, absolutely beautiful. Her face looked soft in the light, and her hair was flowing around the tops of her shoulders. I didn't say anything as I slowly lower my eyes, taking in the woman before me. She was wearing a cream colored sweater with a brown swirly design on it, but that wasn't what I really noticed. It was clinging to her waist and hips and chest, highlighting all the best parts – and trust me, I knew what those were – of her without being too revealing or inappropriate.

I swallowed and allowed my eyes to drift lower to the pair of jeans she was wearing – tight and perfect – tucked into a pair of tall, brown boots. She had what looked like a purple scarf in her hand. She looked casual, happy… perfect.

That was all I could think about when my eyes finally met hers. She had a knowing smile on her face, and her eyes were sparkling with laughter. I knew I should have been embarrassed, but I wasn't. Who could blame me for checking her out like that?

"Hey," she said, her voice light and playful.

I smiled – full-mouthed – back at her. "You ready?"

"Yep, I just need to grab my bag and coat." She pushed the door open and walked into the house. I followed after her and was glad I did. The view was quite nice.

She came back to me, her bag and coat in hand, and set them on the entry table. "Could you give me a hand with this?" she asked, holding out a dainty little necklace.

"Uh, sure," I said, taking it from her hands and stepping forward.

She turned, lifting her hair up, and waited for me to drape the necklace against her skin. I took another step forward, my chest barely touching her back, and fumbled with the clasp.

She was warm and smelled really good. I took a second and stared at the long line of her neck and the exposed parts of her chest and back. I could see her pulse beating just beneath her jaw, and her throat move as she swallowed.

I felt my eyes flutter closed for a second as memories of her from long ago, younger but just as beautiful, just as sexy, flooded my mind. I wanted to kiss that little place between her neck and shoulder. The skin looked so soft and smooth – and I knew it is from experience – and as I finally got the clasp fastened, I did. I leaned forward and lightly brushed my lips against that perfect little patch of skin, breathing in the light scent of her sweet perfume.

Her breath hitched, and her shoulders and back stiffened.

Everything inside me felt raw and tight, like it had been brushed over with a rough rope then tied in knots. I didn't dare glance at her face, fearful of what I'd see. So, as she turned to face me, I simply put my hand on her shoulder, stopping her as I grabbed her coat and held it up for her to put on.

My heart was pounding; my lips were still tingling as I gently fixed her collar, but it was the look on her face when she finally turned around that made me feel like I was about to explode.


	23. Chapter 23: Upset

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Thanks to mycrookedsmile. She is… amazing.

**Word Prompt: Upset**

* * *

><p><em>My heart was pounding as I gently fixed her collar, but it was the look on her face when she finally turned around that made me feel like I was about to explode.<em>

Her eyes were blazing, and her cheeks were flushed. Her lips were parted, glistening slightly in the light overhead. She started to speak, but all that came out was a sort of slow, steady exhale. Her eyes dropped to the floor, and my heart twisted.

Could I be any more of an idiot?

"Listen, Bella-"

"I thought we were taking things slow," she said just as I started to apologize. Her voice was barely a whisper, but I could hear the confusion in it. I could tell I'd upset her, and my stomach flip-flopped uneasily.

"We are. Damn, I'm su-" I stopped, pulling my thoughts together. I needed to be more coherent. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to push or make you uncomfortable. I just sort of… lost myself in you for a second."

It was the absolute truth. Being that close to her, touching her skin like that, even if it wasn't supposed to be intimate, had opened up this growing need to be with her, to reconnect with her in every way.

I realized we were still just as close as we were when this whole thing happened, and I took a small step back. I instantly felt the break in our connection. It sucked.

"Please don't let this ruin our night. I won't touch you again, I promise." Even as I said it, I hated that I really wanted to.

She sighed and looked up at me. Her eyes were guarded, a glaring contrast to the bright, happy ones that met me at the front door. I wanted to kick myself for stealing that light from her eyes.

"It's not that I didn't like, Edward. I did. Trust me," she said with a sort of half laugh. "It's just… I need to believe we can have more than just _that_. You know?"

I saw what she was saying. I guessed in a way I could see why she would think that. _That_ always came easy to us. It was the talking part – the part I'd completely failed at – that hadn't.

I didn't even realize I'd been nodding my head, my eyes still on my toes, until I actually looked up. "I do. I honestly didn't mean to push you like that, Bella. In my head I know it's more than just being physical. I mean, I want that, of course, but I know it's not time.

"One of the things I've always loved about you is your brain. I know that sounds cheesy, but this past week has only confirmed what I always knew. You are an intelligent and amazing woman, and I want to get to know _all_ of you again." I paused, giving her _and_ me a chance to process what I'd actually just said. "If you'll still let me."

I felt the unsure and sort of sick at the thought that I might have ruined this new thing between us. Then I realized something else. I needed to talk about boundaries because I just didn't know what I could and couldn't do that would make her uncomfortable. After tonight, I never wanted see that look on her face again.

"And so, if it's okay, I'd like to talk about boundaries. I have no idea what I can and can't do around you, and it makes me anxious. I don't want to cross a line you've drawn. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but more than anything, I want you to trust me again," I said, my voice trailing off into the already deafening quiet of the room.

Her head snapped up, and her eyes met mine. I could see the confusion morph into surprise.

"What?"

"I just hate not knowing how to be with you, Bella. I know you want to take things slow, but I'm not sure if that means don't touch you, don't kiss you…"

A little ripple formed between her brows as she pursed her lips in thought. "I guess I don't really know. I mean, I want this to progress normally. I don't think we should just jump into bed together, but I don't want to have a bunch of rules and timelines, either.

"If one of us wants to hold hands, and it feels natural, then we should. Same with… the other stuff," she said, her eyes all of a sudden shy.

It seemed straightforward enough, but it _had_ felt natural to kiss her neck and that hadn't gone well. I was confused but resigned myself to go with it. Maybe it would become clearer as we went along.

"That's what I want, too."

And I did.

"Look, Edward," she said, reaching her hand out for mine. I put my hand in hers and instantly felt her warmth start to erase some of the tension. "Let's just take this one day at a time, go with the flow, okay? You don't have to restrain yourself around me. That's not being real – for either of us. You just caught me off guard, you know?"

I ran my thumb lightly across the top of her hand before giving it a slight squeeze and nodded. "I do. Can we start over? Again?" I asked, hoping we could still salvage the evening.

She laughed, and it was magical and sweet. "We don't need to start over. This is all part of giving things a shot. Neither of us is perfect, and we can't read each other's minds. So, let's just keep talking and learning about each other. All the kinks will work themselves out. At least that's what I think."

~*WS*~

Driving downtown, Bella's words kept repeating in my head.

_All the kinks will work themselves out._

_This is all just part of giving it a shot._

_If it feels natural, then we should do it._

I hope she meant it. I knew when we relaxed and just went with the flow things felt good, and I was determined to do just that.

"Hey," Bella said, her hand touching my forearm. "You're like a million miles away right now."

I smiled, reached over, and put my other hand on top of hers. "I'm here. Just thinking, scheming," I said playfully.

She laughed. "Oh yeah? About what?"

"If I tell you, I'll have to kill you." I tried to make my face the picture of seriousness but only succeeded in grinning when she arched her eyebrow at me skeptically.

"Mhmm," she said dubiously and squeezed my arm.

I wasn't sure if that was a sign I should move my hand, but I did, anyway. I was relieved when she didn't immediately pull her hand away.

Once we found a parking spot, we got out, bundled up, and walked to the restaurant.

Purple was warm; that was my first thought, with trendy a close second. Everything was made of steel and brick, but the lights seemed to soften it up a bit. The hallmark of the restaurant, though, was a column in the center of the dining room with rows and rows of wine. I was in heaven.

When we got to the hostess desk, I told her party of two and gave her my name. Bella and I were pressed up against each other, much like we had been at Cedar's, only I didn't feel nearly as awkward as I had that night. Despite the situation earlier in the evening, I didn't second-guess myself when I wrapped my around her hip to pull her closer in the crowded entryway.

She didn't say anything, but she didn't pull away either. I took that as a win. Not that I was keeping score or anything, but I was still skittish.

The hostess seated us, and dinner flew by in easy conversation. Finally, I felt like I could breathe. Laugh. Hope. I knew we were good together; we were back then, and I knew we would be again.

As dessert came, the dreaded past relationships conversation came up. I wasn't really embarrassed by mine. I told her about the few casual relationships and about Vic.

"I thought for a long time we might end up being… more, but things had been unraveling for a while. We didn't laugh, didn't talk. It was really almost like we were roommates with benefits, and in the end, I wanted more. We both deserved more, you know?"

She nodded. "I do." She hesitated. "So, are you guys still close?"

I laughed dryly. "Um, no. We didn't exactly part of good terms."

"Oh?"

I didn't want to talk bad about Vic. She used to be important to me, and even though we weren't together, I still cared about her. "Well, when I ended things… let's just say she tried to, eh, save things."

Bella's face was wrinkled in confusion until understanding dawned on her face. "I see. And you didn't…"

"No. Definitely not. I was polite, told her things were over, that I didn't want to go there. We are very over."

Her shoulders dropped slightly, and I hoped it was in relief. The small smile on her lips made me think so. I took a sip of my coffee and smiled back at her. I could stare at her for hours and not get tired of looking at her. She was stunning in the dim light of the room.

"Your turn," I said, clinking my coffee mug against hers.

"Well, I don't guess there's much to tell," she said, as she bit into one of the chocolate covered salted caramels we'd ordered for our first dessert. She had no idea I was planning to take her somewhere for ice cream, so when she'd mentioned getting the candies, I just went along with it.

I just rolled my eyes. "Oh, come on. Don't be all shy about it," I teased. "I told you mine," I whined teasingly.

She huffed but still smiled. "Fine. I've dated off and on over the last ten years. I had two semi-serious relationships, but clearly neither of them went anywhere."

I wanted to ask more, but I wasn't sure I really wanted to hear the details. So, I waited her out, and she kept talking.

"I met Dustin my second year at USC. We dated off and on for three years, but when we both graduated, it was clear it was time to move on. There were a couple short-term things but nothing until I met Jack." She paused to take a drink, and I noticed the way her face had hardened at the mention of his name. I felt my hackles rise, a sense of overprotectiveness rushing over me.

"Jack and I met in Texas. We met at a coffee shop we both frequented. He was a professor at UT, as well. Physics," she said before I even had a chance.

"I wasn't going to ask," I said, laughing.

"Right," she said sarcastically and pressed on. "Anyway, we sort of became fast friends that quickly turned into, eh, more." Her cheeks turned pink, and my gut twisted.

"We broke up about a year later."

She looked up at me with sad eyes, and I knew he must have hurt her. I reached across the table and touched her fingers. She didn't relax them at first, but I just waited and slowly her fingers tangled loosely with mine. "What happened?"

Her lips tightened into a straight line. "I found out he'd been seeing several other women at the same time. I thought things were a lot more serious than they were. We never really defined things, but it just seemed…" Her voice trailed off.

I squeezed her fingers and gently pulled her hand across the table and put my other hand around hers. I didn't say anything. What was there to say? Nothing. But it was his loss and my gain, and as much as it sucked that she'd been hurt, I was glad it had give me another chance.

We sat there for a minute that felt comfortably longer until she smiled, her eyes warm and vibrant, and quietly said, "Thanks."

* * *

><p>I apologize for the posting delay and for not responding to reviews. RL completely overtook me this weekend. More of these two and fun on their date tomorrow! xoxo<p> 


	24. Chapter 24: Punish

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Thanks to shellshock81 for the glass analogy at the end. I stole it from one of her reviews (with her permission), thinking it perfectly described these two.

And big thanks to kdc2239 for all the Seattle info. We walked these streets together last year, and I'm desperate for another visit! Miss you, sweetness.

**Word Prompt: Punish**

* * *

><p>Bella and I walked slowly down the sidewalk, admiring the lighted windows and holiday decorations. The area was abuzz with holiday cheer, and it felt good to be there with her.<p>

After our shared moment in the restaurant, I could tell things were different. Just like the other times we'd opened up about our pasts, there was shift in the feel of the evening. She seemed to relax a little more, and I could certainly appreciate her vulnerability for what it was – a gift she'd freely given. Because of that, I felt like I could relax, too, that I could stop punishing myself for my misstep earlier in the evening, and to a certain degree, ten years ago.

"So, where are you taking me?" she asked as we stopped in front of a store that had a really cool train display in the window. It looked like a scene out of _The Polar Express_, complete with the little boy's bedroom, the city center in the North Pole, and the little boy's bedroom.

"It's a surprise," I said, bumping her with my elbow. "I already told you that, so quit asking."

She laughed. "Okay. Okay."

We walked on, and I found myself noticing little things about her –

the way her nose would crinkle when she was happy and really smiling, the way she brushed her hair out of her face with the back of mittens, and how her eyes would brighten and she'd nudge me when she saw something she really liked. It was endearing and made me want to relearn all the little nuances about her again.

As we turned onto Pike Street, I knew we were getting close. One of the things we'd never done in college was see the Christmas tree at Pike's Place. We were always embroiled in finals and with plans to escape home for the break, but I knew it was something we'd always talked about. I wasn't sure if she'd gone since she'd moved back, but I hoped she'd like the surprise, nonetheless.

We entered the market, and the crowds had gotten much thicker. Instinctively, I reached over and took her hand in mine, wanting to keep her close.

"I was planning to come here this year," she said as she looked over at me, smiling brightly.

I didn't really say anything. No words were needed. I just wanted to bask her happiness and my own. When we were finally in front of the tree, I couldn't help but smile. Her face was awash in color, the lights painting a rainbow on her cheeks and nose and in her eyes. I felt my chest constrict. In a million years I would not have imagined being there, in that moment, with her.

"What are you looking at?" she asked, her eyes twinkling.

"You," I said simply, unable to suppress the awe I felt.

She looked down, the heel of her boot-clad foot tipping back so her toe was pointing up and then back down.

When her eyes met mine again, her hair had fallen in her face, and I slowly reached up and tucked it behind her ear.

"You're beautiful."

She smiled, a slow, easy smile, and if I thought she was beautiful before, then I didn't know what to say about the way she looked in that moment. She was, in a word, perfect.

"Thank you," she said softly.

We stayed like that, sort of lost in the moment until the crowd jostled us out of our stupor. I pulled her in front of me and wrapped my arms around her waist, like I had at the restaurant. It felt good.

When she started pressing a little closer to me, I knew it was time to go. It was getting colder, and I still had two more places to take her.

"You ready to go to the next stop on this holiday tour?" I asked.

She turned and smiled. "Yep. Lead the way."

Still in our own little bubble, we walked hand in hand up Pike Street. Neither of us talked, and for whatever reason, it didn't feel like we needed to. I was perfectly content to just be fully present in the moment. When we got to Sixth Street, we turned and made our way into the Sheraton Hotel.

Bella looked at me quizzically, but I just smiled and pulled her inside. I had heard from one of the women in the office that the Sheraton had a really cool Gingerbread Village. As a kid, my mom and I had always decorated gingerbread houses each year, and the idea of seeing some giant, professionally decorated ones really appealed to me.

The scene that greeted us was nothing short of magical. The room was filled with brightly colored lights, and the smell of gingerbread was sharp and sweet. I looked over at Bella, and she looked just as enthralled as I felt.

Gingerbread houses had been created and decorated to resemble train stations all over the world under the theme _Holiday Express._ They had one of Grand Central Station, Flinders Street Station in Australia, London's King's Cross Station, Dunedin Station in New Zealand, and best of all, the station at the Island of Misfit Toys in the North Pole.

We walked around in wonder, our mouths gaping at the level of detail, the intricate icing work, and the way each piece of candy had been placed to mimic an actual part of the real stations. We pointed out little things that caught our attention and laughed at the elves and toys at the Island of Misfit Toys.

As we passed the final house and made our way back into the main lobby of the hotel, I led her outside without a word.

"There's more?" she asked, already laughing. "This is too much, Edward."

"Just one more stop, I promise. And trust me, you'll be happy."

"I'm already happy."

And the very big smile on her face was definitely proof of that.

"Well, then this is just the cherry on top." I chuckled to myself at my lame pun that only I understood.

We walked a block or so, and she stopped short. She pulled her hand out of mine and put them on her hips and playfully cocked her head. "I cannot believe you are taking me for ice cream."

"A promise is a promise," I said. "Come on, lady, I'm paying my debt."

She giggled but let me lead her inside Cold Stone. We stood, staring at the board, and I had to laugh. She looked torn.

"What, you don't know exactly what you're getting? You actually have more than one set choice?" I teased.

She punched me in the arm. "For your information, I have _two_ standard choices here, thank you very much."

"Oh, really," I said dramatically. "Pray tell, what would those be?"

She huffed. "Well, I either get _Cookie Doughn't You Want Some _or…"

"Wait, let me guess," I said, interrupting her. "_Coffee Lovers Only."_

She punched me again. "Whatever."

I laughed. "I'll take that as a yes."

She glared at me. "Okay, Mr. Wise Guy, what are _you_ getting?"

"I'm making my own creation," I said proudly. She should have known I wouldn't go for the standard.

"Shocker."

Apparently, she did.

We kept making fun of each other as we worked our way up to the counter. I was just about to speak when she put her hand on my chest and stopped me. "I've got this."

She turned to the guy behind the counter. "I'll have the Cookie Dough creation, and he'll have…" She paused and looked at the choices in front of her. "Plain vanilla with heath bar mixed in." She looked up at me for approval, and I grinned, nodding and laughing.

"Very funny, Bella. So, we're both creatures of habit. Truce?"

"Truce," she said as we made our way down to the register. I paid for the ice cream while she grabbed our bowls from the guy, along with napkins and spoons.

There wasn't any place to sit, but that was okay. I was perfectly happy leaning against a way, bowl in hand, eating and talking with her. She seemed fine with it, too.

I scraped the last of my ice cream from my bowl and looked at hers. She'd just barely made it halfway through and looked like she was about to burst.

"Too much?"

"Too much," she said with a groan.

I took it from her with a raise of my brow, making sure it was okay, and then tossed it in the trash when she gave me a little nod.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Yep."

The crowds had died down as the evening progressed, so it was a much faster walk to the car, which was good because it had gotten a lot colder. By the time we made it to the car, we were both freezing. I opened her door, made sure she was inside, and quickly jogged over to my side. I was surprised when she leaned over and opened my door for me.

The drive back to her house was quick, and before I knew it, I pulled into her driveway, put the car in park, and turned off the ignition. I opened the door and felt like I was in slow motion as I walked around to her side of the car and opened the door.

I helped her out, and we walked up the front steps of her house onto the porch. The light was shining brightly, as were the Christmas lights that I'd admired the first time I'd pulled up to her house a few days before.

"I had a great time with you tonight, Bella," I said, her hand still in mine.

"Me, too. Tonight was really great. I can't believe you had all that planned."

"Well, the people at my office were pretty helpful. They gave me a bunch of ideas, and I just picked the ones I thought you might like."

She grinned. "It was perfect. Thank you."

We stood there, and I felt the awkward end-of-date moment all guys dread creeping up. I did not want to end of a bad note, and so I played it safe.

"Good night, Bella," I said, squeezing her hand.

I felt her do the same, but she didn't let go, and I couldn't quite bring myself to pull my hand away. I took in the soft planes of her face, the way her lips had parted slightly and her eyes had locked with mine, and I wanted nothing more than to kiss her.

But I didn't. I couldn't. It felt like what we had was simultaneously rock solid and as fragile as glass, and I was too afraid to test the strength of things at the moment.

So, I did the next best thing. I pulled my hand free from hers and gently cupped her face between my hands. I looked into her warm, brown eyes, then tilted her head down just slightly and pressed my lips against her forehead. I lingered there, relishing the moment, before I slid my arms around her waist and pulled her to me. Thank you for tonight."

My emotions were all over the map. I knew it was time to go, but damn I didn't want to. As if she could read my thoughts she pulled back a little and quietly asked, "Do you want to come inside?"

I wanted to. But I knew better. I knew if I went in there I would kiss her, and who knew where that would lead. "I... I better not," I said sadly.

She nodded. "Okay," she said just as quietly as she'd asked. I could see the hurt on her face and knew I needed to explain.

"I want to, Bella," I said, reaching for her hand and pleading with my eyes for her to see just how truthful I was being. "But I think it would be better for us both if I didn't."

Her fingers tangled with mine, open and accepting. "You're probably right." She sighed. "I know tomorrow's your last night here, and I'm not sure if you have stuff to do with your team, but would you maybe want to come over tomorrow night? For dinner or dessert or just… to hang out and watch a movie or something?"

My stomach twisted. She wanted me to come over again, and the fact she'd invited me, of her own volition was not lost on me. "Yes. I'd love that."

She grinned. "Okay, great."

We settled on a few details, and then I tugged her hand, pulling her toward me and wrapped my arms around her waist, just like I'd done earlier. My heart was pounding as I leaned in and brushed my lips against cheek. I tightened my arms around her, hugging her, loving how perfect she felt and knowing that for now it was enough. "Goodnight Bella."

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><p>Thank you all for the reviews. I know some of you are anxious for them to get a move on things, but my purpose in writing this story is to try to be a realistic as possible. This is a personal test for me, because I have a tendency to be a little dramatic (those of you who know me are probably cackling at how much of an understatement that really is. Zip it.). Thanks for hanging in there with me. Hopefully this chapter was a little glimpse into the tender moments to come for these two!<p>

Much love to you all! xoxo


	25. Chapter 25: Maintain

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

Song lyrics property of _Sleeping at Last._

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Maintain**

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><p>"Earth to Edward," Mike said, waving his hand in front of my face.<p>

"What?" I said, snapping out of my daydream. I couldn't focus on anything except the fact that it was my last night with Bella, and I had no clue how to go about saying goodbye or what the future would hold, for that matter.

"What is with you today, man?" Mike asked, a little annoyed. "You've been distracted from the moment you walked in this morning, and I'm pretty sure you haven't heard a word I've said in the last five minutes."

"I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind." I let out a long breath and ran my hands up and down my face, trying to get my head back in the game.

"Is everything okay?"

I nod. "Yeah. No. I don't know. It's personal, actually." I really didn't want to go into details at the office. As a general rule, I liked to keep my worlds separate. It was easier when things didn't work out, and it also meant I didn't bring work home.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked, his concern genuine.

"Nah. But thanks." I paused and then looked right at him. "Actually, if you don't think you need me, I'm going to take off. I'll check in with the team before I go, but I need to take care of some stuff. I can't do that and be here."

Mike shrugged. "Fine by me. We've got it under wraps, and you and I have already talked about our plan for the remainder of the week and early January."

Feeling relieved for the first time since I woke up, I thanked him, finalized things with the team, and packed up my stuff. I went straight to the hotel and packed my bags – or at least packed them as much as I could before my flight the next morning. After changing into a pair of jeans, I grabbed my coat and scarf and left the hotel.

All morning long, I'd thought of nothing but Bella. The memory of her soft smile and beautiful eyes as I'd pulled out of our hug the night before had been on a constant loop all morning. Things had ended exactly as I'd hoped, and I was excited to spend my last night with her, if not a bit apprehensive about really saying goodbye, not just for the night but for the next who knew how long.

I knew I wanted to make our last night special, but I also wasn't sure what she had planned. In some ways, I didn't want to do anything; I just wanted to be with her, to spend time with her. I thought about the coming holiday break and wondered if there was a way to see her. I knew I could fly back to Seattle, but I wasn't sure if she'd be open to spending more of her holiday break with me. I had no real clue what her Christmas plans entailed, other than spending time with her dad, but I really wanted to find a way to stay connected.

As I passed a sign on the highway pointing me to Pike's Place, inspiration struck. I wanted to get her something, a little gift, for Christmas and to remember me by. There were a few shops last night that had fun holiday memorabilia, and I decided to see if maybe something there caught my eye.

~*WS*~

When I got to Bella's house, I could hardly contain my excitement. I'd spoken with her late in the afternoon, and we were both on the same page. I'd picked up the ingredients for pizza, and we were going to spend the evening in kitchen rolling dough, making sauce, and then devouring our little creation.

I thought about the things in my coat pocket, wondering when I could sneak my gift for her under the tree. I didn't want her to see it until after I'd left. I still couldn't believe my good fortune when I'd walked into the first store and found the snow globe with the Pike's Place tree all decorated and lit up. I knew the minute I saw it, I wanted to get it for her. I hoped when she opened it, she would smile and think of me.

Dinner came and went. The pizza was delicious. We overdid it on the cheese and couldn't stop laughing at the strings of melty goodness that practically hung from our mouths with each bite. At one point Bella reached over and wiped a bit of sauce from my chin, her eyes dancing with mirth as she made some wisecrack about me being a slob.

It was like time raced by. One minute it was seven and the next it was ten. We'd spent the entire evening talking and laughing, both feeling completely relaxed. As the evening had worn on, Bella and I had moved into the living room and onto the couch. We'd started out at opposite ends but at some point, she'd scooted closer, and was leaning against me, my arm wrapped around her. It felt like she just fit there, and the fact I was going to walk out her door later that night and had no clue when we'd get the chance to do it again left me feeling empty inside.

I thought about the envelope in my coat pocket and felt my fingers itch. I wanted to give it to her, but I was nervous about her reaction. She had always loved surprises, but this was… well, this was big.

"Bella," I said as she refilled our wine glasses.

She looked up at me. "Yeah?"

"I was wondering what your plans were for the holiday break." I said, trying to act way more nonchalant than I felt.

She set the bottle down, the bottom clinking against the surface of the table, and scrunched her face up in thought. "Well, I'm spending Christmas with my dad in Forks, but after that, I'm not really sure. What are you doing?"

I wanted to reach out and touch her, but I didn't. "My parents are coming into town for a few days and then after that, well, I was sort of wondering if maybe… hang on," I said as I stood up and made my way to the coat closet.

I stuck my hand in and immediately felt the cool paper between my fingertips. My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest. I took a deep breath, trying to remind myself that a "no" didn't mean the end of us, that it might just mean she couldn't come.

Her eyes were on me as I slowly walked back to the couch and sat down. She was tucked into the corner of the couch, her feet flat on the cushion and her knees bent, and I slid across it until I was right next her, my thigh resting against her feet.

She laughed nervously. "What's going on?"

I bit my lip and just went for it. "Would you come to Princeton for New Year's Eve?" I asked, my words sort of running together.

Her eyebrows shot up, and her mouth opened and closed in what I hoped was surprised excitement. "What?"

I swallowed and slowly extended my arm until I was holding the plain white envelope with her name on it out for her to take. She took it and untucked the flap, her eyes bouncing between me and it. She peeked inside, and her head jerked up.

"Just hear me out," I said quickly, wanting to make sure she understood my intentions. She glanced back at the contents of the envelope before she looked at me. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, and I wished I could read her mind.

"I know it's a lot, but I was thinking, if you're free, that maybe you might want to come to Princeton and spend some time there. I know you might have plans and that this might be too much too soon, but I just…" I blew out a breath. "I just thought maybe I could show you who I am, give you a glimpse of my life… like you've done here with me."

She didn't say anything, so I pressed on. "I have a guest bedroom. Or I could get you a hotel room. Whatever you'd be comfortable with. I don't want you to feel pressured. I just wanted to figure out a way to see you. I'm not even gone, and I'm already trying to figure out how to get back to you."

_Damn, that was the truth. _

"You don't have to say anything. Just tell me you'll think about it. Please," I said, my voice pleading, and worse or maybe not, bordering on desperate.

_Please say yes. Please._

Her fingers were brushing across the paper, and I could tell by the furrow in between her eyes that she was wrestling with the idea. For whatever reason, I took that as a good sign. I had to, otherwise… well, I couldn't think about the otherwise.

"Bella," I said softly, my fingers stilling hers. She looked up, and I could see all the indecision, the confusion, the want and fear there. I hated it, but I understood it.

"You don't have to say yes now… or at all," I said, the last three words coming out in barely a whisper. "But please just give it some thought. I would really love to show you Princeton, more about my life, my friends… but I get if it's too early. The ticket is refundable and changeable, so whatever you decide is fine."

She nodded her head. "Thank you. This is… this is so generous and thoughtful, Edward. I just need a bit of time to process it, if that's okay."

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. I knew deep down that was the best I would probably get, but the disappointment was still difficult to stomach.

We tried to climb out of the weird mood that had descended around us, but everything felt heavy. I was at war with myself, frustrated that I had taken the perfect evening we'd been having and twisted it into something that left us feeling vulnerable and any number of other emotions.

She was deep in thought, almost oblivious when I decided it was up to me to change things. I couldn't leave with us feeling unsettled. I didn't want to maintain what we'd started. I wanted it to grow and flourish, even with the distance. All the signs told me we were on the cusp of something amazing and special; if only I could make her see that, make her see that I wasn't the same person I was ten years ago, that she could trust me not to walk away, to break her heart all over again.

The silence was eating at me, and slowly, just like the night we'd had _the talk_, I realized some music might be the answer. I quickly scrolled through her music and settled on something soft but hopeful.

As the chords of the piano began to play, the delicate tune floating through the air, I walked over to her, held out my hand, and waited for her to look up at me, to take it. When she did, I pulled her up off the couch and hesitantly placed my hand on her waist and wrapped my hand around hers. I took a step closer to her, until she was up against my chest, and slowly began to move.

Beat by beat I moved us in a small circle in her living room, allowing the music, my touch, to communicate what I felt I couldn't say.

_i surrender who i've been for who you are,_

_for nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart._

_if i had only felt how it feels to be yours,_

_well, i would have known what I've been living for all along._

_what i've been living for._

As the music began to build, her head pressed against my chest and she let go, her arms sliding around my waist. I pulled her closer, running one hand through her hair and tightly holding her against me. We danced through two other songs, all slow but hopeful.

When she pulled back, her eyes were soft but alight. In all my life, I would never forget the way she looked in that moment – hair sort of mussed, lines from my shirt on her lightly pinked cheek, lips wet from the quick sweep of her tongue.

She was breathtaking.

She was almost mine.

I lightly brushed my thumb across the apple of her cheek, relishing the smooth peach skin, and opened my palm when I felt her lean into me and her eyes briefly flutter closed. Her hand reached up and pressed against mine until she had intertwined our fingers and dropped them down by our sides.

She leaned forward, slow and deliberate, and gently pressed her lips against mine. They were hesitant but inviting, her mouth soft and warm. It was nothing more than a whisper of a kiss, but it was everything to me.

I felt like my entire body was a live wire, coursing with so much energy and intensity. I could have stayed like that, completely lost in the moment, lost in her, when she pulled back. A small smile had formed, and then she uttered the one word I'd wanted her to say all night.

"Yes."

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><p>Reviews are love. Thank you for them!<p> 


	26. Chapter 26: Frozen Pond

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Image Prompt: Frozen Pond with a construction cone on it**

http : / www . fictionistaworkshop . com / wp-content/uploads / 2012 / 01 / frozen-st-james-park-lake-53 . jpg

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><p>When I pulled into my apartment complex the sun had just begun to set. I parked the car in my slot, turned off the engine, and just sat there. Snow was piled high on the sidewalks, like it had just recently been plowed. The pond in the center of the complex was frozen over, and a construction cone lay on its side. I glanced over to the corner entrance and gathered it must have blown over.<p>

My apartment windows were black, not that I expected anything different, but it left me feeling cold and empty. I longed to be back at Bella's place, where the lights from her Christmas tree glowed and the house smelled like pizza. Like her.

The entire flight home had been filled with thoughts of Bella. I was still reeling from the kiss – kisses – we'd shared and the fact she'd said yes to visiting and staying with me for New Years.

I leaned my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes, feeling travel weary and sort of melancholy. Images of her danced behind my eyelids, flitting around and fading in and out like fireflies on a hot summer night.

_Seeing Bella's huge, silly grin when I asked her for the third time if she was really serious._

_Pulling her back into my arms and twirling her around in my own excitement when she laughed and told me yes, yet again._

_Snuggling on the couch until early in the morning, talking about how we were going to make all this work._

_Holding her in my arms as we said goodbye beside her front door._

_Feeling her arms tighten around my waist as she buried her forehead in my chest. _

_Hearing her tell me how much she was going to miss me._

_Touching her face, tilting it up so I could brush my lips against hers._

_Deepening the kiss when her tongue swept across my bottom lip and she opened herself to me._

_Whispering goodbye with the promise to talk when I got back home._

I lifted my head, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. How I had gotten so lucky in just barely a week's time was beyond me. I still couldn't believe how my life had changed – for the better and with the promise of more to come.

Eventually, when the cold started to seep in, I climbed out of the car, grabbed my bags, and climbed the stairs to my apartment. It was freezing inside, and I immediately set to making the place habitable.

Things were set up from before I left, but there were still boxes everywhere. I needed groceries, and I still had some Christmas shopping to do before my parents arrived.

After I'd thrown a load of laundry in the washing machine – grateful I'd decided to pay the extra fifty dollars a month to have one – and placed an order for Chinese food, I sat down with my last remaining beer and dialed Bella's number.

It was close to six there, and I hoped she would be home. She'd told me she had errands and shopping to do all day.

The phone rang four times, and I was sure I was going to have to leave a voice mail when I heard a breathless, "Hello."

I grinned. Just hearing her voice put me in such a great mood. "Hey," I said. "You sound out of breath."

She laughed. "I was carrying bags in from the car when I heard the phone ring. I had to run to get it." I heard her take a deep breath on the other end of the line. "So you made it home." It was a statement more than a question.

"I did. There's tons of snow on the ground, and it's freezing. I also managed to get a bit of a head start on making the place livable."

She laughed. "And by livable I assume you mean you've got beer in the fridge and take out's on the way."

It was my turn to laugh. "Ha ha," I said.

"Is that 'ha ha' as in you're on crack, or 'ha ha' as in I'm totally right?" she prodded. I could hear the sassy edge to her voice, and I knew if we were in the same room she'd have her eyebrows arched and her eyes would be glinting with mischief.

"The latter, you sassy wench. Sam Adams and Chinese, for the record."

"I knew it," she gloated.

We spent the next twenty minutes talking about nothing, but it felt like everything. When the buzzer sounded, I quickly buzzed the guy up, telling Bella to hold on. She waited quietly on the other end of the line while I paid the guy and took my food.

My stomach growled as the smell of chicken fried rice, egg rolls, and wonton soup filled the air. I grabbed the chopsticks from the bag and my box of rice and quickly dug in, listening as she told me she was leaving the next day for Charlie's house.

"Will Sue be there?" I asked after swallowing a mouthful of hot rice.

"Yep. I'm actually looking forward to spending a couple of days with them. It's been a while since I've been home, and now that she and dad are finally being open about their relationship, it won't be nearly as awkward."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I could tell they were both hiding something. They've been friends for a long time, but it was like there was always something under the surface, you know? Like they were very touchy or were always watching each other, but when I would ask or say something, they'd pretend nothing was going on.

"Trust me, I plan to give them hell about it," she said with a laugh.

"I bet the look on his face will be priceless," I joked. I'd met Charlie a few times when Bella and I were still together. He'd always seemed like a nice guy. I couldn't help but wonder what he'd think about Bella and I being back together.

"So… are you planning to tell your dad that you're coming here? About us?"

"I already did, actually."

"You did?"

"Mhmm. I talked to him earlier today and told him about us and a little about our week."

I wanted to ask what she'd told him, especially the part about us, but decided not to press. "And he was okay with it?"

She laughed, almost snorted. "Uh, Edward, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not seventeen anymore. I'm a grown woman and can make my own decisions."

I backpedaled. "I know. I didn't mean it like _that_. I just assumed he probably wouldn't be that thrilled given what happened between us before."

"Oh. Well, he trusts my judgment, and in the end, I make my own decisions." She was being very matter-of-fact, almost like she was trying to tell me something that I wasn't fully getting.

"I didn't mean to imply anything, Bella. I hope you didn't take it that way. I was just… being stupid."

"Edward, stop. I didn't take it any way. My dad and I are close, but we're more like friends than father-daughter. It's been that way for a long time. That's one of the reasons I feel like I can tease him and Sue about their secret relationship, you know."

I hummed in agreement. "That makes sense."

The line got quiet for a second. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too," she said softly.

A sort of heaviness I attributed to the distance hung in the air between us.

"I guess I should probably let you go, huh?" I said reluctantly, not wanting to lose my connection to her.

"Yeah, I guess I should get this stuff put away and pack for my trip."

"Will you call me before you leave tomorrow morning?"

"How about I call you while I drive? I know you'll be at work, but maybe you can spare a few minutes?"

I grinned. "Absolutely. Just call whenever. If I don't answer my phone, I'll call you back, okay?"

"Sounds good. Night, Edward."

"Night, Bella."

After I hung up the phone, I finished eating. I felt light, happy. As I turned on the TV, I allowed the droning voices to fill the quiet in my apartment. I had a lot to do before Bella arrived, and over the next few days, I intended to make things as warm and welcoming for her as I possibly could.

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><p>Love how you are all cheering for him. Researchward is a fighter... js.<p> 


	27. Chapter 27: Song

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

I had some questions about the timeline. I'll start putting the day/date at the top, so everyone's clear where we are and how close to NYE we are.

**Word Prompt: Song**

**Thursday, 22 December**

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><p>The next day at work passed by in a blur of meetings. I spent the first few hours with Ben, talking through everything that had happened in Seattle and a notional plan for the future. It looked like there might be a possibility to temporarily assign two of my team members to the Seattle site for a couple of months. If that were to occur, I would be travelling there on a regular basis.<p>

Of course, I told Ben that was fine by me. I kept Bella to myself. He didn't need to know the details about my relationship with her, and I didn't want to jinx it before it really got off the ground.

My phone rang, and I pulled it out of my pocket. I smiled. Bella's name flashed across the screen, and I immediately excused myself and told Ben I needed to take it.

"Hey," I said as I walked back to my office.

"Morning," she said brightly.

I could hear the low hum of traffic in the background. "You on the road?"

"I am. Just got on the highway, actually."

We proceeded to talk for the next twenty minutes while I messed around at my desk. I asked her if there was anything special she wanted to do while she was here. She told me to surprise her and then amended her answer to say she'd like to see the Princeton campus. I told her about some of the things we could see while she here – the woods near Princeton Battlefield Park, Trenton Grounds for Sculpture, the farmer's market, not to mention my work campus, and just my local hang outs with friends. She seemed excited the more we talked about it, and hearing her enthusiasm and some of her questions made me feel really good.

I glanced at the clock and realized I really needed to get back to work.

"I can't wait for you to get here, Bella." Wednesday couldn't come fast enough.

"I'm excited, too."

"Look, I have to get back to work, but will you call or text me when you get there?" I knew she was more than capable of making the drive on her own. She was safe, but holiday traffic was always a little crazy.

"Of course. Hope the day passes quickly and you get all your shopping done."

"Thanks. Me too. I only have a few more to get, but you know how the malls are," I said, groaning at the thought of battling the crowds.

She laughed. "I completely understand. Oh… by the way, I saw you left something under my tree."

I swallowed. "Uh… yeah, I did. Did you open it?"

"Not yet. I didn't know if I was supposed to. When did you do that?"

I figured I could spin this and be playful. "That's for me to know. I can't give away all my secrets."

She giggled. "Fine. Be that way."

"I will," I said, laughing with her.

"Fine. We're not done talking about this, yet. Go back to work."

"I will. And yes we are."

"Whatever." I knew she was probably rolling her eyes, but I could hear the playful tone of her voice, and I loved that I could make her smile even from across the country.

"Be safe, Bella."

We hung up, and I tossed my phone on my desk and sank back into my chair. I didn't want to go to my meeting. I didn't want to do anything except talk to her, and it felt weird to admit that. I had never been that type of guy. I had always been content to just bury myself in my work and engage in the normal give and take of relationships. It was rare that I wasn't able to compartmentalize my thoughts and focus on the matter at hand. In fact, not even when Vic and I first started dating, when things had been new, fun, and exciting, did I act – or feel – this way. It was strange and different, but it felt good, all the same.

~*WS*~

By the time I pulled into the parking garage at the mall, I was already irritated. I'd left the office later than I'd planned, and traffic was a complete nightmare. Apparently, everyone else needed to get some last minute shopping done, as well. I walked inside and was almost instantly overwhelmed by the number of people surging through the corridors. I pushed my way through and found the first store I needed.

My mom was a candle nut, and every year I got her candles. She once told me if I ever switched it up, she'd be mad at me for the entire year. So, without fail, I came to her favorite shop, bought the coolest new scent or whatever new crazy candle gadget there was. I roamed the store, overwhelmed by the smell and the endless tables and shelves of brightly colored jars.

"Can I help you, sir?" a young lady in a blue and green apron asked.

"That would be great," I said. "I'm looking for a gift for my mom. She loves candles and the other things you have here."

She smiled kindly. I liked her. "Let me show you a few things." I followed after her, and she talked me through a handful of items.

"What's your favorite?" I asked. My head was starting to hurt from smelling too many candles.

"Personally, I like these diffusers. They're pretty, they can be refilled, and they produce a well-balanced scent."

"Okay, I'll take a set. Whatever you think will make the best gift."

She nodded. "Very good. Let me just ring these up and put them in a gift box for you."

I thanked her, and after paying, walked out of the store, relieved for the fresh air.

Next, I made my way to the bookstore at the other end of the mall, grabbed my dad the book my mom had told me he wanted and a gift card for whatever else he might like. As I was checking out, I heard that peppy "Shorty" song I'd heard the day I'd broken up with Vic and marveled again at how much my life had changed.

A glance at my watched revealed it was almost eight. I couldn't believe I'd been in the mall for over two hours. I decided to grab a sandwich and head home. I was tired and still had stuff to do at my apartment.

I was about to exit the mall when I walked by Pottery Barn. Normally, I'd stay away from a place like that. It was too overwhelming, and I didn't know the first thing about home décor. I realized, however, that I needed to get a blanket and some pillows for the guest bedroom. So, I decided to go in.

I must have had that lost look on my face, because almost immediately an older saleslady with a kind smile came up and asked if I needed help. I explained I was trying to get something for my guest bedroom and that I was starting from scratch. She smiled and asked me a couple questions about colors and preferences. I told her I was pretty much open to anything.

She showed me a handful of different bed covers but nothing really felt right. Bella wasn't really a flower type person, and neither was I. I didn't want the guest bedroom to be too girly; Emmett, James, and Peter would never let me live that down.

I was just about to thank her for her time, when a simple white bed set caught my eye. I pointed it out, and the saleslady walked me over to it.

"This is our Cameron Organic Matelasse set. It's made from organic cotton, and that tight weave you see there is designed to give it a quilt-like look and feel."

I had no idea what she was talking about, but I ran my hand over it, nonetheless. It was soft. I liked it.

We'd only briefly talked about sleeping arrangements. I'd offered to get her a hotel room, but she told me my guest room would be more than fine. I had no idea how I was going to make it through the night knowing only a thin wall separated us. As much as I appreciated her need to take things slow, I knew having her in my home, day and night would most definitely take its toll on me.

If Bella wasn't going to be sleeping with me – a thought I'd managed to keep at bay – then making sure she had something soft and warm to cuddle under at night was the least I could do.

"I'll take it."

"Perfect." She went on to ask if I needed anything else, and I decided I might as well get whatever else she thought would go with it. As she was showing me throw pillows in various colors, I kept thinking about how soft that quilt was and decided I wanted one for my bed, too.

"You know, I think I'd like to get a second set, but maybe in that light brown color."

She looked at me, clearly surprised, but eagerly nodded her head. By the time I checked out, I had a lot less cash, two new bedroom sets, new towels, washcloths, and a bathmat, and enough brightly colored pillows to make any interior decorator smile with glee.

It took three trips to carry everything, but by the time I got it all home, made the beds, changed out the towels in the bathroom, and stood back to take a look, I knew I'd made the right choice. The place felt like a home, not just a cold apartment. I still had some stuff I wanted to do, like put up pictures and make the place look like I actually lived there, but it would do for now.

I had a phone date with my girl to get to.

* * *

><p>I didn't have a chance to respond to all your lovely reviews, but I read each and every one of them. Thank you for always taking the time to say what you think or how this story makes you feel. You guys are all pulling for Researchward. He's working hard.<p>

I will do my best to update this weekend. I have a big cupcake order due on Sunday, so I'm not sure how much time I'll have for writing!

Thanks loves! Have a great weekend... and don't forget to tell me what you think of Edward's little shopping spree!


	28. Chapter 28: Spine

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

I had some questions about the timeline. I'll start putting the day/date at the top, so everyone's clear where we are and how close to NYE we are.

**Word Prompt: Spine**

**Friday, 23 December**

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><p>I opened the door to the smiling faces of my parents, bundled up and carrying bags of Christmas gifts.<p>

"Edward!" my mom cried as she pushed through the door and threw her arms around my neck.

I stumbled back, laughing and wrapping my arms around her small frame. I breathed in the familiar scent of her perfume and felt the warmth that only mothers can give.

"Hey, Mom," I said, pressing a kiss against her cheek.

"You look different," she said as she stepped back, holding me at arm's length, and looked me over.

I laughed. "You always say that. Now, let's let dad in."

My dad laughed and walked in as we stepped aside. We shook hands as he pulled me into a hug and then released me with a pat on the shoulder. "Good to see you, Son."

"I'm glad you guys are here," I said to them both, taking the bags out of my mom's hands and setting them on the table.

I turned back and mom was moving into the living room, her eyes roving and inspecting. She turned and glared at me.

"You don't have a Christmas tree."

I looked in the living room and nodded, my nose scrunched as I reached across and nervously scratched the side of my face. In all the hubbub, I hadn't even thought about getting a Christmas tree.

"Yeah... I sort of forgot to get one." I chanced a glance at my dad who was smirking. He knew what was coming.

"Well," my mom said, "I suppose we'll just have to go shopping. What else do we need?"

I shook my head. My mother had always been a whirlwind of productivity, and the holidays were like her very own version of crack. She was a decorating machine, always had been, and it was clear my apartment did not pass muster.

After a lengthy look around the house, Mom had a list – a long list – of Christmas stuff, food, and other random things she thought I needed. Dad and I sat back, beers in hand, and let her work. We had both learned long ago to stay out of her way when she got like that. Still, it felt strange that my mom was still taking care of me, even at thirty-two.

"So, how are things, Son?" my dad asked after a taking a sip of his beer.

"Good. Great, actually." I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face.

"Oh yeah?"

I took a drink and then leaned forward, resting my forearms on the tops of my legs. "I met someone."

He lifted his eyebrows in surprise but didn't say anything.

I proceeded to tell him about my break up with Vic, the move out, and my trip to Seattle. I told him about Bella, how things had sort of just happened between us, and that she was coming to visit for New Years. All the while, he listened quietly, albeit surprised, smiling and nodding in all the appropriate places.

"Sounds like you got lucky as hell," he said after I'd finished. "To have found her again after all this time."

I snorted. "That's putting it lightly. The fact that she even agreed to meet me for coffee after the way I behaved in her office that day was a small miracle. For her to even be willing to give us a chance is like… unbelievable." I knew I sounded sappy and over the moon happy, but I was and it was hard contain it.

"What's this about a new girl?" my mom said as she plopped down on the couch, whisking my bottle from my hands and taking a sip.

I narrowed my eyes at her playfully and grinned. "I'll tell you in the car."

Three hours later, we had purchased a small Christmas tree, a stand, decorations, a ton of groceries, and other random odds and ends that mom felt I needed. I retold the story of meeting Bella and how things had sort of just happened over the last week. She was equally surprised but just as delighted. I knew my parents had liked Bella when they met her during college, but like all things, they supported my decision to move on and hadn't really second guessed my choice.

"It's weird, Mom; I just feel like things are going to work out. I know it's only been a week, that things won't be easy, but I can't imagine her not being in my life. Even the last couple of days away from her have felt… off."

Mom smiled and brushed her hand across the top of mine, patting it gently. "These things have a way of working themselves out, dear. Do your best to put each other first, and I'm sure they will."

~*WS*~

I met my parents the next morning at Elements for brunch. The place was surprisingly full for Christmas Eve. Perhaps, like us, everyone wanted to enjoy one meal they didn't have to prepare themselves.

We talked and laughed. It was so easy spending time with my parents. We had always been close, fully invested in each other's lives. Growing up, they had allowed me to be independent, to pursue the things I was passionate about, but when it was time to go to UW I was glad for the break. I wanted to spread my wings, to figure out who I was away from their watchful – and loving – eyes. The move to Boston was my next chance to fly, to be free, and I had certainly done that, and at what I had come to realize had been at great personal cost.

Funny how a little time and new found perspective could make things seem so much clearer.

"Have you spoken to Bella today?" Mom asked as she took a bite of her salad.

I smiled. I couldn't help it. Hearing her voice early that morning had left me feeling excited and sad all at the same time. I couldn't wait to see her in just a few short days, but it sucked to be away from her on Christmas. Even thinking that made me feel silly, since it had only been like two weeks. Still, I wouldn't change the craziness of it at all.

"I did. I woke her up actually. I forgot about the time change, like a moron."

Mom rolled her eyes, and Dad chuckled. "I'm sure she was glad to hear from you, regardless," he said.

"Well, I don't know if glad is the right word, but she was gracious. I told her I'd call her later tonight."

"So, do you know what you're going to do while she's here?"

I shrugged. "I've got a few ideas. I know she wants to see the campus, and there are a couple of places I'd like to take her. Other than that, I was sort of planning to play it by ear."

"Sounds like a good plan, Son. Don't you think, Es?" my dad said while exchanging some weird look between them.

She grinned, her eyes sparkling mischievously. "I do. I assume the guest room that looks newly decorated will be her home away from home?"

I blushed. "Well," I sputtered. "I don't want to rush things, and can we just... not talk about _that_, mom?"

My mom died laughing. "Oh, Edward, you're no fun. It's not like you haven't gone there, anyway. And besides, I was just asking about the new bedspread and pillows in there. Which, you did remember to wash first, right?"

Sometimes talking to my mom gave me whiplash. She was all over the place. "Um, what? No, I didn't wash them. They're brand new."

"Oh, good grief. I thought I'd raised you better than that. You're supposed to wash new sheets and pillowcases. Did you wash the towels in the bathroom?"

The chagrined look on her face was all the answer she needed.

~*WS*~

I tucked the phone between my shoulder and ear as I remade the bed in Bella's room. Mom and I had stripped the beds, mine included, and washed all the new linens I'd purchased.

"Hi," I said, running my hand over the bedspread to get rid of the wrinkles.

"Hey," she said sort of breathy.

"You okay?"

"Yeah… just ran up the stairs to have some privacy."

I laughed. "I can call later, if it's a bad time…"

"Oh, no. We were actually just hanging out. Dad and Sue are watching a movie."

"Ahhh gotcha."

"So, how was your day," she asked.

I told her about brunch with my parents, walking through downtown to see the decorations, driving around to see lights, and then having my mom's homemade chicken stir-fry.

"Is that a tradition?" she asked.

"What? The stir-fry?"

"Mhmm."

"Oh. Well, not necessarily stir-fry but always Chinese on Christmas Eve. Sometimes we order in, sometimes we go out, or sometimes, like tonight, Mom makes it."

"That's fun. I don't think we really have any traditions like that. Mostly we just hang out, watch movies, and eat cookies," she said with a laugh.

"Sounds perfect to me." Pretty much anything with her would be.

There was a lull in the conversation. It wasn't uncomfortable, just one of those moments that often comes after a good chat and both parties are regrouping.

"So, my parents say hi."

"Oh, I didn't think they'd remember me," she said almost wistfully.

"Of course, they did. They think, well, my mom thinks it's sweet that we met again. She told me not to screw it up." I almost groaned as the memory of my mom's scathing tone flitted through my mind.

Bella sort of half laughed, and I wasn't sure what that meant.

"My mom wasn't happy when I told her the what had happened between us ten years ago."

She did that same nervous laugh. "I'm really sorry, Bella. I know I've already apologized, that we have both agreed to move forward and see where this goes, but I'm sorry I hurt you."

She sighed. "Thank you. I know you are, and I accept your apology. I'm comfortable and happy with where things are between us, that we're moving slowly, and just sort of relearning who we both are. You know?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I know."

I glanced at the clock. It was just after midnight.

"Merry Christmas, Bella," I said softly.

I heard rustling on her end, like she was rolling over to see the time for herself. "Merry Christmas, Edward."

The tone of the conversation changed as we talked about our plans for the next day, both promising to text or call when we found a free minute.

"So, when do I get to open my present?" she asked, pretending to be all innocent and sweet, but I could tell she was eager to see what I'd tucked under her tree.

"Tomorrow."

"But it's already Christmas," she sort of whined.

"Not where you are. You'll have to wait till morning," I teased, "like a good little girl."

She giggled. Like really giggled and just the sound of it filled me a happiness and warmth so intense it practically made my spine tingle.

"Fine. I can be patient. Maybe I won't even open it tomorrow. Maybe I'll bring it with me on Wednesday and open it there."

"Well, if you think you can hold out that long… which I know you can't, then be my guest."

She growled playfully then blew out a resigned breath. "I'll open it tomorrow."

I grinned from ear to ear. "That's what I thought."

I lay there, listening to the sound of her breath going in and out, and wished more than anything that I was with her. I wanted to pull her in close and bury my nose in her silky hair, to kiss that little spot between her neck and shoulder… with her permission, of course… and just _be_ with her.

"I wish I could see your face right now," I said, my voice low and bit rough.

"I miss you, too."

Silence filled the line once again, and I decided to wrap things up. There wasn't much more to be said without turning what had been a fun and playful conversation into something melancholy.

"I should probably let you go."

"Yeah," she said. "I still need to make a pumpkin pie for tomorrow." She paused. "Good night, Edward. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas." _Sweetheart._


	29. Chapter 29: Knife

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

PLEASE READ: Some of you read Chapter 28 and noted that Edward's parents didn't seem to know who Bella was. That was purely an oversight on my part and has been fixed. I modified parts of 28 elsewhere, too. So it may be worth skimming if you read it before 10am central yesterday (1/16).

**Word Prompt: Knife**

**Sunday, 25 December**

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><p>I woke up to the sound of the heater kicking on. I was burrowed underneath my new comforter, and to say I was glad I'd bought it would be an understatement. It was warm and soft, and I'd slept like a baby.<p>

I stretched, feeling all the muscles in my body burn in that delightful way only a good night's sleep can bring, and readjusted my pillow, tucking my arms beneath my head. I looked out the window. There was still a trace of snow outside, and even though I knew it wasn't supposed to snow, I still felt a hint of disappointment. There was something magical about the idea of a white Christmas.

I knew by the still lavender, grey morning that it was early, but it didn't stop me from reaching for my phone. I wanted to wish Bella a Merry Christmas. I knew I couldn't call her – not that early – but I could at least send a little message letting her know I'd been thinking about her when I woke up.

After punching it in, I clicked send, smiling at the way my chest felt equal parts tight with nerves and happiness. I showered and got dressed. My parents were set to arrive mid-morning, and I still had to throw the breakfast casserole together and prep a few other things.

If there was one thing my mom made sure I knew how to do, it was cook. She and I had spent hours in the kitchen, talking and cooking dinner when I was in high school. The fact I was sort of a loner and a self-proclaimed research geek, meant I was home a lot. She always told me if all else failed, make breakfast. Even for dinner, it was still a good meal, and it was hard to mess up bacon, eggs, and pancakes.

So, as I stood in the kitchen, knife in hand and Christmas music playing softly in the background, I threw together a breakfast casserole, complete with bacon, onions, hash browns, and cheese. Lots and lots of cheese. With that in the oven, I turned my attention to getting the ingredients for the afternoon meal prepped, just like mom had asked me to do.

The intercom buzzed, and I pressed the button to let my parents up. With the door ajar, I quickly went back to the kitchen to check on the casserole and to get the pancake batter ready.

They walked in, cheerful and all smiles, dressed nicely.

"Merry Christmas," I said, wiping my hands on the towel I'd tucked in my back pocket, and kissed Mom on the cheek and gave Dad a one-armed hug.

"Merry Christmas," they both said.

They shrugged off their coats, and while Dad hung them in the closet, Mom made her way into the kitchen.

"This smells amazing, Edward. What's cooking?"

I grinned. "Breakfast casserole. Oh, and pancakes," I said, reaching for the bowl and giving it another good mix.

Mom grabbed an apron, while Dad watched from the doorway.

"You want some coffee, Dad?"

"That'd be great, Son," he said, reaching out to take it as I handed him a steaming mug.

While Dad sipped his coffee and read the newspaper, Mom and I made quick work of getting breakfast on the table. Once it was ready, we sat in my small dining room, hands clasped, and said a prayer of thanks.

After the breakfast dishes had been cleared and the kitchen had been returned to proper order, I excused myself and went back to my room to check my phone. It was close to noon. I was disappointed to see that Bella hadn't responded to my original text. I thought about sending her another one, but that seemed a little… well, a little too much. I figured when she had a free minute, she'd respond. Setting my phone down, I went out to the family room and opened presents with my parents.

~*WS*~

"Hey, man," Emmett's voice boomed as he walked inside my apartment and smacked me on the back. "Long time no see."

I laughed. "No kidding."

I stepped aside and let Rose and the girls pass through. The girls were all squeals and giggles at the sight of me, and as I pulled them both in my arms, I couldn't help but laugh with them. While Christmas was for everyone, there was nothing more special than seeing the joy and excitement of little kids.

"So, tell me what you got from Santa," I said, settling the girls on my lap, one of each leg on the floor.

"I got a Pink Nintendo DS!" Emma shrieked, digging in the pocket of her coat to show me.

"I got one, too," Suzie cried, equally excited and digging in her own pocket for hers.

It was a race to see who could show me first, and as they shoved them both in my face at the same time, it took both me and Rose to get them to settle down. I made them each show me how to play whatever game they had in there. It was cute watching them get so excited.

"Should we do presents before dinner or after?" I asked, turning to Rose.

She looked at the girls and decided we could hold off for a bit. "They seem content to play their games for now. Let's not disturb the peace."

"Good point. You guys want something to drink? We've got beer, wine, iced tea, water…"

"Beer for me," Emmett said as he leaned back in his chair.

"I'll take a glass of wine, if it's open," Rose said, standing to help.

I waved her off and got their drinks, as well a beer for me, and topped off Mom and Dad's. We all sat around talking while the turkey cooked in the oven.

"So, what's been going on, man? You were gone to Seattle a lot longer than you expected," Emmett said, swallowing a mouthful of beer.

"Yeah, the trip got extended. What I thought would just be a down and back, ended up being really productive. A couple people from the team came out and did some work with the team that's already there. Our combined efforts looks really promising." I smiled. I still couldn't believe how lucky we'd gotten with that little catch in that journal article.

"Sweet. Looks like you've been busy since you got back." He waved his hand around, indicating all the decorating that I'd – well, Mom – had managed to get done in the two days she'd been there.

"Yeah, well… it's been an eventful week and a half."

Emmett looked at me, his eyebrows furrowed. A quick glance at Rose revealed a quirked eyebrow and weird glint in her eyes. Mom and Dad sat back, smiles firmly in place, and waited for me to fill in my best friend and his wife.

"What's going on?" Emmett asked, his eyes dancing around the room.

I laughed, rubbing the back of my neck. He was going to think I was completely insane. He knew me better than anyone else, and I had never been in so deep… ever.

I told him how I'd run in to Bella, explaining who she was, how we knew each other and had dated ten years ago, how we'd talked through a lot of stuff, that we'd spent pretty much all our free time together the week I'd been there.

Emmett tipped his head up, and I just shook my head. "Don't even go there, Em."

He had the sense to look a bit chagrinned, but not really. He couldn't help himself.

Rose, on the other hand, was not nearly as kind.

"Wait. So, you dumped this girl ten years ago?" Rose asked, her eyes narrowed menacingly? "And she took you back?"

When she put it like that it sounded terrible. "I guess if you're being completely blunt and factual, that's how it might seem-"

She held up her hand. "I'm pretty sure how it seems is how it was." She snorted and shook her head. "I cannot wait to meet this girl. She's either amazing or completely stupid."

My spine stiffened. "Hold up, Rose. First off-"

Emmett put his hand on Rose's knee and gave it a slight squeeze. "Rose, baby," he said, his voice firm but gentle, "that's enough."

She looked at him, her cheeks pink and her eyes intense. "I was just… how do you know she's not just trying to get back at you for hurting her? I don't want to see you get hurt, Edward."

I knew her overly harsh assessment had come from a place of love, but it still stung. Bella wasn't there to defend herself, and I sure as hell wasn't going to let them think anything of the sort about her.

"Because she's not like that. She's… well, she's amazing. I know I don't deserve another chance with her. I messed shi-stuff up," I said, glancing over at the girls. "But I'm not the same person I was back then, and what she and I have is special. I'm not going to let distance or whatever other obstacles come up to stand in our way. I'm all in. As ridiculous as it sounds, especially with it only being like 2 weeks, but I just know. Deep down, I know she's it for me."

I finished my impassioned speech and knew every word I'd said was the truth.

"And with that, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see if she responded to my text."

When I got to my room, I was relieved to see the flashing red indicator on my phone. I picked it up and smiled. She and I had managed to exchange a few texts throughout the day, but there really hadn't been much of a chance to talk. She and Sue were cooking for Charlie, as well as Sue's entire family.

**IS: Things are crazy here. The house is full of people, and it's impossible to get away. Maybe we can talk late tonight?**

Even though the gathering at my place was small, it was still a lot. I couldn't imagine having close to twenty people in my home, much less cooking for them.

**EC: Sounds intense. We're gearing up for dinner and then some presents to open with the girls. I'll text you when we're done. Have fun tonight, B.**

I waited a second before I set my phone back down on my nightstand, in hopes she might respond, but she didn't. I had explained who Em and Rose were, as well the girls, and told her they'd be over for dinner. After the exchange I'd just had with Rose, I wasn't sure it was such a good idea to introduce Bella to them. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable or put on the spot, but then again, these were my friends. I needed to figure out how to go about it, without all the drama.

A sound at the door startled me, and I turned to see Rose standing in the doorway, a contrite expression on her face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off like that," she said, her arms folding across her chest and then dropping down by her sides.

"It's okay. I know you meant well, but Rose, Bella is important to me. I have never felt the way I do about her for anyone. I don't have a label for it, but I can tell you this – it's real.

"Like I said, we've got a lot of time to make up for, and we still have baggage to discuss. What I didn't say out there, is that she's coming here on Wednesday and will be here through New Years Day. We're trying to make this work, and I want it to, so bad."

God, did I ever. I had successfully managed to push aside a lot of my fears about the distance and all the barriers that we would likely face, but they were there, under the surface.

Rose nodded her head. "So, do we get to meet her?"

"Are you going to be nice?"

Rose grinned devilishly. "Of course."

I glared at her. "I mean it, Rose. She's important."

"All right. I get it. Yes, I'll be a perfect angel, and I'll make sure Em doesn't hit on her."

We both laughed at that and walked back to the living room.

~*WS*~

I yawned and glanced at my phone. Bella had sent a text saying everyone had decided to stay for games, and she didn't know how late she'd be. She didn't want me to wait up, but I was anyway.

After dinner and presents, we'd all hung out for a bit longer, but the girls were tired and on the verge of a meltdown. So, they'd all left around nine o'clock.

By ten-thirty, everything had been cleaned and put away. I'd even managed to grab a quick shower before climbing into bed, dog tired.

I tried to read, but I couldn't concentrate. I didn't realize how badly I wanted to hear her voice, and the fact she was unavailable to me just sucked. A ball of disappointment settled in the pit of my stomach as Christmas Day came to a close.

By the time my eyes closed and I drifted to sleep, I still hadn't talked to her.

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><p>Thanks for the love!<p> 


	30. Chapter 30: Beside

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

This chapter is in your box courtesy of the very encouraging words and support of three special ladies - mycrookedsmile, jennde, and jadsmama. Thanks for helping me regain some perspective and for your eyes this chapter. xoxo

**Word Prompt: Beside**

**Monday, 26 December**

* * *

><p>The sound of buzzing beside my head roused me from sleep. I peered through one barely open eye and saw it was just after midnight. The buzzing continued until I realized with a start it was my phone. I fumbled around with it and felt my chest tighten when I saw Bella's name on the screen.<p>

**IS: Are you still awake?**

**EC: I am now. :) **

**IS: Sorry! I didn't mean to wake you. Everyone just left.**

I didn't even bother to text her back as I listened to the phone ring. I'd wanted to hear her voice all day, and I could barely contain myself.

"Merry Christmas," she said softly when she answered the phone.

"Merry Christmas. Did you have a good day?"

"Mhmm. I'm exhausted though. The house was crazy pretty much all day, and then Sue's extended family randomly stopped by. I was glad I'd already made so much food, or we wouldn't have had enough," she said with a laugh.

"Sounds like it was hectic. Hopefully fun, too?"

"Oh yeah. It was good spending time with everyone. We spent most of the time talking and playing games. But the highlight of the night was how open and relaxed Charlie and Sue were together. I guess they finally decided they didn't need to hide their relationship anymore… not that they ever really needed to anyway."

"How'd they take your teasing?" I asked, remembering her saying she was going to get him for keeping it a secret. I had only met Charlie a handful of times when we were dating the first time, but I remembered him being somewhat serious and standoffish, so it was a little hard to imagine him having a different response.

She laughed. "Well, at first, I'm not sure he knew what to think. I swear I saw him blush at one point. I seriously almost died, Edward. It was absolutely hysterical when I called him out on it. He was stammering and trying to act like he had no idea what I was talking about. Eventually he loosened up and admitted they'd been together for a while, that he really liked her a lot.

"I told him I was really happy for him, and I guess I sort of gave him my blessing, not that he needed my approval. I'm happy he finally found someone who could give him what he needs, you know?"

"I do, and that's really great." I knew exactly what she meant. When you finally see things clearly, everything else just sort of falls by the wayside. "So, did you get anything fun Christmas?" I asked, wanting to hear her talk some more. I loved hearing her voice. It was soft and a little throaty, and made my body ache with longing. I imagined what it would be like if she was lying beside me, and just the thought had me yearning for Wednesday to get here that much faster.

I knew things wouldn't be as simple as her climbing into my bed. I wasn't delusional enough to think that things had changed that much since I'd left Seattle. We still had some growing and learning to do, but there was something about having her near that made me feel warm and at peace. I closed my eyes and could see her flushed cheeks, her lips still pink from the kiss we'd shared, and her eyes – those little gold flecks looking like warm honey in her already gorgeous browns. I could not wait to see her.

"… we usually just do something small. This year, though, he surprised me, and I'm pretty sure Sue had a hand in it."

I realized she had been talking and felt badly for zoning out. "Oh, yeah?"

"They got me this really beautiful set of classic novels – Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice, to name a few. The covers are this dark, rich blue with gold lettering. I seriously couldn't believe they'd found something like that," she said, and I could hear the happiness in her voice.

"Wow! I can't wait to see them sometime."

"Maybe the next time you're in Seattle."

"Definitely. In fact, I didn't get the chance to tell you, but it looks like a couple people from my team are going to be out there on temporary assignment. So, I'll be making a some more trips, as well."

"Really?" she asked, her voice rising slightly.

"Yep. So with your visit here and mine out there, we'll be able to see each other pretty regularly." I let that hang in the air, hoping for a positive reaction.

She didn't disappoint. "That's great!" She paused and started to say something and then asked how my Christmas was, instead.

I thought it was interesting but didn't press. If she wanted to tell me something or ask, she would. "Great. It was good having my parents here. I told you Emmett, Rose, and their girls were coming, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, the girls are actually twins, and they're my goddaughters. They were really cute when they got to open their presents. I had no idea hair bows, Barbies, and video games would be so well received. They squealed when they opened them. It was fun."

"Sounds like you spoiled them perfectly. How old are they?"

I laughed. "Oh, they're five. A little rambunctious, but I wouldn't have them any other way."

"Will I get the chance to meet them when I'm there? And your friends" she asked. I could hear the hesitance, the question in her voice, and I quickly reassured her.

"Absolutely. I told them about you, and they are looking forward to meeting you."

I thought about my confrontation with Rose. She'd always been exceptionally protective of me, and really all of our friends. She'd watched her little brother battle with and die from leukemia. As a result, she was slow to open up to people, but once she did she was fiercely protective of them. It was a little intense, like it had been earlier in the evening, but I knew it came from a place of concern and love. I had no doubt once she met Bella, she would love her.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yep! Now, on to some serious business. I do believe, my sweet girl, you have a present to open."

She giggled. "I do! Should I just go for it?"

I laughed. She was so damn cute. God, I wished I could see her face. "Absolutely."

I heard the ripping and crumpling of paper in the background, the slight catch of her breath, and started to feel nervous. When I'd seen the snow globe, I knew immediately I wanted to get it for her. The little row of shops behind the beautifully decorated Christmas tree was an almost perfect replica of Pike's Place market. I wanted her to have something to remember our date there, remember me by when I wasn't around. That night was, for me, the beginning of what felt like the start of something truly special. I really hoped she liked it.

Silence filled the air, and I waited for her to say something.

"Edward, this is… so beautiful. The tree…"

I heard the click-click-click of her winding it up and the tinkling sounds of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" play softly.

The whole song played through, and I just listened, my heart practically pounding out of my chest. I felt like I might explode with anticipation and happiness. She liked it, was speechless even, and I hoped it conveyed to her just how important I felt that night was for us, how important it was to me.

When the music stopped, I waited and then quietly said her name, wanting to tell her exactly how I felt, but she spoke up before I got the chance.

"Thank you. This is… perfect. I love it, Edward. Truly," she said, her voice so soft, so quiet.

"That night, Bella… I can't tell you what it means to me. I know we have a lot to say and so many things working against us, but I…" _like you. Feel so many things I don't know how to put into words. _"I want to make this work between us, and I can't wait to see you on Wednesday."

"Me, too."

She didn't specify what "me, too" meant, but I didn't care. Just the fact she shared even part of my sentiment was enough for me, enough to make my chest tighten and my breath to whoosh out of me. It was enough to get through the next two days.

We talked for a little while longer, but it was clear we were both tired. We agreed to talk the next day while she was on the road back to Seattle. I was grateful the office was closed for the entire Christmas break. I didn't have to worry about taking time off or deadlines or anything of that stuff while she was visiting.

"I guess we should say goodnight, huh?" she said.

"Yeah. Probably." _But I don't want to. _"Night, sweet girl," I said.

"Night, Edward."

Just as I was about to hang up I heard the click-click-click of the snow globe and an easy, content smile spread across my face as the first few notes of the song played and the phone line went dead.


	31. Chapter 31: Flicker

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Flicker**

**Monday, 26 December**

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><p>I waved goodbye to my parents as they pulled out of the restaurant parking lot and headed to the airport. I felt a flicker of sadness as I watched them go, but we'd made plans to get together in Chicago at the end of February for Mom's birthday. It wouldn't be long before I saw them again.<p>

A few minutes later, I climbed into the car and drove home. I messed around with the television for a few minutes but nothing caught my attention. I turned it off and grabbed the book I'd started before my parents had arrived and tried to read, but it felt like I was wading through a bog of random letters. With a snap, I closed it and put it back down.

I was waiting for Bella to call. She'd text while I was at brunch to say she, Charlie, and Sue were going to get breakfast and then she'd get on the road. I was excited to talk to her without the pressure of getting back to company or being exhausted.

In the meantime, I was bored. I walked from room to room, making sure things were in order, straightened towels and bedspreads, and even threw a load of laundry in the washing machine. I pulled out my phone and saw it was after one o'clock. I wasn't really hungry yet, but I found myself standing in front of the open refrigerator, staring blindly at the contents.

I closed the door and hoisted myself up on the counter. It was sunny outside but still too cold to just go hang out and take a walk. I had no idea what people did during the day if they didn't work. It was too quiet in the apartment. I felt like climbing the walls, and I'd really only been off work one day.

I texted Em. Nothing.

I texted Peter. Nothing.

I texted James. Nothing.

Where the hell were my friends, and why wasn't anyone answering their phones? Annoyed and frustrated at myself for being so lame, I tossed my phone on the counter, slid down on to the kitchen floor, and went to turn on some music. I needed something to fill the silence, so I didn't go insane.

I scrolled through my iPod and basically dismissed anything that wouldn't get me moving. I settled on Thousand Foot Krutch, knowing the electric guitar and pounding bass would ignite _something_ in me. Whenever I was knee deep in research and the data started to blur, they were my go-to band.

I heard the quick strums of the electric guitar and then bam, the drums and "Move" blared. It was just the jolt I needed. I made myself a turkey sandwich and heated up some of the other leftovers, all the while air guitaring in the kitchen.

At some point deep in the throes of "Rawkfist," I saw my phone light up. I dashed over to the counter and snatched it up, only to see that James had responded.

**JH: What's up?**

**EC: You busy?**

**JH: Workin'. Why?**

**EC: Wanted to see if you wanted to hang out.**

**JH: Like a date?**

**EC: You're an idiot. Maybe dinner with Peter and Em if they're free.**

**JH: Sure. Let me know the plan.**

**EC: Will do.**

I set my phone back down and decided to call Emmett. He didn't answer, but I left a voicemail seeing if he wanted to meet up for beers. When I got a hold of Peter, he said he and Angela were having Christmas with her family that evening, so he was definitely out. Regardless, I texted James and told him to meet me at Alchemist at six.

I glanced at my phone and saw it was close to two and still no word from Bella. I quickly did the math in my head and realized it was only eleven her time, but it still seemed like a late start.

**EC: Hope you had a good breakfast with Charlie and Sue. You on the road yet?**

**IS: Just wrapped up. Took longer than expected. Getting on the road in like 10. Call me? **

I smiled. Hell yes I would call her.

I paced the room for fifteen minutes. At some point in there I grabbed a beer and took a couple long swallows and then decided to call her. I felt like an overeager teenager about to ask my dream girl to the prom. I also didn't want to seem pushy or overly needy (which was stupid because that's exactly how I felt, and to be honest, I was sort of okay with it), so I waited an extra five minutes.

Finally, I said screw it and called her.

I heard the sound of cars in the background and then her sweet voice when she answered the phone.

"Hey, Edward," she said.

"Hey, sweet girl, how are you? How was breakfast?"

She laughed. "Sweet girl, huh?"

My first instinct was to backtrack and apologize, but I decided not to. That's how I felt. She was sweet. She was a girl. And I liked calling her that. "Uh, yeah. Is that okay?"

"Yes. I sort of like it."

"Sort of?"

"Well, I'm not used to anyone calling me anything other than Bella or Dr. Swan, so it'll take a little getting used to. I could hear the mirth and laughter in her voice, and I just smiled.

"Then I'll just have to say it more often until you are used to it, won't I?"

~*WS*~

Dinner that night was good. Emmett ended up joining at the last minute. He and Rose were planning to see a movie, but one Emma got sick. He'd offered to stay home, but she'd shooed him away. I suspected it had something to do with her hoping I'd spill a bit more on Bella, but I knew she'd never fess up to it.

I told James about Bella, and he thought it was "cool" that we were back together after all these years. Beyond that, the bulk of our conversation was about football and hockey.

As we parted, we agreed to get together on Friday night at James' place for pizza and beer. I wanted them to meet Bella and for her to meet them. I was nervous, but the guys had been a huge part of my life since I'd moved to Princeton; I wanted her to see who I was and what my life was like.

**Tuesday, 27 December**

I woke up exhausted. Bella and I had talked late into the night. After she'd arrived home and gotten settled, we'd spent the better part of her evening and my night talking.

Just listening to her talk about nothing of consequence was perfect. I mean, I loved hearing about the deep stuff, too, but more than anything it was like we were sharing the little bits of our days. It made me feel closer and more connected to her, and I hoped when she arrived the next day, it would be seamless.

After a quick shower and breakfast, I decided to run some errands. I wanted to stock the fridge, make a trip to the liquor store and florist, and pick up some small things for the bathroom that my mom had thought might be nice. It seemed like overkill to me, but then she reminded me that sometimes people forget stuff by accident, and that it was nice to have extras lying around.

I couldn't disagree with that. Of course, when I found myself standing in front of the vast array of colored bottles all with the words "Body Wash" on them, I wanted to kick myself for listening to my mother. I picked up a bottle of something that looked like it might smell nice. It had flowers and was pink, but the scent made me cringe. Just the thought of Bella washing her body with that made me shiver. And not in a good way.

Several bottles later, I'd settled on two that smelled nice – Cherry Pomegranate and Evenly Gorgeous. I tried not to read too much into the brand name – Caress – but just the idea of Bella in my shower, naked, rubbing this stuff on her body, left me feeling less than comfortable in my jeans and more than ready to get the hell out of there. An extra toothbrush and toothpaste, some soft squishy thing, a pack of condoms for good measure, and I was out of there.

By the time I got home, I was keyed up. I'd thought about Bella the entire drive home, while I was putting stuff in the bathroom for her, and when I put the vase of flowers on the table by her bed. I had no idea how I was going to make it another day. Just the thought of seeing her again, of wrapping my arms around her was almost too much. Then again, I knew how hard it was to be near her and not touch her, and it wasn't a walk in the park either.

Thus far, touching her hadn't been an option, and in truth, it probably still wasn't. Not that I couldn't hold her hand and stuff, but I wanted some kind of sign from her before we went any further. Barring some unexpected series of events, I had already pretty much decided nothing like that would happen between us while she was visiting. I knew it wasn't all up to me, but her words from before still rang loud and clear – "I need to believe we can have more than just _that._"

In the few days we'd been apart, there was no doubt in my mind that what we had was special, what I felt for her was more than just some casual thing. I had one goal, well two, for her visit: continue to regain her trust, which I planned to do by being completely honest with her and opening up my life for her to see who I had become, and to get to know her even better. If I could do that – if we could do that together – that we'd be in a good place for when we were apart again.

Later that night, after another round of checking to make sure everything was perfect, I climbed into bed with my phone. Bella and I had texted most of the afternoon. She had been busy packing and taking care of last minute details before she left Seattle. We'd agreed to talk at eleven my time, and it was almost time.

As I settled in and burrowed under my new blankets, I was grateful I'd gotten an exact match for my bed, as well. I hoped Bella would be comfortable enough.

My phone rang, and I didn't even look at the screen.

"Hey, sweet girl."

Her answering giggle made me grin. "Hi."

"You all packed?" Just the thought of her all packed and ready to go had my stomach twisting nervously.

"Almost. I have a few last minute things to throw in my bag. So, I've packed mostly jeans and casual stuff, thinking we'd mostly be hanging out and sightseeing, but then I wasn't sure if maybe I should pack something… I don't know a little nicer?"

_Lingerie?_ The thought came unbidden to my mind, and I suppressed a groan just thinking about the way she looked in skimpy lace.

I imagined her nervously biting her lip and half groaned, half chuckled. "Well, most of the time we'll just be messin' aro- eh, I mean hanging out." I literally smacked myself in the forehead as thoughts of the two of us on the couch flooded my mind. Good grief.

She laughed. "I knew what you meant."

"Right… well, anyway," I said, still flustered, "there's a couple of places we could go that are nicer. So, maybe just in case?"

_Don't go there, Edward. _

"Sounds like a plan," she said. I heard some rustling in the background and wondered what she was doing.

"What're you doing? It sounds like shrieking metal over there," I said, trying not to be too nosy.

"Oh, sorry. I was just looking through my closet," she said, distractedly.

"Honestly, Bella, you could walk around in pjs and a t-shirt and you'd be perfect. Whatever you bring will be fine."

She hummed softly. "You're good, mister. Flattery will get you everywhere, you know?" she said sweetly.

I hadn't meant it as flattery. It was the truth. She was beautiful, in every way.

"Well, it's not flattery if it's the truth."

There was a slight lull in the conversation, and then she said something that made everything inside me swell with happiness.

"I'm excited to see you, Edward."

If my smile could have been any bigger my face would have split in two. "Me too, sweet girl. Me too."

We wrapped up our phone call a short while later. As I set my phone on the nightstand and turned off the light, I marveled at how at peace and hopeful and happy I felt. For the first time in a long, long time, I realized there was more to life than work and just going with the flow. I felt the beginnings of something in the pit of my stomach, compelling me to go for it, to play for keeps, and as I closed my eyes, I knew that was exactly what I was doing.

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><p>Thank you so much for the awesome reviews! I had hoped to respond to them later this evening, but hubs was able to catch an early flight home. After almost 3 weeks of non-stop travel, I know you'll excuse me while we spend some quality time together! Can't wait to hear your thoughts... Bella arrives tomorrow! What are your predictions?<p> 


	32. Chapter 32: Paste

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Paste**

**Wednesday, 28 December**

* * *

><p>I stood outside the security area at the airport anxiously awaiting Bella's arrival. I had spent the better part of the day trying to burn nervous energy. I was pretty sure the comforter on her bed didn't have a single wrinkle, that every one of the towels hanging in the bathroom was perfectly symmetrical and aligned so the edges were even, and that there wasn't a speck of dust to be found. I had never been so worked up, not even for my doctoral defense as I was waiting for her to arrive.<p>

I checked the arrivals board and saw that her flight had arrived. She would be walking through those doors at any moment, and I had no idea what to do. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down, but it seemed the more I breathed the more the more anxious I felt.

_Pull it together, man. You've got to be cool. She's probably nervous, too._

As I paced back and forth, I realized I was right. She was probably unsure and nervous, too. If we both were, then maybe she wouldn't notice how worked up I was.

_Moron. Of course, she'll notice. Get. A. Grip._

I didn't have long to get a handle on things when people began to pour out of the security doors. I frantically scanned the crowd. She was just on the other side of that barrier, and the weight of anticipation lifted. I was seriously getting ready to spend five days with her. Alone. In my apartment. In my town.

My fingers found my hair and then the pockets of my jacket. I forced my feet to stay still and just… waited. The steady stream of people slowed to a trickle and then there she was.

She was… beautiful. Her long brown hair was pulled back into some kind of ponytail at the base of her neck, and she was wearing this bright pink coat that made her face look even softer than it usually did.

Her eyes were scanning the crowd, and I stepped forward and lifted my hand to get her attention. A huge smile spread across her face as soon as she saw me, and any doubts I might have had that she was excited to be there vanished.

Just seeing her walking toward me, looking all sorts of sexy and perfect got my blood flowing and my heart pounding. I took a step toward and then she was in front of me.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hi," I said equally as soft, grinning like a fool. "I'm so glad you're here," I added quickly, mesmerized by the way her eyes were twinkling. I reached up, my fingers brushing against her cheek, and then I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into my chest.

She was really there. With me. In my arms. I felt her arms wrap around my waist and her head nestle against my chest, and we just stood there, relishing the moment. My head was scattered in a million different directions but one thought rose above the clatter – I had no idea how I'd ever let her go.

Eventually I pulled back, my lips grazing lightly against her cheek, and grinned like a fool. "I can't believe you're really here."

She giggled. "Me neither, but I'm excited."

I squeezed her elbow in acknowledgement. "Do you have other luggage?" I asked, glancing down to see a small bag in her hand.

"I do. I'm usually a light packer, but I got nervous and packed way too much," she said sheepishly.

"That's okay. Baggage claim is this way," I said, pointing to my left.

As we walked I kept glancing at her out of the corner of my eye. My memory of her certainly hadn't done her justice, and it had only been a few days. I subtly shook my head, trying to get some focus, some clarity. "Did you get a chance to eat lunch?"

She shook her head. "No, but I packed some snacks and ate them on the plane. I wasn't sure if you'd want to eat so late."

I laughed. "Bella, I'm a guy. I can eat pretty much all the time. If you're hungry we can grab something, or I can make you a sandwich or whatever at my place. Whatever you want to do."

She grinned, and I saw her shoulders relax just a tiny bit. "I think I'm good for now, but maybe I'll grab a piece of fruit or something later if I get hungry."

"Sure. Whatever you need, you're welcome to it," I said genuinely.

By the time we got to baggage claim, her bag was circling on the carousel. I quickly grabbed it and led us to the car. The drive home was quiet. I think we were both completely overwhelmed by the craziness of her being there. Fortunately, the drive didn't take long, and in no time, I'd parked, pulled her bags from the trunk, and was ushering her up the stairs.

I opened the door and waited for her to walk in. I could see her taking everything in, and I just gave her a minute. I tried to look at my place with fresh eyes and was grateful Mom had been there to make it look habitable. There were pictures on the walls, fresh flowers on the dining room table, and the blinds were open to let in the sunshine. Even though it still looked masculine with the dark furniture and a huge television, it felt bright and welcoming, exactly like I'd wanted.

She turned to face me, a soft smile gracing her lips. "I like your place, Edward."

"Thanks. I can't take credit for all of it. My mom took one look at it when she got here for Christmas and softened it up a bit," I said with a chuckle, my hand going up to rest on the back of my neck.

"So, it's not huge, but I'll give you the tour, if you'd like."

She nodded, and I proceeded to show her around. We ended up at the door to her bedroom, and I walked in. "This is your room," I said, setting her bags on the end of the bed. I pointed down the hall. "The bathroom is right there, and it's yours. I have one in my bedroom, so just make yourself at home, okay?"

"Wow. This is really nice. I hope you didn't go to a lot of trouble to get this ready," she said as she ran her fingers across the quilted fabric on the comforter.

I took a step forward until the distance between us was practically nonexistent. She lifted her head, and her eyes met mine. "It wasn't any trouble, Bella. I want you to feel at home here. So, if you need anything, please ask or help yourself," I said quietly.

The gold flecks in her eyes were all warm and soft, and she curled her lips a bit. I saw her teeth sink into soft pink flesh, and god help me I could help myself. I lifted my hand and gently pulled her bottom lip free. She hiccupped softly, her breath catching as my thumb grazed her bottom lip. I wanted to kiss her. It was like… like that perfect moment where I probably could have, but I thought about what she'd said about wanting there to be more to us than that, or worse, how it might make her feel if the minute I got her in my apartment I couldn't keep my hands or lips to myself.

Feeling the sting of self-imposed disappointment, I dropped my hand, took a deep breath, and stepped back. "Um, I'll just give you a minute to um, get unpacked and do whatever." _More like I needed to give myself a minute._

I walked out of the room and into my bedroom, closed the door, and fell back on the bed. I couldn't believe I'd almost kissed her. I replayed the moment her eyes flicked to mine, just as my thumb touched her lip, and I wondered, if only for a second, if she had wanted it, too.

Another couple of breaths, a bit of adjusting, and a little pep talk to myself, I got up and went into the kitchen. Bella had mentioned maybe wanting some fruit, so I decided to slice up a couple of apples and added some grapes to the plate. I put it on the coffee table and then thought better of it. I'd just told her to make herself at home, and there I was acting like she was a guest. I took it back to the kitchen and put it in the fridge.

As I came back into the living room, I saw Bella walking down the hall. She smiled, looking refreshed and hot as hell. She had on these tight jeans that were tucked into some grey boots. And a black shirt that accentuated _every_curve.

"You look great," I said as she stopped right in front of me.

Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink. "Thanks. I feel a lot better after freshening up. I borrowed some of your toothpaste. I hope that's okay; I accidentally left mine at home."

"Of course, it's fine. I told you to make yourself at home. Mi casa es su casa." I laughed, trying to lighten my own mood and silently thanking my mom for making me get those little extras.

"Thanks. So, what's the plan for today?"

Something about the way she said it, like she was excited and ready to just hang out, made the tension and nerves melt away.

"Well, we have options. Since it's pretty late in the afternoon, I was thinking we could just chill for a bit and then go out for dinner. If you feel like moving, we could always bundle up and walk downtown and see some of the shops and find some place to eat whenever you feel like it."

"I think walking could be good. The plane ride was really long."

"Sounds good. Do you want some fruit or something before we go?"

"Yeah, sure. If you've got some. And maybe some water?"

After we'd each eaten our fill of apples and grapes – the fact it was all cut up and on a plate didn't go unnoticed as evidenced by her grin and jab to my ribs – we bundled up and left for what I was increasingly sure was going to be a fun night out.

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><p>She's finally here! Reviews are love... xoxo<p> 


	33. Chapter 33: Portrait

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Portrait**

**Wednesday, 28 December, Evening**

* * *

><p>I parked the car and quickly got out and opened Bella's door for her. She smiled as she took my hand and didn't let go after I'd closed it. The car ride had been filled with casual chitchat. There were no uncomfortable lulls; it just flowed easily.<p>

As we walked, her gloved hand in mine, I pointed out different sights along the way.

"This is the main city street. That wall over there, the one covered in ivy, is part of the University."

"Really?" she asked, stopping to take it in.

"Yep. We can go take a closer look tomorrow and walk around if you want. Classes aren't in session, so I'm not sure how much we'll be able to see. The campus is still gorgeous, though."

"I'd like that. All their programs, as I'm sure you know, are well ranked, but their English department is one of the best in the country."

"Oh, yeah?" I asked. I tried to suppress the budding excitement I felt at the thought of her knowing that little bit of information. Had she researched that before she came here? And why?

"Yeah. The rankings come out once a year, and we all know rankings are _everything_ to universities," she said, her voice taking on the sarcastic tone of someone who had clearly heard that before.

I just laughed. I knew exactly what she meant. MIT thrived on their rankings, and it was always a travesty when they slipped.

I squeezed her hand and started walking again. "This is Palmer Square, and it's pretty much where the action is. There are tons of restaurants and shops, like I was telling you. I figured we could just walk around for a bit and then get dinner at whatever place looks good."

"Sounds good to me."

We walked up and down the sidewalks, stopping in at different shops and looking through the windows of others. There were a bunch of shops I knew she'd be familiar with, chains stores and the like, but there were others that were unique to the area.

"You will love this shop," I said, pulling her into Carter and Cavero.

She looked up at the sign and grinned. "Olive oil?"

"Yep. Come on."

I led her inside, and we proceeded to taste different olive oils. Some I had never even heard of, and others were just too weird. Cinnamon and coconut olive oils? Really?

Bella laughed when I wrinkled my nose at one I didn't particularly care for. Then, she tipped up the little paper cup she'd been holding and swallowed. I watched as her face transformed from contemplation to surprise to a happy grin.

"You have got to try this," she said as she refilled her little cup and thrust it toward me.

"What is it?" I asked skeptically, still not over the cinnamon or the coconut.

"It's called Smoky Sweet Chocolate, and trust me, it's like a little drop of heaven."

I arched my eyebrow at her and she put her free hand on her hip. "Oh come on, you're not going to wuss out on me, are you? Where's your adventurous spirit?" she asked, taking a step closer to me. "Come on. Trust me, I wouldn't lead you astray."

I looked into her eyes, could see them sparkling and bright, and then down to her lips that still had a slight sheen from the oil or from where she'd licked them after, then nodded my head.

She placed her hand on my chest and then lifted the cup to my lips. My fingers wrapped around the tops of hers, and I opened my mouth and swallowed the sweet concoction. Just like her, I went from being unsure to pleasantly surprised. That was really good. Not nearly as good as her hand on my chest or how close she was, but I wasn't complaining.

I grinned then she did, triumphantly, like she'd won a battle or something. "See? I told you it was awesome," she gloated, swatting me lightly on the arm.

"Ha Ha! Okay, you were right." I pulled her into me, wrapped my arms around her waist and pressed my lips to the top of her head. Everything about the moment felt so natural and easy.

After a second, she stepped away, that same perfect happy smile on her face. "I think I'm going to get some of this stuff. Any others you think we should get? Maybe we could make something for dinner one night with them."

I looked around. "What about this Tuscan Herb one? Maybe we could do Italian or something?"

"Sounds good to me." She grabbed a bottle and went up to the register to pay.

"I can get that," I said, digging out my wallet.

"Nonsense. I got it." The look on her face told me to let it go, and I did. She and the owner talked a little about how she could use the chocolate and chipotle oils, together and separately.

As I watched her talk and listen, I couldn't help the feeling of contentment and happiness that washed over me. Spending time with her just felt so natural. Who would have thought tasting different types of oils and vinegars could be so fun?

"Ready?" she asked as she grabbed the bag on the counter and thanked the man once again for his help.

I nodded. "Yep."

We stepped back out in the cold evening air and continued walking. We passed several jewelry shops, a picture studio with family portraits and still lifes of the local area in the window, and a couple vintage clothing stores. As we reached the end of the sidewalk, I stopped and looked down at her.

She looked up. "What's next, Mr. Adventure?" she joked, much the same way she had been since the olive oil shop.

"Hey now, I tried the chocolate spice oil you forced upon me. Gimme some credit," I said as I dug my fingers into her side.

She squealed and swatted me away, but I was relentless and chased after her. She dashed across the street, and I followed after her into a little green area that had a few benches and tables. I tackled her from behind, my arms tightening just as she slipped forward.

"Oh my gosh, don't drop me," she screeched as I hauled her up and against me.

I turned her around. Her cheeks were flushed, and she was out of breath. So was I… but not from the chase. She was all pressed up against me, and I could smell the sweet scent of her perfume, see the pink flush in her cheeks. My eyes flicked down to her lips just as her tongue peeked out and swiped across her bottom lip and then back up to her eyes.

I felt her body shifting, rising up, as she leaned for ward and brushed her lips softly against mine, tentative, hesitant, and it was magic. Just like before, at her house and then when we'd said goodbye. I'd wanted to kiss her again since I saw her in the airport, before that even, the memory of those moments nowhere near as good as the real thing.

Her lips parted, and I finally gave in to the moment, letting her lead. There was no urgency, just the natural give and take of her lips against mine as I relished the little hints of chocolate and spice from earlier. And her. God, she was amazing.

My hands slid up her back into the hair at the base of her neck and along her jaw, until I had her face in between my hands. When we parted, I just stared at her and watched as a little smile spread across her face.

"I'm so glad you're here, sweet girl," I whispered and touched my lips tenderly against hers.

She sighed and bit down on her lip, her eyes shifting up to meet mine. "Me, too."

We sat on a bench nearby and stayed there a bit longer, both relishing the new found closeness and me relaxing as my self-imposed barriers started to break down.

I knew I was grinning like a fool, but I couldn't help it. Everything in me screamed and radiated a happiness I could hardly contain.

"Should we get dinner?" I asked as I nuzzled the soft skin behind her ear.

"Mmhmm," she hummed softly, tilting her head a little closer to me.

She shifted a little, and my eyes flitted to hers. I saw nothing but acceptance. Ever so slowly, I leaned forward, tilting my head just slightly, and gently pressed my lips against hers. I didn't linger or hover, but I felt like my body was splintering from sensory overload. I could spend hours lost in her, and it wouldn't be enough.

Reluctantly, I pulled away from her and stood up, extending my hand for her to take. "Let's go. I know the perfect place."

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><p>Thank you so much for the lovely reviews. I opted to post and not reply. I hope that's okay! Enjoy this... hehe<p> 


	34. Chapter 34: Fun

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

HUGE thanks to mycrookedsmile for her help with this chapter. She is like the little angel (a sassy one, to be sure) that sits on my shoulder and makes things better.

**Word Prompt: Fun**

**Thursday, 29 December**

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><p>I woke to sunshine streaming in through the window. I knew it was still early, but the growling in my stomach and the fact I had to pee dragged me out from under my awesome blankets. I took care of business then stared at my reflection in the mirror as I brushed my teeth. I felt completely at ease. All the hesitance and nerves from the day before were long gone, banished after everything that had happened yesterday.<p>

I spit into the sink and quickly rinsed my mouth. Dinner had been an easygoing affair. I'd taken her to a little Mediterranean restaurant, and we'd shared a bunch of small plates – hummus, pita, tabouleh, stuffed grape leaves, and a couple different meat dishes whose names I couldn't remember. The whole time we were there, we'd laughed and talked. She'd told me more about Christmas with Charlie and Sue, things she was planning for the spring semester, and about the book she was writing.

The more she'd talked, the more drawn to her I felt. By the time we'd returned to my apartment, changed into our pjs, and sat down to watch a movie, I knew I was in deep. Her very presence, all snuggled up beside me on the couch, was intoxicating. When we'd said goodnight, I was worried things would be awkward, what with her heading to her room and me to mine, but it wasn't. She'd kissed me on the cheek, said how much fun she'd had, and said goodnight. It was absolutely the best possible day, and just the thought that we had more to come thrilled me to no end.

I pulled on a t-shirt and quietly opened the door. I walked past her door and wondered if she was still asleep. I wouldn't blame her. With the time difference and being up late, she was probably tired.

When I got to the kitchen I looked around and decided to make us a simple breakfast. I started the coffee, hoping the gourmet beans I'd purchased just before she'd arrived would be okay. I pulled out the filter basket and grimaced. Yeah, I needed to clean it. I grabbed the vinegar and quickly ran it through, giving it a good cleaning before I finally started brewing the beans. I pulled the eggs out of the fridge, along with a handful of different veggies and cheese, and whipped up an omelet for each of us.

I was just putting them on plates when I heard Bella come into the kitchen. "Morning," she said, her voice still rough with sleep.

I turned and swallowed. She was wearing the same pjs she'd worn to bed, but her hair was haphazardly thrown into a bun thing on the top of her head, and her face still had that soft sleep look to it. That was, and always had been, my favorite look on her – she looked comfortable, relaxed, and happy, which made me feel all those things in bulk.

"Morning," I said, standing up.

She stepped forward and leaned in, both of her arms wrapping around my waist as she hugged my torso. "Smells good in here," she said, her voice a bit muffled against my shirt.

"I made omelets," I said proudly. "And we've got fruit and coffee, too."

She twisted and looked up at me. "Coffee. Perfect."

We moved around each other in my small kitchen, laughing when one of us would bump into the other. We ate breakfast, each with our own section of the newspaper. It was quiet and perfect, and it made me wonder what it would be like to do this with her every day.

~*WS*~

"I had no idea it was this big," she said after we'd walked across the Princeton campus. Hand in hand, we'd covered a lot of ground - the stadium, the quad, over to Princeton station, and finally to McCosh Hall. She stared at the ivy-covered spire and stone archway, and I wondered for what felt like the tenth time in the hour we'd been there what she was thinking.

"Yeah, I didn't either when I first moved here."

She looked at me and smiled. "What are you thinking?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Nothing really. It's just cool to be here."

I wrapped my arm around and we stood there, both perfectly content to just… be.

~*WS*~

The remainder of the afternoon passed quietly and uneventfully. After we left Princeton and had gotten some lunch, we returned to my apartment and decided to spend it relaxing. Bella was still a bit tired, and in truth, I was perfectly content to just hang out with her.

Bella curled up on the couch with a book she'd started on the plane, and I decided to use the time to check email. I knew people would still be working, despite the holiday break. Before Bella, I would have certainly been at the office most days, or at the very least working on stuff at home. I scanned through my email and saw one from James confirming the details for dinner on Friday night and one from Ben with the specifics on the new project he'd given me.

As I read through the fact sheets and data reports, that overwhelming feeling that comes with uncharted territory washed over me. I knew when he'd asked me to take the new project on it would be a real challenge, but what I was staring at seemed almost impossible. I spent a few minutes jotting down my initial thoughts before setting it aside. I could completely get sucked into this if I let myself, and I didn't want to do that with Bella here.

The room had gotten dark, and when I glanced over at Bella, I saw she'd fallen asleep. I got up and quietly draped the blanket my mom had purchased across her. Once again, I said a little thank you that my mom had thought of everything. I stood there for a second just watching her sleep. I took in the way her eyelashes seemed to fan across the tops of her cheek, how her mouth parted slightly as she breathed in and out, and her forehead crinkled as if she was lost in a dream. After a second, I realized how creepy it would probably look if she woke up and saw me towering over her. Yeah, that would be creepy.

I got dinner started. Earlier we'd decided Italian was definitely the way to go, especially since we were both eager to try out the new Tuscan oil we'd bought.

Forty-five minutes later, the sauce was simmering, the water for the noodles set to boil, the bread was in the oven, and the salad was prepared. I had been pretty quiet, but as dinner got closer to being ready, I decided to go ahead and wake Bella. I couldn't believe she'd slept this long.

I flipped one of the side lamps on and walked over to the couch. "Bella," I said softly, giving her shoulder a little nudge. She blew out a breath and scrunched up her nose. I had to look away. Could she be any cuter? Another couple of nudges and another round of name calling, this time louder and more forceful, and she opened an eye.

"Can't a girl get a little shuteye?" she said all breathy.

I laughed. "You've been asleep for two hours, you lazy bum."

She sat up, and her eyes popped open. "I've been asleep for _two_hours? I'm sorry. You should have woken me up!"

"Silly girl," I said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "There was no reason to. I was just checking email and working a little. Besides, you're cute when you sleep."

She rolled her eyes and pushed against my forearm, a little smile teasing the corner of her lips. "Whatever. This just means you'll have to entertain me tonight."

I tried not to think about the implications of her statement. Thus far, I'd done a pretty good job of _not_thinking about her like that… well, when I could, but the idea of us up late, together, on the couch or wherever came unbidden. I shifted a bit, already feeling the beginnings of my body acknowledging just what was in my head.

"Right, well, um, dinner's going to be ready in like ten minutes," I said and abruptly stood up and walked back into the kitchen.

I had replayed our kiss in the park and the ones on the couch last night so many times throughout the day, wanting to do more, but it hadn't felt right for whatever reason. Maybe it was the way Bella had gotten quiet after leaving campus or how she'd withdrawn into her book. I wasn't sure what it was, not that I was complaining, but the desire was most definitely still there.

She came into the kitchen just as I was straining the spaghetti and the timer went off. She grabbed the oven mitts and pulled the bread out; the smell of butter and garlic practically made my mouth water.

I dumped the spaghetti back in the pot, added some more olive oil, and began to stir. The sound of Bella's knife slicing into the crusty bread was the only thing that broke the awkward silence that had descended on the small space. It was stifling, but I didn't know what to do about it.

Hard plastic clinked against the counter just as Bella spoke, her voice quiet and unsure. "Hey... where'd you go? You're awfully quiet."

I stopped stirring, shifted just slightly, and looked down. I had no idea what to say. How do you tell the woman you are ridiculously attracted to that you've been thinking about how to get past first base with her all damn day without coming off like a horny jerk? Yeah, you don't.

I pressed my palms to the cold counter top and leaned forward, hovering, stalling.

"Hey," Bella said as she placed her palm on my back, "talk to me, please." It felt so good, reassuring, but I couldn't think with her touching me.

I brushed my hand through her hair and turned to face her. She stepped back a little, our bodies all of a sudden too close, and that guarded expression was back in her eyes. I fucking hated it.

"Bella... I..." I blew out a frustrated breath. "I've been trying so hard not to cross the line with you, Bella. I want to show you how important you are to me, but it's so hard when all I can think about is how freaking sexy you are. When you kissed me last night, it was... great, and when you were pressed up against me last night during the movie, all I could about was how I wanted more. So much more with you, but I don't know if I can, if it's okay..."

"Then stop fighting it," she said, interrupting me.

"What?" I asked, shaking my head.

"Stop fighting it, Edward. I told you that we should go with the flow, that I didn't want to put up a bunch of artificial boundaries or timelines, that we should do what feels right. And if you haven't noticed," she said, closing the distance between us and placing her hands on my chest, "it's not like I don't want it, too." She paused and smirked. "I mean, I have needs, too."

I stared at her in disbelief, completely caught off guard by her confession and then her... was that a joke? She closed the distance between us and tightened her fingers in my shirt. The feel of her hands on my chest sent a shot of warmth right through me. Had I seriously been treading so carefully around her that I'd missed all the signs that she was interested in doing… more?

I shook my head again but put my hands on top of hers. I felt so confused.

"Stop overthinking everything, Edward. Just _be_with me," she pleaded softly. "I'm not saying let's jump into bed right this second, but we're both adults. We have to talk to each other. If we can't talk about stuff like this - needs, wants, whatever - while we're in the same room, then how are we ever going to make this work?"

Everything she said made sense. I wanted to be with her. Hell, I was the one who'd pushed to get us together, had asked her if she was willing to give us a chance.

My eyes locked with hers, and all I could see was her eyes pleading with mine to understand, to give in. Something about her sincerity made everything come into focus. "You're right," I sighed. "I've been overthinking things. I just… I don't want to mess things up with you. I feel so out of my element, Bella. I feel so mixed up inside, and just the thought of losing you…"

I couldn't even get the words out, and I didn't have to because the next thing I knew, she was pulling me forward and her lips were on mine, moving, tasting, showing me what neither of us could put into words. Her lips parted just as she sucked in my lower lip, her tongue sliding across it. Everything inside me felt like it was ablaze, like I was melting from the intensity of the moment and what she was trying to tell me. We kissed until we were both breathless and then her forehead pressed against mine.

"You're not going to, okay? Don't doom us to fail before we even get off the ground."

I wrapped my arms around her, squeezing her until she squeaked, and rested my chin on the top of her head. "I won't." I pressed a kiss, then two against her temple, just as my heart started to slow down. "Thank you for forcing me to talk."

We stayed like that for a while. I was still wrapping my head around everything she'd said when I felt her fingers start to trace lazy circles on my back. "Are we good?" she asked.

"Mhmm," I hummed.

"Good," she said, playfulling digging her fingers into my ribs," because I'm starving."

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><p>Thanks so much for ALL the love you guys have shown for this story. I apologize for not posting yesterday. I was embroiled in the 18th century working on my Age of Edward contest entry. It's done and with the betas now... I'll share soon! In the meantime, go check out the entries! Fun stuff already! www . fanfiction . net community/The_Age_of_Edward_Contest/70125/

So... they went deep... thoughts? I'd love to hear yours! xoxo


	35. Chapter 35: Trip

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Trip **

**Friday, 30 December**

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><p>I pulled up in front of James' house. The lights were blazing, and from the cars out front I could tell the others had already arrived. I looked at Bella, whose hands were clasped tightly in her lap, and put my hand on top of hers.<p>

"They're going to love you, you know."

She looked at me, and I could tell just from the way her lips were pressed together and her stiff posture she wasn't quite as sure as I was.

"I'm serious, sweet girl. I've already told them about you, and they're looking forward to meeting you. Tonight is going to be super laid back, I promise. Besides, they're probably going to try to embarrass me, anyway."

She smiled. "You're right. I'm being silly over nothing. These are your friends. I'm sure I'll like them."

I squeezed her hand then jumped out, rounded the car, and helped her out. "Thanks."

With our fingers intertwined, we walked to the front door.

James opened it, beer in hand, seconds after we rang the bell.

"I don't know why you're ringing the bell. It's not like you normally do," he said, swinging the door open for us to go inside.

"Shut it," I said, punching him in the shoulder. "James, this is Bella. Bella, James."

Bella extended her hand, but James pushed it aside and pulled her in for a hug. "Welcome to the crazy, Bella. It'll be a nice change after spending all your time with this boring guy," he said, after he stepped back and punched me right back.

Bella was a little caught off guard, but she chuckled. "I like him already," she said as she looked at me and grinned.

"See, Eddie, that's why the ladies like me," he said, giving Bella a wink. "I've got charm."

"You're an idiot," I said and pushed past him into the living room with Bella's fingers still twisted with mine.

James had always been on the goofy side. He liked to go with the flow, and he had a way of putting people at ease with his ridiculously childish sense of humor. For once I was grateful for it.

When we walked in, everyone was hanging out in the kitchen. I quickly introduced Bella to everyone and vice versa. Peter, Angela, and Rose all welcomed her, and Emmett, being the flirt he was, wrapped his beefy arm around her and walked her into the kitchen. He glanced over his shoulder and winked at me. If I didn't know she was in good hands and that Emmett was harmless, I'd have gone after her.

"Hey Ang," I said as she handed me a beer from the cooler. I nodded my head at Peter over in the corner talking to Rose.

She grinned. "Long time no see."

"I know. I was in Seattle for almost two weeks and before that… well, dealing with Vic and moving…"

"More like moving on." She smirked and glanced toward the kitchen.

I nudged her with my shoulder. "It wasn't like that. But yeah, I've totally moved on."

"Good. You look happier now than I've seen you in a while."

A huge smile spread across my face. "I am." Damn right, I was.

Bella and Emmett came back from the kitchen. She was holding a glass of wine and laughing at something he'd said.

"What's so funny?" I asked as she sidled up next to me.

She chuckled again. "Oh, Emmett here was telling me about some of your wilder days when you first moved here."

I glared at him, trying to figure out what he could have possibly told her. It wasn't like I was a big party animal; by all measures I was pretty lame, actually. "Oh yeah?"

"Yellow swim trunks?" Bella asked, her eyebrows rising and a devilish grin spreading across her face.

I felt my face flush and looked away. Of all the freaking things to talk about with her and he chose the time my yellow trunks came off at the pool in his backyard?

He busted out laughing, bending at the middle and guffawing like the freak he was.

"Are you done yet?" I asked, flipping him off when he stood up.

"Hell no. I'm just getting started," he said as he drained the last of his beer and reached for another one.

And so the night went with them telling embarrassing stories about me and me dishing it right back. As we devoured the pizza, they let loose on Bella.

"So, you're actually took this guy back, huh?" James asked, hooking his thumb towards me, after swallowing the huge bite he'd just taken.

"Well, I'm still testing him out, but I think I'll keep him for now." She grinned at me, her eyes twinkling.

"When you realize you want a real man, give me a call, okay?" James said, smirking at me.

"As if Bella would stoop that low," I said, smacking him in the back of the head as I wandered into the kitchen.

Rosalie came in after me. I'd watched her interact with Bella several times throughout the evening and had wondered what she thought, if she'd finally realized her comments earlier about Bella just getting back at me were completely unfounded.

"Hey," she said as she dumped her plate in the trash and reached for a glass.

"Hey," I said, leaning against the counter. "So?"

She rolled her eyes. "She's nice."

I lifted my eyebrows expectantly.

"And you were right."

"And?"

"And I'm not going to apologize for jumping to conclusions… because you're important to me. _But_, you guys are good together, and I can see what you meant about her being special. There's definitely something going on there."

I snorted. "Duh."

She rolled her eyes again and filled her glass with water. She stared out the kitchen window as she tipped her glass up and took a drink. When she set her glass down and turned to face me, she said, "I'm happy for you, Edward. Really." As she walked out, she patted my chest for emphasis and gave me a smile that made me feel like a million bucks.

I grabbed a Coke from the fridge, knowing I had to drive us home. When I walked back out, I stopped and just watched the scene before me. Bella was sitting next to Angela; they were engaged in what looked like a really intense conversation. Rose pulled a chair up next to them and jumped right in. The guys had decided to play Call of Duty and were studiously ignoring everything around them except the figures on the screen. Everyone looked so at ease and happy, but what struck me most was how Bella just fit.

Aside from the initial embarrassment I'd felt about the guys telling her about my ass being on display for everyone, it had been a perfect evening. Perfect day, really. After Bella had confronted me and forced me to talk the night before, things had been much… lighter. Dinner and then snuggling on the couch had been the perfect balm to my overthinking brain.

Even earlier in the day when we'd gone out hiking things had changed. The apprehensiveness and distance I'd perceived on her part were gone, and in its place was something more open, more sure. For the first time since our whirlwind romance had begun I felt confident. Confident she wanted to be with me. Confident we could make things work, even with the distance. And best of all, confident I no longer needed to hide my feelings. It was absolutely liberating.

Bella glanced toward the kitchen and saw me standing there, watching her, and smiled that slow, easy smile of hers that I loved. She tipped her head slightly and then winked. I grinned and winked back, secure in the fact that she was for real.

By the time we got home, we were both a bit clingier than normal. Not that I was complaining or even knew what normal was. We didn't have a normal, but it looked like we were on our way to finding it.

I poured us each a glass of wine, and as we sat on the couch, Bella snuggled into my side. As if it were perfectly choreographed, I draped my arm down the length of her back and let my hand rest on her hip.

"So, did you have a good time?"

"Mhhmmm. You're friends are funny."

"That's an understatement. Jokesters, for sure."

"I think Emmett is a total trip. I still can't believe he told me that story about you. And James, good grief, he's a flirt. Angela and Peter are fun. How long have they been together?"

I thought for a second, my fingers tracing the fabric of her jeans. "Well, they've only been married for about a year, but they dated for a long time before that. Em and Rose have been together the longest, and of course they have the girls."

"Rose is interesting," Bella hedged.

I chuckled. "Continue."

"Well, at first I wasn't sure she liked me. I mean she was nice enough, but she was clearly watching me closely. I'm sure there's a story there."

I knew Bella would notice the way Rose had been keeping an eye on her. Hell, it ws pretty obvious to anyone who took the time to notice. "There is. Let's just say, Rose is really protective of her family. And I'm included in that. She just wants to make sure I'm not going to get hurt."

I felt Bella's head move up and down as her hand came to rest on top of mine, our fingers sliding together. "Makes sense. I was like that with Jake when he met Sam."

"And when do I get to meet the infamous Jake?" I asked, grateful once again he was gay and totally not going to steal Bella from me.

"Next time you come to Seattle, for sure. I want to introduce you to him, Sam, and Angie," she said, twisting slightly so she could see me. "They're the people I spend the bulk of my time with."

I kissed forehead, excited at the prospect of really starting to integrate into her life. "Sounds perfect."

Midnight came and went, and we were still on the sofa, completely wrapped up in each other. At some point Bella has nestled even closer, and her head was resting on my chest, my hands were combing through her hair.

Bella yawned. "Don't do that," I said as I yawned, too. I was pretty drowsy, due in large part to the wine and the warmth of her body against mine. I didn't want to move. I knew if we did she would go to her room and me to mine, and that wasn't appealing. At all.

"I guess we should probably go to bed, huh," she said through another yawn.

"Probably. But I'm perfectly comfortable right here with you." I pressed a kiss to the top of her head for emphasis.

She hummed softly, but neither of us moved; when I glanced down at her, her eyes were closed. Loathe to wake her up, I pulled the blanket down over us and allowed the sounds of her rhythmic breathing to lull me to sleep.

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><p>Thanks so much for the love. My MIL is arriving shortly and will be with us through early next week. I'll do my best to keep to my normal daily updates. I'm so glad you guys love these two. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I love love love hearing what you guys think.<p> 


	36. Chapter 36: Foreign

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Foreign **

**Saturday, 31 December**

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><p>I woke up alone and disoriented. I looked around the room, squinting in the darkness, when I realized I was still on the couch. Bella was nowhere to be found, and it was clear by the cool blanket covering me that she'd been gone for a while. My stomach turned. I hoped she hadn't woken up and freaked out to find herself on the couch with me.<p>

I sat up and stretched, my body stiff and my neck aching. The floor was freezing, and I quickly made my way down the hall. Bella's door was closed, and that sinking feeling I'd felt earlier returned.

I was tempted to knock but thought better of it; I went to my own room and closed the door. I climbed in between the cold sheets, my mind abuzz and unsettled, and eventually let sleep claim me.

~*WS*~

"Morning," I said, my voice thick and raspy, as I walked into the living room.

Bella smiled. She had a steaming cup of coffee in her hand and had her laptop sitting next to her. "Morning, sleepyhead."

I scratched the front of my shirt before scrubbing my fingers back and forth through my hair. "What time is it?"

"Ten," she said as she took a sip of coffee. Her eyes were on mine over the rim of her mug, and that unsettled feeling I felt last night and when I'd woken up in my own bed wrenched again.

I nodded and walked into the kitchen. I fixed myself a cup of coffee and went into the living room, grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch, and sat down on the loveseat opposite her. I draped the blanket across my lap to ward off the chill in the room and took a sip of my coffee. The silence between us felt foreign, and while I was normally okay with the lulls in our conversations, something felt different.

Her eyes darted between me and her mug, and if I was unsure before, I definitely knew something was up. She seemed nervous and distant.

"So…" I said, just as she started to apologize.

"What?" we both said at the same time then laughed awkwardly.

"You first," I said, lifting my mug toward her, and gave her a reluctant smile.

She returned it, just as timidly. "I was just going to say sorry for abandoning you out here on the couch this morning. I woke up with a terrible crick in my neck and was freezing. I tried to wake you, but you weren't having it."

I stared at her in relieved disbelief. "Wait… so you weren't upset?"

She laughed. "Why would I be upset?"

"I don't know," I said, scrubbing my hands through my hair. The tension in my whole body melted away, and I sagged in relief.

"Edward, you're so funny. If you don't relax you're going to have a heart attack and then where would we be?"

I snorted. "I'm always like this."

"No, you're not. I've seen you relaxed. Like last night with your friends… and then here… with me."

There was definitely some truth to her words. I was completely in my element the night before, joking with my friends and just hanging out. Maybe that was it. When I was with her, I felt like I had to do more, be more, not because she was asking it of me, but because I was so determined to make her see that what we had between us wasn't a mistake. Maybe I really did need to relax. She'd said as much the other day and was saying it again.

I took a deep breath and smiled for real for the first time since I'd woken up… the first time.

"You're right," I said, feeling resolved as I stood up and walked the three steps across the rug to stop right between her legs. I reached for her laptop and set it on the table, then did the same with her mug.

I reached for her hands and waited. She looked up at me, questions in her eyes, but she put them in mine, nonetheless. I pulled her up and against me, my hands sliding around her waist to rest at the small of her back. "Can we start this morning over?"

She nodded then giggled as I twisted her around and sat us both down on the couch. After some jockeying, which would have been much easier if I'd released her to do it on her own, we were in the same position we were the night before when we'd fallen asleep.

"Close your eyes," I whispered against her ear.

I felt her shiver a bit, and while the blanket I'd left on the loveseat would've helped ward off the cold bite in the air, I was pretty sure I'd done that to her.

She grinned but obeyed. I pulled her back flush against my chest, ignoring the ache I already felt with her pressed against me. My hands twisted in the front of her nightshirt just as I tangled our legs together.

"Good morning, sweet girl." I nudged my nose against her neck, breathing her in. She smelled so good, like morning and warmth and everything I loved about her.

She hummed contentedly and brushed one of her hands up and down the arm I'd wrapped around her. "Morning, handsome."

I grinned, my chest practically swelling at the playfulness of her new nickname for me.

"Handsome, huh?" I asked, nuzzling her again.

"Mhmm." She twisted around, but by the huff she let out I could tell it wasn't enough. Reluctantly I loosened my arms, and she managed to turn so she was facing me, her body pressed fully against mine.

Her palm cupped my cheek then slid down to my jaw. I heard the slight bristle and scratch of my beard; she didn't seem to mind, and there was no way in hell I was going to tell her stop. It felt really good.

"You are, you know?"

"What?" I asked, completely absorbed by the little gold flecks and the soft brown of her eyes.

"Handsome," she said, her lips brushing against my jaw. "Sexy." The way she said it, all throaty with a hint of grit, with her lips on my skin, was like a shot of electricity straight through my body. I shifted my hips forward, my body automatically responding to her.

"Is that right?" I asked as I slid my lips against hers, tasting the faintest hint of coffee on her breath as she tried to answer.

Her knee moved between my legs, bringing her a little closer, as she parted her lips and let me in. Slow, mingling kisses turned into more as her tongue touched mine. I squeezed my eyes closed, overwhelmed with the way it felt when her hands slid to rest on my neck, how soft her hair was as I tugged it loose and twisted my fingers in it, the way our bodies pressed firmly against each other and shifted just enough to create friction to feel blissfully amazing without going too far.

I was lost in her, completely mesmerized by all the little details that made her _her_ as I ran my hand down her side and back up again. I relished the feel of the indentations between her ribs, the soft slope where her hips and waist met, and the subtle curve of her breast. Our kisses had become slow and lazy, her tongue against mine soft and warm. We lay like that, perfectly content, the slow burn on the cusp of being more when her stomach growled.

She buried her face in my chest and giggled as I groaned. "I guess we should eat, huh?"

"If you think it's necessary," I replied, my lips touching her hair.

She wiggled loose and sat up. I huffed and pouted a little bit, but after a teasing kiss or two we eventually got up. We made breakfast together and spent the remainder of the morning making plans for the evening.

Emmett and Rose had invited us out to an early dinner. They were taking the girls to some place that had games and prizes and food. Bella liked the idea of going. She wanted to meet them, and in truth, I was excited to introduce my goddaughters to her.

"What do you want to do after? We could go to a bar or club or whatever?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I'm up for anything. I've never been super crazy about the crowds at clubs, but it might be fun to go out for a drink or two and see what happens."

I nodded. "Sounds good to me. There's a local brewery we could go to. They have great beer and live music. I'm not sure what it'll be like, but it could be fun."

"Perfect. And if we decide to stay till midnight, great. If not, we can always come back here and ring in the New Year, just the two of us."

"I like it," I said as I stood up and carried our plates into the kitchen, feeling ridiculously happy.

When I'd invited her to visit, I had no idea how things would turn out. I'd imagined how things could be but had tried to keep my expectations low. Everything was falling into place, and as I watched her sip the remainder of her coffee, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt my life would never be the same.

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><p>Gah! I love you guys! Thanks for not hatin' over my lack of review replies. I seriously love and read every one! Visit's going well. I love my MIL.<p>

Looking forward to your thoughts! xoxo


	37. Chapter 37: Rescue

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Rescue **

**Saturday, 31 December**

* * *

><p>"Uncle Edward!" Emma and Suzie screamed when they saw me walk into the restaurant.<p>

I squatted down and scooped them both into my arms, giving them a tight squeeze as I glanced up in greeting at Emmett and Rose. "How are my two favorite girls?" I asked after I'd released them.

"So good! We're gonna play games and climb in the tunnels," Emma said excitedly.

"Yeah and eat pizza and ice cream," Suzie added.

"Sounds perfect to me," I said.

I glanced at Bella who was standing a little behind me with a huge grin on her face. I turned back to the girls. "So, I brought a friend to play tonight, and I want you to meet her."

I stood up and extended my hand to Bella. "Suzie, Emma, this is my special friend, Bella. Bella, these are my best girls and goddaughters."

She squatted down and smiled. "Hi. Your Uncle Edward told me all about the tunnels, and I was wondering if I could play with you guys tonight."

Both of the girls looked at me then back at Bella and nodded hesitantly.

"Do you like balls?" Suzie asked.

I coughed and knew better than to look at Emmett. Bella ignored me, thankfully, and nodded her head. "I do. Are we going to play with some?"

Emma nodded, and one eyeroll from Rose completely set both Emmett and me off. We both burst out laughing and had to turn around in order to get ourselves under control.

"Try to teach your girls some manners, man," I whispered to Em.

He punched me in the shoulder. "You're sick."

"You know it was damn funny," I said as I turned back around. Both Bella and Rose were staring at us, eyes narrowed in disapproval before turning back to the girls, who, thank God, were oblivious to our thoughts.

"… pit full of balls you can jump in and throw and stuff. Do you want to play in them?"

"That sounds like fun to me," she said, then turned to Rose. "At least some balls are going to see some action."

I straightened up and immediately put my arms around her. "Hey, now," I said. "Don't be like that… I'll be good."

She patted my cheek. "Get your head out of the gutter, handsome. I'm going to play with the girls… and some balls."

The next minute I was staring at her back as the girls led her away. Rose followed after, leaving Emmett and me alone.

"She's something else," Emmett said after we'd each grabbed a beer and sat down at a booth in the corner to wait for the food.

"Bella?"

He nodded and took a long pull from his bottle.

"You can say that again," I said. "She is seriously… amazing. There's just no other way to put it."

Emmett put his bottle down and looked at me for a second before his eyes scanned the room and he laughed. "You've got it bad."

I snorted. "That's an understatement. It feels so crazy, but all I can think about it how lucky I am… and how hot and sexy and intelligent she is. I have no idea how I got so lucky."

"So, have you guys talked about long term stuff?" he asked. We rarely had serious conversations, so his intensity was a little surprising.

I took a swig and gave a noncommittal head shake, wobbling my head like one of those bobble head toys. "A little, I guess, but we have a lot to talk about. I know we're both committed to making it work, but as far as how we'll close the distance… no." I'd been thinking about that most of the afternoon. I wanted to bring it up, to discuss where her head was and what I was thinking, but I had no idea how to broach the subject.

My eyes landed on Bella, all the way across the room. Her face was tilted up, like she was looking for something, and the smile on her face radiated happiness. The bottom line: I would do pretty much anything to keep her smiling like that, to be with her, and I had options in terms of mobility. I knew that.

"I mean, she's got a pretty sweet deal at UW. I can't imagine she'd want to give that up and move here or anywhere else, for that matter," I added and took another drink.

"Um, you do know that Princeton is in our backyard, right?" he asked, pulling my attention away and back to him.

"Dude, I know that. But it's gotta be her choice."

Emmett shook his head. "Oh man. Look, let me just give you one piece of advice and then I'll shut the hell up. If you're going to make this thing work, you've got to compromise, which means you've got to talk. It's not just about her or you. It's about you both."

I was just about to respond, when Suzie came running over. "Daddy! Bella had to rescue Emma from the top of the tower!"

"What do you mean?" he asked, scooting to the end of the booth and standing up.

"Emma got scared," she said, like it was the most ridiculous thing ever. "And started crying. I tried to get her down but she wouldn't come."

Emmett grinned, and I couldn't help but laugh when Rose, carrying a sad-faced Emma, and Bella walked over to the booth.

"You okay, peanut?" Emmett asked, holding his arms out to her.

Emma's bottom lip quivered a bit and climbed into his lap, burying her head against his chest.

A few minutes later, the food arrived and everyone was as good as new. After dinner, a mean game or two of skee ball, and a round of hugs and well wishes later, Bella and I were back in the car.

I reached over and took her hand, bring it up to my lips. She looked at me and smiled, and I couldn't believe how _normal_ it felt. There was nothing special about the moment. It was what I'd always imagined my life would be like at some point, and the simplicity of it floored me. I knew what I'd told Emmett earlier was the truth. I'd do pretty much anything to make it work. I was all in, and if I had any doubt at all – which I didn't – watching Bella with the girls and my friends the night before and again that evening only confirmed how amazing and special she really was. She just fit.

~*WS*~

"What can I get ya?" the bartender asked.

I looked at Bella, my hand pressed against the small of her back, and she quickly leaned forward and said, "I'll have the Amber Ale."

He looked at me. "Dortmunder."

The place was packed, and we watched him work quickly and efficiently behind the bar. In no time, we'd started a tab, gotten our drinks, and were scouring the room for a table. Bella spotted one on the far side of the room, and we sorted of wormed our way through the crowd – she led the way, gripping my hand tightly as she pulled me along.

A band had just gotten started when we settled in. Our stools were next to each other and situated in such a way I could easily scoot her – or me – closer. Ever since we'd left Emmett and Rose, it was like I couldn't get enough of her. Something had shifted between us. I had no idea what, but if her hand wasn't in mine, some other part of me – or her – was touching. The pull I always felt around her was in full force, the field tightening around us until it was just the two of us, completely lost in each other.

Everything was in focus. The way her lips wrapped around the tip of her beer bottle and then curled into a coy smile when she caught me staring. The gentle sway of her body as we moved to the rock and roll of the music. How her fingers felt when they wrapped around the back of my neck and her lips touched mine. The way her tongue tasted in my mouth or how soft her lips were against my jaw. On and on and on until the edges of the evening started blur and soften from the alcohol and her.

I pulled her back to my front and wrapped my arm around her waist just as the music began to fade. She'd long since lost the black sweater she'd been wearing, leaving her neck fully exposed in a flowy white top, and I'd been mesmerized by that space where her neck and shoulder met – the same one I'd kissed in Seattle, the one I'd almost ruined everything over.

But not again. Not that time. All the eagerness and want I'd felt coiled deep inside me, tightening its grip on me until all I could do was dip my head and run my nose just behind her ear and down her neck, pressing kisses along the way. Her fingers tightened on my forearms, and she sank back against me as I brushed my lips on _that_ spot. It was soft and warm and smelled so good. A kiss. Two. Then three little baby ones, and I swear, she moaned. Or maybe I imagined it in the buzz of the crowd around us. I didn't care, because I knew what I wanted. Her. I wanted to be with her, to show her exactly how sexy and beautiful and amazing she was, how she was literally all I could and had been thinking about all night.

"You wanna get out of here?" I asked, my voice rough and low against her ear.

She turned her head just slightly, enough for me to see her dark eyes and the sassy smile I'd been lost in all night long spread. My lips found her, and there was no hesitation, no indecision, just me showing and telling her exactly what I was thinking.

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><p>I'll try to get another one in tomorrow. Thanks for all the love!<p> 


	38. Chapter 38: Test

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Thanks to jadsmama for prereading and to mycrookedsmile for holding my feet to the fire... always. Love you girls!

**Word Prompt: Test**

**Saturday, 31 December**

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><p>The cab ride back to my place was probably the longest ten minutes of my life. I was hyperaware of every move she made – everytime she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, the way her fingertips skimmed the top of my thighs in lazy circles, or how her body was fused against mine as she got as close as she possibly could – and it was driving me insane. My head was completely abuzz from the alcohol and her, and as I buried my face into the top of her hair and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her that much closer, I desperately tried to pull myself together.<p>

The entire time we'd been at the bar had been a test of my restraint. I'd promised myself I wouldn't do this, that I wouldn't sleep with her until we'd talked, until she fully trusted me, and I knew we were both close. But we weren't there. And yet, all I could think about was her. Touching her. Kissing her. Seeing her naked… again… and God help me, loving her.

After the week we'd had together, there was no doubt that's how I felt, but I sure as hell wasn't ready to say that. And I doubted she was either. To hear it or say it.

Her fingers inched up bit by bit, and if she didn't stop it I wasn't going to make it. I shifted, discreetly trying to adjust myself, and reached for her hand. I brought it to my lips, brushing my lips across her knuckles and then turned it and kissed her open palm. She sighed and nestled a little closer.

When the cab stopped in front of my apartment building, I handed him some money, climbed out, and helped her out of the car. I'd say I was trying to be chivalrous, but I just wanted her next to me.

I unlocked the door and held it open for her. She turned, a coy smile on her face and my hand in hers, and walked in backwards, her eyes locked with mine. If I thought she was beautiful before, seeing her like that – so open, so vulnerable, so… into me - then there were no words to describe her at that moment. Her cheeks were flushed the most gorgeous pink, and her eyes burned with an intensity I'd never seen.

I followed her in and kicked the door closed behind me, and then pulled her against my chest. She stumbled forward a bit and giggled as she landed against my chest with a little umph. My arms wrapped around her waist and settled at the small of her back. I dipped my head just as she tipped hers up, and my lips found hers.

What started as slow, teasing kisses quickly turned into something more. More heat. More pressure. More touch. My back was against the door, and there wasn't an inch of space between us. All the blood was rushing through my body, and I was pretty sure I'd never been this hard or wanted anyone as much as I wanted her.

Bella tugged on my shirt, pulling it from my jeans, and slowly slid up my chest. I slammed my head back against the door, completely lost in the sensation of her fingers burning my already overheated skin. I tugged it over my head, eliminating one barrier between us, and couldn't help the burst of pride I felt when I saw her eyes flit down to check me out and her teeth sink into her bottom lip.

I brought my hands to either side of her neck and gently tilted her head up, forcing her eyes to meet mine. "Your turn," I said playfully.

She blushed an even deeper shade of pink, and I couldn't help but brush my thumbs across the apples of her cheeks. So soft and smooth and warm to the touch. Because of me. For me. Hell, I didn't even know, but I loved it all the same.

She took a step back and slowly started walking down the hall. With every step she took, she bared a little more of herself, losing that soft black sweater first and then the flowy white top just as she rounded the corner toward my room.

I picked up the pace and followed after her, loving how sexy her playfulness was. She was sitting on the edge of the bed when I walked in, wearing her jeans and a hotter than hell lace bra, and just the sight of her, in my room, on my bed, was material my fantasies were made of. I'd imagined her like that so many times since I'd been home, and she was there, in the flesh.

I took my time and kicked off my shoes and padded toward her. She'd extended her arms behind her and was reclining a little bit. It was like she was waiting for me, beckoning me to come to her like some gorgeous siren.

"What're you thinking about right now, Dr. Cullen?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with that same glint I'd seen at the bar. But there was something else there, too. A little vulnerability, a hint of nerves, maybe?

I stepped in between her legs just as she sat up and hooked her fingers in the belt loops of my jeans. "How gorgeous you are. And how lucky I am that you're here," I said, all of a sudden feeling vulnerable.

She leaned forward, her arms gliding up and around my waist,and pressed a series of little kisses against my stomach. I swallowed thickly, overwhelmed with the image of her right _there_, kissing me, her hands all over me... I squeezed my eyes closed, holding it all at bay.

Her fingers started fumbling with the buckle of my belt, and it clinked as it fell open, I realized what was happening. Not that I didn't _realize_what was going on, but my own self-doubt and Emmett's words danced on the periphery, keeping me from fully giving in.

"Bella," I groaned, shifting my hips away from her.

She pressed forward, and I clenched my jaw and forced myself to breath, fighting the desire to let go, to just feel and give and take. But that nagging sensation in the back of my mind, the one that often meant I was overthinking, just wouldn't let go.

"Sweet girl, please" I whispered as I put my hands on the tops of her arms and gently nudged her back.

She looked at me, confusion twisting her beautiful face. I wondered if I was doing the right thing, but I knew I would regret this – even if it was amazing – later if I didn't at least try to talk to her.

"Please don't look at me like that, baby," I said as I shifted to the side and sat down.

I sighed and ran my hands up and down her back in what I hoped was a soothing gesture. "I just… can we talk for a second?" I asked.

I flipped on the lamp beside my bed. It was still a little on the dark side, but I wasn't sure the blaring lights over head would help. I slid across the comforter, so we were facing each other, legs crossed, and knees just barely touching.

She picked up a pillow and held it to her chest, closing herself off to me. I wondered where to begin, if I should just come out and tell her exactly what was on my mind, but as always, she beat me to the punch.

"What's going on, Edward." I could hear the hurt and frustration in her voice, and I knew I had to fix what I had clearly ruined.

I reached for one of her hands and gently wrapped my fingers around hers. And then I started talking.

"I'm sorry. I just… I needed to slow things down. I want you, Bella. You have no idea. It's just… before you came here, I promised myself I wouldn't just try to get you into bed with me."

She snorted, and I pressed on.

"I know that's not what's happening here. What we have… this week… it's been perfect. At least to me. We've started talking, learning who we both are, and I want so much more for us. I want you to trust me. Completely. And I know I haven't earned that, yet."

"But-" she started. I squeezed her fingers.

"Hear me out, okay?"

She pursed her lips and nodded her head.

"I know I'm probably not your stereotypical guy. Hell, I know I'm not," I said, gripping the back of my neck and hoping I was making some sense. "My life has been completely turned upside down since I walked into your office that day. And I mean that in the best way, because I wouldn't change a second of the time we've spent together since then. But I just... I can't sleep with you if you don't trust me.

"I want this to be special, not just some random roll in the hay. I want us to be together, whatever it takes, and I... God, I know this is fast and sudden, but I've never been more sure about anything in my whole life."

She looked at me, and it was like she was forcing my hand. "What exactly are you sure about?" she asked, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"You. Us. And even though we're just figuring things out and everything seems nebulous and undefined, I need you to know... I'm all in."

And I was. I was in love with her. I knew it. It wasn't like I'd had some weird epiphany. It was the realization that I was so much happier with her, that she brought out the best in me (at least I thought so), helped me work through the less than great parts, and my friends loved her. At that moment, I realized that I'd move to Seattle in an instant, if that's what it took to be together.

After it was all out, I felt completely spent, like I'd just poured out my soul. And I guess I had. Bella didn't say anything as she looked down at her lap, the pillow pressed tightly against her chest, and I tried to remember that she was a processor, that she needed time to clarify her thoughts before she said what was on her mind.

And so I waited, all the while wondering what was going on inside her head. I wondered if I'd said too much, too fast, but her fingers were still linked with mine; I took it as a positive sign but didn't dare move for fear she'd pull them away.

She sniffled, and her shoulders shook with little sobs; unable to bear it, I reached for her and pulled her into my lap. She buried her head against my chest and cried. I brushed my hands through her long hair and trailed my fingers up and down her back in a slow even circuit. Eventually she quieted, and I shifted her just slightly in order to see her face.

It was a little red and blotchy, and her eyes were red-rimmed and framed by wet lashes. Gently, I brushed my fingertips across her cheek, attempting to dry the remaining tears.

"Please talk to me, sweet girl," I pleaded, echoing her words from just minutes before.

She smiled, just a small one. "I want that, too, Edward," she whispered, her voice still teary and a little rough. She might as well have screamed it at the top of her lungs, because that's exactly how it felt. "But you're right. I'm not fully there, with trusting that you won't break my heart again, but I'm getting there."

I pressed my forehead against hers as I gently cupped my palm against her cheek. "Thank you," I whispered and then tenderly touched my lips to hers.

As our mouths slid against each other, my tongue touched hers, and it was like a switch flipped. What had initially been about talking was now about showing. I nipped and sucked and tasted, so much relief and love and hope and excitement coursing through me I was sure she could feel it from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. I kissed her hard, my tongue tangling with hers until we were both breathless.

Bella look at me, eyes certain and strong - just like the Bella I loved. "I know we have stuff to talk about, but I just… can we just let tonight be about us? We don't have to do everything, but I need you, Edward."

I nodded, swallowing hard, and lay her back on the bed, my knees on either side of her hips as I hovered above her. And for once in my life I just went with it.

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><p>A little self promo: I posted my entry for the Age of Edward Contest - <em>The Minstrel and The Maiden Swan.<em> I'd love to hear your thoughts. There are a bunch of other great entries, and voting begins next week. Please take a minute to read and leave all these authors some love. _http : / / www . fanfiction . net /community/Age_Of_Edward_2011/95685/_

Thank you SO much for all the lovely reviews. I have read every single one of them and will finally get back to my normal routine tomorrow. So... these two finally had a talk...


	39. Chapter 39: Rumble

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

I've decided that mycrookedsmile is going to have to live in my pocket, because I need her. Every day. And she indulges my need and always makes these chapters better.

**Word Prompt: Rumble**

**Saturday, 31 December**

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><p><em>As our mouths slid against each other, my tongue touched hers, and it was like a switch flipped. What had initially been about talking was now about showing. I nipped and sucked and tasted, so much relief and love and hope and excitement coursing through me I was sure she could feel it from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. I kissed her hard, my tongue tangling with hers until we were both breathless.<em>

_"I know we have stuff to talk about, but I just… can we just let tonight be about us? We don't have to do everything, but I need you, Edward."_

_I nodded, swallowing hard, and lay her back on the bed, my knees on either side of her hips as I hovered above her. And for once in my life I just went with it._

I brushed a piece of hair away from the side of her face and looked down at her, mesmerized by the browns and golds staring back at me.

"You're so beautiful, Bella," I whispered before touching my lips to hers.

I sucked her bottom lip between my own, tasting, teasing, and wanting more. Her lips parted, and my hips pressed against hers just as her hands found their way to my hair, scratching lightly on my scalp and on the back of my neck.

With my hands gently cupping her jaw, I let myself get lost in the feel of her lips, her tongue moving against mine, and the little sounds she made that made everything inside me clench that much tighter.

I sat back just slightly, and she lifted her eyebrows, that same playfulness from earlier returning, and grinned. "Touch me."

She was trying to kill me; there was no doubt of that.

With her hands on my shoulders, she tugged me forward. I shifted my hips a little closer to hers, settling one leg in between hers, and dipped my head to kiss the soft place between her neck and shoulder. Her skin was warm against my lips, and I could feel her pulse thump-thumping beneath the surface. I inhaled deeply, relishing the scent that was just _her_, and I knew it would never be enough.

I nipped and kissed my way up her neck, across the smooth plane of her jaw, and captured her lips in a deep, needy kiss. Her hands moved against me, down my arms and across my back. Her touch was like fire, and like a man trapped in a blizzard of intensity and emotion, I couldn't get warm enough. I pressed my thigh in between her legs, and her nails dug into the muscles in my back as she whimpered softly.

I did it again just so I could hear her make that noise again. She didn't disappoint. I sat back and let my eyes trace the rise and fall of her chest, the soft roundness of her breasts in that sexy as hell lace bra, down to the smooth skin of her stomach. I wanted to touch her everywhere and nowhere, because I knew once I did it wouldn't be enough.

With a deliberateness I didn't even know I possessed, I pressed my fingertips on top of her heart and spread my hand until it was resting flat against her chest. Her eyes were soft, so vulnerable when they met mine, and if I had any doubts that she wanted this, they melted away. I dragged my fingers down her side, skimming along the curve of her breast, the dip at her waist just above her hip, to the top of her jeans and back up, relearning her body. I found the little freckle at the top of her ribcage I remembered from before and the scar left over from the belly button piercing she'd gotten our senior year.

"Missed this," I said roughly as I opened my mouth and nipped at her collarbone. She twisted her neck just so, opening herself to me as I lavished the hollow of her throat with attention before drifting to the tops of her breasts. I pressed a kiss along the line of rough lace, hearing her breath catch and watching her skin pebble beneath my touch. Her hands slid around my back and dipped into the top of my jeans, but I pushed them away. She might have needed this to be about us, but I needed it to be about her.

Her eyes, dark and heavy, were fixed on me, and I grinned before pulling the cup of her bra down and gently sucking her nipple in between my lips. I swirled my tongue against it, loving the slightly salty taste that reminded me of the way she'd pressed against me at the bar. She'd wanted me then, and fuck me, it was clear that she wanted me now. She moaned and arched her back, pushing her hips into mine. I groaned, squeezing my eyes closed as my dick, already hard, twitched.

I moved to the other side, suckling and nipping, taking her deeper than before. Her answering cry and bucking hips pushed me to go deeper. As I gently tugged her nipple between my teeth, I rolled her other one and was rewarded with an equally needy cry. She writhed beneath me, begging for friction. With a dip of my hips I ground against her, and she sighed. She fucking sighed in relief.

But I was just getting started. I kissed my way down her stomach, glancing up to see her breasts still straining above the lace of her bra. I paused. As hot as it was, I wanted her to be free and naked beneath me. I quickly slid my hands behind her back, tasting my way behind the trail my fingers left, and removed her bra.

"Edward," she whispered, all throaty and full of desire, and pulled me in for a kiss that sent a shiver down my entire body. She dug her hands into my hair, tugging and grinding against me. I kissed her back, my tongue sliding against hers, as I pressed my erection exactly where she wanted it. I heard and felt her whimper in my mouth. I did it again. And again and again.

I could tell she was getting close, but I wanted more. I pulled my mouth from hers and made my way down her body, savoring every single bit, until I was tugging her jeans over her hips and slowly down her legs.

I kissed the instep of her foot. Her ankle. The soft curve of her calf. The bend of her knee. Up, up, up, until I pressed my lips against the matching lace of her panties. She shifted her hips up and against me, and I could tell she wanted more. I did it again, taking a moment to breathe in the smell of her arousal and the remnants of her perfume.

_Perfection._

With each upward thrust, I pushed my own hips against her leg. From that point, I was lost. Completely lost in the sight of her responding to every single thing I was doing to her. My fingers slipped inside her panties, and she gasped as I touched her hot, slick skin.

Slowly, I circled her clit, and her hand covered mine as she showed me exactly how she liked it. I continued to touch her, but her panties made it difficult. I pulled my hand free, and she whimpered until I hooked my fingers into the waistband and slowly pulled them off, her hips lifting to give me better access.

The sight before me, of her completely naked, open, and waiting for me was almost too much. I lay down beside her, my hands sliding down her body to continue where I'd left off.

I slid my fingers against her lips, against her clit, and slowly pressed two fingers inside her. Her body nearly came off the bed. I did it again, this time stopping to flick and lightly pinch before slowly pumping my fingers.

She arched her back. Her hips rose to meet my touch. Her fingers dug into the bedspread as her head, hair all splayed out and crazy, pressed into the pillow. Breathless moans and whimpers filled the room, and eyes were tightly shut. She was so fucking close.

I sucked a nipple into my mouth, flicking my tongue against it as I moved my fingers faster, hitting her in all the right places with my thumb, until I felt her climax wash over her.

It was single most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Her body sank back into the bed, a pink flush covering every inch of her gorgeous skin. I removed my hand, wiping it on my jeans, and slowly dragged my body up hers, desperately seeking her lips, fusing us back together and reigniting the fire inside me.

As her lips eagerly met mine, our tongues tangling in a frenzied kiss, I pushed my body into hers, relishing the friction and the jolts of pleasure that coursed through me. Her hands were everywhere - in my hair, on my arms, my back, cupping my ass, and drawing me closer, harder against her.

It was too much, but I couldn't get enough. I could feel the telltale signs of my impending climax, and I buried my face in her neck and just let go. Several thrusts later, I succumbed and let the waves of pleasure consume me.

It took me a minute to collect myself, but when I pulled back and looked at the face of the woman I knew had changed my life for the better - in every single way - I saw the happiness I felt reflected right back at me.

"Thank you," I said softly. _For letting me touch you. For giving me this moment, this second chance, with you. For... everything._

She smiled a slow, lazy smile, cupped my face between her hands, and pulled me in for a kiss. "Thank _you_," she said sweetly. "It's been... a while." She giggled, and I hugged her to me, laughing alongside her.

A short while later, after I'd excused myself to clean up, I climbed into bed with her. As I pulled the covers over us, I couldn't help the very satisfied grin that spread across my face. Damn, that was good. I wrapped my arms around her, tugging her back against my chest, and brushed my lips against her shoulder.

The sky rumbled with bursting fireworks. "Happy New Year, Sweet Girl."

"Happy New Year, Handsome.

And for the first time in a long, long time, I knew for sure it would be.

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><p>I fought for every single word of this chapter. I hope it was worth the wait! Thank you thank you thank you for the love!<p> 


	40. Chapter 40: Tangle

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Tangle**

**Sunday, 1 January**

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><p>I woke the next morning with my face pressed against warm, soft flesh. I snuggled a little closer, my arm tightening just slightly around Bella's waist. I inhaled, relishing the barest hint of her perfume. Even after a night at the bar and the very intense… I didn't even know what to call last night, except hot and freaking intense… she still smelled amazing.<p>

She stirred beside me, her back arching as she started to stretch. I laughed at the little high pitched squeak she made when her butt came in contact with my very prominent morning wood. I tried to shift away from her, but it was too late. She'd already felt it, and God help me it felt so good I pushed right back against her.

I peppered feather-light kisses across her shoulder until I was hovering above her and looking at her still-sleep flushed face.

"Good morning, Sweet girl," I said, my voice rough and scratchy.

"Morning, Handsome," she whispered back, equally throaty and deep.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers, loving that she was there, with me, in my bed, tangled up in my awesome comforter.

"What should we do today?" I asked, sliding over a bit so I was half on her and half on the mattress, resting most of my weight on my elbow and side.

She gave me that shifty-eyed, flirty look from last night, and I knew we were in for a good morning. "Hmmm. I don't know. What do you want to do?" she asked, her fingers fluttering lightly against my chest.

I grinned. Devilishly. Because that's how I felt. "I can think of a few things." And from there, I kissed and nipped my way down her body, loving that she was still naked beneath the sheets.

I didn't wait for her to protest or comment before I set to work teasing her, touching her, tasting her until she was writhing underneath me, her hands in my hair, tugging and gripping until she shuddered and let go.

I pressed a kiss against the inside of her thigh, feeling pretty freaking proud of what I'd done, and climbed back up her body, grinning like the Cheshire cat before I kissed her softly.

She sighed. "That was… wow."

I grinned and had never felt more content in my entire life. "Come shower with me?" I asked.

"But what about you?" Her hand trailed down my chest, lower, lower, lower until her fingers wrapped around me.

I groaned. It was bliss. But there was something about the idea of having her in lots of different places that sort of thrilled me and left me feeling playful. "Maybe you could give me a hand with that in the shower?" I asked and winked, before clambering out of bed and walking into the adjoining bathroom.

Steamed filled the bathroom, and it wasn't long before she came padding in. Her hair was all crazy, and her normally pale skin was still flushed. In a word, she was hot. Sexy as hell. And I was the lucky guy who got to have her. Just the thought of it made my dick twitch.

Under the hot spray of water, we stood, wrapped together. Her hands glided across my chest as the water ran in jagged rivulets down her body and mine. If I thought she was beautiful before, seeing her naked and wet in my steamy shower pretty much did me in.

I leaned in and kissed her, hungry to be touching and tasting her all over again. Our tongues tangled in a heated, all-consuming kiss. The mood was so much different from the night before. It was lighter, more carefree, like we were both just eager to explore and relearn all the things we'd both forgotten. The heaviness was gone, and it was replaced with just her and me. I grinned against her lips.

"What are you smiling at?" she as, grinning.

"You."

"Me?"

"You were right about overthinking. It's overrated."

"You know what else is overrated?"

I quirked my eyebrow.

She looked up at me and started a downward trek, pressing kisses against my chest, my abs, my hipbones (God, that felt fucking good), her eyes never leaving mine until she stopped and slowly dropped to her knees.

"Foreplay."

I swallowed thickly, my heart pounding. Was she really going to…? I groaned, because oh hell yes she was, as her hand wrapped around me and she leaned forward and took me in.

I looked down. The head of my dick was between her lips, her tongue flitting out, teasing and swirling. I groaned again, my fingers falling to the top of her head. I wanted to watch, but the sensations and seeing her down there, like _that,_ were too much. Every nerve in my body was like a live wire, on edge, poised and ready, and I couldn't help but push forward, loving how she moaned and sucked a little harder.

I lost myself in the feel of her mouth and tongue, the suction, the twirling, the nipping, and gentle grazing of her teeth until I couldn't take it any longer.

"Baby," I barely managed to grunt in warning.

But she didn't move, and I couldn't hold back any more. And holy Mary of sweet mercy, I came. Hard. Almost to the point of dizziness. And she just took it all.

I stared down at her, so much love and awe coursing through me, and I tugged her up and crashed my lips against her. She tasted like me and her and so fucking good, and I was pretty sure I never wanted to get out of the shower.

Her face was in my hands and hers came to rest on top of mine. I slowed things down and savored the gift before me. "Thank you," I whispered.

She giggled. "I guess it was good?"

I laughed, like tipped my head back and full on laughed. "Uh, yeah. It's uh… been a while," I said, just like she had the night before.

We quickly finished up, washing our bodies and hair, and toweled off together.

"You up for breakfast out?" I asked, scrubbing my hand through my hair.

"Sounds perfect," she said, smiling.

As we both got dressed – me in my room and her in hers – I tried to push aside the fact it was our last day together, that she would be heading back to Seattle the next day. The thought of watching her walk away from me at the airport… my throat tightened and my jaw burned. I wasn't ready to think about that.

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><p>This was not quite how I planned things, but clearly they wanted more. Thanks. Like so much for all your words of encouragement and love for the last chapter. I'm going to try and write today's prompt, as soon as it comes in.<p>

You guys are amazing! xoxo


	41. Chapter 41: Shadow & Dark Hedges

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Shadow**

**Pic Prompt: www . fictionistaworkshop . com /wp-content/uploads/2012/02/The-Dark-Hedges . jpg**

**Sunday, 1 January**

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><p>I took Bella to my favorite pancake house for breakfast. After we'd eaten a tall stack of pancakes and enough bacon to feed an army, I wondered if Bella would be up for going to one of my favorite places just outside the city.<p>

"You up for some walking?" I asked as we climbed into the car.

She nodded. "Sure. Where are we heading?"

"There's a nature preserve just outside of town. It's really gorgeous. Sometimes I go there when I feel stressed or need to think. I was just thinking you might really like it." I smiled and reached for her hand.

She twined her fingers with mine. "Sounds great."

I put the car in gear. I was glad we'd both worn comfortable clothes and shoes. The car ride was quiet, both of us lost in our thoughts. I was still trying to wrap my mind around the week we'd had, how far we'd come, and what things would be like once she left for Seattle. My stomach twisted, and I forced myself to think of something different.

I glanced at Bella out of the corner of my eye. She was staring out the window, taking in the scenery. I wondered what was going on in her mind, if she was thinking what I was thinking.

Squeezing her hand just slightly, I lifted it up to my lips and planted a tiny kiss on the top. She turned and smiled, twisting just a little so she was facing me.

"What's going on in your head, sweet girl?"

She shrugged. "Nothing, really. Just thinking about the week… and heading home."

So, she had been thinking the same thing.

I nodded but didn't say anything. What was there to say? Her leaving sucked, but it was a reality we were going to have to live with… for the time being.

She pulled her hand from mine and shifted again, her back nearly full on against the passenger door, and looked at me. "Thank you for inviting me here, Edward."

Goosebumps prickled on my arms, and I glanced over at her. She had a small smile on her face, but it was the sincerity in her eyes that gave me pause before turning back to face the road.

"This week has been… so much more than I expected."

I looked at her again and wished we weren't driving. I wanted to pull over, but there really wasn't a good place to do it. "Yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah. I can't really say what I expected, but I know I was nervous about coming. I wasn't really sure what you had planned, if your friends would like me, or…if you would feel differently about things once you were back on your own turf."

I jerked my head toward her, surprised she could even think that. "How could you think that, Bella?"

She shrugged. "Old habits?" she asked rhetorically.

I turned back to the road, my heart starting to pound with the guilt of what I'd done. Yes, I'd apologized. I'd done nothing but try to make up for it, help her learn to trust me, to show her exactly how I felt about her… without complaint. Did she still feel that same concern? Had that not come across? My fingers tightened on the steering wheel, and I almost didn't hear her when she started talking.

"Hey," she said, touching my forearm. "Don't do that. Don't start second guessing things. I just meant that _was_ my fear. But this week… has helped me see that things are different." She paused. Silence flooded the car; it was uncomfortable.

I blew out the breath I'd been holding and peeked at her. She was staring at me, her eyes glassy and lip trembling.

"You're different," she whispered.

A relief so intense it would have made the desert sigh in gratitude washed over me. I could hardly pull my eyes away or the car over fast enough. I didn't care that it was less than ideal. I needed to touch her, to hold her, to… fuck, I didn't even know.

I threw the car in park and wrenched my whole body toward her, the console digging into my rib cage. "Bella." I barely managed to choke out her name, so overwhelmed with elation and gratitude that I had been wrong and right and everything in between, as I gently cupped her face and pressed my lips against hers.

I kissed her tenderly, sliding my tongue across her bottom lip until she opened up for me. As our lips moved together, I poured every ounce of myself into it.

I wanted to tell her how amazing she was, that I couldn't imagine my life without her, that I loved her, but I settled for tucking her hair behind her ear and wrapping her in an awkward sort of hug after we finally broke apart.

"I know things are going to be difficult and hard while we're apart," Bella said, "but we're not the same two people we were when you left Seattle. I know we can work through whatever comes our way.

"I'm going to miss you, Edward."

If I thought my chest couldn't get any tighter, I was wrong. Her words were like a catapult, launching me so high so fast, I lost my breath.

"I'm going to miss you, too, sweet girl. So much."

Her fingers wrapped around mine, and we just sat there, content to bask in the knowledge we were completely on the same page, that what we had was good – great, even – and that saying goodbye was going to hurt like hell.

"I hope I didn't ruin your plans for today," she said, breaking the silence.

I grinned. "Of course not, silly. We were actually almost there before you distracted me," I said playfully.

She bumped her shoulder with mine. "Well, fine then."

With one last kiss, I pulled back onto the road. We drove, and everything just felt so much better, lighter, hopeful.

"In just a second, we're going to come to a bend and then we'll be entering the nature reserve."

She nodded, and I pressed on, anxious for her reaction.

The nature preserve we were going to was full of natural waterfalls, babbling brooks, and streams. There were trees and all kinds of flora and fauna that were unique only to this part of the U.S.; in the spring, summer, and fall it was truly stunning. The winter had less to offer, but I wasn't concerned. It was the entrance I really wanted her to see.

I rounded the bend, and she gasped. Her jaw dropped, and her eyes widened in wonder.

In front of us, for about a half mile, was a beautiful avenue of beech trees. They all arched in to form a "V" from both sides of the road. Sunlight poured through, illuminating some parts and casting shadows on others. The curvy branches made it feel like you were driving under an enchanted canopy of nature.

"Wow," she murmured.

"Amazing, isn't?" I asked as we finally passed through.

She twisted around and took in the view behind us. "It is! How did you ever find this place?"

I shrugged. "I heard some coworkers talking about the nature preserve and wanted to check it out. When I got to the beginning I had the same reaction you did. It's awe-inspiring, isn't it?"

She nodded. "So cool."

I pulled into the parking lot and killed the engine. "You ready for more?" I asked.

"If it's all like that, then hell yes."

I grinned and quickly got out and opened her door. We walked hand in hand through the park, laughing and talking, as I pointed out some of my favorite spots. I didn't think to pack a lunch, so when two o'clock rolled around, we were both starving.

I spent the drive home with my hand in Bella's. After our conversation on the way there, she'd been extra touchy. If our hands weren't linked, some part of us was. That kind of thing had driven me crazy with Victoria, but like Bella had said, things were different.

I was different.

_We_ were different.


	42. Chapter 42: Sip

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

NOTE: There was weird editing error at the end of last chapter. It's been corrected, but there was never meant to be a cliffie. I've pasted the correct ending here, as well, so as to avoid any confusion. Sorry about that.

**Word Prompt: Sip**

**Sunday, 1 January**

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><p><em>I spent the drive home with my hand in Bella's. After our conversation on the way there, she'd been extra touchy. If our hands weren't linked, some part of us was. That kind of thing had driven me crazy with Victoria, but like Bella had said, things were different.<em>

_I was different._

_We were different._

_~*WS*~_

After having lunch out, we did a little bit of last minute shopping. Bella wanted to get something small for Jake and Angie, so we trekked back to Carter and Cavero and picked up a couple more bottles of olive oil. The extra bottles she bought for herself didn't escape my notice, both exact replicas of the ones we'd bought together. I ignored the flutter in my stomach at the thought of us cooking together but apart, using the same oil. It was silly, and I knew Emmett or James or Peter would give me hell for thinking like that.

Whatever. I was past the point of caring.

From there, we stopped at the grocery store and picked up ingredients for steaks, roasted veggies, wine, and some kind of baked treat Bella wanted to make. It was all very domestic and comfortable, and I knew I'd miss it when she left the next morning.

"Do you want me to open the wine?" she asked from the kitchen once we got home.

"Sure," I said, moving out to light the grill on the deck. I clicked the igniter and lit the newspaper, hoping it wouldn't take long for it to get the coals nice and ready. I loved the charcoal chimney Vic had gotten me for my birthday last year. It was one of the few good things I'd taken with me when I left.

Bella met me at the door just as I walked in, pushing all thoughts of Vic away. The temperature had dropped once the sun set, and I was anxious to get back inside.

While the grill heated and the veggies cooked in the oven, Bella and I sat facing each other on the couch, wine in hand.

"So," I said tentatively, "I was thinking it would probably be good to talk about a plan for managing the distance. I don't want to just leave things to chance, you know?"

She nodded. "I think that would be good." She took a sip of her wine, her eyes still on mine. "What did you have in mind?"

I took a deep breath, contemplating. "I guess I'll just throw out what I'm hoping for, and we can go from there?"

She smiled and nodded again.

"Okay, well, I would love to talk on the phone each night or whenever would be convenient for both of us. It's hard enough not being able to see you. To have to go without your voice, too, would really suck."

"Agreed."

"I was also thinking we could Skype. Does your computer have a camera?" I asked, lifting my glass for a drink.

"Yep. Built in. Yours?"

"Yeah. Same. What do you think about that?"

"I think you're right. Do we want to play it by ear or try to set a target or something for how often we do it?"

I smirked. "I hope we're gonna do it."

She smacked me in the chest, glaring playfully. "You're suck a dork." With a smirk of her own, she added, "But maybe we will."

I laughed and pulled her onto my lap, taking my time kissing her. She lifted her wine glass to her lips, and I watched the burgundy liquid disappear between her lips. She set the glass down and turned back to me, her arms sliding around my neck.

"I'm going to miss you, Handsome."

"Not as much I'll miss you."

Her lips met mine, light and soft, and she smiled. "It's not a competition, you know."

I slid my hands around her waist, pulling her a little closer to me. "I know. I just meant I'm really going to miss you. Having you here this week has been sorta amazing."

"My thoughts exactly."

~*WS*~

By the time dinner was over and the dishes had been washed and put away, we were both tired. We decided to watch a movie and were snuggled up on the couch under a blanket. Her head was against my chest, and her legs were draped across mine. In a word it was perfect.

I let my mind wander. After talking about the specifics, we had agreed to talk on the phone each night. One of us would call around ten my time, seven hers. If we felt like talking before then or whenever, of course we would, but that would be our prearranged meeting time. Texting whenever we felt like it was obvious.

We also agreed to try to Skype twice a week but would be flexible. We both had busy professional lives, and sometimes the best-laid plans just didn't work out. It appeared that the word of the day was flexibility. With the time difference and distance, things wouldn't be easy, and we both needed to remember that circumstances and events could change. I had a feeling we'd learn that lesson the hard way.

I wasn't sure about the next trip out to Seattle, so we were going to play that by ear. I would have a better idea what I was facing once I got into work on the third. Regardless, though, I promised her we wouldn't go long without seeing each other. If I had to make a special trip out there, I would.

The movie came to an end, and I turned off the television. The room was flooded with darkness.

"You ready for bed, sweet girl?" I asked, pressing my lips to the top of her head.

"Mhmm," she murmured, snuggling a little closer to me.

I tightened my arm around her and sat there for a minute longer.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," she said softly, sadly.

"I know." That feeling of dread that had been in the pit of my stomach all day flared. "I'm not ready for you to leave."

"Me neither."

~*WS*~

I was sitting on the edge of my bed when she came out of her bathroom. She peeked her head in and smiled, walking toward me. She stopped just between my legs, lifted her hand, and lightly brushed a piece of my hair from my forehead.

I leaned forward and rested my forehead against her stomach. Her hands slid down the back of my hair and came to rest on the top of my shoulders. I breathed in, relishing her clean laundry and Bella smell. My arms automatically slid around her waist, and it was like I couldn't get close enough. My stomach twisted with nerves and an uncomfortable ache. I didn't want to be away from her, couldn't believe she was already leaving, and had no idea how I was going to get back into the groove once she was gone.

I tipped my head back and looked up at her. A slow lazy smile spread across her lips. "Hi, Handsome," she said and bent down and lightly touched her lips to mine.

"Will you sleep with me tonight?" I asked and then quickly added, "in my bed, I mean. I just…"

"I'd like that," she said, her cheeks flushing a soft shade of pink.

It was funny how we were both still so tentative about that part of our relationship, especially when we'd basically spent the night before and a good part of the morning doing way more than sleeping.

I scooted back, the bottom of her nightshirt in my hand, and pulled her forward. She climbed onto the bed, her knee pushing into the mattress, as she easily settled in beside me.

We talked quietly, but mostly we just stayed cuddled together, resting until we were both falling asleep.

"Hey, Edward," she whispered, a hint of lightness in her voice, "I can't sleep like this."

"Okay," I said, drawing out the word, unsure. "What do you mean?"

She giggled. "It's stupid, but I always sleep on my left side."

I realized she was on her right side, facing me. I didn't really want to stop looking at her face, but I also wanted her to get some sleep. I leaned forward and kissed her, my hand moving up to rest on her cheek as my lips slid against hers with the same comfortable ease that had been developing between us throughout the week.

With a sigh, I pulled away and waited until she'd rolled over, her back to my front. I wrapped my arm around her waist, pressed myself as close to hers as I could, and drew a measure of comfort from the quiet, steady rhythm of her breath until I fell asleep.

~*WS*~

**Monday, 2 January**

We woke up wrapped around each other, just like we had the day before. She was warm and soft, and I wanted nothing more than to take my time exploring and learning, touching and loving her. Unfortunately, time wasn't on our side, and reluctantly we dragged ourselves out of bed and into our respective showers.

The morning moved at warp speed, at least that's how it felt, and before I knew it we were at the airport. I waited behind the roped off lines and watched her lug her bag forward, check-in, and return with boarding pass in hand.

"All set?" I asked, forcing a smile.

She nodded, her eyes drifting down to her carry-on bag, for one final check.

I reached out my hand, craving the warmth of her skin. She took it, and even though I knew it was going to be short-lived, it was just enough to make it bearable.

We walked toward the security gate and decided to stop for a quick cup of coffee. Bella still had about thirty minutes before she needed to get to the terminal, and I was anxious to spend every single second I could with her.

Neither of us said much, both lost in our own thoughts, but her hand was in mine and we were about as close as we could be while still being decent in public. There were some sad smiles, whispered words of insignificance, and a few tender kisses. Not enough to really be enough, but enough because it had to be.

I glanced at my watch. It was time for her to go.

"Time?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yeah," I said, my voice unusually quiet. I could hardly look at her, and yet I couldn't _not_ look. Everything about her was beautiful and amazing, and the thought of her walking away from me was barely tolerable. I cursed the distance between us for what felt like the tenth time that morning.

"It's going to be okay, Edward. You know that right?" she asked, her finger gently nudging my chin up, so I was forced to look at her.

The look on her face reflected the same sadness I felt, but more importantly, a determination I knew she had finally found and admitted during this trip.

"You're right. We've got a plan. We're going to be fine."

A quick kiss, then another, and we both stood up. I grabbed her bag, and we walked toward the gates. When we got to the security line, Bella turned and threw her arms around me.

I dropped her bag on the floor, buried my face in her neck, and squeezed her with everything I had. "Thank you, sweet girl, for everything," I said against her hair.

She pulled back, her eyes shimmering, and smiled. "Bye, Handsome. I'll call you when I land."

I swallowed thickly, feeling my throat constrict and my eyes start to burn. "I'll be waiting."

With that, I watched her walk to security, load her bags on the conveyer belt, and go through the scanner. Just before she was out of sight, she turned and waved. I lifted my hand even though it felt like I was moving through mud. She smiled that gorgeous smile – the one that lit up her face and crinkled the corners of her eyes – and I returned it with my own, hoping the ache I felt didn't show.

Slowly, she turned and walked away, glancing over her shoulder one last time, leaving me feeling lonely and incomplete.

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><p>We're at a turning point... expect some time jumps and forward movement in the coming chapters. Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews and for loving and rooting for these two! xoxo<p> 


	43. Chapter 43: I Miss You

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

_Note the time jump._

**Dialogue Flex: "I miss you," she said.**

**Friday, 3 February**

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><p>I grabbed my laptop from the kitchen table and another beer from the fridge and quickly walked back to the bedroom. I had been waiting all day and most of the evening to Skype with Bella, and I wanted to be ready when she came online. I changed into my favorite flannel pants, pulled on a t-shirt, and sat down, snuggling between my sheets and comforter. I was still sad that I'd had to wash my sheets. Two weeks after Bella left, I realized I still hadn't changed the sheets. Even for a bachelor, I knew that was disgusting, so I'd reluctantly thrown them into the wash.<p>

I missed her smell. Not that it was still there two weeks later, but I could pretend.

Feeling ridiculous for wallowing, I grabbed my laptop and fired it up. James and Emmett had teased me relentlessly for being what they both called a lovesick pussy. They were right, of course; I was lonely, and I missed Bella. A lot. I had no idea how empty my place would feel after she'd left, but it did. I could hardly stand to be there, but I also didn't want to leave. She was everywhere, and the memories were pretty much all I had at the moment.

Well, that and our phone/text/Skype dates. But it was quickly feeling like it wasn't enough. I missed _her._ I missed seeing her face and hearing her laugh, or snuggling with her on the couch or in my bed, holding her hand… the list went on and on.

I grabbed my beer and took a sip. The cool liquid felt good as it went down, as did the bitter bite at the end. I opened Skype, logged in, and waited. Bella and I had only managed to Skype twice since she'd been back in Seattle. Our schedules had both been completely insane. She was buried under classes, working on her book, and prepping for a conference she was supposed to speak at in late March, and I had been swamped with the new project I had lovingly dubbed, PFH – Project From Hell.

In the time since I'd been back from the break, I had consistently logged close to seventy-hour work weeks. On top of trying to manage the work in Seattle, I was barely treading water with PFH. I had been asked to partner with a team up in Connecticut as they worked through a series of virology trials. It was a little out of my element, but the challenge, as intense as it was, provided a welcome distraction from my thoughts of Bella. I'd made three trips to the other facility in January, and I was already scheduled for at least two more in February. I hadn't had time to get back out to Seattle, and that was one of the things I wanted to discuss with Bella.

Thus far, she'd been really understanding about my travel schedule, but I was itching to see her. In a bad way. I really, really missed her, and I knew I wouldn't feel better until I got to wrap my arms around and just breathe the same air she was.

_Cheesy._

I heard the beginnings of "She Got the Honey," and grinned. I had changed the Skype tone for her after our first call. Just hearing the upbeat tone made me smile.

"Hey, Pretty girl," I said, my grin widening, answer her call.

She smiled back. "Hey yourself, Handsome."

Just seeing her on my screen made my heart beat a little faster. She was so damn pretty.

"Did you just finish up with yoga?" I asked, taking in (happily, I might add) her skintight black top.

"I did," she said, rolling her shoulders back and tilting her head to the left and then the right. "It was great, actually. I needed it."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just a long day on top of an already long week."

"You can say that again," I added, wistfully. It had been a long month, and I was tired.

She smiled. "I wish you were here. I miss you," she said softly.

"Me too, Sweet girl. Me too." If she even knew the half of it. Who was I kidding? She probably did.

"Any idea when you're coming out here?" Her eyes were sparkling with what I thought was probably a bit of hope and excitement. Just the thought of seeing her again was enough to make my stomach flip-flop.

I shifted a little, pressing my back against the headboard. Before I had a chance to say anything, she smirked.

"Are you in bed?"

"Yeah?" I said, drawing it out, uncertain where she was going.

"Really? Are you all bundled up in your comforter?" she teased.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. You know it's awesome." I had made some comment not too long ago about how much I loved my new bed stuff, and while she'd admitted it was comfie, she'd also given me a hard time.

She giggled, her lips pulling into a gorgeous smile and her shoulders shaking with laughter.

"Too bad you aren't here to snuggle with me," I said, all flirty like. And then I winked.

"Is there something wrong with your eye?" she asked, laughing hysterically.

"You are such a brat. Fine. I'll just snuggle my comforter and save my winks for someone who cares," I whined.

"You're so cute when you pout, Handsome."

I crossed my arms over my chest and stuck out my bottom lip, playing it up. I watched her move around, a smile still on her face, and then she said something that made me feel like I'd just taken a huge gulp of Fizzy Lifting Drink from Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

"I want all your winks."

I'm not sure the smile on my face or the puffed up feeling in my chest could have gotten any bigger. "They already are, Sweet girl," I said just as seriously, just as softly.

There was a slight pause in the conversation, and I took the time to just look at her. Really look at her. I knew she was pretty, gorgeous, beautiful, but seeing her in front of me and yet so far away, I could hardly take my eyes off her. Her hair was still up in a ponytail, but little bits had come down while she was working out. The tops of her shoulders were exposed, tone and firm, and her boobs. Well, let's just say they were perfect and just a little bit on display in her V-neck top. I had to force my eyes to stay open and to suppress a groan as I thought about how she felt in my hands, against my chest… yeah, I really needed to go visit.

As if she could read my thoughts, she arched her eyebrow at me. "So, when do I get to see you again?"

We talked through the logistics of me coming out in two weeks. I had hoped to get out there earlier, but it just wasn't going to happen.

"So… you'll be out here Valentine's weekend?" she asked, a little flush blooming on her cheeks.

I scratched my jaw as I quickly pulled up my calendar. "Yeah. The Wednesday after, so the fifteenth. I was just going to extend my trip through the weekend. Is that okay?"

"Of course, it is! Less than two weeks. I can't wait!"

Everything inside me, still so happy about our whole conversation, swelled just a little more. How had I gotten so lucky?

"Me neither. I am dying to spend some time with you. I'll get a hotel close to your place, so I won't have to drive far," I said as I picked up my beer to take a drink.

"Wait. Just…" She paused and so did I. "Would you like to stay at my place? Instead of the hotel?" She was biting her bottom lip and looking up at me as if she actually thought I'd say no.

I lowered the bottle from my lips, my eyes locked with hers as my heart thrummed with excitement. "Uh hell yes. And get you to myself? Yes. Absolutely."

"I have a guest room… if you want sleep there… or you could, you know, stay in mine."

I know my jaw must have dropped and my eyes widened. _She wanted me to stay at her house. With her. In her room. _ I'd thought about asking her if that was an option, but it seemed so forward. It was one thing for her to come visit me for pleasure and stay at my apartment, but for whatever reason, it seemed different when I was going to Seattle for work.

"You don't have to. I mean, if you-"

"Bella. Yes. Absolutely I want to stay with you," I said, interrupting her nervous rambling.

"Okay," she whispered, smiling softly, her cheeks pink.

"The less I have to be away from you the better. I want you all to myself." I paused. "And to meet your friends and do whatever you want to do."

I felt like we were in a much better, more solid place in our relationship, but I was still holding back, letting her lead. I certainly hadn't been shy about my feelings, but I also didn't want to tread too heavily.

She smiled, that eye-crinkling, full-toothed smile I loved. "Good. Because I want to introduce you to Jake and Angie. I'll see what they're up for and make plans. This is going to be so great, Edward."

We talked for another hour about work and all kinds of random things. I had learned early on that it didn't really matter what we were discussing as long as we were talking, that if we could hear each other's voices, we were somehow okay. But after I wished her a good night and promised I'd call her the next day, I realized that our call had been so much more than okay.

It was progress. Forward movement. Her showing me, without having to say the words that she was learning to trust me. And nothing except being with her in person, holding her, loving her, could ever compare to the way it made me feel to know that I was finally fixing things between us.

* * *

><p>Thanks to Cared for pointing out that Winter Song is on the Honourable Mention List of the Best of 2011 on FanFic Fridays at Rob Attack. I'm deeply touched.<p>

Thanks for all the lovely reviews. So, they're apart… and I love how you guys are all rooting for them! xoxo


	44. Chapter 44: Television

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Thanks to mycrookedsmile for lending her eyes... and for reminding me to remind you that PFH = Project From Hell.

**Word Prompt: Television**

**Thursday, 9 February**

* * *

><p>"Edward Cullen," I said as I picked up my phone, cradled it between my shoulder and ear, and continued typing. I'd just gotten back into the office from Connecticut, and I was behind on everything.<p>

"'Sup, bro," Emmett said.

I stopped typing and smiled. "Hey, man. What's up?"

"Nothin'. Wanted to see if you wanted to catch the Devil's game tonight with us."

"Who's us?" I asked as I continued scrolling through my email, distracted.

"Me, James, and Peter. We're meeting at The Princeton at 7. You in?"

I glanced at the clock. I had a few more hours worth of work I needed to plow through, but I could probably swing it.

"Yeah. I'll be there."

"Cool. Oh and Rose wanted me to invite you over for dinner on Sunday."

I smiled. "Thanks man. Tell her yes. Should I bring something?"

"I'll have her call you. You know I don't get in the way of her dinner plans."

I laughed. "Yeah, good call."

"Later."

I hung up the phone and sat back in my chair as I reread one of the emails I'd scanned while on the phone. Ben had sent me a shitload of notes on the virology trial, background reading, he'd called it, and I was drowning in data. I had no real clue how to help the PFH team get on track, but after making the trip up north on Tuesday and Wednesday, things were looking up.

I was hoping I wouldn't have to return for a while. In truth, I wasn't really even sure what my presence did that a phone couldn't. I'd try to force the issue next time.

~*WS*~

Just as I was packing up to meet the guys, a break I was really looking forward to, Ben appeared at the door.

"Got a sec?" he asked.

The last time he'd asked that, I'd ended up in Seattle and my life had irrevocably changed. I chuckled to myself.

"Sure. What's up?"

He gave me a funny look. "What're you laughing about?"

I waved my hand dismissively. "Nothing."

He came in and sat down, and therefore I did, too. By the set of his shoulders, it looked like I was going to be there for a while.

Forty-five minutes later I was shaking my head vigorously.

"I don't need to go to Connecticut again next week, Ben. Besides, I'm already set to go to Seattle. I haven't been out there to touch base with the team since before the holidays," I said, trying not to allow my emotions to get the better of me.

I breathed, trying to sift through everything he'd said about Graham wanting to pour as much time, energy, and attention into the PFH trial as possible.

"I get that, Edward, but the team out there is fine. They don't need you any time soon, and to be honest, I think it might make sense to hand that project over to Steve. It would be a great opportunity for him to really step up and lead the team."

I stared at him, trying to keep my jaw from dropping or my eyes from bugging out of my head. Everything he'd said was true, but the thought of giving up my lifeline to Bella was simply unpalatable.

I shook my head, trying to formulate my thoughts into something coherent. As a general rule, I would have been fine with a suggestion like that, but the idea of having to spend less time with Bella… yeah, it sucked.

"Look, as much as I'd like to say it's negotiable, it really isn't. Graham specifically wants you heading up stuff in Connecticut. It's a great opportunity for you. You don't want to walk away from this," he said as he stood up from his chair.

"How about this," I said, as he started walking toward the door. "How about I go ahead and take my trip out to Seattle, work with Steve on the plan forward, and transition everything over to him. I think it would be good closure for me, and it'll definitely be good for him," I said, trying to keep the edge of desperation out of my voice. What I didn't say was I was going out there regardless, even if it meant taking some vacation days. Nothing was going to preempt my trip to visit Bella.

Ben nodded. "Fair enough. When are you heading out there?"

I suppressed my smile. "I'm set to leave on Wednesday."

"Hmmm," Ben hummed, pursing his lips in thought. "What about this?" he asked as he proceeded to lay out a plan that would satisfy Graham's request for me to head to Connecticut early the following week while still giving me the chance to get out to Seattle to transition Steve.

"So, instead of Wednesday, you want me to head out Thursday?" I asked, making sure I understood what he was saying.

"Yep. In fact, if you'd like you could just fly directly from Connecticut to Seattle on Wednesday night, if that works better."

I nodded. "Yeah, if I do that it'll give me two full days with Steve and the team. I think I'll do that."

We wrapped up the conversation quickly, and while I wasn't thrilled, I realized it wasn't the end of the world either.

_So much for forcing the issue_, I thoughtas I grabbed my bag and walked to my car. I saw Em had texted a while ago to see if I'd gotten lost. I replied with some smart-ass comment about where he'd find my foot, if he really wanted to go there. Then I fired off a text to Bella, telling her my plans for the evening and asked if we were still on for our phone date. I needed to talk with her about the change in plans and hoped she wouldn't be too upset.

I waited a second but didn't hear back from her. I knew she was probably in class or in office hours, so it wasn't really surprised.

~*WS*~

By the time I got to The Princeton, the game had already started, the table was littered with bottles and what looked like the remains of a bunch of little chickens.

I shuddered at the thought. I wasn't normally squeamish, but for whatever reason, their leftover wing bones didn't look appetizing in the least.

"Glad you could join us," James said, punching my shoulder as I walked by.

I winced. "What the hell, man?"

"Don't be such a sissy. Were you on the phone with Lover girl?" he teased.

I glared at him as I stopped a passing waitress and placed my order before taking a seat.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I was working, asshole."

He laughed, a smirk crossing his features. "So, that's what they're calling it these days?"

I rolled my eyes and ignored him. Good thing we were such good friends.

The night passed quickly enough as we stared at the television, drinking and talking stats and playoff hopes. I kept glancing at my phone, expecting to see a response from Bella, but nothing ever came through.

"You okay, E?" Peter asked as I tucked my phone back into my pocket.

"Yeah, just need to talk to Bella."

He nodded and took a swig of beer. "Things still going well?"

I tipped my own bottle back and nodded. "Yeah. Great, actually."

"Cool. When you seeing her next?"

"Next week. Heading to Seattle Wednesday night through the weekend."

"Tell her I said hi," he added and then turned back to the screen.

I smiled. "I will. Thanks, man."

By the time the night was over, I'd sent Bella two more texts, all without response. As I drove home, I dialed her number, but it went straight to voicemail. A weird sense of unease settled in my stomach as I lay in bed. I thought about trying to call her again but decided not to. There was a reason she wasn't answering, and as much as I wanted to get to the bottom of it, I knew she'd call me when she could.

Still, it didn't stop me from sending her a short email just to check on her, telling her I was home and to call whenever she could. Eventually, after tossing and turning, I fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

><p>Love you!<p> 


	45. Chapter 45: Paid

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Paid**

**Friday, 10 February**

* * *

><p>The sound of my alarm jolted me awoke the next morning. I slammed my hand down, fumbling for the right button, until the blaring finally stopped. I didn't even both looking at the clock. I knew it was six, and the idea of dragging myself out of bed was unappealing at best. I groaned and rolled over, burying my head in my pillow and pulling the comforter up to my chin.<p>

I could feel the telltale signs of exhaustion – the fogginess of my thoughts, the subtle throbbing in my head, the way my body felt heavy and lethargic – courtesy of a very rough night of non-sleep. I squeezed my eyes closed and saw the bursts of black and white behind my eyelids, and that's when it hit me - Bella.

I sat up and reached for my phone, hoping there was a text or a missed call or something, but there was nothing except the home screen. Dejected and confused, I flopped back on my bed, my phone bouncing in the middle of the bed where I'd dropped it.

_Where the hell was she?_

It wasn't like her not to call or text, and I was equal parts irritated and worried. Why hadn't she responded already?

**EC: Please call me.**

With a huff, I threw the covers off my legs and climbed out of bed, padded to the shower and got ready for the day.

~*WS*~

"Everything okay, Edward?" Ben asked after our meeting concluded.

I turned and looked at him blankly. "What?"

"I asked if everything was okay. You've been staring out the window for the last fifteen minutes."

I shook my head and looked around. I hadn't even noticed everyone had already left. I'd been sitting in the conference room all morning, listening to team after team drone on and on about their budget status and other challenges. Normally, I would have been fully engaged, but I still hadn't heard from Bella. I was worried and anxious, despite the fact my phone was set to vibrate and there was no way I could have missed a call or text.

"Yeah, sorry. I just have something personal on my mind, and I'm a little distracted. What'd I miss?" I asked, straightening and leaning forward in my chair.

"Nothing. Just the normal wrap-ups." Ben paused. "You all set with your travel plans for next week? Did you give Steve a heads up you were coming out?"

"Not yet. I'm actually going to do that when I get back to my office."

Ben nodded. "Sounds good. Let me know if you need anything."

We both stood and gathered our things and walked out.

I made a beeline for my office. I had a bunch of stuff to do, and I figured if I could power through it I could get out there early and figure out what the hell was going on.

I pulled up my email and my breath caught. _Bella._

I clicked it open just as Jeb walked into my office. "Hey Boss, you got a sec?"

I held up my finger, never taking my offs of the black and white words in front of me. Not even the CEO of the company could have prevented me from reading that email.

_Hey Handsome,_

_Sorry I didn't call last night. I dropped my phone and the screen shattered, while I was out with Jake. Sadly, the Apple store was already closed when we got there, so I'm still phoneless._

_I have meetings all morning but am going to sneak away this afternoon to get it replaced and set up. Who knew how naked (get your head out of the gutter) I'd feel without it._

_I miss you. I hope you didn't worry. I'll call you as soon as I get up and running._

_Me_

I reread the note, smiling at her gutter comment, and sat back with a sigh of relief. Of course. I should never have doubted her, and I felt a little shitty for having been irritated earlier.

"I can come back," Jeb said, sort of inching out the door.

"No. No, it's fine. I just needed to read that email. What's up?" I asked, waving him in and turning my monitor off.

~*WS*~

I had just paid for my groceries when I heard my phone ring. Juggling the groceries, I barely managed to dig the phone out of my pocket before it had stopped ringing.

"Bella?" I asked, a little too frantic, once I'd answered the phone.

"Hey, Handsome," she said.

"It's so good to hear your voice." And it was. I couldn't believe how much easier it was to breathe.

"Did you get my email? Oh, gosh, you didn't, did you?"

I laughed, glad I could hear the panic in her voice. At least I wasn't alone in my feelings. "I did. Late this morning."

"I'm sorry I didn't think to send one sooner. Once I got your email, I realized you might have been worried…"

_Understatement of the year._

With the phone pressed between my shoulder and ear, I unlocked the car, dropped the groceries in the passenger seat, and walked around to my side. "I was. But it doesn't matter. I'm just so glad to hear your voice. I missed you, Pretty girl."

I heard a little sigh on the other end and smiled. Things finally felt right. "Missed you, too. So, tell me about your day."

We talked the entire way home, while I was putting the groceries away, and as I made dinner. At first it was just the sort of mundane details we rarely needed to share, the day to day run of the mill stuff, but since I hadn't talked to her yesterday, it felt like we needed to reconnect over the little stuff. After she'd done the same, I got to the thing that had been weighing heavily on me since the previous afternoon.

I explained the situation with work, how I'd have to turn the Seattle project over to Steve, that I'd be spending a lot more time in Connecticut, and my new nickname for it.

She laughed. "I can't believe your call it the Project from Hell. That's so bad."

"I know, but it's a monstrosity, and I have no idea how we're going to get the answers the Board is looking for."

"You will. I know you can do it. And you're not alone, you know. You have a great team of scientists and researchers on your side."

I smiled. How was it possible she could make me feel like a million bucks with a few well-chosen words?

"Thanks, love."

We talked a little more about the challenges and how to deal with my new work situation, but she was pretty understanding. I knew she probably would be, but I was still grateful.

"That just means we need to be creative and figure out how to get to each other. Maybe we can pick some fun places to visit, like mini-vacations," she said.

"Hmmm," I murmured. "I hadn't even thought of that, but it could definitely be fun. Maybe we can start thinking about it next week."

"Definitely. So, what's the plan for next week? Are you still planning to come?"

I snorted. "I sure as hell hope so," I said, laughing.

"You are ridiculous," she said, but I could hear the playfulness in her voice. I loved it.

"Just being silly."

"Well, you're probably right."

I coughed, completely caught off guard by her, dare I say, brazenness.

"I'll hold you to it, Pretty girl."

"I'll be looking forward to it."

Good grief, I needed a time machine in a bad way. I needed it to be Wednesday.

We talked through some of the logistics, and the more we did, the more excited I became. I was going to be with her in a matter of days. It had been way too long, and I wasn't even sure the few days we'd have together would suffice. I decided not to dwell.

"I'll be there late Wednesday night, instead of earlier that day."

"Okay. And I guess you're heading home on Sunday?"

"Yep. I'm taking the red-eye, so we'll have all day together. I think my flight's at like nine or ten that night. I'll send my itinerary in a little bit."

"Sounds good. I can't wait for you to get here. I really miss you, Handsome."

I grinned, loving my nickname and the way it sounded coming from her. "I miss you, too."

Silence filled the line. Not the awkward kind, just one that comes after a really long conversation.

"I guess I should let you go," she said reluctantly.

I looked at the clock, surprised to see we'd been talking for over two hours. No wonder my phone was beeping at me.

"Yeah, my phone's about to die. Call me tomorrow?"

"Of course."

"Night, Pretty girl."

"Night, Handsome."


	46. Chapter 46: Journal

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

David Gray owns the lyrics to _We Could Fall in Love Again Tonight. _I'm just using them to make a point.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Thanks to mycrookedsmile for the eyes and just her general awesomeness! xoxo

**Word Prompt: Journal**

**Wednesday, 15 February**

* * *

><p>I took my seat against the window and fastened my seatbelt. After digging out my copy of <em>The Wall Street Journal<em>, my iPod, and the sandwich I'd hastily purchased just before they called my flight, I sat back and let out a long breath. It had been a long week.

Things in Connecticut were looking up. We'd made good progress in the three days I was there, and I felt confident I could get the project wrapped up or at least passed on to someone else within five to six months. That, of course, I assumed there were no major glitches, but I'd worked with the team to come up with a solid communication plan, several risk mitigation strategies, and a full fledged demand that if help was needed they should ask. Just like with the Seattle and Princeton teams, if I couldn't figure it out, we'd do whatever it took to get the answers or resources needed.

I unwrapped my sandwich and didn't bother with the packets of mustard and mayonnaise whoever that were included. It was dry, but I was hungry; it filled the need.

After the plane was at cruising altitude and we'd been given the all-clear on electronics, I scrolled through my music and settled on David Gray. I needed something low key to bring me down from the stress, albeit good stress, of the workweek. Seattle was going to be a piece of cake as far as transitioning things to Steve. Bittersweet though it may be, I was looking forward to a couple days of relatively mindless work.

After unfolding the paper, I scanned the headlines and then the editorial section. There was plenty of commentary about the presidential primaries, analysis on how Mitt's latest slip up and the results from Maine Causcus would impact the candidates as they headed into Arizona and New Mexico. I'd decided long ago to withhold judgment until closer to June, when the New Jersey Primary would be held. It was sort of pointless to get all riled up until the real deal. Well, not totally pointless, but I didn't care enough to get out and pound the streets or canvas neighborhoods.

I folded up the paper and just sat, staring out at the night sky. It was pitch black. I could barely see a cloud in the sky, and my thoughts naturally drifted to Bella. After the craziness over her broken phone, we'd talked, it seemed, even more frequently than usual. I wasn't complaining. I couldn't get enough of her, and coming into the week knowing I was going to get to see her had somehow amplified the need.

We'd talked more about the impact of me not coming to Seattle for work, and while it completely sucked and put a damper on our initial plans, it had opened the door to lots of fun vacation talk. We'd already started brainstorming some places to go – Memphis for Graceland, music, and barbeque; Florida to escape the cold and dreary Northwest; and New York City for pretty much anything we wanted. The thought of exploring new places with her, sharing new memories, and just spending time with her was pretty much all I needed. All the rest was icing on the cake.

The song changed, and I smiled as the guitar turned into lyrics that echoed some of the sentiment I'd been thinking and feeling for weeks.

_What kind of existence?_

_To want you so much_

_And only feel the distance_

_Each time when we touch_

_Been a lot of water flowing_

_Babe we could just let it slide_

_Then we could fall in love again tonight_

While the lyrics didn't quite match our situation, I knew the physical distance between us was something we couldn't sustain for long. It had become abundantly clear over the last few days that we needed to be closer to each other. I had almost assumed I'd be moving to Seattle at some point, but with the assignment change, it seemed less likely. While I was in Wallingford, I'd made quick note of the nearby universities – UConn and Yale, of course, were both at the top of the list. I was certainly way ahead of myself, especially since it was doubtful I'd be placed there long term, not to mention, I had no idea if Bella would even consider moving out my way. I knew her situation was certainly a little more precarious with her being in a tenure track position already. I had no clue how transferring to other universities even worked. I was hoping I could feel her out a bit while I was visiting to get a better sense of what she was thinking.

No matter what, I knew we'd make the decision together.

"_Ladies and Gentleman, we have begun our final descent into the Seattle area. Please take a moment to gather any remaining service items. A flight attendant will be around shortly to collect them. Please move your seatback into the upright position and stow and lock all tray tables. At this time, please discontinue the use of all electronic devices," _a voice on the overhead speaker said.

I hastily packed my stuff away and handed my basically unread newspaper to the flight attendant as she passed. My stomach flip-flopped as we started to descend. It was my least favorite part of flying, and I just kept telling myself I'd be on the ground soon and driving to Bella's. We had agreed to meet at her place, since it would be late when I got it and had to get a rental car, away.

A grin spread across my face as I closed my eyes and breathed. I still couldn't believe she'd invited me to stay with her, in her bed no less; not that I was complaining. Just the thought of sleeping next to her was good enough for me.

I hoped to hell it didn't take long to get off the plane and grab my luggage. I wanted to be in the car and driving within thirty minutes. I couldn't wait to see her.

Several turbulence-riddled minutes later, we touched down. I blew out the breath I'd been holding, grateful to finally be on the ground and in the same time zone as my pretty girl. I powered on my phone, and it exploded with emails and texts I'd received inflight. I ignored all of them except for the one text from Bella.

**IS: Can't wait to see you, Handsome. I'll be waiting. ;)**

**EC: Just landed. See you soon, love.**

I didn't even notice until after I'd hit send that I'd called her "love." I doubted she'd have an issue with it, and in truth, that's how I thought of her. She was the woman I loved, even though we hadn't said those words to each other. I had seen her guard come down more and more in the last six weeks, but I was still cautious, not wanting to overwhelm her with my feelings. I'd had to remind myself on countless occasions that our relationship was only two months old and that it was too early to start making declarations. Still, I knew, for me at least, it was just a matter of time before I became too much to hold in.

**IS: Yay! I'll be the one with the smile on my face.**

I grinned. Could she get any cuter?

I willed the crowds to move faster as we deplaned. Knowing I still had a little bit of time before my luggage arrived at baggage claim, I made a quick pit stop and cleaned up a bit. I brushed my teeth and did the sniff test. It certainly wouldn't do to smell when I finally got wrap arms around her or kiss her glorious face.

Just before I grabbed my luggage, I typed out a quick response and hit send.

**EC: You won't be the only one.**

Briskly, I made my way through the nearly deserted terminal. As I rounded the corner and was about to exit security I stopped. There she was, standing there with a huge smile on her face, holding a silly cardboard sign that read, "SURPRISE"in big, bold letters.

My heart started pounding and it was like the forces of nature propelled me along.

She. Was. Stunning.

More beautiful than the computer screen could possibly do justice, and once I was through the security gate she was running towards me. She flew into my arms just as I dropped my bag, my arms wrapping around her as hers squeezed my neck. It was overwhelming and perfect, I finally felt whole.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, feeling like my face might split with happiness.

"I couldn't wait. I had to see you," she said breathlessly, her beaming face matching every feeling that was coursing through me.

I brushed my thumb across her cheek, relishing the way it had pinked and warmed, and leaned in, my lips touching hers, tentative and soft. She pushed forward against me, and an overwhelming need to taste her washed over me. I sucked her bottom lip between mine, nibbling gently before she opened her mouth to me. Our tongues touched and move easily, sliding and relearning. Her mouth was minty, just like mine, and I just let myself feel and savor the way her lips, so soft, and her mouth, so warm, felt like bliss against mine.

I squeezed my eyes closed as I gently pulled away from her, my forehead pressing against hers, and smiled.

"You're here," I whispered, feeling choked up, as I looked in the soft browns of her eyes.

"So are you," she said, her fingers playing with the hairs at the nape of my neck, before she tugged me forward and reclaimed my lips.

As we walked hand in hand through the airport, all smiles and bodies leaning into each other as we stole quick kisses, I was sure I had never felt more complete than I did in that moment.

* * *

><p>Thanks loves! xoxo<p> 


	47. Chapter 47: Melt

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Melt**

**Wednesday, 15 February**

* * *

><p>When we arrived at her house, we were both tired. The ride had been filled with easy conversation and tangled fingers. As I lugged my bag inside, Bella closed the door behind me and flipped on the lights.<p>

"Well, here we are," she said.

I looked around, taking in all the little details I hadn't paid attention to the last time I was there. A weird nervousness had settled over us, one that hadn't been there on the car ride but that I was familiar with from when she'd visited me.

I pushed my bag to the side and pulled her into my arms. "Hey," I said softly, tightening my arm around her waist. "Thank you for inviting me to stay here."

She smiled and bit her bottom lip. "I'm glad you said yes."

_As if I would have said anything different._

"Me, too."

I brushed a piece of her hair behind her ear, loving how soft it felt between my fingers. As I looked at her, I allowed the awe I felt overwhelm me. I was really there, with her, holding her in my arms.

My chest swelled with emotion as I pressed my lips to her forehead. "You are so beautiful."

"Thank you," she whispered back as she tilted her face so I could claim her lips.

It was soft, slow, and unforced, and I took my time relearning every inch of her mouth and tongue. She was perfection. I lost myself in the way she tasted and felt, like new yet not, and I wondered if every reunion would feel that way – like starting from scratch with some history under my belt.

We stood there for a long time, just holding each other, until I looked at the clock in the hall and saw it was almost one. I had been up since five in the morning East Coast time, almost twenty-four hours, and as much as I might have liked to get all sorts of frisky with her, I knew it wasn't going to happen.

"Should we go to bed?" I asked.

She nodded and led the way down the hall to her room. She stopped just inside and turned.

"Is this okay?"

I didn't even have to smile. I think the serene look on my face as I nodded must have been enough. "It's perfect."

And as we changed and climbed into bed, her wrapped in my arms and me entranced by the gentle rhythm of her breath, we fell asleep together. Finally.

~*WS*~

**Thursday 16, February**

"Bella, I don't care about your breath. I've seen you naked and at your worst. A little morning breath isn't going to keep me away from you, especially when I only get to wake up to you for a few days."

She groaned and buried her head in my chest. I could feel her laughing against my skin. "Do not even bring up that night. I can't believe I let you get me drunk."

I chuckled and pulled her head back, just enough so I could see her face. "Um, I'm pretty sure you were the one that tried to get _me_ drunk that night."

She huffed in indignation. "I did no such thing."

I arched my eyebrow at her. "Are you telling me you didn't try to get me drunk Everclear punch by saying it was just punch? Or that you didn't challenge me to choke down, was it, five Jell-O shots? Or even better that you didn't try to seduce when you crawled in my lap and bit my neck?"

Her entire face flushed as she pretended to scowl. "So sue me. I thought you were hot."

"Mmmhm. That's what I thought."

"You don't have to be a jerk about it."

Grinning wickedly I slid my hand down her side and rested it on her hip as I leaned in and nipped just below her ear. "I wanted you even then, Love," I teased. "And for the record, I would have slept with you without all that."

She slapped my chest, but I knew she was smiling. "Whatever," she mumbled before she climbed out of bed.

"Hey, where are you going?"

With her back to me, she stopped just before the closet door. She didn't respond, and fuck, she didn't need to as she slowly tugged her t-shirt over head. My jaw dropped. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the smooth skin that stretched across her back or the way her hair swung in a mini-arc as she lifted it up and fluffed it. She was wearing these tiny cotton panties and her ass cheeks were just barely peeking out from the edges.

_Shit._

I reached down and tried to adjust myself. She glanced at me over her shoulder, a coy grin on her lips as she tugged her panties down her legs. "Shower."

With that, she walked into the bathroom and closed the door. My jaw was still wide open, and I knew my eyes were probably just as wide. I scrambled off the bed after. There was no way in hell I was going to miss a second of that.

~*WS*~

Work was exactly like I expected. I had spoken to Steve earlier in the week to clue him into the change of plans and to see how he felt about heading up the team and the project out there. He was excited and nervous, but I had complete confidence in him. We both knew the impact the increased responsibility would have on his career, and I took the responsibility of transitioning everything over to him seriously. I wanted him to be as successful as possible, and if I could do something to help with that, then I most certainly would.

The team and I spent lunch talking and catching up. It was good to hear about their progress, most of which I'd heard before but some of which was new. We talked through the transition details Steve and I had spent the morning hashing through. They were all on board, not that I thought they would have an issue, but change could be a challenge.

I had just gotten back to the office when my phone buzzed. I pulled it out and smiled.

**IS: Hope your day is going well, Handsome.**

**EC: Just finished lunch with the team. **

**IS: I was thinking of inviting Angie and Jake over for dinner. Does that sound okay?**

I wasn't really thrilled with that idea. In my head, I had imagined heading back to her place after work to eat a low-key dinner and spend the evening doing whatever happened. I was still thinking about her little striptease and the very hot shower we'd taken that morning.

I walked into the conference room I'd commandeered and had to think of something else before I had a real situation on my hands. I wanted Bella to myself, but I also wanted to meet Jake and Angie. If this was the way she wanted to handle it, then who was I to aruge?

**EC: Sounds good. Do I need to pick up anything on my way back to your place?**

**IS: Nope. We're going to grill. It's nice out. Cool?**

**EC: Sounds perfect. **

**IS: What time will you be home?**

I stared at the text, and my heart thumped wildly. _Home._

**EC: Probably around 5:30. Will that work?**

**IS: Yep. See you then.**

I pocketed my phone and turned back to my computer. I attempted to read through my email, but I couldn't concentrate. She'd called it home, and the more I dwelled on it, the more I realized how much we needed to talk. After falling asleep and waking up in her arms, I knew I couldn't keep living away from her.

As usual, I was at war with myself, wanting to push and press to see where she stood without forcing her hand, but maybe it was time. We'd talked so much, but maybe I needed to show her, tell her how I really felt, what I wanted. It didn't mean my way or the highway, but if I didn't put myself out there, then I couldn't expect her to either.

Feeling a sense of resolve, I turned back to my computer and got to work.

~*WS*~

When I pulled into the driveway, two other cars were already there. My stomach flip-flopped. I had hoped to have a few minutes alone with Bella before Jake and Angie arrived, but that clearly wasn't going to happen.

I got out of the car, walked up to the porch, and with a deep breath, opened the door. I could hear happy chatter coming from the kitchen. I smiled at how comfortable and familiar it felt, even though it had been a long time since I'd seen Bella interact with people she knew well.

I set my bag down, hung my coat in the closet, and slowly made my way toward the kitchen. Bella was standing in front of the stove stirring something, and a girl with short black hair, thick red glasses, an earful of piercings, and what looked like a full sleeve of tattoos was chopping vegetables on the counter.

So, that was Angie, or at least I assumed it was. Bella hadn't really given me much to go on. She was certainly not what I expected, which was stupid because I really didn't have any to start with.

"I told Jake he had to behave," Angie said.

"Like that'll happen. You know how he is," Bella said, her eyes landing on mine as she glanced over her shoulder. "Hey, Handsome."

I grinned and made my way into the kitchen and over to her. I leaned in and kissed her chastely. "Hi, Sweet girl."

I heard a giggle, and Bella and I both turned around.

"Edward, this is Angie, my best friend. Angie, Edward."

I moved closer and extended my hand. She quickly wiped hers on the towel beside the cutting board and quickly took mine. "It's good to finally meet you," I said.

"You, too. Bella's been talking about you nonstop," she said, a playful grin pulling up one corner of her mouth.

"Ha ha!" Bella said, but I could see her blush.

"It's okay if you think I'm irresistible," I teased.

"Oh, you're really funny," she said, rolling her eyes, before turning back to the stove.

I sidled up next to her and wrapped my arms around her waist, brushing my lips against her ear. "I'm just messin' with you. You know that right?"

She nodded her head and turned her face just enough for me to see the smile on her face.

"Can I help with anything?"

"Well, you can taste this," she said, swiping her finger on the spoon she'd been using to stir something that smelled sweet.

"What is it?" I asked as she thrust her finger toward my mouth.

"Just taste it."

I smirked and grabbed her hand, holding the top of her fist, and sucked her finger into my mouth. I swirled my tongue all around, watching her face flush and her mouth open just slightly, before removing it from my mouth.

"Mmmm. Tastes like melted chocolate and something else."

Her eyes were sort of dazed and I put her finger back in my mouth, sucking and swirling and tasting. "And Bella. Melted chocolate and Bella."

Angie coughed. "Do you guys, uh, need a minute? Because I think I might."

I whirled around, having forgotten she was there, and knew my cheeks were probably just a red as Bella's.

"It's Guinness."

"What?" I asked, just as Angie did the same.

"Melted chocolate and Guinness," Bella said, having regained her composure. "I'm making cupcakes."

"Who said cupcakes?" A booming voice said behind me.

I jerked my head around and saw a very large man with spikey black hair in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. _Jake._

"Jake, this is Edward. Edward, Jake."

I turned and extended my hand. He looked at it and me, sizing me up I assumed, before he finally stuck out his own and grabbed mine. His grip was firm but not uncomfortable, and I was glad he didn't feel the need to get into some battle of wills. Not that I knew much about him or what he knew about me, but being Bella's friend I figured he must know something of our past.

"Good to meet you," I said.

"Same. Looks like you've made quite the impression on my girl, B."

_His girl? Um no. _

_Let it go, Edward._

"Shut it, Jake."

And so went our evening. Bella, Angie, and Jake laughed and joked with each other, filling me in on the details of their inside jokes and stories, so I wouldn't feel left out. Bella was close by my side the entire night – her fingers twisted with mine, her hand on my leg, or mine arm around her – and just like when she'd visited my friends, it just felt right.

"So, are we gonna get to see you guys again before _Handsome_ over here heads back East?" Jake asked as he bit into his cupcake.

I laughed as he closed his eyes and moaned.. He had been teasing me relentlessly and making all sorts of sexual innuendos toward me throughout the evening. With a mouth full of icing, he said, "Good God, woman. This cupcake is like…" He paused and took another bite.

"Orgasmic?" Angie supplied.

"Mmmm. Yessss," he hissed as he leaned over and nipped at her shoulder.

She swatted him away. "Wrong sex, here," she said and pointed him toward me.

He rolled his eyes and went back to eating but looked at Bella expectantly.

"Let's play it by ear. We haven't worked out our plans yet," she said, looking at me.

I nodded and shrugged. "I'm game for anything, Love. You know that."

"Awwwww," Jake said, crumpling his cupcake wrapper.

I chuckled, and Bella buried her face in the crook of my shoulder. "Shut it, Jake," she said, her voice muffled and then louder as she turned to glower at him.

He held his hands up in defense. "What? I can't acknowledge you guys are cute or that he's hot?"

"You're impossible. And quit embarrassing Edward," Angie said.

By the time they left, my sides ached from laughing so much. It was nothing like I'd imagined but so much better. It was clear how close they all were, and I felt like I'd been easily accepted into their crazy gang.

* * *

><p>So, their evening isn't over, but I had to cut it somewhere as this chapter was already WAY longer than I expected. I'll post the next chapter tomorrow! It's already started since I'm behind on prompts! xoxo<p> 


	48. Chapter 48: Iron

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

This chapter would not be in your box without the very kind and supportive help of mycrookedsmile. xoxo

**Word Prompt: Iron**

**Thursday, 16 February**

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><p><em>By the time they left, my sides ached from laughing so much. It was nothing like I'd imagined but so much better. It was clear how close they all were, and I felt like I'd been easily accepted into their crazy gang. <em>

I had already gathered all the dishes from the table and living room when Bella came into the kitchen.

"You don't have to do the dishes, Edward."

I frowned, drawing my eyebrows together, and looked at her. "I'm not going to leave you to do all the dishes, Bella. Besides, the faster we get this done, the faster we can get to bed. It's been a long day."

She smiled sheepishly and came up beside me. "True," she said and leaned against my arm before turning on the water.

Together, we did the dishes – I washed and she dried – and laughed about different things that had happened throughout the evening. She thought it was hysterical that Jake had hit on me.

"As if he could have any other reaction," I said, flexing my muscles then turning around to waggle my ass like I was some kind of runway model.

The sharp sting of a wet towel snapping against the back of my legs made me yelp. I whirled around to give Bella the stink eye, but the smirk twisting her lips and the challenging arch of her eyebrow gave me a better idea.

I looked down and then back up, my eyes narrowed, then took a step forward.

"You are so going to pay for that," I growled.

Inch by inch I crossed the kitchen floor, closing the distance between us. By the time she realized what I was doing, she was moving her head from side to side frantically, her eyes wide, as she looked for a way to escape. "Edward…"

"Not gonna happen, Love," I said as I advanced, reaching out to grab her. "You are going down."

My fingers brushed against the sleeve of her shirt just as she ducked and managed to get past me. I chased after her as she ran down the hall, giggling. She flew onto the bed, laughing and scooting all the way back to the headboard, pleading for mercy.

_Not a chance._

I dropped onto my knees, the mattress sinking beneath me, and quickly grabbed her ankles, pulling her closer to me.

She squealed and flailed and tried to get away, but I held on tight and began tickling her relentlessly. Her feet. Behind her knees. Her sides.

"Please," she begged breathlessly. "Please. You're going to… make me pee… my pants," she panted, her voice rising as she became more and more hysterical. Her thighs were pressed together, and I realized she was really serious. I pulled back, and she bolted up and into the bathroom, almost tripping on the ironing board in front of the closet, and slammed the door behind her.

I sat at the end of the bed, hoping she hadn't really peed her pants. She was in there for a while, and I started to feel nervous. I got up and knocked on the door.

"Bella? You okay?"

"Fine. I'll be out in a minute."

I furrowed my brow and decided to shut things down. I quickly locked the door, turned off the lights, and stopped in the kitchen to grab two bottles of water. I heard the sound of running water coming from the bathroom down the hall and slowly made my way back to Bella's room.

I peeked my head into the room and saw her standing in the bathroom, toothbrush in her mouth, in her pajamas. She looked at me and grinned, the white suds foaming in her mouth.

"I locked up and shut down out there," I said, hooking my thumb over my shoulder. She nodded, and I decided if she was getting ready for bed I probably should, too.

A few minutes later, I had changed, brushed my teeth, and joined her in bed. I rolled onto my side and propped my head up on my hand, my elbow pressed into the pillow, and looked at the beautiful woman beside me.

"Everything come out okay?" I asked, smirking.

"Shut up," she said, smacking me on the chest with the palm of her hand. I rolled onto my back and laughed, a belly-shaking, deep laugh.

"You are such a punk. And for your information, I seriously almost peed my pants. I barely made it in time."

"Well, at least I know you have good bladder control."

"Ugh."

Things eventually settled down, and I rolled over and pulled her close, placing a little trail of kisses against the sleeve of her shirt, much like she'd done earlier.

"I didn't get a chance to ask how your day was when I came in," I said, leaning back a little to look at her.

She shifted and turned to face me, her arm tucked beneath her head. Her hair was a mess of curls all splayed out on the brown sheets, and I smiled at how simple and perfect the moment was.

"It was good. My classes went well, and I met with one of my graduate students to discuss her thesis. It looks really promising."

"That's great. How many advisees do you have?"

"Well, I have a bunch of undergrads, but three grad students. I actually really love doing it. Even with the young ones. They are so excited and eager to figure it at all.

"I remember when I was a freshman and how scared and exhilarated and nervous and passionate I was. It's a lot of fun seeing them try to figure it all out. And with my thesis and dissertation students it feels more like a conversation among peers."

I listened to her talk about some of the ideas her students were working through and where she felt like she had helped or steered them clear of land mines. It was fascinating, and I realized it was time. I wanted to do this with her every night. I wanted to hear how her day went while lying in bed together, do the mundane little stuff like wash dishes and brush our teeth side by side. I wanted it all, and I wanted it with her.

She came to the end of her sentence and smiled proudly. Everything about her spoke of contentment and ease – the relaxed set of her face, the bright, happy eyes staring back at me, the smile that just wouldn't stop – and without consciously thinking about it, I said the words I had been holding back for weeks.

"I love you, Bella."

Her eyes widened just as her fingers covered her parted lips. I knew she was surprised. I hadn't meant to just throw it out there like a ticking time bomb.

She started to speak, but I held up my hand then dropped it lightly onto the bed.

"You don't have to say anything. I… I didn't even mean for it to come out quite like that, but the fact of the matter is, I do love you, Bella. The last few months have changed my life, changed me, and I can't tell you how many times, especially in the last few weeks, I've kicked myself for letting you go the first time. I never should have walked away, but I want you to know that I'm in this till the end.

"I want to be with you. I want to be near you. I want to wake up every morning with you, come home to you every night, and I want everything in between.

I paused, seeing the tears roll down her cheeks and the shaking in her fingers. I gently brushed my thumb beneath her left eye, then her right, before pressing on.

"I hate being away from you, Pretty girl. If I've realized anything, it's how good it felt to walk through the front door of your house tonight. It felt like home, like I was supposed to be here, to come home to you. But I have no idea how to close the distance between our lives, and I'm so frustrated about it. I had sort of worked through this plan in my mind to transfer to Seattle, take over the team here, but that's clearly not going to work since I'm officially off the project and onto something else now."

Her hand dropped onto the mattress, and I could see so many emotions in her watery brown eyes.

"You don't have to say anything. I just… I'm willing to do whatever it takes… and I will, Bella. I don't want this for us anymore" I said, trailing off, unsure how to finish. I looked down at the brown sheets, soft and warm like her eyes, and quietly asked, "Do you... Is this something you would want with me?"

I watched her for a minute as tears continued to roll down her cheeks. I wanted to comfort her, but I knew my confession had brought her to this point. I reached over , my heart in my throat, and took her hand in mine, my thumb rubbing lightly across the top. Slowly, she turned her hand over and slid her fingers between mine. I looked up and felt my breath catch as she nodded.

Unable to stay apart from her any longer, I scooted over, wrapping my arms around her, and pulled her close. She buried her head in my chest, and I just held her, stroking her hair and relishing the feel of her in my arms.

She shifted, and I pulled back.

"Thank you," she whispered.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips against her forehead, closing my eyes in relief.

"I have so many thoughts running through my head right now. I don't even know where to start," she said.

"Then wait. It's late; we're both tired, and we can talk more about this tomorrow after we've both gotten a good night's sleep."

She looked reluctant to let it go, but eventually nodded her head. I knew there was a lot to discuss and was grateful we still had another three days ahead of us.

I held her for a long time, both of us still but awake. As the darkness, pulled me under, I felt a sense of calm come over me. Things were in her hands, like they always had been, and as unsettling as it could have been I knew I had given her everything, every part of myself.

* * *

><p>First, thanks so much for all the reviews. FF has been a real bear lately, and I haven't been able to respond. I love love love them!<p>

Second, several of you asked about the cupcake recipe from the last chapter. I posted it on my blog: jessyptff dot blogspot dot com

Third, I hope you liked this chapter. We are about to get serious! But I'd like to ask for your patience as my grandmother is in her last days and I'll almost certainly be making a trip to OK either tomorrow or the day after. Hang with me... I won't let you down!

MWAH! xoxoxox


	49. Chapter 49: Crest

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

jadsmama and mycrookedsmile are lifesavers. xoxo

**Word Prompt: Crest**

**Friday, 17 February**

* * *

><p>The sun had barely started to rise by the time I got up and dressed. Bella, so peaceful and pretty, was still asleep, and I had no intention of waking her. I had dumped a lot on her the night before, and if I knew anything it was that sleep and time to think were essential for her. After kissing her forehead, I climbed in the car and drove to work.<p>

The drive, as expected, was bogged down with traffic, but I was sort of glad for it. I had a lot on my mind, wondering if I'd done the right thing and thinking through how, and the silence gave me time to think. There was no doubt I'd caught her off guard, and I was anxious to know what she was thinking. Despite her tears last night, I took comfort in the little nod she gave when I'd asked if what I'd said was something she wanted, too. In hindsight, I probably could have handled it differently, but once I'd started I couldn't stop, and in truth, it felt good to get it all out.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I had already decided I was taking a half-day. I wanted to spend some daylight hours alone with Bella, and given the fact it was unseasonably warm and dry, I wanted to do it outside.

Worked passed quickly as Steve and I went over the reports he would need to generate, the standard meetings he'd need to attend, and where he could find all the data and archived files for our part of the study. At one point, I brought Mike in, as well as the rest of the team, to confirm the details. As expected, everyone felt good about the change, and when I walked out of the office and into the sunshine, I felt on top of the world.

**EC: On my way home. You up for playing outside?**

I started the car and waited a second, and she didn't disappoint.

**IS: Sounds perfect. Hiking?**

**EC: You read my mind. Let's grab lunch and go somewhere.**

**IS: I'll come up with some options. See you soon!**

**EC: :) **

I put the car in drive and made my way across the city, grateful traffic was relatively light. When I was almost there, I realized Bella and I hadn't actually done anything for Valentine's Day. In truth, I wasn't quite sure what to do on such short notice, but then I saw a sign for a little coffee shop and decided to stop and see what kind of fun treats they had inside. After purchasing some large, freshly iced and sprinkled sugar cookies, I got in the car and made my way to her house.

~*WS*~

A couple hours later, we pulled into the parking lot at Cougar Mountain Regional Wildland Park, and I grinned as I looked over at her. She had suggested a couple of places over lunch, and we'd both agreed a shorter hike with some pretty scenery was exactly what we needed.

"I haven't been here in a long time," Bella said as I opened her door.

"Well, from the description you read, it sounds like it's going to be great. Shall we?" I asked after tugging the backpack onto my back. Being the planner she was, Bella had packed several bottles of water, some snacks, and a blanket. Unbeknownst to her, I'd slipped my own treats inside, as well.

She nodded, and together we set off on the trail. We wound our way through thick foliage, both silent as we took it all in. The path was wide and well maintained, and there were signs that unobtrusively pointed us in the right direction. We'd stop from time to time to get something to drink, a snack to much on, or point something out – a bird, a pretty flower, something unique or funky about a tree – but mostly we just walked hand in hand, sharing little bit of this or that, content to be with each other.

The sign at the entrance said the trail was about four miles, and as we neared the halfway point, I saw the bridge and creek we'd read about. I tugged Bella over, and we stood in the middle of the old wooden bridge, watching the rushing water below us. Being with Bella was as easy and breathing, and the more we were together, the more the thought of leaving her left me aching.

"It's really stunning," Bella said, pulling me from my thoughts.

I looked at her and smiled. "It really is."

She looked at me, my eyes fully locked on hers, and she blushed. "Stop it," she said sheepishly.

"What? I was talking about the view. Thinking highly of yourself again?"

She smacked my arm, her new favorite thing to do when she knew I was messing with her, and scowled. "Well, if you got, flaunt it," she said, striking some silly pose where she cocked her hip to one side, resting her hand on it, and put her other hand behind her head, her elbow forming a triangle.

I took a step toward her, forcing her to right herself, and wrapped my arms around her waist. I walked us backward until her back was pressed against the railing.

"You better be careful," she said. "This old bridge may not hold."

I bent down, my lips hovering just in front of hers, and grinned. "I'll take my chances," I said, low and rough, as I captured her mouth with mine. Our lips slid and tongues tasted, our movements completely unhurried and meant to savor. I could hear the whoosh of the water beneath us, but it was nothing compared to the rushing beat of my heart; I wondered if I would always feel like that whenever I touched her.

Eventually we parted and pressed on. Another mile or so passed, much like the previous two, and as we rounded a bend in the trail, I heard the loud crash of rushing water.

"Do you hear that?" I asked, stopping.

Bella stopped and listened. "Yeah. I bet that's the waterfall."

With a new sense of urgency and adventure, we quickly wound our way the last little bit and came face to face with a sight that was absolutely breathtaking. Water flowed down from some unknown source at the far edge of the opening. Bright green moss covered the fallen trees and rocks that made up the basin, creating lots of little mini waterfalls, some gentle and barely trickling and others rushing and harsh. All of it flowed into a pond a few feet below. The surface of the water rippled subtly, but it was as clear as freshly cleaned glass.

"This is gorgeous," Bella said in awe.

She was right. The nature was pristine, untouched, as if it had been hidden away and we were the first ones to have discovered it.

"It really is."

I tried to take it all in, not wanting to miss a single detail. I looked on the far side of the waterfall and saw a few stepping stones that led to a creek bank and a clearing. Intrigued I pulled off the backpack, took a few steps, and climbed down the embankment.

"Where are you going?"

I looked back over my shoulder. "There's something on the other side of the pond. I want to see what it is."

I quickly climbed the rest of the way down, careful on the muddy rocks. When I got to the waterline, I looked at the stepping-stones and saw they were clear of moss. I quickly crossed the pond and was on the other side in no time. I turned around and waved at Bella. She smiled nervously and waved back.

I followed the lightly worn path, and as I crested the hill, I sharply inhaled. A clearing, verdant and untouched, opened before me. A huge pyramid-like rock covered in moss, a little steam running nearby, and trees of every shape, size, and type filled the space. It, like the waterfall, was gorgeous, and I knew I had to get Bella up there to see it.

A few minutes later I had crossed the pond and was tugging her towards the water.

"Edward, what are you doing?" she asked, her arm stiffening a little as I pulled her with me.

"I told you, I have to show you something."

She eyed the stepping-stones and shook her head. "I think I'll just take your word for it."

"Come on… where's your sense of adventure? I can't do this justice, Bella. You have to see it with your own eyes."

"What if I fall in?" she asked, her voice low and trembling.

I turned and took a step toward the bank, extending my hand.

"Do you trust me?" I asked, my hand reaching for hers.

She paused, her eyes flicking between my face, my hand, and the little rocks sticking out of the water, until they landed back on mine. "I do."

Something about the set of her shoulders as she reached for my hand, the slow smile that spread across her face, and the deep breath she took before she spoke made me wonder if we were talking about more than me helping her across the pond.

"I'm glad," I said, smiling, relieved. "Come on. Follow me and just take your time. The rocks aren't slippery, but as you can see they aren't wide."

Slowly, she followed me across the rocks. When she made it to the other side, she grinned, her body slumping as she laughed. "That was fun," she said as if she were genuinely surprised.

I laughed. "See, never doubt, Love."

Her eyes sparkled as she took my hand, squeezing it, and again, I got the weird feeling I was missing something.

Together, we walked up the hill, and just when we reached the top, I told her to close her eyes. "Trust me, Sweet girl," I said, and she did as I asked.

At the top, I stood her right in front of me, wrapped my arms around her waist and on top of hers, and rested my chin on her shoulder. "Open your eyes."

Her reaction – the sharp intake of breath, the way her head slowly turned so she could take it all in, the quiet "wow" she mumbled – all told me it had been worth forcing her to come.

"Gorgeous, huh?"

"It's… wow. So unbelievable. It's like some kind of magic land. Now all we need are some fairies."

I chuckled softly and brushed a kiss against her cheek. "I'm glad you like it."

We stood there for a bit and eventually sat down after finding a big rock off to the side. Neither of us felt comfortable walking through it or disturbing the unspoiled landscape. With the backpack at my feet, I reached down to get the desserts I'd purchased, when she spoke.

"Thanks for making me come up here, Edward."

I sat up and looked at her, and that same feeling came over me. "I'm glad you let me."

She paused, her teeth pressing into her bottom lip. "I meant it. What I said earlier."

I furrowed my brow, trying to figure out what she meant.

"I trust you, Edward. And not just about the pond." Her voice trembled, but I could tell by the serious look on her face she was sure.

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry.

She pressed on. "I know we've talked about a lot of things since we got back together. You've apologized repeatedly, you've given me time to get to know you again, and helped me see what we can be together."

I listened, my mind completely abuzz trying to make sense of her words.

"But it wasn't until last night, when you told me you regretted walking away that I realized just how far we've come. I've thought a lot about that night ten years ago and wondered if things would have been different had we talked. Would we have lasted through the distance? Would we still be together? Where would our lives be now? But none of that actually matters anymore."

She paused, turning her head to look over toward the giant rock in the center of the field. "Last night when you told me that you had planned to move to Seattle, you really caught me off guard." She turned back to me.

"Up until that point, we had only talked about how to fill the distance, not how we were actually going to close it. I mean, I know in theory one of us is going to have to move, if not both of us, but it wasn't until you actually said it out loud, that how much you were willing to sacrifice."

I pulled my eyes away from hers and looked down at the worn knees of my jeans. I felt like I was living in some kind of dreamland where everything was fuzzy. I could hear her words, felt like they were good, but I wasn't quite sure I fully understood where she was going. It was very unsettling.

Her hand came into view, and she rested it on top of mine, our fingers sort of sliding together. Her skin was warm and soft, and made my heart leap with the possibility of everything.

"I want what you want, Edward. I hate being apart from you. Waking up next to you in the morning and going to bed together at night together just feels... right. Perfect. Like home. And I want that with you," she said, her voice a mere whisper at the end.

I turned my head, heat prickling and coursing through my body at the meaning of her words. Her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears, and when she blinked, two lonely trails ran down her cheeks. With the brush of my fingertips, a little shaky, I tenderly wiped them away. I leaned forward, laid my head on her shoulder, and wrapped my arms around her waist, drawing us closer together.

With my face buried in her shirt, then the soft skin of her neck, I let all the anxiety, the self-doubt, the longing release. It was me and her, and we both wanted it all. Together.

"I love you so much," I said, my voice muffled, but I knew she'd heard me because reached up and fisted the front of my shirt.

"Me, too, Edward. It sort of feels early to say it, but I do. I love you, and we'll figure this out. I know we will."

I pulled back. "Say it again."

She grinned. "I love you."

"That is so good to hear," I said, cupping her face in my hands and drawing her mouth to mine. The first brush of our lips was tender and slow We'd been there so many times, but everything was different. As my tongue touched hers, her hands found their way to my hair, her nails scratching lightly on my scalp, the back of my neck, and I wanted more. I deepened the kiss, my lips sliding against hers, hungry and needy. I nipped along the skin of her jaw, trailed kisses down her neck, all the while breathing her in, tasting and showing and loving every second of that moment.

Her hands were everywhere and not enough. In my hair. On my neck. Twisted in my shirt. Gripping the tops of my shoulders. It was like we couldn't get enough, like the floodgate of emotions was finally open, and we were free to give in to what we'd both been re-discovering and holding on to about each other. In some ways I felt like I was twenty-one and back in college, the passion undiminished through the years. But she was there, fully present, and so much more than she used to be, in all the best ways.

Our kisses slowed, taking on a calmer air. Her lips were pink and swollen when we pulled apart, and her eyes were dark and shining.

And she had never looked more beautiful to me. I ghosted my thumb across her bottom lip, already missing the feel of it against mine, and watched it part slightly.

I felt her breath, hot against my skin, and leaned in, ready to taste her again.

I looked into her eyes, saw the sparkle of mischief, and felt her grin as my mouth touched hers.

"Take me home, Edward."

* * *

><p>Thank you for your kind well wishes and prayers. They have removed all life prolonging measures, so I expect by late tonight, she will make her way to a much happier place. I'll be driving to OK tomorrow morning. Hopefully the roads will be clear of snow and ice, as it's coming down hard right now.<p>

I hope this chapter and the one to follow (and you KNOW what it is) is/was/will be worth the wait. Thanks for the reviews and continuing to love these two as much as I do. xoxo


	50. Chapter 50: Swallow

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. Thanks to jadsmama, mycrookedsmile, and einfachmich for their very critical eyes and equally constructive feedback. Love you girls.

**Word Prompt: Swallow**

**Friday, 17 February**

* * *

><p><em>"Take me home, Edward."<em>

~*WS*~

I stood in her bedroom, my eyes glued to the figure in the bathroom. Bella was standing in front of the mirror, her cheeks still flushed and beautiful from our afternoon outside, tugging her hair tie out. I watched as her hair fell down her back in a soft whoosh and felt the urge to move, to wrap my hands in it, to feel how soft and smooth it was between my fingers.

I swallowed thickly as I thought about the way she'd told me she loved me. That she forgave me for everything that had happened ten years ago still blew me in the past. The fact she wanted to move forward… with me… made me fill like I might burst with happiness. The mile long walk back to the car and thirty-minute drive home had been full of tender touches, longing looks, and stolen kisses. The heat of the moment in the woods wasn't lost, just intensified as we filled the time.

Of course, as often happens, once we'd pulled in the driveway, things had shifted. Bella had said she wanted to shower, feeling a bit grimy from all the hiking, and while I didn't care if she was sweaty or smelled liked she'd been outside, I knew it mattered to her. So, we agreed to shower and then figure out a plan for dinner. We'd see where the evening went from there.

But as I stood watching her, I wasn't sure I could wait. Everything inside me was telling me to go to her, to touch her, to make sure everything that had happened that afternoon, the night before, and in the past two months was real.

Tugging my shirt over my head, my belt buckle already undone, I slowly crossed the room, my bare feet slapping quietly against the wood floor. She had just stepped out of her jeans and was standing in a pair of purple panties. Her shirt was long, but as she leaned forward to look at something in the mirror, her ass cheeks peeked out, giving me a view that made me lightheaded and left my dick throbbing. All doubt flew from my mind, and everything came into focus.

I leaned against the door frame and saw her eyes flick over, a slow smile spreading across her face and her eyes lighting up.

"I thought you were going to shower, Handsome."

I licked my lips and sort of smirked. "I was going to, but something else caught my eye."

Her eyes widened as I took a step forward, pushing the door the rest of the way open. I saw her throat bob a bit as she swallowed, her lips parting in surprise. "Oh yeah?" she asked, her voice a little rough and throaty.

"Mhmmm," I murmured as I stepped behind her and ran my fingertips across the tops of her shoulder then down the length of her arms.

I didn't take my eyes off her as I leaned in and pressed my lips against the side of her neck, the soft strands of her hair tickling my cheek. She titled her head, her eyes fluttering closed as she gave me room to nip and tease. Up and down, I trailed wet kisses, little nibbles, and my tongue against her skin, relishing the slightly salty flavor on her skin. She was real. She was there. With me. And just the thought of touching her the way I'd wanted to, had thought about for weeks, had me aching.

She moaned as I gently sucked on the soft skin where her neck and shoulder joined, and I instinctively pushed into her. Her eyes flew open, and a blush and playful grin spread across her face.

She reached around to plant her hands on either side of my ass and pushed her body against me. I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to keep myself under control, eve as burst of light sparked behind my eyelids. As much as I wanted to savor the moment and take my time with her, I wasn't sure I could. And by the look and feel of things, I was pretty sure that wasn't what she wanted either.

I pressed back against her, my fingers trailing down her sides until I reached the hem of her shirt. I took a second to just feel – the smooth, untouched skin at her waist, the gentle sloping curves of her hips, the flat plane of her stomach – before she moved her arms, and I slipped her shirt over her head.

_Beautiful._

_God, everything about her was so fucking sexy. _

It wasn't like I hadn't seen her naked before, but it felt like everything had changed.

"I love you," I whispered as I skimmed my fingers across her stomach, up her sides to cup her breasts. She leaned back against me, her head falling against my shoulder as I ghosted my thumbs across her nipples.

She whimpered.

I did it again.

And again.

And again until I couldn't take the layer of fabric that was keeping me from really seeing her.

And not just her breasts. I wanted every part of her bare, especially hers. To look in them see all the love I felt reflected right back at me.

I made quick work of her bra, my lips on her skin and her hands over her head in my hair, turned her to face me, and claimed her lips, hungry and demanding. Our tongues danced, twisted, and curled. Teeth bumped, lips crushed, and it was like I couldn't get enough.

It was so much more than a simple kiss.

I ravished her mouth until we were both breathless and panting.

My dick was so fucking hard I could barely think straight. But it was nothing compared to the way my pretty girl's chest was moving up and down and flushed the most mouth watering shade of pink I had seen in a long time.

I ran my hands down her back, my hands reaching down to cup her ass, and lifted her onto the vanity. She squeaked in surprise, but I immediately covered her mouth with mine. She met me all the way, her hands tugging on the back of my neck and her legs wrapping around my waist.

I was right there. Against her. And fuck if I didn't grind myself against her.

She cried out and tightened her legs just as I felt the sharp sting of her nails digging into the skin of my shoulders.

I did it again, because it felt fucking amazing to see her lose herself, to want me just as much as I wanted her.

There were no words. Only whimpers and moans – from me, from her.

None were needed as we lost ourselves in the feel of skin, hot breath, and the blissful friction of our bodies against each other.

I hooked my fingers into the waistband of her panties and began to slide them down. She lifted one hip, then the other, and I pulled them down her legs. I watched them drop to the floor and then took my time looking at the woman before me.

She squirmed as I gripped her ankles and skimmed my hands up her calves, over her knees, and against the soft, soft skin of her thighs. She was so fucking gorgeous.

And I said so. In my head. Out loud. I wasn't even sure. I bent to kiss the bend of her knee, the side of her hip, the little spot where her ribs pressed against her skin, the curve of her elbow, the tip of her breast, before gently sucking her nipple into my mouth.

"Ahhh," she whimpered, her head falling back just as her hands found their way to my hair. The more I sucked and swirled, the harder she gripped and tugged.

She was so damn sweet, and fuck me… wet.

I slid my fingers against her soft folds, my finger gliding against the silk, and when she tried to press her knees closed, I held them open by stepping a little closer.

"Don't," I said, dipping one finger, then two inside.

Over and over I took, gave, and watched my pretty girl tremble then fall apart, tightening, clenching against my fingers.

I pressed against her again, but her hand covered mine, stilling my movements. I looked in her eyes, dark and blazing.

"I want you, Edward."

It was a mere whisper, but the desire and need behind it was clear. She wanted _me_. I dropped my eyes, completely overwhelmed by the magnitude of her words and what they meant to me, for us. I had no idea how I'd gotten so lucky, to have the love of the one person I'd hurt so badly in the past, but I would never tire of hearing it.

She reached up and cupped my face, forcing me to look at her again as she drew me closer and claimed me as hers. Her tongue slid against mine, tangling and tasting and loving. Her mouth never left mine as she dropped her hands and flicked the button on my jeans. My belt buckle clinked as my hands settled on her hips. The click click click of my zipper filled the room, joining in the cacophony of sloppy, rough kisses, heavy, panting breaths, and the low murmurs of desire.

I didn't wait for her to push them down. I tugged them down on my own, leaning forward so I could stay connected as I kicked my legs to get them off.

She pulled away and stared. It was my turn to bear the scrutiny, but I wasn't embarrassed. If anything, it was a complete turn on to see the way her eyes roamed up and down my body, flicking to my eyes and then down to my dick.

She grinned, that evil little smirk I loved so damn much, and then wrapped her hand around me.

I groaned.

She smirked and moved her hand slowly, up then down.

Up.

Down.

_Fuck._

Over the head.

Twisting.

_Shit._

Gripping.

Pumping.

_So go-_

I felt my balls tighten, the telltale tingling, and I pushed her hand away.

"Baby," I grunted, squeezing my eyes closed and sucking in breaths, willing my body to relax. There was no way in hell I was going to come right then. I wanted be inside her.

After a second, I opened my eyes and my jaw dropped. Bella was sitting there, her bottom lip between her teeth, her fingers gliding against her sex, and if I had any doubt she was a sex goddess, I didn't after that.

I smirked, my eyebrow lifting in challenge, and stepped forward, lining myself up.

I looked up at her, wanting to be sure one last time, and pushed my way inside her as her fingers dug into me.

_Hot. _

_Tight._

_Amazing._

Holy shit I didn't think I was going to last.

"Bel," I murmured as I gripped her hips and pulled her closer, buying myself inside her so damn deep I wasn't sure I would ever find my way out.

Her head dropped back as a guttural moan escaped her throat, the tips of her hair brushing the top of my hands.

I pulled back and thrust again. And again. And fucking again and again until we were both a hot, sweaty mess of groans, half murmured words, and barely there breaths.

"Touch yourself," I grunted, my ass flexing with each forward thrust. I was sweating, every muscle in my body clenched and tense, and barely hanging on. I needed her to come. "Please, love," I said, pulling back slower, trying to hold out as I slid back in.

"Oh God," she whimpered as her fingers began to frantically rub and touch. "So close."

Everything after that became a blur of uncontrolled intensity. I pounded my hips forward, my fingers digging into the skin on her hips and ass, and when I felt her body stiffen and heard her cry out, I let go as my orgasm rolled over me, building and growing like a snowball rolling down a hill, until my entire body went rigid and I cried out.

I wasn't sure how long I stood there, completely out of it, but Bella's fingers slid through the hair at the nape of my neck, tugging me forward until my forehead was pressed against her shoulder. I could feel the rise and fall of her breathing and just let myself come back down from the most amazing orgasm of my life.

I turned my head just slightly and kissed her neck, a little thank you for giving herself to me, before I finally pulled out of her, and looked up at her.

She looked exactly how I felt – completely exhausted and well fucked.

I grinned and kissed her, a chaste, tender kiss.

She giggled. "That was… wow."

"No kidding." I had never felt more relaxed in my life. "I thought you were going to shower," I teased.

She smacked my chest with the force of a feather and smirked. "I got distracted."

"Is that what you call it?"

"To say the least. It was a very welcome one."

That's good to hear. " I grinned. "Love you, Sweet girl."

"I love you. Now come on, let's shower. You got me all dirty," she said, scooting forward.

I snorted. "Riiiight. You were pretty stinky before I ever walked in here."

"Hey," she said indignantly, "I was not."

I helped her off the counter and pulled her against me. "No. You smelled good. And tasted good. And, I want to do that again…" I said, nipping at her still tender skin.

"Already?"

I laughed. "I wish. I need a little time, but I plan to spend the rest of the evening showing you exactly how amazing you are."

Her lips on mine was all the confirmation I needed.

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><p>I apologize for not replying to reviews. It's been a bit crazy. Tell me what you're think! I'm dying to know. xoxo<p> 


	51. Chapter 51: Bar

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Bar**

**Audio Visual Prompt: Amazing by One Eskimo www . youtube . com / watch?v=SJUodTNIf-E**

**Saturday, 18 February**

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><p><em>I laughed. "I wish. I need a little time, but I plan to spend the rest of the evening showing you exactly how amazing you are."<em>

_Her lips on mine was all the confirmation I needed._

~*WS*~

"Jake!" Bella shouted over the music and chatter in the bar as she frantically waved her arm in the air.

He tipped his head up in recognition and began winding his way through the crowd.

"Hey guys," he said, grinning, as he leaned over and kissed Bella on the cheek.

He grabbed a chair and sat down.

"Good to see you again," I said, extending my hand as he reached out to take it.

"Likewise." He looked at the two of us, his eyes lingering on Bella, and smiled. "So, what have you two been up to since Thursday?"

An easy smile spread across Bella's face as she looked over at me. "Just hanging out, mostly," she said as she slowly pulled her eyes from mine to look at Jake.

He quirked his eyebrow and looked between us and grinned. "I see. Is that the horizontal or vertical kind?"

Bella's cheeks flamed, and I laughed. Talk about getting right to the point.

"That's what I thought," he said as he waggled his eyebrows at me. I laughed again. He reminded me of James, always just a little bit crass and lacking any kind of verbal filter. Come to think of it, that pretty much described Emmett, too.

"For the love, Jake," Bella huffed as she picked up her menu and hid her face.

I reached under the table and squeezed her knee, wanting her to know she didn't have to be embarrassed. I hoped she wasn't because there was no way in hell I had any regrets about anything we'd done.

I'd made good on my promise to her in the bathroom. I'd spent the better part of last night and all morning loving her – slow, hard, and everything in between. The best part, though, aside from the obvious, was rediscovering some of the things I used to love about her – the feel of her fingers playing with my hair, the look of adoration in her drooping eyes, and the soft, sated smile that spread across her face when she was fully relaxed and happy.

Long after she'd fallen asleep, I laid there, her back to my front, wondering how I had been so oblivious to everything I'd had been before my eyes ten years ago? She was amazing, everything I needed and wanted, and to think I had let ten years pass us by felt like… such a waste.

The feel of her hand on top of mine brought me back to the present. I looked at her and smiled. "What?"

"I said I'm going to the lady's room. If the server comes by while I'm gone can you order me the amber ale?"

"Of course." I gave her knee another squeeze, removed my hand, and watched her walk away.

I turned back to see Jake looking at me curiously.

"What?" I asked.

"You really like her, don't you?"

My back stiffened, and I stared at him, unsure where he was going with his question. He'd caught me off guard, but there was no hiding the truth. He might have been her best friend, but I wanted to be her everything.

"I love her."

He sat back, his face completely impassive, and crossed his arms across his chest. I should have felt nervous, but I didn't. Had he and I had this conversation before I understood how Bella felt, I might have been more uncomfortable. As it was, I felt confident and completely sure that Bella and I were on the same page, even if we still hadn't figured the whole distance thing out.

I leaned forward, my elbows on the table, and looked him straight in the eye. "Look, Jake, let me save you the lecture. I know you're her best friend, but I learned my lesson the first time. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and while we haven't got it all figured out yet, we will. As a team."

The air around me felt thick and heavy as I waited for some kind of response. He cracked a smile, dropped his arms, and chuckled. "Dude, I was just making sure you really were off limits. But that's good to know."

He smirked.

I glared. "I am. Trust me."

And then we both started laughing as the server walked up. We ordered a round of beers, and as she walked away, he straightened up.

"In all seriousness, though, thanks. I could tell the other night how happy she was. It's good to see her like that."

My chest welled with pride and satisfaction. I had done that.

"You obviously don't need my permission or anything, and neither does she," he continued. "Just take care of her. I love her like a sister, and I don't want to see her get hurt."

I nodded, feeling the weight of seriousness settle on my chest. "Me neither."

A few minutes and a little small talk later, the server returned with our drinks. The beer was cold and felt good going down. He was right. I didn't need his permission, but I was glad to know I had his support.

Bella came back with a handful of quarters and looked at me. "You want to help me pick out some songs for the jukebox?"

"They actually still have those?" I asked, looking around until I spotted it against the far wall.

She smacked my shoulder. "Don't be ridiculous. Come on," she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. She turned to Jake, "Got any requests?"

"I'm Too Sexy?"

She rolled her eyes and snorted. "More like, 'You're so Vain.'"

~*WS*~

By the time Bella and I got back to her place, we were both a little drunk and frisky. Thank God we'd had the foresight to take a cab.

"Edward," Bella called from the bedroom.

I locked the door and walked into the living room to turn off the lamp we'd left on while we were gone.

"Yeah?"

I heard the sound of feed padding down the hall and glanced over my shoulder only to feel my mouth go dry.

Bella was standing in the entryway, a look of pure mischief written all over her face. I turned to face her, my body reacting instantly to the sight of her. She was still wearing the striped sweater from earlier, but her legs – God, I loved her legs – were bare except for a pair of thick striped socks pulled up to her knees. I took a minute, my eyes tracing up the length of her legs and lingering at the spot just beneath the hem of her shirt where I knew from more than enough experience her skin was baby soft and smooth. It was all I could do to stay still as she slowly crossed the room, her eyes locked with mine, and stopped in front of me. "Ready for bed?" she whispered, her voice a little rough and deep.

I forced myself to swallow, my throat tight, then pulled her to me, my entire body taut with anticipation. I slid my hands through her silky hair then down her back, until my hands were cupping her ass and I was lifting her up. My hands found their way to the backs of her thighs, and fuck yes, they were soft.

I felt her shiver beneath my hands, and I pulled her a little tighter against me, showing her exactly how ready I was. "The question is," I asked, bending so my lips brushed against the shell of her ear, "are you?"

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><p>I'm so glad you all loved their little... tryst in the bathroom last chapter... mwah!<p> 


	52. Chapter 52: Ticket

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Thanks to Just4Ale for the vacay idea! The second half of this chapter was written to the very sad song, "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles.

**Word Prompt: Ticket**

**Sunday, 19 February**

* * *

><p>"What about this one?"<p>

Bella looked away from her screen over at mine and scrunched up her nose.

"Seriously, Edward?"

I looked back at the screen. "What?"

She cocked her head and looked at me like I was two and needed a good scolding. "When I said I wanted to go to the beach, I didn't mean camping in the wilderness for a week."

"Hmmm," I said, knowing she was serious, but wanting to tease her. "Well, I guess I can see what else they have…"

I glanced out the corner of my eye and saw her looking at my screen again, her eyes narrowed pensively. "Did"-

"Love, I'm just teasing. I know you don't want to go camping. At least not on this trip. But seriously, at some point this or something like it could be fun, don't you think?"

"Would we have to sleep in a tent?"

I laughed and wrapped my arm around her waist, tugging her into my side. "Come on… think about it. Me, you, naked and alone with just a piece of canvas between us and all of God's creation..."

"I think I prefer you naked and under a roof with running water," she said, patting my cheek.

I rolled my eyes. It was worth a shot. I had never been big on camping, but the idea of spending time with her outside, hiking, beside a campfire, and then snuggled in a sleeping bag sounded pretty damn amazing.

"Just think about it," I said, catching her hand and kissing it.

She smiled and turned back to her computer. We spent the next hour or so planning our next vacation, having settled on a wine tour of Sonoma. Bella's spring break was just a month away, so it felt like the perfect time to go. I'd already sent Ben a note and told him I needed that week off. If I had to work longer hours leading up to that point to make sure things were in place before I left, I would.

Side by side, we purchased our plane tickets, booked the bed and breakfast we'd both fallen in love with, and even began looking at different wineries we wanted to visit. It was sort of perfect, actually, and as much as I hated that we were going to have to say goodbye later, I felt better knowing we had a plan.

We'd also spent a fair amount of the morning talking about long term plans. We talked about the possibility of her moving out my way or somewhere in between, how that would impact her career, as well as the real potential for something more to happen in Connecticut.

"Would you really consider moving East?" I asked, somewhat surprised. Like I'd told her the other night, I had fully intended to move to Seattle, to simplify things for her, but with the handoff to Steve, I wasn't sure it was really an option any longer. I intended to talk to Ben, fill him in on my situation, and see what he recommended.

"Honestly, before I met you, I hadn't really given it much thought. After I got the position at UW, I had planned to settle in for the long haul. We English professors are sort of like that. We get comfortable and hunker down. But I've given it some thought, even looked into potential openings along the coast and in some of the other cities where your company has offices."

"Really?" I asked, my jaw dropping. I had no idea she'd gone that far, and it made me feel sort of warm and ridiculously happy.

"Of course. I mean, obviously I didn't say anything before about it because I had no idea where things were going, but I'm pretty sure we crossed that bridge this weekend." She paused and looked at me. "Right?"

I saw the brief flicker of uncertainty in her eyes and immediately grabbed her hands. "Bella, we definitely crossed that bridge. I love you, and at some point when we're both ready, I want to spend my life with you. Don't start doubting me, Pretty girl," I pleaded softly.

I saw the tension leave her shoulders as the slumped just slightly and a slow, reassured smile spread across her face. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against mine, soft and chaste at first then more determined and rough. I met her, head on, sucking her lips between mine, tasting her tongue, and wanting more than I knew we had time for.

"I won't. I'm not," she said as she climbed into my lap and burrowed against me.

We sat there, completely wrapped up in each other, both already dreading our goodbye, as the afternoon slowly passed us by.

~*WS*~

We grabbed dinner at a little bistro not far from Bella's house, both anxious to get out of the house. The mood was somber and reserved, but it didn't stop us from having a good time. Bella talked a little more about the conference she was planning to attend in Chicago at the beginning of April. She was excited about the paper she was going to present, and I couldn't have been prouder. Her enthusiasm was infectious, and it made me rethink the approach I'd taken with the Project From Hell.

"So, who will you be presenting to?" I asked, after swallowing a bite of my sandwich.

"Other professors, lecturers, and people interested in comparative lit. I'm hoping to use it as an opportunity to promote the book. If all goes according to plan, it should be finished and ready for publication by late fall. This will be a little teaser, something to whet people's appetites. Or at least I hope it will be."

"Are you nervous?"

She'd just taken a bite, so I waited for her to finish. "It's hard to say. I know people will be respectful even if they disagree with my conclusions. But yeah, I guess so. It would be weird if I wasn't."

I reached over and covered her hand with mine. "You're amazing, you know that?"

She blushed and lowered her eyes.

"Look at me."

She did, and I pressed on. "I mean it. Listening to you talk, hearing your passion for your work is cool. I can't wait until I get to be a part of it every day."

She squeezed my hand and smiled, her cheeks still pink and her eyes twinkling. "Thanks. But you know you're a part of it every day already."

I started to explain what I'd meant, but she tightened her grip. "I know what you meant. But even though you aren't here, you're still on my mind. You're still the first person I think about talking to when cool things happen, even if I can only do it through texts and phone calls."

Her words were like a dollop of whip cream and a cherry on the ice cream sundae that had become my life.

"It's the same for me, you know?"

She nodded. "I do. It's not going to be like this forever, Edward. We'll get it figured out. In the meantime, we get to plan lots of fun trips. I'm already excited about Sonoma."

"A month. We can do a month, right?"

"We can."

We finished up and drove back to her place. I still had a few things to pack. Bella sat at the foot of the bed and watched as I shoved things in my bag. We were both quiet as I set my things by the bedroom door. I turned around, and an overwhelming sense of sadness washed over me.

Bella was sitting, her knees drawn up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them and her cheek resting on top. Her eyes were shimmering with tears, and when one rolled down her cheek, I climbed onto the bed and pulled her into my arms. I laid us down, front to front, and wiped the hot tears from her face. My throat felt tight, and I had to squeeze my eyes closed to fight the pricking behind them.

"Talk to me, Love," I whispered against her temple.

Her voice was watery and rough. "I'm not ready for you to go."

"I don't want to either."

"It just sucks. It's like we finally just figured things out, and the distance is conspiring against us before we can even begin."

Her cheeks were pink, and her tears were hot, as more and more escaped.

One by one, I wiped them away, kissing her cheek each time. She had encouraged me earlier, and it was my turn now. I needed to be the strong one, to protect her heart. "We began a while ago, Bella. At least in my mind. And yeah the distance sucks, but we already know we can do it. We can make it through this one and the others that follow. I know we can, and we'll be stronger for it when we finally don't have to anymore."

Her lip was trembling, but she nodded. I knew she knew I was right. We would get through the gaps.

But that didn't stop me from wanting the heaviness that was smothering us to go away. I covered her mouth with mine, taking my time committing the taste and feel of her to memory. With her face between my hands, I shifted on top of her, my eyes never leaving hers as I kissed her some more. Bit by bit, we spent the last of our time together, naked and vulnerable, giving and taking what we needed to fortify our hearts against the distance I prayed wouldn't tear us apart.

By the time I left her house, things felt better, lighter, but I knew one thing for sure. I couldn't keep saying goodbye to her much longer, and neither could she.


	53. Chapter 53: Prepare

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Prepare**

**Friday, 16 March**

* * *

><p>I stared at the giant dry-erase calendar on my office wall, at the big red box I'd drawn around the seventeenth, and felt nothing but frustration. I had been counting the days until I got to see Bella since the minute I walked out her door in Seattle almost a month ago. And up until Wednesday, things had been great. We'd talked, texted, and Skyped just as we'd planned, and even managed to get a little dirty as we played show and tell through our video cameras. It wasn't perfect, but it was all we had, and we both knew that. We were both excited about and looking forward to our trip to Sonoma. We'd talked about things we both wanted to do. So, for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on between us.<p>

I glanced at my phone and frowned. It wasn't even six in the morning in Seattle, and I was already itching to call her. Things had not ended on a positive note last night, and I hated the unresolved feeling sitting on my chest.

To be honest I wasn't even sure what had caused the fight, if you could even call it that. She'd made some comment about her job. I'd make some wise-crack, trying to lift her spirits, which resulted in her telling me I wasn't taking her frustrations seriously. Surprised, I'd told her I was only trying to lighten the mood, to make her laugh; it hadn't worked. The more I'd tried to explain, the more irritated she'd gotten until she eventually hung up on me. I had clearly misread her tone, but her response seemed so over the top. I just didn't get it.

After she'd hung up, I'd tried calling her three different times, and they'd all gone straight to voicemail. The two texts I'd sent apologizing went unanswered. After waiting up until close to one in the morning for her to respond, I'd gone to bed, slept like shit, and woke up with a pounding headache. The same one I was still battling.

Another few minutes passed before I decided to just let things lie. She clearly needed some space, and if she hadn't called or messaged or something by lunch, I would try her again.

As the morning slipped by, I tried to think about something else, but I couldn't concentrate. My mood was shit, and after snapping at a couple different people, I decided it was best to lock myself in my office and try to get some work done.

By lunch, it was clear she wasn't going to call, and even though I still didn't quite understand what was going on or why things had ended so badly, I bit the bullet and dialed her number.

_Voicemail._

I tried again.

_Straight to voicemail._

After taking a deep breath, I shot off a quick text asking her to call when she got a minute and that I loved her. I didn't want there to be any doubt on that point. We may have been having our first fight, but it didn't change how I felt about her.

I looked at the picture of us we'd taken in Seattle. She was smiling, her head against my chest, and my arms were wrapped around her. We both looked so happy, and I couldn't help but smile at the memory of that day. After hiking back to our car, we'd ask an older gentleman to take it after we'd both realized we didn't have any pictures of us together. My heart flip-flopped at the memory – that was the day she'd told me she loved me, that she wanted to make it all work, that we'd made love… finally. Basically one of the happiest days of my life.

So as I glanced over to the calendar again, the big red box that should have left me feeling ecstatic did nothing except leave me apprehensive and unsure. We were supposed to fly in to San Francisco and then get a rental car and go north. I had no doubt we would, but would things still feel so crappy and unsettled? I sure as hell hoped not.

~*WS*~

By eight that night, I still hadn't heard from her, and I was getting worried. I'd already packed everything I could, and with nothing left to do but wait, I felt even more anxious than I had earlier in the day. Surely she couldn't still be upset with me, I thought as I dialed her number.

The phone rang, an improvement over going straight to voicemail, and after a few rings, she finally answered the phone.

"Hey." Her tone was flat, and even though I knew she was upset I wasn't prepared for it.

"Hey," I said cautiously. There was an awful tension between us, and I hated it.

I waited for her to say something, anything, and when I realized she wasn't going to, I started rambling.

"Please talk to me, Love. Don't shut me out."

"I'm not shutting you out," she snapped and then quickly drew in a sharp breath.

_Then what the hell do you call it? _

But before I actually said that, I thought better of it. Getting upset would only exacerbate the situation, and we clearly didn't need that.

"Okay," I said, drawing it out in hopes of her actually saying something. She didn't.

I thought back over the last two days' worth of phone calls and decided to try a different tact.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I honestly don't know what I did to upset you, but I'm genuinely sorry."

I heard sniffles on the other end of the line, and that crummy feeling you get when you know you've screwed up but can't quite explain why settled in the pit of my stomach.

"You don't have to apologize. I'm just being… stupid."

"Please don't cry, Sweet girl. I hate that you're crying." I honestly did. I never knew what to do with her tears, and knowing that I was all the way across the country and couldn't do a thing about them made me feel like shit.

"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have hung up on you last night. I was just so upset and frustrated, and I…"

"Why?" I prodded.

"It's stupid."

"Just tell me, please."

And so she did. She told me how she'd had a terrible day on Wednesday, something I already knew, but then she added onto it. After dealing with the situation at work, apparently she'd started her period (which totally sucked since our trip was coming up, but it wasn't something we couldn't deal with or work around), but to her it was a huge deal. Then when I'd started teasing her about something completely unrelated (that she couldn't even remember, anymore), her feelings had gotten hurt. Then on Thursday, she started dwelling on the fact that our trip wasn't going to go as planned and how she was worried I'd be upset about it. So, by the time we started talking late last night, she had completely worked herself up into a frenzy, which I'd noticed but had tried to laugh off as nerves, which only served to upset her more….

When she finished, she was crying softly, and I was exhausted and emotionally confused. Vic had always been sort of cool and steady and rarely got worked up about things. Since Bella and I had started dating, we hadn't fought, and I was definitely not used to the ups and downs. Everything of significance, especially the tenser moments, had always been dealt with face-to-face. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that something like this – a misunderstanding that had gone completely down hill – had happened over the phone over something completely stupid, but it didn't change the fact that it sucked.

"Bella, first of all, I love you. You know that right?"

"Yeah," she said, her voice quiet and teary.

"Good. Second, I'm sorry I misread the situation over the last two days. I didn't mean to upset you, Love. Not even close. So, I'm sorry about that.

"And third, I don't give a shit if you're on your period. All I care about is seeing you and spending time with you. The fact that you're on it means nothing to me and isn't going to ruin our trip. Okay?"

I heard her sniffle again. "Really?"

"Sweet girl, of course it doesn't matter. Do you really think I'm that shallow? That I honestly care if you're bleeding a little? I don't. Not even a little."

She hiccupped, and in a still watery voice, said, "Okay."

We sat in silence for a second, but something was nagging at me; I needed to get it off my chest.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I hate to even say this because I don't want you to get upset or think I'm mad at you. I'm not. Hear me when I say that. But it really sucks that you didn't just talk to me. I know you were upset, but shit like this is going to happen. Normally, it probably wouldn't be a big deal, but with the distance and not being able to see each other, things get amplified and blown out of proportion." I paused, still thinking but quickly pressed on.

"We have to talk to each other, Sweet girl. We can't shut each other out. If we need time to process or deal or something, then we should just say it. It really sucked not hearing from you all damn day. I knew you were upset, but you didn't give me a chance to make it right. And that…"

… _left me feeling like complete crap._

…_pissed me off._

…_fucking hurt._

"sucked."

She'd started crying again, which hadn't been my intention. I should have just left it alone until we were face-to-face, so I could have pulled her in my arms and looked into her eyes.

"Please don't cry. I'm not upset or mad. Okay? I just needed to say that."

I could hear her trying to stifle her sniffles. "I've missed you, Baby," I said softly, trying to use the only thing I had – my voice – to convey how I felt.

"Me too, Handsome. So much." She drew in a ragged breath.

"You're right," she said. "I know you are. It was like once I got myself worked into a tizzy I couldn't get out, and then I started thinking about how our trip wasn't going to be what I thought it was, and I started dwelling and taking everything to seriously… I'm sorry, Edward."

The brokenness in her voice told me just how sorry she was. I wished I could see her face.

"Thank you, Love. But there's nothing to forgive. Let's just put this behind us and move forward, okay?"

We talked a little more, the lightness that was normally between us returning with a newfound fragility. I hoped seeing each other would firm things up, put us back to rights, so to speak. As we said good night, both reluctant to hang up but eager for the night to pass quickly, I reminded her again of how excited I was to see her, that I couldn't wait to spend the week with her, that I loved her more than anything.

"And Bella, just for the record, you could be covered in zits, be five-hundred pounds, and have a mustache, and I would still want you. It's _you_ that I love. Got it?"

She giggled. "Got it."

"Night, Pretty girl."

"Night, Handsome. See you tomorrow."

As I plugged my phone in to charge, I finally felt like I could breathe.

* * *

><p>Thanks for all the love, pretties. I think I got through all the review replies. Thanks to prettykittyartist for the lovely mention in her story, Snapdragon. If you aren't reading it, check it out and leave her some love.<p>

Voting for the Age of Edward contest is open and runs through the 22nd (Wed). I've got an entry in there (The Minstrel and the Maiden Swan, Young Adult Category), and there are lots of other great ones. If you haven't already, go check them out and vote for your faves! I'm almost through all of them and have found some really lovely gems. Seriously, go check them out! ageofedward dot com.


	54. Chapter 54:Browse

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

If you haven't listened to "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz (his newest one) you so should. This has become the theme song for this story.

Thanks to Just4Ale for the restaurant and hotel suggestion!

**Word Prompt: Browse**

**Wednesday, 21 March**

* * *

><p>I walked into the store, my fingers trailing across the glass counters as I eyed the contents of each case. I wasn't looking for anything specific. I needed to kill some time. Bella still had another hour to go at the spa, and I didn't feel like hanging out at a winery or in our hotel room by myself.<p>

"Good Afternoon." I looked up to see an older women walking toward me, a warm smile on her face.

I nodded. "Hello."

"Can I help you find something?"

I shook my head. "I'm just looking, but thanks."

"If something catches your eye, just let me know. I'd be happy to open one of the cases for you to take a closer look."

I thanked her again and continued browsing. The store was neatly organized, with a long L-shaped glass cabinet filled with sparkling gemstones and other pieces of jewelry in the middle of the room, tastefully decorated displays along the outer walls, and tall, black carousels with less expensive items sprinkled throughout the rest of the space. I walked from section to section, but nothing really stood out. I was just about to leave when a case of small, Sterling silver pendants caught my eye.

I walked over and leaned forward, examining each piece until I found one that seemed perfect for us. The pendant was circular in shape, although imperfect. It looked like someone had taken a piece of play-dough, haphazardly tried to make a circle, and then dipped it in silver. The center of the pendant had two hearts, a ribbon above them, and the word FOREVER stamped at the bottom.

I'd never seen anything like it before, and I was just about to call for the women when she appeared. She didn't bother asking if I wanted to take a closer look; it was pretty clear I was interested. She pulled it out of the case and set it on a piece of black velvet.

Gently, I picked it up. It was heavy on my fingers and had the feel of a well worn rock, smooth on the back and slightly bumpy around the edges. I examined it more closely and noticed how it looked almost like a stamp had been pressed into it.

"That was designed by one of our local artists," she said as she pulled out a small card with more information. "Each necklace is unique, shaped a little different from the next, and then cast with an authentic nineteenth century wax seal."

That explained the old time feel, I thought as I brushed my thumb across the top of it and smiled at the simplicity of the design. I had a feeling Bella would like something like this – simple and unique – and decided to get it for her. Aside from the snow globe for Christmas, I hadn't gotten her any other gifts, and the idea of her having a little something to remember our week together seemed like a great idea.

"I'll take it," I said, handing it back to her.

"Perfect." She polished it, laid it reverently in a small black box, inserted a little card with more information about the piece, and then tied it with a ribbon.

After paying and thanking her, I quickly made my way back to our hotel. Just the idea of surprising Bella with the necklace had me scheming and making calls. Things had been smooth as glass between us since we'd arrived. After our late night talk on Friday and our subsequent reunion in the San Francisco airport, where I'd kissed the shit out of her and hugged her for a long, long time, we'd spent the last four days wrapped in a cocoon of wine, good food, and sex.

Every day that we'd been in Sonoma had involved a trip to three or four wineries, a fun picnic or luncheon at some small little place we happened to stumble upon, and then an afternoon spent back at our hotel, napping and playing. At first Bella had been a little hesitant about thing because of her period, and I hadn't pushed. I had no desire to make her uncomfortable, and we'd had fun doing all sorts of other stuff. And by fun, I mean snuggling, touching, and getting ourselves worked up to the point of breaking. Bella, always generous, eagerly took care of me, and in turn, I made sure she wasn't left wanting… who knew making out like teenagers on the couch could be so fun.

Of course, by Tuesday night, when she gave me the all-clear, I took full advantage, lavishing her with all sorts of attention, touching her where I'd been dying to, making her come every way I could before sinking deep inside her. Making love to her was nothing short of amazing, and I had never been so grateful for the four remaining days we still had together.

I walked into our room to find Bella walking out of the bathroom, hair all twisted up in a towel, in one of the white hotel robes. She grinned when she saw me, and I immediately noticed how relaxed she looked.

"Hey, Pretty girl," I said, pulling her against me and kissing her hungrily.

She met my kisses with equal ferver. "Hey, Handsome," she said breathlessly as she pulled away. "Where have you been?"

"Oh, just out and about," I said, kissing her cheek and walking toward the bar in the corner of the room.

I didn't bother looking at her as I poured us each a glass of wine. I knew my response wasn't going to appease her, and I was right.

"What does that mean?" she asked.

I turned to find her standing right behind me, and I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped. "Noneya."

"Noneya? What does that mean?"

"It means it's none of your business, silly. I can't give away all my secrets."

She snorted. "Noneya. That's just great, Edward."

"You love me, anyway," I teased and kissed her nose.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"Oh don't get moody. Admit it. I'm amazing and you love me."

"You can't make me."

I arched my eyebrow as I set my wine glass on the table next to the small couch on which I'd just flopped down. I patted the cushion next to me. "Fine."

She glowered at me. I knew she was just messing with me, and when she finally grinned, begrudgingly, and sat down next to me, I just laughed. "Shut it," she grumbled.

I pulled her close, loving how warm she felt and how good she smelled after her bath. We spent the afternoon talking and eventually, after I built a fire, napped all wrapped up together on the couch.

~*WS*~

"Where are you taking me?" Bella asked as we walked down the street.

The front desk has texted me late in the afternoon to confirm all the details for the night had been arranged. I still couldn't believe how accommodating and helpful they'd been on such short notice.

"You'll see when we get there. It's a surprise." I looked down and made sure she knew it wasn't anything weird.

She squeezed my hand and smiled. I was once again grateful she was so easygoing and loved surprises.

After another block, I stopped in front of the restaurant and pulled open the door. She entered, her eyes taking everything in as she looked around.

"Welcome to Cyrus."

Bella looked at me, her eyes wide with surprise, and I grinned. "Reservation for Edward Cullen."

The host nodded, checked the book, and immediately escorted us to our table. I was surprised we were able to get in, especially since earlier in the week, the owner of the hotel had given us a list of restaurants and urged us to get reservations as early as possible. We had opted out, deciding to keep most of our meals low key, but after finding the necklace and spending most the day away from her, I wanted to do something unexpected, something special with her.

"I can't believe you were able to get in here. Mary said it would be difficult to get a reservation," Bella said, reaching for my hand, after we'd been seated.

"Well, Mary was very helpful in orchestrating this whole thing. She called, and they had an opening."

She smiled, and I was floored by how beautiful she was. I wasn't sure I'd ever get used to seeing her look at me with such adoration.

"I'm glad. This is going to be great."

We proceeded to enjoy one of the best meals I'd ever eaten. It was eight courses, each paired perfectly with its own glass of wine. The entire experience was magical and romantic, slow and relaxed, and exactly what I wanted it to be. The air between us was so warm, bordering on sexually charged as I watched her savor every single bite, her lips wrapping around her fork, and enjoy every sip of wine.

By the time we got to cheese course, Bella's cheeks were flushed, her eyes were warm, like melted chocolate, and little pieces of her hair had pulled loose from the clip she'd put in just before we left. She was absolutely stunning, and the longer I stared at her, the more I wanted to get out there and take her back to our room. If the way her ankle was rubbing against mine was an indication of her feelings, I was pretty sure we were on the same page.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?" I asked, brushing my thumb across her knuckles in a slow back and forth pattern.

"I do believe you did, Dr. Cullen."

I loved it when she called me that. It was ridiculous that my ego ratcheted up a little each time she did.

"Well, let me tell you one more time, Dr. Swan. You take my breath away. Thank you for having dinner with me tonight."

As if her cheeks weren't pink and warm already from the wine, they flushed a little darker. Her eyes dipped down as a slow, sexy smile pulled at the corners of her lips. When her eyes met mine again, I could see the fire and intensity behind them that I knew from experience meant she was ready to wrap things up and get back home.

Something stirred inside me as she lazily pursed her lips. "The pleasure was all mine. Perhaps I could repay the kindness later tonight."

I nodded as I lifted my wine glass to my lips. "I do believe I would be most amenable to that suggestion," I said and tilted the remaining bit of my wine into my mouth.

We continued the back and forth banter through the remainder of dinner, and just before we sampled one last glass of wine with dessert, I pulled my hand from hers and dug inside the pocket of my jacket for the necklace I'd purchased earlier in the day.

I placed the box in the center of her palm and wrapped her fingers around it.

"What is this?" she asked, a note of surprise elevating her voice just slightly.

"Something to say I love you and for you to remember our week here."

She grinned, with almost childlike enthusiasm, and looked at me, her eyes asking permission to proceed.

I nodded and couldn't help but watch with nervous excitement as she untied the ribbon and lifted the lid. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open as she looked up at me and then down at the necklace. She ran her fingers across the imprint and looked up at me again.

"Edward, this is… wow. This is really beautiful." Her voice was breathy and excited, and I loved that I'd chosen well.

"There's a card underneath that explains a little bit about the necklace and how it was made."

She lifted the necklace out of the box and looked at it more closely before setting it down, unclasping the one she was already wearing, and then fastening the new one around her neck. It settled a little above her cleavage, and I had to swallow at the thought of what I already knew was there and how she would look wearing my necklace and nothing else.

I'd definitely find that out later.

"How does it look?"

"Perfect."

She lifted it off her chest and looked at it and then set it back down. "I love it," she whispered and looked at me. "Thank you."

"You are more than welcome, Love."

After paying, I led us back to the car, her hand in mine, and couldn't wait to get back to the hotel, where I had one more surprise up my sleeve.

* * *

><p>Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews and support as I've been away dealing with RL stuff. I'm still in Oklahoma and managed to sneak a few minutes to myself. I greatly appreciate all your kind words. More tomorrow night, hopefully. xoxo<p>

There are pictures of the hotel and Bella's necklace on my blog: jessyptff dot blogspot dot com


	55. Chapter 55: Intense

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Intense**

**Wednesday, 21 March**

* * *

><p><em>After paying, I led us back to the car, her hand in mine, and couldn't wait to get back to the hotel, where I had one more surprise up my sleeve.<em>

When I pulled our car into the hotel parking lot and shut it off, I turned to see Bella looking at me. She was looking at me, her head resting against the back of the seat and a lazy smile was on her face.

"I love you," she said softly as her hand brushed against the top of my thigh.

My heart swelled. Hearing her say those three words… there was just nothing like it.

"I love you, too, Pretty girl."

We sat there, with matching smiles, just looking and loving each other, until I couldn't take it any more.

After opening her door, helping her out, and walking her to our room, I stopped. I turned to face her, my hand cupping her cheek. "I meant what I said before. Thank you for sharing this week with me and just… for everything."

She sucked in a breath, as if my confession had caught her off guard. Maybe it had. But it didn't matter because then her mouth was on mine, hot, eager, demanding, and mine was moving, claiming, tasting just as intensely as hers.

We stumbled into the room after I managed to get the door open. The sound of tinkling piano notes caught Bella's attention, and we broke apart. A fire was roaring in the fireplace, lit white candles had been placed in little glass dishes all over the room, and the bed was covered in rose petals. It was exactly like I'd hoped – romantic and warm - and Mary would be getting a very nice tip from me.

Bella's jaw was hanging open as she looked around. "Wha- When did you do this?"

I smiled and pulled her to me. "I told you I had surprises up my sleeve. Now… where were we?"

She turned toward me and wrapped her arms around my neck. "You're amazing," she whispered as her mouth found mine again.

My lips slid against hers as I slowly pulled her body against mine. With my hand pressed into the small of back, I began to move, swaying her from side to side to the beat of some unknown song.

We didn't talk. There was no reason to say anything, both of us lost in the moment. Dancing gave way to tender touches, the slow shedding of clothing, and eventually the two of us on the bed, the earthy smell of roses all around.

I teased that soft spot I loved at the bend in her neck as her fingers wove through my hair. I buried my face in the gentle slope of her breasts, the dip of her hip, the curve of her elbow, and everywhere else I could reach and touch.

She was perfection and mine.

"Edward," she moaned as I pressed my tongue against her, swirling and tasting.

Mine. It would never get old.

Her nails dug into the tops of my shoulders as my fingers moved inside her.

I was aching. She was panting, writhing, then coming.

And I couldn't wait any longer.

My mouth was on hers, rough and wanting, as I pushed inside her.

I pumped my hips, sliding in and out as I held onto her, then the headboard for leverage. A wet sheen of sweat covered me, her, as I continued pounding into her. My movements were frantic, just like my mind, full of jagged fragmented thoughts of how she felt beneath me, around me.

There were whispered words I could barely comprehend. I was lost. In her. In the overwhelming sensation of the warmth and want of her body.

At last, she cried out, and as I looked into her almost black eyes, it was… there were no words for the way she gave herself to me as her eyes fluttered closed and her body stilled beneath mine.

I followed after her, my orgasm so intense I almost blacked out. Tender kisses along the length of my jaw brought me back to her. I was putty in her hands, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would spend the rest of my life trying to show this woman how much I loved her.

And it would never be enough.

~*WS*~

**Friday, 23 March**

Bella's phone buzzed for what felt like the fifth or sixth time in a matter of minutes. She hastily pulled it out of her back pocket and scanned the contents before quickly typing out a response and shoving it back into her pocket.

She had been acting strange all day, the scene above playing out several times over, and I couldn't figure out what was going on. I didn't really want to ask, but after it vibrated again I finally asked, "Everything okay?"

She looked up at me in surprise. "Yep. Just texting with Angie."

I nodded and turned back to the random assortment of gifts and trinkets before me. I didn't buy it. There was something… off in her voice. We'd decided to spend most of the day taking it easy. We wanted to get some gifts for people back home, and I was looking for something for the apartment.

I tried to shove aside my misgivings, but the weird feeling in my stomach twisted and rolled every time she pulled out her phone. And it continued for a good two hours, off and on, as we made our way from shop to shop.

She'd tap out a message, shove her phone back into her pocket, all with a furrow in her brow.

After the fifth shop and another frown, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Bella, what is going on?" I couldn't help the exasperated tone of my voice.

"It's nothing."

I looked away, feeling my insides clench in frustration as I ground my teeth. "It's clearly not nothing. You guys have been going at it for the last two hours. You're frowning and clearly upset about something. What is going on?"

She huffed but looked away, and I knew my suspicions were right.

I wrapped my hand around her elbow. "Love… talk to me. Is Angie okay?"

She turned and looked at me, tears shimmering in her eyes. I drew in a breath; I wasn't expecting that.

"Hey," I said, soothingly, as I pulled her stiff body against mine. "Don't cry. Just tell me what's going on, Bella. We can deal with whatever it is."

"Princeton doesn't have any openings."

It took me a minute to figure out what she was saying. Princeton? And then it dawned on me. She had said weeks ago that she'd put out some feelers to different universities to see what she could find. I knew she'd sent one to Princeton, but I hadn't given it much thought. Until now.

I held her against me, oblivious to the shoppers and tourists around us, while she cried.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

I had no idea why she was sorry. She couldn't help them not having an opening.

"Hey," I said, pulling back enough that I could look at her. "There's nothing to be sorry for, Pretty girl. We'll figure it out."

She sniffed, her eyes already turning red. I hated it. "But if I had done more or maybe written more books or presented more…"

"Enough, Bella. Do not go there. Not only is it completely ridiculous, it's simply untrue. This has _nothing_ to do with your competence and professionalism. Not even close. Princeton wasn't meant to be. It's not the end all be all, and we will figure it out."

I knew I was being a harsh, but I had to make her understand how asinine her line of thinking was. Her lip quivered as a fresh wave of tears rolled down her face. I moved us to a more secluded location and held her while she cried. All the while, I was racking my brain, trying to figure out the next step. There were certainly other universities in the area she could tap into, but I wasn't sure if she would be interested. There was also the Connecticut option. I had sort of hoped to wrap that project and move on, but there were probably an option there for me to do more.

Her sniffling brought me out of my thoughts. I stopped running my fingers through her hair and let her sit back.

"I'm sorry."

I started to speak but she held up her hand.

"I'm sorry I didn't just tell you right away. I found out this morning and didn't know what to say. I didn't want you to be disappointed, and I knew Angie would understand. I should have told you," she said, her voice a low whisper.

I pulled her back against me, my arms wrapping around her waist. "Baby, please don't shut me out. We're a team. Partners. And hopefully more when the time is right. I don't care about Princeton or where we ultimately settle down. As long as we're together – _and we will be_ – that's all that matters.

"I know. I just… I don't know what to do now."

"Where else did you send inquiries?"

She took a deep, shaky breath, and sat back, her brow furrowed in thought. "Yale, Albert Magnus, Wesleyan, Quinnipiac, Southern Connecticut State, and Rider."

As she ran through the list, I mentally tried to locate each one. I knew Rider was in Princeton and a pretty decent liberal arts school. All the rest she'd listed were in Connecticut.

"Okay, so we've got options, Love. Let's just take it step by step. Will you have a chance to connect with any professors from those schools at your conference in a few weeks?"

She tentatively nodded her head.

"Let's see if that opens any doors. I can put out some feelers for the long term in Connecticut. I know Ben had casually mentioned some possibilities for additional work there. I'll see what he has to say, and I'll also see if anyone there or in the Princeton office has contacts with the local universities. With the research connections, we'll almost certainly find someone. Even if they aren't in English or E-Lit.

"More importantly, though, I want you to stop taking this on by yourself. We're a team, Pretty girl. And that means we do this together. This is not just on you to figure everything out. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. I should have been doing more."

"Okay."

I could hear the hesitance in her voice. "Hey, you're doing it again. Stop."

She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and looked at me. Really looked at me. I could see the fear and sadness in her eyes and I knew I had to replace that with something better.

"I love you, Bella. More than anything. We will figure this out. Do you hear me?"

She nodded.

"Do you trust me?" A ripple of residual fear crept up my spine at how far we'd come and how hard it had been to earn her trust and respect again. I didn't want to do anything to put it in jeopardy.

"You know I do, Edward."

"Okay, then. I promise we will get through this. We knew it wouldn't be easy, but I will not let you down. If I have to move, if we both have to move… whatever we end up doing it will work out. I know that. You're all that matters to me, Love."

"I love you so much."

We spent the rest of the afternoon talking through each of the universities over a bottle of wine out on the lawn of one of the wineries. By the evening, things seemed to have lightened, and I think we both felt better.

Just for good measure though, I spent the evening loving on her, running her a bath that I subsequently joined, and then showing her exactly how good of a team we could be.


	56. Chapter 56: Compete, Discreet, Receipt

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Thanks to jennde for her eyes and reassurance!

_With all the FF fail, please make sure you are really up to date. Chapters 54 and 55 covered their Sonoma trip. This is about three weeks later._

_Just a reminder – Bella is in Chicago for a conference. Time difference in one hour._

**Word Prompt: Compete, discreet, receipt**

* * *

><p><strong>Wednesday, 11 April<strong>

I glanced at my phone for what felt like the hundredth time that day. Bella was supposed to present her lecture at two thirty that afternoon, and it was almost six. Even with the time change, she'd been done an hour and a half. I needed a distraction, and my hotel room wasn't providing one.

Grabbing my jacket, key card, wallet, and phone, I decided to head down to the hotel bar, hoping a drink would help take the edge off.

The bar was more crowded than usual. Yes, I knew what it usually looked like since I'd been there for almost two full weeks. After the trip to Sonoma, I'd flown to Connecticut to check on the team and ended up staying to deal with a handful of little problems. Things, in general, were going well even though our schedule had slipped, and after working through the issues that had come up I was able to do a little investigating of my own.

Ben and I had talked upon my return. I'd told him about Bella, how things had just sort of happened. We had talked about my initial thought of moving to Seattle, but he'd nixed that right away, saying the company needed me in other areas and that the team there was more than capable of strong performance under both Steve and Mike Newton.

We'd talked about long term work in Princeton, but he seemed to think there might be better opportunities in Connecticut – for both of us – especially in light of the work I was already doing up there. He'd sent a few emails to some of his colleagues – people I'd heard of but hadn't had the chance to meet or work with – and made some inquiries. I'd been meeting with different research directors in between all the other stuff going on with the PFH.

My phone buzzed just as I sat down.

**IS: Lecture went really well. Off to dinner and drinks with some colleagues. Will call later tonight. Love you!**

**EC: I'm so proud of you! Can't wait to hear about it. **

**EC: Love you, too.**

I smiled as I set my phone aside and the waitress approached me. I ordered a large plate of loaded nachos and a Dos Equis and sat back to watch the baseball game on T.V. Even though I loved baseball, I wasn't really interested. My mind kept wandering back to the meeting I'd had with the head of the Neuroscience division. It looked like they might have a potential opportunity if they were able to procure funding for a new study they'd proposed back in January. When I had asked about the timeline, he'd told me they were expecting answers by the end of April.

Of course, I knew just as well as anyone that those dates didn't often mean anything. Until the funding was locked down – and sometimes even then – nothing was guaranteed. We'd talked at length about the proposed study, the work they'd already been doing, and what, if anything, he thought I might be able to take on.

As it turned out, one of their current research leads was retiring, and once that happened and _if_ the funding came through, an opportunity for a new team lead would become available. There were a lot of "ifs" in there, but it looked promising, more promising than anything else I had going.

The same was true for Bella. In the time since we'd been back from Sonoma, she'd gotten nothing but bad news from the myriad universities and colleges to which she'd inquiried. The only two places she hadn't heard back from were Quinnipiac in Hamden and the Rider campus in Princeton. I was hoping something would pan out with those two options. If she were able to join the faculty at either of those schools, I would figure out my part.

Cheers erupted in the bar as one of the Yankee players rounded the bases. I drained my beer, signed the receipt, and went back to my room.

~*WS*~

I was just climbing into bed when my phone rang. I saw Bella's name flashing across the screen, and my heart immediately sped up. Even from a distance that woman owned me.

"Hey, Pretty Girl," I said, answering the phone.

"Heeeyyyy, sexy handsome boyfriend," Bella slurred.

My girl was drunk. This was going to be… interesting.

"Sounds like you had a good time tonight," I hedged, curious what all went down with her and a bunch of colleagues she didn't really know.

"Welllll," she said, drawing out her words. "Drinks. Dinner. More drinks?" She giggled.

"Are you back at your hotel now?" She was a grown woman and could certainly take care of herself, but it didn't change the fact that I worried about her when we were apart, especially when she was far from home.

"Nope," she said, popping the "P." "Just came outside to check in."

"Love, you don't have to _check_ in. Are you okay?"

There was a pause, and I could hear talking and laughing in the background.

"Bella?"

"What?"

"I asked if you were okay."

"Yep." Again with the "P" pop and giggles.

I waited for her to say something, but she didn't.

"So, how did the lecture go?"

"Was good."

The line was silent for a few minutes as I waited for her to say more. She didn't.

"Um, okay."

I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't feel like I could have a real conversation with her when she was clearly distracted, and even though I knew I shouldn't, I felt a little irritated. I'd been waiting all day to hear about her lecture and still wasn't going to get to.

"Have you met any people from Quinn or Rider?"

"Yeah."

I heard her say something away from the mouthpiece and then laugh. I blew out a frustrated breath and decided to end the call. She was clearly distracted, and prolonging the conversation wasn't going to get us anywhere.

"Okay, well, I'm going to let you go." I tried to keep my tone even, not that she realized I was irritated.

"Oh, okay. Love you."

She hung up before I could even say it back, and I tossed my phone on the bed. What the hell?

I climbed out of bed and filled a glass full of water and quickly swallowed it down. I was kicking myself for not going on this trip with her. We'd talked about it a little, and she had even expressed hope at the idea. But after discreetly inquiring about the possibility of taking a couple days off, I realized it just wasn't going to work.

Whatever.

Sleep didn't come easily. I tossed and turned, and when it did find me, I was restless and unsettled.

~*WS*~

**Thursday, 12 April**

"Hello," I said, my voice rough and groggy. The alarm clock on the table beside the bed read six.

"Hey," she said tentatively.

I rolled onto my back and put my hand over my eyes. My head hurt, my muscles were tight, and the irritation I'd felt when I went to bed the night before hadn't waned.

"Hey," I said. "Have a good time last night?" I could hear the bitter note in my voice and tried to shove it away. It wouldn't budge.

"I'm sorry about last night. Things were pretty crazy." She sounded tired. Her voice was rough from sleep and probably alcohol consumption.

"I gathered that." I was being short. It was childish, and I knew it.

"Don't be like that please. I should have called right after my lecture, but people sort of swarmed me. Conversations at the convention led to drinks during the reception the sponsors hosted, and then a group of us that had been talking went out for dinner and drinks."

I didn't say anything.

"If it's any consolation," she pressed on, "one of the people I spent the evening with was a professor from Quinnipiac. He said there might be an opening there. The department is looking to add an additional Comp Lit professor."

I heard everything she said but got stuck on the "he" part. I squeezed my eyes closed and tugged on my hair.

_Deep breathes, man._

"That's really great."

She blew out a long breath. "Edward, what's going on?"

I blew out a long breath just like she had, feeling the frustration tighten in my chest and trying to push it aside. I knew my attitude was shit, and I didn't want to take it out on her.

"Honestly, Bella, I'm frustrated. I waited all day yesterday to hear how your lecture went, and when you finally called it was like you couldn't wait to get off the phone with me."

The line was silent for a minute. I could hear her breathing on the other end but decided not to say anything.

"I'm sorry. The day was just really crazy. I didn't mean to upset you."

_Well, you did._

_I hate that I wasn't there with you. _

_This fucking sucks._

"Okay."

She sighed, and when she spoke next her voice was quiet.

"Edward, I really am sorry. I don't know what else to say."

There really wasn't anything to say. I needed to get over it. If I was really honest with myself, I'd felt like I was competing for her attention and I'd lost, something that hadn't happened since we'd started dating.

"It's okay. I'm just being stupid and stubborn."

"No. I get it. If the situation were reversed I'd be hurt, too."

The buzzer on my alarm clock sounded, and I slid the switch to off and sat up.

"I guess you need to get up and ready, huh?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Well… just so you know, things really went well yesterday. The lecture was well received, and I think people liked the concept behind the book. I also had a bunch of good conversations with people from other universities. Not only did I hear about something from Quinn, I also found out that Rutgers might have something, too. That's only an hour away, right?"

"Actually, it's only about thirty or forty."

"Anyway, it was nice to find out at least one of the schools we were looking at was still a potential. Any word on stuff in Connecticut?"

If she got a job at Quinn, I would definitely need to fight for something up there. I was determined to redouble my efforts, especially in light of her news. I was ready to do anything to get rid of the awful tension and distance between us.

I filled her in on the meeting I'd had with the Neuroscience director and explained how things worked. I tried to condense it, because I really needed to get ready for work. It sucked that a conversation that should have been filled with such hope had been tainted by… our circumstances.

"Maybe things really are going to work out." Her voice was hopeful and sad, and something about it caused all my frustration to melt away. The fact that she had even an inkling of doubt that we were going to figure it out was not okay with me.

In hindsight, I realized my attitude hadn't helped. _Such an idiot._

"They will, Love." I paused. "I'm sorry for being such a jealous jerk."

She giggled for the first time since her drunken call the night before, and it was really good to hear. "Jealous? But why?"

"Because I hate sharing you, even though it's ridiculous of me to think I have a monopoly on you."

I waited a second, feeling the familiar flip-flop in my chest.

"I miss you, Bella."

She sighed. But not in an exasperated way. It was more like she understood and felt the same, and something about that made me feel ridiculously good. "Edward, when are you going to learn there's no competition? I love you. Only you."

"I know. Like I said, jealous jerk. Forgive me?" I asked.

"You know I do."

After a short beat of easy silence, I told her I really needed to get ready. We said our goodbye and promised to chat later in the day.

As I tucked in my pants and fastened my belt, I rehashed the conversation we'd just had. I hoped one day she and I could look back and find our relationship was stronger and we were better friends because of the distance we'd endured.

Until then, we'd just continue to muddle through it.

* * *

><p>I'm finally back home and ready to get in my normal routine. I hope to reply to reviews and be more consistent as the weekend and next week finds me! Thank you all for your very kind words - both for the story and for my family. They mean so much. xoxo<p> 


	57. Chapter 57: Persistent

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

**Word Prompt: Persistent**

**Monday, 23 April**

* * *

><p>"Two Yeunglings and three orders of wings please," I said to the server as Emmett walked through the door of the bar.<p>

"Got it," she said with a smile and walked away.

"Hey, man," Emmett said, clapping me on the shoulder, and climbed onto the stool opposite me.

"Hey, Em. Got you a Yeungling and some wings."

"Awesome. How was the trip?"

"Good. Better than, actually," I said, the smile I always got when I thought about time with Bella spreading across my face.

Emmett laughed. "Apparently."

"Whatever, man," I said and rolled my eyes.

"Hey, I get it. I was the same way with Rose, and she just lived across town. I don't know how you guys have managed the distance for the last… what… four months?"

I snorted. "Yeah. Although it feels like longer."

The server returned and put our drinks down in front of us. "Wings will be out in just a bit," she said before asking if we needed anything else.

We told her no, and I waited for her to walk away before turning back to Emmett. I had something I wanted to talk about, something that had been on my mind the entire weekend I'd just spent with Bella. After her trip to Chicago and our little tiff, I'd needed to see her. Things had been fine between us, but there was nothing like being face-to-face when it came to smoothing away all the rough edges.

After checking with Angie to see if Bella's schedule was clear, I'd purchased a ticket to Seattle and flown out there. To say Bella was surprised would have been an understatement. She was speechless when she'd opened her front door and saw me standing there, and then she'd cried when I pulled her into my arms and kissed her with everything I had. We'd spent the entire weekend lost in our bubble, barely venturing out.

"So, how's the job search going?" Emmett asked, taking a pull from his beer and pulling me from my thoughts.

"Bella's or mine?"

I tipped my bottle back and let the cool liquid run down my throat.

"I didn't realize you were looking, too."

I nodded and set the bottle back down, fingering the label. "Well, we both are. With Bella being a professor, we both need to keep our options open. She's got several options here and in Connecticut."

Bella had been nothing if not persistent in her inquiries. After the conference, she'd followed up with the contacts she'd made at Rutgers, Quinn, and Rider. As it turned out, Rider wasn't going to work out. They'd decided to spread the work among their current faculty members and wait a little longer to fill what we'd thought was an opening.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, it looks like she's trying to choose between Rutgers and Quinnipiac in Connecticut. She is supposed to do a phone interview with the department directors at both schools sometime this week. If those go well, she's probably going to be coming here in early to mid-May for interviews. At least that's the notional timeline."

"Wow. Things are definitely moving forward. What's going on in Connecticut for you? Other than the PFH?" Emmett asked just as the server set our food on the table in front of us.

He grabbed a wing, and I watched as he tore into it.

"Well, I've actually got a couple of leads there. Ben's been great about connecting me with some of his colleagues. It looks like I have at least two options available – one with the Neuroscience division and the other is a longer term team lead role with the Virology team I'm currently working with."

I picked up a wing and sank my teeth into the flesh, the spicy tang burning my mouth as I chewed and swallowed.

"And what about here?" he asked.

I grabbed my beer and took a swig. "You gonna miss me, Sunshine?"

"Please. I can't wait to get rid of your whiny ass." He smirked as he grabbed another wing.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "You know you love me."

"Anyway," he said, motioning me to continue.

"Things here will continue as planned. I'm honestly waiting more to see what happens with Bella. For now, it seems like her job has more restrictions than mine, so whatever I can do to simplify things for her is pretty much where we'll end up."

Emmett eyed me as he cleaned the meat off the bone he was eating before picking up another one. He looked thoughtful, and for whatever reason, I was glad for the lull in the conversation.

We sat in silence, both watching the television screen next to us, eating and drinking. I thought about what it might mean to move away from Princeton, to a new city, and while it would suck to be away from Em, Rose, and the guys, I knew it would be worth it. Hell, Bella was packing up her entire life, too, and I would do just about anything to be with her.

I was just about to ask Em about Rose and the girls when he surprised me with his next question.

"So, when you gonna make an honest woman of her?"

I grinned. "Soon." I'd been thinking about asking Bella to marry me for a couple of weeks. The incident in Chicago had pushed it into overdrive and then my visit to Seattle over the weekend had pretty much solidified my desire to make things official.

She hadn't asked or said anything, but the more I'd thought about it, the more I'd realized how much I wanted – no, needed – to give her that reassurance. I loved her. More than anything. And if she was going to drop everything she'd created in Seattle and move across the country to be with me, then I wanted her to know, even more than she already did, that this – she, us – was it for me. I wanted to spend my life with her, as a true partner.

He chuckled as he tipped his bottle back. "Yeah?"

I nodded and grew quiet. "I've been thinking about it for a while." I looked down, my fingers skimming the edge of the table as I tried to get my thoughts in order. "I love her. I honestly can't imagine my life without her." I paused. "She's pretty fucking amazing, Em, and the distance and all of it, as much as it has sucked… I wouldn't trade any of it if it means I get her forever."

I didn't even care how cheesy that sounded. If there was one person who could hear what I was saying, it was Emmett. He and Rose had always been that way – _it_ for each other – and I knew he wouldn't think I was being dumb or overly romantic; I was grateful I wouldn't get any flack from him.

He grinned again, a grin I knew well from the days he had been in the same boat with Rose, and reached his fist across the table. I bumped his with mine, and we both laughed. "About damn time."


	58. Chapter 58: Styrofoam

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. Thanks to mycrookedsmile for her lovely eyes. She's a giver. I'm a taker. And I'm grateful she humors me in all things.

**Word Prompt: Styrofoam**

**Wednesday, 2 May**

* * *

><p>My heart was pounding despite how sure and confident I felt. I'd already talked to my parents, but this call was going to be different.<p>

When I'd called my parents, they were ecstatic. They already knew how I felt about Bella. They'd been on the receiving end of my craziness at Christmas, and my mom and I had talked at length about options for the future. They were anxious to see her, since it had been a long time. I'd promised to get back to them with a time either Bella and I could make it to Chicago or they could come to Princeton. Either way, I knew they would love her as much as I did.

Bella's dad, on the other hand, was less likely to be kind. I wasn't sure what he'd say or how he'd go about it. I knew Bella had told him about us, that things were serious, but I didn't know if he had any idea just how serious or if he still had any hang ups over what had happened ten years ago.

I sat back in the chair at my dining room table and picked up my phone. I stared at the name on my screen and after blowing out a long breath, pushed the call button.

I listened as the phone rang. After the fourth ring I was about to hang up when I heard a gruff voice answer on the other end of the line.

"Hello?"

"Um, hello, Chief Swan?"

"This is he."

"Sir, this is Edward Cullen. I hope I haven't caught you at a bad time."

There was some shuffling on the other end of the line, and I could hear muffled voices talking. I waited, my nerves fraying bit by bit with each passing second.

"What can I do for you, Edward?"

I shifted the phone away from my mouth and blew out a quick breath. "Well, sir, I wanted to talk to you about Bella."

"Go on."

I was caught off guard by his abruptness, although I really shouldn't have been. He was like that the few times I'd met him when Bella and I had dated in college.

"I would have liked to do this in person, but the timing didn't quite work out for me to make a trip to Forks. So, I hope you'll excuse the impersonal nature of this call."

I waited for a response but didn't get one. I pressed on.

"Chief Swan, I care a great deal about your daughter. As you know, she and I have been back together since before Christmas. In that time-"

"Are you calling to ask permission to marry my daughter?" he asked, interrupting me.

I swallowed down the bile that had risen in the back of my throat as my stomach started flip flopping like mad. "Um, well Sir, actually I was calling for your blessing. Bella doesn't know that I'm planning to propose, but she is coming to visit next week, and I'd like to ask her then. I know she doesn't need your permission, and in truth, I suppose I don't either, but I know she'd appreciate knowing she has your support. Yours and Sue's."

"Hmmm," he hummed, a low gravelly sound coming roughly through the line.

I hoped he didn't say no. I was pretty sure he wouldn't, and like I'd said, I didn't need his permission. Neither did Bella. But I really wanted it.

"I love your daughter, Chief Swan. I can't begin to tell you what she means to me, other than to say I love her and being with her has completely changed my life. She's everything to me, and I promise to take care of her and give her everything she needs and wants, to the best of my ability."

I didn't know what else to say. So, I waited, and when he started talking I felt the sick pinch of dread settle in my stomach.

"Well, Son, I can't say I was too happy with you after you broke up with her in college, but Bella has long since forgiven you. I suppose I can, too.

"Now, as you said, Bella doesn't need my permission to get married. She's a grown woman and has been for some time, and as I'm sure you well know, is quite independent and headstrong."

I laughed. That was an understatement.

"But I appreciate you calling and asking for my blessing, and I'm willing to give it on one condition."

"Anything, Sir." He could have asked me to lasso the moon and I would have killed myself trying.

"Make sure my girl is happy, that she doesn't have to sacrifice everything she's worked hard for to make this relationship work. I know she's talking about moving across the country to a different university, and that's fine. But you need to meet her halfway."

"I will, Sir. I've already told Bella I'll find a job wherever she does." I felt compelled to explain where we were in the process. I had no idea how much Bella had told him, but it was clear he knew she was looking for new jobs. I didn't want him to think I'd left it all in her hands.

I explained the situation with the Seattle position, how Bella had taken it on herself to look into universities near my company's different research facilities, and that we both had options in the same city.

"Bottom line, Sir, I will move where she needs me to. I recognize that her options are more limited than mine and that what she has already accomplished shouldn't be wasted or sacrificed."

There was silence on the other end of the line. I decided to wait it out. If he was anything like Bella, they needed time and space to think.

"Very well, then," he said in that rough voice of his. "You have my blessing. But don't keep her locked away on the East Coast. Make sure you bring her out for a visit."

I grinned, all-consuming relief washing over me like a tsunami. "I will, Sir. Thank you."

"And just call me Charlie. No need to keep calling me Chief Swan or Sir, if we're going to be family."

I let out a relieved chuckle. "Thanks again, Charlie. I look forward to seeing you sometime soon."

"Mhhmmm," he grunted.

I quickly wrapped up the call, already out of my seat and my fist pumping the air as I hung up. It was time for some shopping.

**Monday, 7 May**

I pulled into a free parking space at the airport, my stomach already in knots. It had only been two weeks since I'd last seen Bella, but I swear it felt like each time we got together things were more intense than the last.

Things had been moving forward at what felt like a rapid pace. Her phone interviews with both Rutgers and Quinn had gone exceptionally well, and they'd both invited her back for a second interview. She was set to head over to Rutgers on Tuesday afternoon, and then both of us would fly to Connecticut – me for work and her for her Friday morning interview at Quinn – on Thursday evening.

I walked inside the airport, scanned the arrivals board, and saw her flight was on time. I made my way to the security area and leaned against the wall to wait. The overhead speaker boomed with security warnings, arrival information, and last calls. I watched people crying as their loved ones came through the gate, and I couldn't wait to see Bella.

I had big plans for our week together. After my conversations with my parents, Charlie, and Emmett, I'd spent a good deal of time shopping and planning. I thought about the velvet box tucked behind a stack of stuff at the top of my closet and smiled. I was excited and nervous about finally making her mine. I had no doubt she'd say yes. It seemed, even though everything between us had been a whirlwind of yes and wait and hellos and goodbyes, we were both ready for the next step. It felt like things were finally falling into place – with her job and mine – and I couldn't wait to see my ring on her finger.

I heard the voice on the overhead call out her flight arrival, and I stood up a little straighter. My girl was finally going to be back with me, and everything about that felt right.

~*WS*~

I handed the delivery guy a twenty and took the bag from him. After closing the door, I walked into the living room just as Bella rounded the corner with our beers.

"Hope you're hungry," I said, lifting the bag for her to see.

She grinned. "Starving."

We sat down and dug through the bag, both ready to devour everything before us. I handed her the Styrofoam bowl of wonton soup she'd ordered and opened the container with our egg rolls and crab rangoon.

"This so good," Bella moaned as she slurped her soup.

I didn't even bother responding as I bit into my egg roll, humming at the flavor explosion in my mouth.

After we'd both eaten our fill, I pulled her against me, fresh bottles of beer in hand, and we watched a movie. It felt perfect, just like every time we were together.

At some point during the movie, I felt her burrow a little closer, her body relaxing against mine, and all the pieces fell into place. It wasn't like I needed a sign or some additional hint from the universe that she was meant for me, but when she fisted my shirt as if she didn't want to let go, I knew beyond all doubt that I'd ask her to marry me that week.

~*WS*~

**Tuesday, 8 May**

I heard the keys jingle in the door and immediately flew across the room and jerked it open.

"Well?" I asked.

She jumped back, her eyes wide. "You scared the crap out of me!"

"Sorry. How did it go?" I'd been waiting all day to hear how her interview had gone. When I'd left her early that morning to head into work, I'd given her a set of keys, kissed her on the forehead, and wished her luck. I'd wanted to have lunch before she left for Rutgers, but she'd been too nervous to eat; in truth, so had I.

She grinned. "Really well!"

"Yeah?" I asked, pulling her into a hug.

"Yeah." She pulled back and looked at me, her eyes sparkling. "How about I tell you all about it over dinner and drinks. I'm starving."

"Let's go."

I grabbed my keys and jacket and walked her out to my car.

Over dinner, Bella walked me through all the details of the interview, from the way they welcomed her on campus, to the tour they'd given her, the questions they'd asked, and the details about salary and other benefits.

"It was so intense, Edward. In some ways I felt like I'd gotten the job already and in other moments it was like I was light years from getting it."

"What do you mean?" I asked, setting my glass down and leaning back to listen.

"Well… it's hard to pinpoint, exactly, but when they were telling me about the course offerings, it felt like… like my experience or focus or something didn't measure up."

I frowned, unsure what she meant by that. "Hmmm."

"I know. It doesn't make sense, and I'm sure I was reading into things. I was nervous and trying to hit every point I could think of, you know?"

"I do," I said, nodding, and then reached for her hand. "But Bella, I'm a firm believer in things working out if they are meant to be. That's not to say that you don't have any influence on it, of course you do. But it's not just about you, and you can only do your best. You are an amazing professor, and while I might be biased, I know any university would be lucky to have you."

She squeezed my fingers, her cheeks flushing as she smiled. "You have to say that."

"No, I don't. I've never seen you in action, but I do know this – you are a well-educated, very passionate woman. Everything you do is done with purpose and intention. You were like that when we were in school together, and you've brought that same determination and tenacity to our relationship now. So like I said, I may be biased, but I know I'm not basing it on nothing."

Her eyes sparkled as they met mine. "Thank you," she whispered and squeezed my fingers again.

~*WS*~

**Thursday, 10 May**

The wheels of our plane touched down, and when the seat belt light went off with a ding, we unbuckled and grabbed our bags, both ready to be off the plane. The skies had been rough, and I knew Bella's stomach was unsettled. Hell, I didn't feel that great either.

After getting our rental car, we drove to the hotel, and checked in. Quinnipiac had offered to pay for Bella's room, but she'd told them it wouldn't be necessary. Indeed, it wouldn't; my pretty girl was sleeping with me.

We placed an order with room service and then settled in. We were going to be there for the next three days, and there was no reason to live out of our suitcases.

"How are you feeling about tomorrow morning?" I asked after the food cart had been delivered and we were seated at the little table near the window.

She swallowed the food in her mouth. "Good. Nervous. Sort of the same as I did about Rutgers. Although, maybe a bit more anxious."

I quirked my eyebrow. "Why?"

She furrowed her brow for a second and then her face smoothed out. "Well, I actually really like Quinn. Everything I've read about it, the people I met at the conference, I don't know. In some ways I really want the option of joining their faculty, but then I think about how simple things would be if I got the job at Rutgers…" She trailed off and shrugged her shoulders.

"What do you mean 'simple'? Love, I told you - I go where you go. If you get the job here and it's a good fit, then I'm game. I have several options here, as well, and I'm up for a change."

She let out a breath. "Really?"

"Silly, of course, really. I'm sorry if I've done something to make you think otherwise. In my mind, I've always been focused on figuring out how to be where you are."

I almost blurted how that I'd already promised her dad I would do whatever it took to keep her career on the up and up, but fortunately I didn't.

She smiled, and the relief was evident as her shoulders sagged a bit and a smile pulled at the corner of her lips. "I know you said that, and I believe you. It's just… I don't know."

"Don't know about what?" I asked. I wanted to know what was really bothering her.

She nibbled on her bottom lip, her dinner and mine pushed aside. I could tell she was nervous as her eyes danced around the room. I reached across the table and put my hand on top of hers to stop the tap tap tap of her drumming fingers.

"Love? What's going on?"

"Well… I guess it's just… it feels like so much upheaval for such a short period of time. I mean… that sounds bad, like I don't think… I guess what I'm trying to say is… are we moving too fast? Uprooting ourselves too quickly?"

I heard the words she was saying and I knew my instincts before had been right. She needed reassurance, that this wasn't just some fling, that this was the real deal. I knew she believed me, felt the same way as I did, but it still sucked.

I squeezed her fingers and realized it was time. Time to put all of her fears to rest. Time to do what I'd been hoping to do for weeks. Time to put aside all my fancy plans and make her mine.

"Can you give me a second?" I asked. "I need to get something."

* * *

><p>I think I got all the review replies so far! I'm posting this second one today just to say thanks for bearing with me as I've gotten behind and for sticking with me. I'm trying to get things wrapped as quickly as possible while staying true to this story. Thank you guys so much for the love and support! More tomorrow. xoxo<p> 


	59. Chapter 59: Target

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. Mycrookedsmile made me stop flailing. Thank you will never be enough.

Pictures on the blog: jessyptff dot blogspot dot come

**Word Prompt: Target**

**Thursday, 10 May**

* * *

><p><em>I squeezed her fingers and realized it was time. Time to put all of her fears to rest. Time to do what I'd been hoping to do for weeks. Time to put aside all my fancy plans and make her mine. <em>

_"Can you give me a second?" I asked. "I need to get something."_

She looked at me, confused, and then nodded. I quickly stood up and walked over to my laptop bag, careful to keep my back to her. I rifled through the small pocket on the inside, where I'd stowed it for safekeeping, and grabbed the velvet box.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. All the words I'd planned to say on Saturday flew out the window as I thought about what Bella needed, what she'd tried to voice but couldn't fully put into words. My fingers tightened against the plush material, a reminder of what was beautiful and precious and soft in my life. I turned to face her, discreetly sliding the box in the back pocket of my jeans, and as I looked at her, it was like everything sharpened and became clear.

She was my life – my past, present, and God willing, my future.

I moved toward her, my eyes locked with hers, and as I knelt before her I felt a surge of love so strong it almost bowled me over. I reached for her hands and looked down, brushing my thumbs across her smooth skin as I traced the rise and fall of each knuckle.

"Bella," I said, looking up at her shimmering eyes. "The week I found you, _again_," I said with a little smirk, "turned my entire world upside down. And then that night in your living room, with a simple 'yes' and the promise to give us another chance, you made it right again.

"We've faced our ups and downs in the time we've been together, and I know we'll be stronger for it when we finally get rid of this distance between us. I want that so much, Pretty girl. I want to wake up beside you, and go to bed next to you every night, and share all the moments in between. I don't want to miss out on the all the little parts of your life, and I want to be able to share all mine with you."

I paused, my words starting to feel jumbled in my head. I took a deep breath as tears pooled on her eyelids. I could tell we were both on the verge of losing it, both trying to hold all our feelings at bay. She gave me a small smile, and with it the calm confidence I needed to continue. I tightened my fingers around hers and then let go as I reached inside my pocket.

I pulled out the velvet box, and her eyes widened as I slowly opened the lid. "Bella, I love you, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you be my teammate for life? Will you marry me?"

Her face lit up – eyes blazing and still shiny from tears, cheeks tear-tracked and flushed, and a smile so bright and beautiful it was blinding.

"Yes," she said, her voice strong and sure. "Yes!"

_Yes. Yes. Yes. _

Over and over the word repeated in my head as I pulled the ring from the cushion and gently slid the delicate band onto her finger. The diamonds twinkled in the light, and as she took it in, I knew I couldn't have chosen better.

I stared at it – _my_ ring on _her_finger – and tears pricked at the back of my eyes. I had no idea being with someone could feel this way – so overwhelming and satisfying all at once, but Bella had changed my life. She had made me see that second chances were worth fighting for, that trust could be earned even if it had been broken, and best of all, that shared love could be all-consuming.

_Yes. Yes. Yes. _

She said yes.

I lifted her hand to my lips, kissing the knuckle just above her ring, and then stood, gently pulling her up. She stood before me, fully my equal, and I knew we were going to make a killer team.

In a haze, I leaned forward and brushed my lips against hers, my hands sliding around to cup her jaw and cheeks. She was warm and soft and tasted like the wine she'd been sipping, and when her tongue touched mine, it was like everything I'd ever wanted and not nearly enough.

Just like the first time, only better.

Gentle touches turned frenzied with need and then slowed as we took our time celebrating. I walked her to the bed, our clothes dropping along the way. I sat down and watched her pull off her jeans and panties, taking in every dip and curve of her body. She stood naked before me, bare and beautiful with my ring on her finger, and I realized I would never be able to get enough of her.

I pulled her to me, in between my legs, and leaned my forehead against her stomach. I felt like I was in the middle of storm, my emotions being tossed and turned with each rise and fall of her breath. Her fingers slid into my hair, and she tugged just enough to get me to look up at her.

"I love you, Edward Cullen."

"Me, too, Bella. God, I just… you said yes," I whispered, looking back at the smooth plane of her stomach.

She grinned as her deep throaty laugh filled the room, and I looked back up at her. "Of course, I did, Handsome. I don't want to be anywhere but with you."

I slid my hands up the front of her legs, across her hips, and cupped her ass. I grinned up at her, loving the way she looked – so open and vulnerable as her eyes watched my every move, and so pretty and wanting as her lips parted.

I spent the remainder of the evening savoring every part of her and the beginning of a new phase of life for us. Whispered words of adoration and love fell from her lips as her fingers traced over my arms, shoulders, and back. Hovering above her, I laced my fingers with hers, and stared down at Bella's flushed face.

"I love you," I said, my lips just barely brushing hers.

"I love you, too," she said, claiming my lips as I pushed inside her. My hips rocked against hers, both of us clinging tightly to the other as we found our release together.

~*WS*~

**Friday, 11 May**

As the black of night gave way to the pink of dawn, I woke with a start. I looked around our still dark room, feeling a little disoriented. Bella shifted against me, her arm still draped over my hip tugging me closer.

"Don't move," she mumbled. "So warm."

I chuckled and snuggled back against her after seeing it was barely six. I put my hand on top of hers and couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as the top of her ring brushed my palm. I looked down, lifting my hand, and stared at the glinting piece of jewelry that told the world she was taken, that she was mine.

That same sense of euphoria from the night before welled up inside me. I finally understood why Emmett had acted like a kid in a candy store after Rose had agreed to marry him. That was exactly how I felt, like I had just been given the green light to take and eat whatever I wanted.

I twisted around and pulled Bella closer, tangling my legs with hers, and a slow sleepy smile spread across her face.

"Morning," I whispered, my voice rough.

"Morning," she mumbled and tilted her face up. I pressed my lips against hers and decided I was ready for more taking... or giving, however you wanted to look at it.

~*WS*~

The morning passed quickly. Bella left for her interview at Quinnipiac, and I went into the office. I tried to keep my focus on the work-related things, but with everything on target, it was hard not to get distracted.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and quickly pulled it out to see a text from Bella.

**IS: Interview went really well. Can't wait to tell you all about it tonight.**

**EC: That's awesome! I finish at 3:30.**

**IS: Sounds good. Should I meet you at the hotel or somewhere else?**

**EC: Hotel. I want to drop my stuff off.**

**IS: Ok. Have a good day, Handsome. I'm going to explore the town.**

**EC: Be safe. Love you.**

**IS: I will. Love you, too.**

I got back to the hotel just a little before four and found Bella curled up on the bed, sound asleep. She looked so peaceful, and I didn't have the heart to wake her. I knew she was exhausted from traveling, the stress of both interviews, and from being up half the night. I kissed her lightly on the forehead and let her sleep.


	60. Chapter 60: Ink

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

_Note: All commentary on Quinn and Rutgers are mine. I did some research on both universities, but I have never been to either campus, don't know anyone who went to either school, and made broad assumptions about their English departments. Please don't use this as a guide to picking a school. __  
><em>  
><strong>Word Prompt: Ink<strong>

**Friday, 11 May**

* * *

><p>The room was dark, except for the side lamp I'd turned on. Bella had been asleep for the entire hour I'd been sitting in the room. I'd mostly watched her but after a while decided that was creepy and grabbed a book.<p>

I still didn't get much reading done. I was lost in my thoughts, trying to imagine what it would be like to finally be in the same city, to live under one roof, when I saw Bella roll over. She was facing me, and I could see the confusion on her face as she looked around.

"Hey, Sleepyhead," I said, setting my book aside and standing up to go over to her.

"Hey," she said groggily. She looked over her shoulder out the window and then back to me. "What time is it?"

I looked at my watch. "Almost six."

She sat up abruptly. "Oh wow," she said, pushing her hair out of her face, "I can't believe I slept so long. Sorry about that."

I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear as I moved between her legs. "Don't be sorry. You looked so peaceful I couldn't bear to wake you. Plus, I like watching you sleep."

"That's weird." She rolled her eyes and leaned against me, her head resting against my hip.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do. I feel the same way."

"You hungry?" I asked just as I felt my stomach rumble.

She nodded.

Hand in hand we left the hotel and walked a few blocks to a local restaurant. After we'd ordered and received our drinks, Bella told me about her interview at Quinn. In some ways it felt like a repeat of our conversation earlier in the week, but I could tell she was excited and felt better about her performance after this one.

"So, do you have a preference?" I asked, wondering which way she was leaning.

"Well," she said, taking a sip of her beer, "I like them both, but they're different. Rutgers is bigger and public, much like UW, where Quinn is private and small. I've only taught in public universities, so there's definitely comfort there. But at the same time, I sort of like the idea of something new and different."

She paused, and I waited. I knew she had more to say, and like I'd told her, I was comfortable going or staying.

"Truthfully, I think the English department at Rutgers looks a little better. They seem to have more depth in their faculty, which I would expect given the broad nature of their student body. When I met with the department head at Rutgers he and I talked extensively about their Italy program. It was fun reliving some of my past experiences from when I'd gone there, and I think if I were offered a position there, it's something I'd like to do again."

I nodded. "Sounds good. I've never been to Italy, so I'd at least be able to come visit you while you were abroad."

"That's assuming I'm not sick of you yet," she said. She smirked and playfully nudged my knee with hers.

"As if you could ever get tired of this," I said, sitting back and giving her my best sexy face with full on lip curl and a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah… I'm pretty sure I could live without _that_," she said, grimacing and waving her hand in front of her.

I scowled for a second and then laughed.

"You can say that, but I know you love me. And you already said 'yes.' You can't take that back."

She giggled. "Well, about that…"

I scowled again. "Don't even go there, Pretty girl."

"Fine. Fine. I want you forever. Happy now?"

"Perfectly," I said, taking her hand in mine and rubbing my thumb over the ring on her finger. I still felt the same thrill as I did last night, and I wasn't sure it would ever get old.

"Okay, so back to what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted." She winked. "The other thing about Rutgers is that it would mean you wouldn't have to move."

"Well, I fully intend to move, so whether it's to Connecticut or somewhere in between Princeton and New Brunswick is somewhat immaterial."

"Oh." She nodded, thoughtfully. "That makes sense, I guess. For the near term though, you wouldn't have to. And your friends are there."

I was just about to say something when our food arrived. After the server set it all out and asked if we needed anything else, we dug in. A few bites later I said, "You know, Bella, as much as I love my friends, I don't want you to worry about that. I told you before I have good options in both Princeton and Wallingford. You're already moving your whole life to be with me, so choose the university that meets your needs. If Quinn is where you want to go, then I can move there. If it's Rutgers, well, my friends are an added bonus."

She paused, fork mid-air, and then set it down. I could see the little crease forming between her eyes; I wasn't sure what I'd just said to cause her to react like that. "Edward, you asked me to be your teammate for life, did you not?"

I nodded.

"I appreciate your willingness to go where I want to go, but I want to go where _we_ want to go."

"I hear you," I said, setting my fork on the edge of my plate and leaning forward a bit. "And I agree. I guess I just want you to know that I'll support you and be happy wherever we end up. As long as we're together, I honestly don't care where we live."

And that was the truth of it. My work had a lot more options for movement, and hers was by far the limiting factor. I knew we'd figure it out. Rutgers and Quinn were both good schools; we'd make a good life in either place.

"Thank you for saying that. When it comes down to it, that's how I feel, too."

We ate for a bit, chit chatting about nothing really. When we'd finished, I asked if she wanted to spend part of Saturday exploring the town, checking out neighborhoods, and maybe walking around Quinn. I still wanted to hear a little more about her interview and her general impressions, but it would be fun to do some of that while on campus.

"Sounds great. The campus is really nice. I think you'll like it."

"Can you see yourself working there?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I really can. But I felt that way about Rutgers, too."

"Well, I guess it's good that you like them both. When did they say they'd get back to you?"

"I was the last person they were interviewing. They said they were meeting over the weekend and I should hear something by late next week."

"So, a week until our future is all decided. Cool. I'm excited."

"Me, too," she said, a huge grin on her face. "Finally."

"It feels like we've been waiting forever, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. Who would have thought in five months our lives could change so much?"

I snorted. Like really snorted. "That's the understatement of the year."

We laughed for a while longer, and when the bill came, I signed the receipt, admiring the weight and smoothness of the pen.

"I dig this pen."

Bella scrunched her nose up. "What?"

"I like the way it writes. The ink just flows."

"You are such a dork sometimes."

I laughed. God, I loved this woman. "That makes you a dork-lover."

She cocked her head and smirked. "I'll show you exactly how good of a dork-lover I can be." With that, she grabbed my hand and led me out of the restaurant.

**Saturday, 12 May**

We spent all day Saturday out and about. We hit the farmer's market, visited the little shops downtown, drove around looking at different subdivisions, and then walked around Quinn.

Bella was right. The campus was nice. It had a small, comfortable feel to it, and I saw what she meant about it being different from UW and Rutgers.

"What does your gut tell you, Bella?"

"About what?" she asked, turning to face me. The sun was shining, and she looked so pretty. I leaned forward and kissed her, out of nowhere.

"Where did that come from?"

"Just felt like kissing you."

"Well, by all means, have at it."

And I did. A couple of times, feeling her grin beneath my lips.

"Love you," I whispered, staring down into her eyes.

"Love you, too, Handsome."

She took my hand and we walked a little further. "What does my gut tell me about what?"

"Oh, about Quinn or Rutgers?"

She pursed her lips and looked around, as if taking in the tree- and flower-lined paths and the cool buildings would give her the answers.

"I honestly don't know, Edward. I mean, when I'm standing here, I feel like this could be awesome. That I could really thrive here. But when I was at Rutgers, I sort of felt the same way."

I nodded, looking around, too. "I can see that. There's definitely something cool about being on campus. The possibilities feel endless."

She was nodding her head, and I wondered what was going through her mind. I imagined she was trying to picture herself walking across campus, her bag slung across her shoulder, or maybe sitting in one of the green areas holding some sort of discussion group.

I didn't press her further on the issue. I knew when the calls came in – and I fully believed they would – we would make a decision that was the right one for us. Wherever we ended up, we'd figure things out and find our way. Together.

* * *

><p>Thanks so much! We are in the homestretch people. I shooting to wrap this pretty quickly from here. Thanks for hanging with me and leaving all sorts of love and kind words in your reviews. They make me smile and go to my happy place. xoxo<p> 


	61. Chapter 61: Leap, Heap

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. As always, thanks to mycrookedsmile. xoxo

**Word Prompt: leap, heap**

**Thursday, 17 May**

* * *

><p>I was packing my things when my phone rang. I glanced at my desk and saw it was my mom. I scrunched my face, knowing my mom was about to ream me for not calling her after my weekend with Bella.<p>

"Hey, Mom," I said gingerly, my phone barely to my ear for fear she might start yelling.

"Don't, 'Hey, Mom,' me, Edward Anthony Cullen. Why haven't you called me?"

I could hear the frustration in her voice, but there was also a hint of something else – laughter, maybe? – just below the surface.

"Sorry. Things didn't quite go according to pl-"

"What! She said 'Yes' right?" she asked, interrupting.

Laughing, I quickly eased her fears and pressed on. "Of course, she said yes. But it was more spontaneous than I had originally planned."

"Oh, yeah?"

I told her the story about Bella's fears and me knowing I needed to ease them, help her see I wanted to, as Em said, "make an honest woman" out of her. I told her how Bella had cried, how I almost had, too, and that she looked so beautiful with my ring on her finger.

"I can't get over it, Mom. I mean, I didn't have any real fear that she'd say no, but the fact that she actually said yes… I'm still blown away."

"You're a lucky man, Son. There's no doubt. But so is she. When do we get to see her?"

"Well, we're waiting-" I paused as I heard my phone beep. I glanced at the screen and saw it was Bella. I would call her back in a few minutes.

"Waiting on?" my mom prodded.

"Sorry, that was Bella on the other line."

"Do you need to call me back?"

"No. I'll call her when we get done. Anyway, we're waiting to hear back from both Quinnipiac University in Connecticut and Rutgers in New Jersey. Once we know where she's going to end up, I'm going to be flying to Seattle, and then we're going to drive her car and some of her stuff that she doesn't want the movers to handle back to my place here. I was thinking we could stop in Chicago on the way."

"That sounds fun. We would love to have you. Just let us know when you…"

My mom kept talking as my phone beeped again. I looked and saw it was Bella again. My stomach fluttered.

"Mom," I said, cutting her off. "I'm sorry, Bella just called again. Do you mind if I call you back? It might be her with some news from one of the schools."

"Oh goodness. Go. Call me later."

"Love you." I didn't even wait for her to respond before I clicked over. The line was dead, so I hung up and quickly dialed Bella's number.

It rang and rang and then went to voicemail.

_Shit._

I sat down and decided to wait, hoping our lines had gotten crossed and that she was dialing me. After about five minutes, I tried again. The phone line clicked but it was silent on the other end.

"Bella?"

I heard her sniffle. "Love? Are you okay?" Worry coursed through my veins. I had no idea what was wrong, but it didn't sound good.

"Hey," she said so quietly I almost missed it.

"Bella, Love, what's going on? Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

She sniffled again. "I didn't get the job." Her voice was hoarse, and I could tell she had been crying for a while. I cursed myself for not having taken her call the first time it had beeped. I took a deep breath. I needed to stay calm and draw it out of her.

"Tell me what happened, Pretty girl," I said in my softest, most soothing voice.

I could hear the muffled sound of her sniffles, and the need to be there, to touch her and hold her blossomed in my chest. It was like the weight of the world had just been heaped onto my shoulders, making it hard to breathe.

I heard her take a deep, ragged breath, and that awful feeling inside me only increased. "The director from Quinn called." She paused. "He said… they really liked what I had to offer but they had decided to go with another professor who they felt was a better fit for the department and the university."

I sagged against the back of my chair. I wasn't even sure what to say. "I'm so sorry, Bella." I wanted to ask if she'd heard from Rutgers, but the answer seemed obvious. Asking how she was feeling would be stupid, and it was obvious, too.

"I love you. I'm so sorry."

"I know," she said in a small, quiet voice.

The line was silent, and it was so damn awful. I clenched my first, frustration and helplessness overwhelming me.

"I wish I was with you, Love. I hate that I'm not."

"Me, too," she whispered, her voice broken and watery, and I knew she was crying again.

Something inside me clicked. Maybe it was the weird sense of guilt I felt that she was going through all of this because of me or maybe it was how broken she sounded, but I knew immediately I couldn't stay here while she was across the country from me, sad and hurting. I leaped out of my chair and over to my door, quickly pulled it open, and put my hand over my phone.

"Marsha, I need the next available flight to Seattle. I don't care how much it costs." I dug inside my pocket for my wallet and gave her my personal credit card.

"Okaaay," she said, her eyes wide and worried.

"Bella, I'm booking a flight now. I'll be there tonight."

"Don't do that, Edward. It's…"

"I'm coming. We're a team, remember?"

"Yeah, I just…"

A few minutes later, Marsha walked in and handed me a sheet of paper with a proposed itinerary. I scanned it quickly and nodded my head, whispering a quick thanks to her as she left to book the flights.

"I'll be at your place around eleven tonight. There's a flight from Newark tonight at seven-thirty."

"Okay."

"Bella, I love you. More than anything," I said as I shut my laptop down and threw it in my bag, along with a handful of files I would need. "I hate that this happened, and I'm just… I'm sorry, Pretty girl.

"I love you, too. I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

I stopped what I was doing and stood frozen in the middle of my office. "You are not a mess. I knew you preferred Quinn, and after our weekend there, I can't say I blame you. Have you… have you heard anything from Rutgers?"

"No."

I scrubbed my hand through my hair and took a deep breath. I remembered her saying it would probably be next week before she heard back from them. I didn't want to think about what would happen if they chose someone else. The idea of spending any more time apart from her was simply unfathomable, and I decided I would place a call to Ben once I got on the road to Newark to talk again about any potential openings in Seattle. I wanted to have a backup plan.

"Okay, well, don't worry. Everything is going to work out, Love. I know it will."

She huffed. "How can you know that? I was sure I'd get the offer from Quinn. The interview went so well. There was nothing awkward or weird, and it felt like a sure thing! What if Rutgers doesn't pan out? What if we have to stay apart for longer?" I could hear her voice rising, moving from one octave to another. She was about to flip out. I'd never seen her this upset… well, that's not true. But I wasn't willing to go there or even begin to rehash that awful night at her apartment.

"Bella, stop," I said, my voice firm and surer than I felt. "Everything will work out, even if it's not the way we planned. Do not give up on us. Just… don't."

After a second or two, she said, "I'm sorry. You're right."

"Damn straight, I'm right, Pretty girl. Even if I have to move to Seattle and work virtually or go kick some ass at Rutgers, I will."

That earned me a giggle, and some of the weight I'd felt earlier lifted. "I need to get off here and run home and make the drive to Newark. Will you be okay for the next few hours? Can you call Angie or Jake or something?"

"I think I'll be fine. I'm going to go home after my next class, take a long hot bath, and wait for you to get here."

"Okay. Just… if you need something, I don't know. Just call Angie, okay?"

I didn't want her to be alone if she got upset again, but I also knew she had been taking care of herself for a long time. She didn't need me to swoop in and try to fix everything. I hoped she didn't feel that way.

"Bella, it's okay if I come, right?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"I just didn't want you to think _I_ didn't think you couldn't handle this. I know you can. But I hate being away from you, especially in moments like this…"

"I want you here, Handsome. And I'm grateful you can come on such short notice."

"Me, too. I love you. I'll call you before I board."

"Love you, too. Thank you."

"Always."

Marsha came in with my itinerary neatly packaged just as I hung up. "Thanks, Marsha. I really appreciate you're help. I won't be in the office tomorrow, but I'll be online if you need me."

"No problem. I'll make sure people know. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, just some really disappointing news. I need to get to Seattle to be with Bella." I'd told a handful of people I'd gotten engaged, and everyone was really excited.

"Oh, dear. Well, if you need anything more, just let me know."

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

Two hours later I arrived and parked at the Newark airport. I grabbed my stuff, checked in, and sat in the terminal, waiting for my flight.

~*WS*~

The wheels of the plane touched down with a rough jolt. The entire flight had been rough as hell. I was exhausted and ready to get off the plane. I turned on my phone and quickly sent Bella a text telling her I'd arrived.

A little while later, I pulled into her driveway, and before I could get out of the car, Bella had jerked open her front door and was flying down her front steps. I scrambled out of the car just as she threw herself into my arms, her tears already falling.

As I held her close, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I'd made the right decision. She was my life, and there was nothing – not even three thousand miles – that was going to keep me from her when she needed me.

* * *

><p>I will do my absolute best to get a chapter to you tomorrow, but it depends how far I get tonight. I have my first wedding cupcake order to make for Saturday. So, I'll be hands deeps in batter and icing and all things sweet most of Friday! Wish me luck! xoxo<p> 


	62. Chapter 62: Impression

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. _  
><em>  
><strong>Word Prompt: Impression<strong>

**Thursday, 17 May**

* * *

><p><em>The wheels of the plane touched down with a rough jolt. The entire flight had been rough as hell. I was exhausted and ready to get off the plane. I turned on my phone and quickly sent Bella a text telling her I'd arrived.<em>

_A little while later, I pulled into her driveway, and before I could get out of the car, Bella had jerked open her front door and was flying down her front steps. I scrambled out of the car just as she threw herself into my arms, her tears already falling._

_As I held her close, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I'd made the right decision. She was my life, and there was nothing – not even three thousand miles – that was going to keep me from her when she needed me._

"You're here," she whispered, her voice muffled against my shoulder.

I squeezed her tighter, burying my face in her hair and breathing her sweet smell. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

We stood there another second or two before we pulled apart. I looked down at her in awe, as always, of how beautiful she was. I cupped her cheek in my palm, and she leaned in, her eyes fluttering closed as she smiled contentedly.

"I love you, Bella."

She looked at me, and I could see the moisture pooling in her eyes as she straightened. "I love you, too. I'm so glad you're here."

I leaned forward and kissed her. "Me, too. Should we go inside?"

~*WS*~

"So, tell me what happened," I said as I pulled her against me on the couch. We'd spent the last half hour getting me settled in. We'd both changed into our sleep clothes and were snuggled up on the couch, mugs of hot chocolate in hand.

"I got the call just before I tried calling you. I told you everything they said. Basically they liked what I had to offer but thought one of the other candidates would be a better fit for the school and department."

I frowned. "That sucks."

She nodded and looked down, her finger tracing the edge of the mug. "It does. I'm not naïve enough to think I was a shoe-in. Not there or Rutgers for that matter, but I don't know… I just got the impression that things really clicked in my interview." She looked up and over at me, smiling sadly.

I squeezed her side. "I know what you mean. But based on what they said, I'm not sure your impression was off base. It sounds like they really liked you. Them choosing someone else isn't really a slam against you."

She pooched out her lips and sort of blew out. She looked like a platypus, and I chuckled as I pushed my fingers against her lips. "You're cute."

She scowled and swatted my hand away. "Shut up." We both sat silently sipping our hot chocolate. "I know you're right. It's not a slam or anything. I guess I just…" She sighed a quick short huff.

"What?"

"I really wanted to work there."

That wasn't exactly news to me. I knew she did. I'd asked her where she wanted to work while we were in Connecticut, if she had a preference, and she'd said she was open, but I'd heard the undercurrent of hope and longing in her voice. Even I had gotten caught up in daydreaming about the possibility of moving there, creating a new life with her as we both started fresh.

I hugged her a little closer and kissed the top of her head. "I know," I said against her hair. "Still nothing from Rutgers?"

"Not since you asked me earlier today," she said, an air of annoyance and sarcasm in her voice.

I didn't take the bait. We were both tired and emotional, and I knew she didn't mean anything by it. "I didn't figure you had. I guess we'll just wait and see what happens and go from there." I'd spent a fair amount of time on the plane thinking through the possibility of her not getting the position at Rutgers. Both Quinn and Rutgers were good schools, and they would most definitely look for the best fit; in my bias, I hadn't really given much thought to Bella not being _the_ ideal candidate. In my mind, she was an amazing professor, and while that may have been, she also had to be right for the university.

I was lost in my thoughts when Bella shifted, placed her mug on the coffee table, and faced me. I could see the intensity in her eyes and knew something was coming. I set my mug down.

"What if I don't get the job at Rutgers?" she asked. There was an edge to her voice, and I knew I needed to tread lightly. I had no desire to talk to her about my conversation with Ben on the way to Newark. When I'd asked him to think again about options in Seattle, he pretty much shut me down. I wasn't surprised, per se, but it still sucked that the door had effectively been closed – twice.

I took a deep breath and put my hands in my lap. "Honestly, I'm not sure. I guess I would probably start looking for a job with a different company out this way. There are a few other pharmaceutical companies and research labs out here. In truth, I should have already started looking, but I haven't. I'm sorry about that."

"Don't apologize. I didn't ask to make you feel guilty. I was just curious."

"Okay. But… can I ask you a question?"

She nodded. "Of course."

"Do you want to work at Rutgers?" When we'd talked in Connecticut, she had waffled, giving pros and cons to both. While I could tell she liked the small community feel Quinn offered, she had also really seemed to appreciate the options that a school the size of Rutgers had to offer.

"Ye-"

"Wait," I said, holding up my hand. "Before you answer that, let me rephrase my question. Do you want to work at Rutgers for reasons beyond it being the simple solution? Do you like the university? Do you think it'll be a good fit? That it'll be a place you can thrive and excel and grow professionally?"

If she came back with a 'No' to any of those questions, I was going to pull the plug. I had made a promise to Charlie, and her happiness was more important than taking the easy route just to bring us closer to each other.

She looked at me, really studied me, probably trying to gauge where I was going with my question. Finally, she smiled. "Yes. To all the above. My being sad about Quinn is not really a reflection of me not wanting to work at Rutgers. It's a great school. Yes, it'll have a lot to offer, and I do believe I can find a little place to call my own there." She paused. I waited. And then her face softened.

"And it wouldn't be the easy solution. I mean, yes, in some ways it would because you're already there, but I wouldn't call it settling. My disappointment over Quinn is really about feeling rejected, and I just wasn't expecting it." Her voice had gotten quieter, and I could she was fading fast.

"Come here," I said, tugging on her arm until she was sitting in my lap, her head against my chest. "It's okay to be disappointed, Love. I am for you."

At that, I felt her shudder and a sob break loose. I held her while she cried softly, my lips pressed against the top of her head as she let the rejection and frustration and stress melt away. Long after she'd fallen asleep in my arms and I'd carried her to her room, I realized that she had been bearing most of the burden – the job search, moving, having to say goodbye to her closest friends – and regret welled up inside, even though I wasn't sure what else I could do except wait and be supportive.

As I drifted to sleep, I decided to spend the next few days doing everything I could to take her mind off the sting of Quinn's rejection and the stress of Rutgers' forthcoming decision. It was time to pamper and love on my pretty girl.

* * *

><p>Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews and words of encouragement. The wedding went really well, and the cupcakes turned out great! Here's a pic of the final tower, if you care to see it. http :  twitpic . com/8rmbr7

How do you like to be pampered when you're stressed and sad?


	63. Chapter 63: Beam

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. _  
><em>  
><strong>Word Prompt: Beam<strong>

**Sunday, 20 May (in the early morning hours)**

* * *

><p>I stared at the ceiling, tired but unable to sleep. I didn't have to look at the clock on the bedside table to know it was late or early, however you wanted to look at it. My mind was whirring with the weight of possibility and the heaviness of yet another looming goodbye. Bella and I had had a great weekend, and like always, it had flown by as time often does when you want it to stand still.<p>

She shifted against me, nestling a little closer, almost like she knew I needed the comfort of her touch. She looked peaceful, all the worry and stress from Thursday and all the weeks of planning erased by some down time. I'd called in sick on Friday morning and spent the better part of the morning scheduling a little time at the spa for her on Saturday and then researching Seattle-based pharmaceutical companies and medical research labs. As it turned out, there were actually a lot of them, and I still wanted to kick myself for not looking before then. There weren't many openings for positions with my experience and qualifications, but I'd found two that looked promising. I'd made a note of them and then spent a good couple hours researching those two companies while Bella wrapped up her classes at UW.

When she'd come home, I'd whisked her away for a late lunch and then an afternoon hike near the Sound. It was low key and relaxing, exactly what I'd wanted to give her. That evening, we'd curled up on the couch to watch a movie with takeout and wine. We never got to the movie.

Saturday, I'd sent Bella to the spa for a massage, facial, and a pedicure. She protested at being apart, but I told her it was just my way of taking care of her and as her fiancé she had to let me do it. Eventually, she smiled that beaming smile I loved so much, and relented.

While she was gone, I drove over to the two facilities I'd researched. There wasn't really much to be gained from looking at the buildings, but for whatever reason, I wanted to have a visual in my mind when I got back to Princeton and put in my applications. I also gave some thought to talking to Ben again. Yes, he'd closed the door on the Seattle option, but that was before I had given much thought to leaving the company. It wasn't like I wanted to threaten him, but I wasn't sure he understood how serious things were. If Bella didn't get the position at Rutgers, then I would do whatever it took to close the distance. If that meant quitting and finding a job with a different company, I would.

I hadn't decided whether or not to tell Bella as I drove to the spa to pick her. On one hand I wanted to keep it to myself, not wanting to get her hopes up only to see them dashed if neither option panned out, but when I picked her up and saw the way she smiled and looked so happy, so trusting, I knew I had to tell her. We were partners – teammates – and knew I didn't really have an option.

After we'd been seated and placed our lunch orders, I'd told her.

"_So, I want to run something by you," I said hesitantly._

_She set her fork down and looked up at me, chewing the remainder of her food slowly. "Okay," she said, drawing out the word, unsure where I was going with the conversation._

"_After Thursday I realized just how much pressure I've put on you, all inadvertent but there, nonetheless, to find a job near me. That was never my intention, and I know you know that. But I hate the idea of you bearing everything on your shoulders. It shouldn't be that way. _

"_I told you from the beginning that I didn't care where we ended up as long as we were together. That's still true, and I should have been doing more along the way. So, I spent part of Friday morning doing some research on local companies to see what other options I could find." _

_She opened her mouth to speak, but I held up my hand to stop her. _

"_And no, this is not about Quinn. It's about keeping our options open, regardless of what happens with Rutgers. And it's about fairness, about me doing what I should have done a while ago. I'm sorry I didn't and that I'm just now getting my ass in gear to find a different option, if the others don't pan out."_

"_You don't need to do that, Edward. Like you said, it will work out."_

"_It will work out. I have no doubt about that," I said, smiling tenderly at her as I rested my hand on top of hers. "But I don't want the weight of it all to rest on your shoulders. There's no reason I can't look into other options right here in Seattle. And as it turns out, there are several really good companies, two of which have openings that could be promising._

"_I actually drove over to each of the facilities while you were at the spa, just to check them out. When I get back to Princeton, I'm going to sit down, figure out what they're actually looking for, and submit my application through their online systems. I'm also going to talk to Ben one more time. Maybe the thought of me leaving will give him a little incentive to see what more he can do."_

_I sat back in my chair, feeling the tension I didn't even realize I'd been carrying around melt away, and waited. If there was one thing I had learned long ago about Bella, it was that she was predictable. Not in a bad, monotonous way, but in a way that gave me the freedom to sit in silence without feeling anxious. She was a thinker and a processor, and I knew she'd have stuff to say._

_She picked up her iced tea and took a sip and then carefully set it back down. "I can't believe you did all that," she said, finally. "I'm a little surprised, but I don't guess I should be. You've been amazing at taking care of things, anticipating what I need, and this… well, it definitely helps._

"_I hope you know, though, that if I get the position at Rutgers I'm going to take it. I did some thinking of my own while I was being pampered," she said with a grin. "And while I am upset about Quinn, I realized it has more to do with the fact that I am desperate to get on the same side of the country as you. Yes, I would have enjoyed working at Quinn; it would probably have been a great learning experience for me, but so would Rutgers. And like you pointed out, I did tell you how I was excited and looking forward to changing things up and seeing what kind of damage I could do there."_

_I laughed, and so did she. It was freeing and perfect and reminded me why I loved her so damn much. She was level-headed and understand, but more than that, she was forgiving and open to what might come. And thank God for that, because if she hadn't, there's no way in hell I'd be engaged to marry the love of my life._

_We ate, chatting about her spa appointment and other random things. As I watched her lips wrap around her fork, I decided we needed to hurry the hell up and get back to her place. _

_I extended my legs beneath the table, brushing her ankle in the process, and I smirked as her head jerked up. "You up for a little fun?"_

_Her eyebrows shot up. I couldn't fully read her expression, but her grin pretty much gave me the answer I wanted._

"_Good. Because for the rest of the afternoon and evening, I plan to make you forget all about the craziness we've been dealing with. Now, eat up. You're going to need your energy."_

And boy did she, because after the way she'd teased the hell out of me on the car ride home, I'd fucked her against the front door and then took my time loving her properly in the shower. Tired and perfectly content to stay in, we ordered out again and then spent the rest of the evening watching the movie we never got to the night before.

Bella mumbled something unintelligible and then sighed. I looked at my pretty girl, her face sleep soft and so damn beautiful. I lightly brushed a finger across her cheek and then down her nose, grinning at the way her nose scrunched a bit at the unwanted sensation. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to her. I wasn't ready to walk away and leave our fate in the hands of others, and yet, that was exactly what I was going to do later that evening.

I rolled onto my side and snuggled against her. Sleep still seemed far off, but if nothing else, I could spend the time holding her, knowing and loving the fact she was going to be my wife and that eventually all the craziness would be behind us.

* * *

><p>Thanks for all the fun pampering ideas! I think I got through all the review replies. I love your words, guys. Thanks for telling me what you think and hope happens! Love you all!<p> 


	64. Chapter 64: Swimming Against the Tide

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. _  
><em>  
><strong>Plot Generator: Swimming against the tide<strong>

**Thursday, 24 May**

* * *

><p>I took a deep breath and stood up, the folder containing all the information I'd need for my conversation with Ben in hand. I was anxious as hell. He wasn't going to be happy that I was bringing up Seattle again, but I really didn't have much choice. As rough as the conversation was going to be, I wanted to be honest with him. I'd always been a straight shooter, and we had a great working relationship.<p>

After I'd left Bella's on Sunday night, I'd spent the better part of Monday and Tuesday evening working on my resume. It had been a while since I'd had to think about quantifying my work, and it had taken longer than I'd originally expected to get it all down on paper and then formatted. I'd even gone so far as to tailor each one, highlighting key elements of my work or educational experience to stand out a bit more. It had paid off because I had gotten a call on Wednesday from one of the companies, albeit the less promising of the two, asking to set up a phone interview for early next week.

I was surprised. Bella was thrilled. Of course, neither of us wanted to get our hopes up; our whole relationship it seemed had been about us fighting to be together, working through obstacles, but with other irons still in the fire, the relief on her end was palpable… even through the phone.

Marsha popped her head into my office. "Ben's ready."

"Thanks," I said. I flipped through my file one last time and then walked down the hall to his office.

After the normal chitchat and status updates, I decided to dive right in.

"So, as you know, Bella and I have been trying to figure out where to live. She's currently in Seattle at UW and is waiting to hear back from Rutgers."

He was nodding and then stopped. "What about the school in Connecticut?"

I frowned. "Unfortunately, they chose another candidate. Which is what I'd like to talk with you about."

"Okay." I could hear the hesitation and question in his voice, and I knew there was no doubt what I was about to tell him was going to catch him by surprise.

"Well, as I said, Bella is still waiting to hear from Rutgers, and if she gets the position there, assuming all the little details get worked out, she'll definitely accept. But after seeing the stress and pressure she's been under to get a new professorship and that Connecticut is no longer an option, I decided I needed to do a little bit more." I paused, trying to gauge his reaction. He seemed more curious than anything.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Ben, we go back a ways and have always had a great working relationship. I'm telling you this as a professional courtesy, and because I don't want it to catch you off guard if this does end up happening."

He furrowed his brow and looked at me, and even though I hadn't actually said anything, I think he knew.

"Go on."

I pursed my lips and laid out my plan. I told him about the research I'd done, the places to which I'd applied, and that I had an interview the following week. I told him my preference was to stay with the company, but if things didn't work out with Rutgers and the other job came through, I wouldn't hesitate to take it.

"The distance is a pain in the ass, and neither of us want to get married while we're apart. If she needs to stay in Seattle, then that's where I need to be, too."

At some point during my run down, he'd sat back in his chair, his elbows resting on the armrest and his fingertips pressed into a 'V' just beneath his chin. He narrowed his eyes, studying me. Maybe he was trying to see how serious I was, if this was real, or maybe not.

Regardless, he leaned forward and said, "Well, I can't say I blame you. I wouldn't want the distance either. I know I told you Seattle was off the table for us, and I'll be frank, it probably still is. The office, as you well know, is small, and there isn't a lot of room for expansion. With that said, do me a favor."

"What is that?"

"Before you make any final decisions, just come talk to me. I'll talk to Eric and Graham and see if there is anything more we can do. You're one of our best research leads, Edward, and we don't want to lose you."

I nodded, appreciating the effort and the compliment. "Thanks. I appreciate you saying that. Like I said, it's not my preference, but I need to keep my options open. If we can make something work in Seattle, as a last resort, then I'd love to hear about it."

We wrapped up the conversation a short while later. I could tell he was anxious to get on the phone with the guys, and I was ready to get home, change, and then head out to meet the guys for pizza and beer. It had been a while since we'd gotten together, and I was anxious to catch up.

As I made my way back to my office, I got waylaid by Jeb. He wanted to discuss a weird set of test results. It turned out the work he'd been doing on the Hep C study was yielding promising results. I asked him to dig a little deeper into the latest set of findings, change some of the testers, and run it all again.

By the time I got back to my office and shut down, it was well after five-thirty. I was supposed to be at the bar at six, and I still needed to get home. I picked up my phone to call Emmett when I noticed I'd missed four calls and had two texts – all from Bella.

**IS: Tried calling. Please call me back. **_3:04_

**IS: Please call me! **_4:58_

I didn't bother listening to the voicemails. I did, however, note that they were all within the span of about fifteen minutes. I quickly dialed her number but got no answer. I hung up and tried again, feeling a prickle of worry run its icy cold hands down my back. Nothing.

"Shit!"

I listened to her voicemails.

_3:02 "Edward, call me!"_

_3:05 "Please call me. I really need to talk to you."_

_3:38 "Edward, seriously. Call me."_

There was no message on the last call, but I saw it was at 4:22. She didn't seem overly upset, but then again, it was hard to tell over the phone, much less voicemail.

I tried her again, but she didn't answer. I decided to pack up and head home. I couldn't stand waiting around. If it was bad news, then I wanted to be some place private.

The drive home was long, much longer than it should have been. At least that's the way it felt. At some point, I shot off a text to Emmett telling him I was going to be late. By 6:20, I still hadn't heard from her, and I was starting to get really anxious.

I thought about the last time I'd gotten a series of voicemails and texts like that, and I prayed that she hadn't gotten another rejection. When I'd left on Sunday, she had been in a much better place. We'd talked through pretty much everything, and I knew whatever came, we'd face it together. But the idea of her not getting the position at Rutgers… well, I really didn't want to think about it. For her. For me. For us. It would just suck all around.

The waiting became too much. I left for the bar, and just as I pulled into the parking lot my phone rang. Her name and her bright, smiling face popped on the screen. Relief washed over me.

I took a deep, steely breath. "Hey, Love," I said as I answered the phone, pushing aside my fear and hoping beyond hope for the best.


	65. Chapter 65: Toy

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

_Huge thanks to jennde for looking over this not once, but twice. She also fixed my grammar fail and is just generally made of win!  
><em>  
><strong>Word Prompt: Toy<strong>

**Thursday, 24 May**

* * *

><p><em>I thought about the last time I'd gotten a series of voicemails and texts like that, and I prayed that she hadn't gotten another rejection. When I'd left on Sunday, she had been in a much better place. We'd talked through pretty much everything, and I knew whatever came, we'd face it together. But the idea of her not getting the position at Rutgers… well, I really didn't want to think about it. For her. For me. For us. It would just suck all around.<em>

_The waiting became too much. I left for the bar, and just as I pulled into the parking lot my phone rang. Her name and her bright, smiling face popped on the screen. Relief washed over me._

_I took a deep, steely breath. "Hey, love," I said as I answered the phone, pushing aside my fear and hoping beyond hope for the best._

"Edward, God I'm so glad you finally answered," she said, her voice tense as a rush of words poured out.

"What's going on? Is everything okay?" I asked. I was white-knuckling the steering wheel and barely managed to get the car parked and turned off.

"I guess it's okay," she said. Her voice was all soft and weird. I'd never heard her sound like that, and it was really starting to freak me out.

"Talk to me. What the hell is going on? Are you hurt?"

"No, it's just…"

I waited, my heart pounding with every passing second.

"I heard from Rutgers."

_Fuck. _

There was no excitement in her voice, and I fucking knew. Disappointment washed over me. I'd known it was a possibility that she wouldn't get the job, but deep down I had been banking on it. I thought about my conversation with Ben and how it was almost certainly going to result in me having to leave the company. I'd known that was a possibility, too, and had obviously been planning for it, but the reality of it was like being smacked in the face.

I realized she hadn't said anything, and I wasn't even sure how long I'd been quiet.

"I'm sorry, love. I know you wanted the-"

"I got the job, silly!" she cried out, interrupting me, and then busted out laughed.

_What?_

"Wait, what?"

"I was just messing with you. I totally got the job at Rutgers!" she said excitedly. She kept talking, but I was still stuck on the solemnity of her voice earlier, all the frantic phone calls and texts, and my own panic and frustration at not being able to reach her.

"Wait. Just… just stop. You got the job?" I asked incredulously.

"Haven't you been listening? Yes, I got the job! In fact, I spent a good deal of the afternoon working out the details with them and then had class, which-"

"What the fuck, Bella?" I exploded, completely cutting her off. "Why would you do that?"

The line went silent. "What?"

"Ugh," I growled. "That was just…"

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice small and unsure. "I was just so excited and feeling feisty, and I thought-"

"Thought what? That it would be funny to make me think you _didn't_ get the job? Do you know how worried I've been since I got your calls and texts? How I've been trying to reach you ever since?" I demanded, anger and relief and frustration rushing through my like a bull after a red flag.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to upset you. I just thought it would be funny…"

"Funny?" I scoffed. "Ha, ha, Bella. Really fucking funny," I said and hung up the phone.

I couldn't believe her. Of all the things to joke around about, she'd chosen the one thing that had been the source of all the stress and tension between us, on us, for the last I didn't even know how many months.

Not fucking funny. Not fucking _funny _at all.

I tried to calm down, but I was so keyed up. My heart was racing, and every muscles in my back and neck felt tight.

It really fucking hurt that she thought it would be funny to toy with me like that, especially after I'd dropped everything to fly to Seattle to be with her after all the stuff with Quinn.

I shook my head and then slammed my hand down on the steering wheel. "Dammit!" I shouted to no one.

My phone rang, but I sent it to voicemail. I knew it was her, but I wasn't ready to talk.

The silence in the car was thick and heavy, like a wet blanket, and I had to get out of there. I thought about going home but didn't want to be alone. I decided to go ahead and join the guys. At least some beer would help clear my mind, and I knew I wouldn't have to say much.

My phone beeped as a text came through.

**IS: I'm really sorry, Edward. Please call me. **

I stared at her words and felt a little of the tension dissolve. Not enough to talk to her, but enough to at least respond.

**EC: I need some time to cool down. Will call later. **

With that, I turned off my phone and went inside to join the guys.

Three beers later, James looked pointedly at me and said, "Ready to tell us what the hell is going on?"

"Nothing," I grumbled. I really didn't want to get into it with him.

"We know there's something going on. You've had almost four beers in less than an hour, barely said a word, and hardly touched the pizza," Emmett added.

"Just something with me and Bella. I don't really want to talk about it, okay?"

Emmett and James both looked at me and then each other, before they leaned back in their chairs, picked up their beers, and turned back to the game.

I spent the next half hour brooding, making random small talk with the guys – they'd given me a wide berth, both recognizing the funk I was in – and drinking the rest of my beer plus one more. As I watched the players on the screen round the bases, I thought about what had happened. I was still upset over Bella's little joke. For many reasons, but mostly because I felt like she'd taken what should have been a happy, amazing moment and turned it into something tinged with sadness.

One minute I hadn't been able to reach her. The next, there she was.

Then I thought she hadn't gotten the job. But she really had.

Rutgers wanted her, and she was actually coming. To Princeton.

Holy shit!

When James left to go to the bathroom, Emmett turned toward me, took a sip of beer, and then asked what had happened. I still didn't want to talk about it, but I figured I needed to get some of it out of my system. I still needed to call her tonight, and I didn't want to be upset – anymore than I already was – when I did that.

"Well, Bella got the job at Rutgers," I said, tipping my bottle up in a mock salute.

Emmett furrowed his brow and frowned. "Um… so why aren't we doing shots to celebrate?" he asked as he lifted his hand to flag a server down.

"Because she fucking acted like she didn't get the job and then was all like 'Surprise! Yeah I did.'"

"Okaaay," Emmett said, dragging it out into a question.

"What?"

"Well, not that I'm siding with her or anything, but maybe she was just excited or something. Maybe she thought it would be funny."

"It wasn't."

Emmett pursed his lips and nodded, but I could tell there was something more he was about to say.

"Just fucking say it," I snapped.

"You're being a dick and whiner."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes. You are."

I scowled and took a sip of my beer. I wasn't being a dick or a whiner.

"Look, I'm just going to put this out there. Maybe Bella's choice of delivery wasn't great, but put that shit aside and be happy. She's fucking moving here, man. Isn't that what you've wanted for the last who knows how long?"

He had a point. In my anger, I hadn't really given much thought to what it all actually meant. For so long, I had put off thinking about the reality of us actually being together, and with it looming on the horizon it was almost too much to take.

She was actually coming. My girl was quitting her job, moving across the country, to live with me. To marry me.

After everything we'd been through, it was all coming together, and I was freaking out. And I'd freaked out on her.

I _was_ a dick and whiner. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Does she know you're mad at her?" he asked, interrupting my thoughts.

I nodded and swallowed the lump that had begun to form in my throat. She was probably really upset, and I'd given her the silent treatment for almost two hours. I pulled out my phone and turned it back on. After it came to life I saw she'd sent a reply to my hastily typed out text.

**IS: Okay. I'm really sorry, Edward. Please call me later. No matter what time. I love you.**

It didn't take a rocket scientist to read the emotion behind the black letters on my screen, and regret, that awful sick feeling that made everything inside feel all out of sorts, settled in the pit of my stomach.

"I need to go," I said as I stood up. I reached for my wallet, but Emmett waved it away.

"You okay to drive?" he asked, eying the bottles on the table.

I nodded and turned to walk away when he put his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm excited things are finally coming together," Emmett said.

"Thanks," I mumbled and walked out. I passed James on the way out and told him I'd talk to him later.

I drove in silence, dwelling again on how everything had gone down. I was glad I had taken the time to cool off, but in hindsight I shouldn't have hung up on her or been so harsh.

The whole situation fucking sucked, and my reaction was… over the top.

"Ugh," I said, roughly running my hands through my hair.

By the time I got home, I was already itching to call her. I sat on the edge of my bed, phone in hand, and took a few deep breaths.

I pushed send and waited for her to pick up. She did. On the first ring.

"Edward?" she asked, her voice watery and quiet.

My stomach sank, even lower than it already was.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out just as she sniffled.

"Me, too. I'm so sorry."

We both sat in silence. I wasn't sure what to say. I hated that she had been, maybe still was, crying, that I was responsible for it, and worse that everything just felt like shit.

"So… you really got it?" I asked, trying to get her to start talking and to hopefully reclaim what should have been a really awesome moment for us.

"Yeah. I did." I could hear it there, just on the edge of her voice, and decided to run with it.

"Tell me. Please?"

She inhaled a shaky breath and told me the whole story. She started off hesitantly, but as she got into the details, I could hear the excitement coming back into her voice. And it made everything inside me feel that much better.

"… and it looks like after everything is said and done, I'll end up making more money, especially after my book release. The benefits are really good, too. Comparable, in fact, to UW…"

I stopped listening. Not because what she was saying wasn't important, but I felt this intense desire to make sure things were okay between us.

"I love you," I blurted out, cutting her off. "This all sounds amazing. I'm sorry I got so upset earlier."

She sighed. "I'm sorry, too. I never meant to upset you. I was just feeling excited and playful, and after I couldn't reach you I thought it would be funny to play a joke on you, but I realize… it was stupid."

I laughed. "Well, it definitely caught me off guard."

The quiet between wasn't tense or uncomfortable, but it wasn't fully right either.

"Things finally worked out," she said quietly.

And there it was. She was right. Everything was working out. She was really coming here, and just like at the bar, I realized how much I hadn't let myself really hope for it. "I can't believe you're actually moving here. It's… surreal."

"I know. When they first called I thought I was going to throw up. And then when they offered me the position, all I could think about was finally, finally being with you." She said the last part quietly, but it was still in that strong, confident voice of hers I loved.

"When I saw your messages, I thought the worst. And then I couldn't reach you… and well, the rest sort of sucked, but God, I love you so much, pretty girl. I can't wait to get you here."

She giggled. "Finally, I get to be 'pretty girl' again."

"You're always my 'pretty girl', even when I'm pissed."

"Well, that may be, but I love it when you say it."

All the tension, the anger, and the sadness was gone, and it was just the two of us, being silly and loving each other. Things felt right again. Well, almost right.

"So, does that mean I'm 'handsome' again?"

"What? You mean you need your ego stroked?"

"Shut it, woman," I growled playfully. "Don't make me fly all the way over there and show you what needs to be stroked."

She cackled, and I couldn't help laughing. What a rollercoaster ride the day had been.

"Trust me, _handsome_, I know what you need. Now, seriously, are we still going to road trip from Seattle to Princeton?"

"Hell yes we are. When can you be ready?" I asked, already feeling the excitement build.

We hashed through he details. She would be completely finished with all her university work by the thirteenth or fourteenth of June. I would plan to fly out that Friday to help her finish packing. We would leave on Monday or Tuesday to make the drive across the country, stopping at random places along the way.

"You know my parents are going to be ecstatic. Mom has been hounding me about you."

She giggled. "Well, I'm excited to see them again."

The conversation started to lull. I was tired and needed to get to bed.

"We're really doing this," she said after a second.

I wasn't sure if she meant the road trip or the whole rest of our lives – either way, we were.

"We really are."

"Wow. Just… wow! And then I guess we have a wedding to plan, huh?"

I laughed. "Yes, we do." Just hearing the excitement in her voice made me want her with me all the more.

A few minutes later we were still talking about the wedding, mostly just high level thoughts, but it was exciting all the same.

I yawned and told her I needed to hit the hay.

"I love you, Edward."

"Love you, too. Night, love."

"Night, handsome."

* * *

><p>And now you know. LOL I estimate we have about 3 chapters left including a little mini epi. If there's something you'd like to see in the way of an outtake, let me know. I can't promise anything, but I'll definitely consider it. Thanks for all the love!<p> 


	66. Chapter 66: Coin

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

_I apologize for the delay in getting this to you. The weekend was busy, and I had a really hard time writing this chapter. Tomorrow should be easier!  
><em>  
><strong>Word Prompt: Coin<strong>

**Wednesday, 20 June**

* * *

><p>"Do you have any coins?" Bella asked as she rifled through her bag.<p>

"Yeah," I said after reaching in my pocket and pulling out a good two dollar's worth of coins and a handful of one dollar bills. "Why?"

"Oh, I want to get a Diet Coke from the vending machine outside."

"I can get it for you." I really didn't want her walking outside the motel at night by herself.

She gave me a look that told me she could take care of herself, but I was across the room, sliding my feet in my flip flips, and out the door before she could protest much.

The evening was pleasantly cool. The drive across South Dakota and into Minnesota had been long, warm, and boring. Bella and I had plenty to talk about, but after being in the car together for three days we were both ready to be out and free.

I found the machine easily enough, got her a Diet Coke and me a regular Coke. There was nothing worthwhile about diet anything, and the aspartame tasted like shit. I looked at the vending machine next to it and decided to get us some snacks. Not that either of us needed them – we'd been eating junk for the last three days, and we still had a good amount of driving ahead of us – but I had the munchies.

Nearly five dollars later, I was heading back to the room with two sodas, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Soft Batch Cookies, and a bag of Doritos. I stopped just before our door, readjusted my load, and noticed the front tire of Bella's car was low. I'd have to get that checked before we left in the morning.

Things had been crazy since I'd arrived in Seattle late last week. We'd spent almost every waking minute packing up the few things she still needed, waiting for the movers, loading the remainder of Bella's stuff in her car, and cleaning the entire house. Jake had agreed to watch over her place until a visiting professor from Pepperdine could move in.

It was amazing how things had worked out. After Bella found out about Rutgers, we had been in a whirlwind of decision and action. She'd submitted her letter of resignation to the department chair at UW, received a very glowing recommendation from several of her colleagues, finished up her classes and submitted her grades, and worked out a deal with the university for the Pepperdine professor to rent her place for the year. We would decide whether to continue renting it or try to put it on the market. I was holding out hope that the university might purchase it for cases much like the one at hand.

When we weren't cleaning or tying up loose ends, we'd been with Jake and Angie. I couldn't have asked for better friends for Bella. They were sad to see her leave, but Bella's excitement over us finally getting to be together, the new job at Rutgers, and the promise of a reunion for the wedding was contagious. We'd spent a lot of time laughing, drinking, and eating, and when we'd said goodbye to them both late on Sunday night, we were all in a good place.

Monday morning had dawned bright and early, and after quick showers and an even faster breakfast we were on our way. After a little bit of chit chat, Bella had sort of lost herself in the passing scenery. Part of me had wanted to try and draw her out, but I knew it was her way of saying goodbye to that chapter of her life. I'd settled for placing my hand on top of hers and waited until she was ready to talk again. A little while later, she'd twisted her fingers between mine and looked over at me, her head resting on the headrest, and smiled.

Late that afternoon, we'd stumbled upon a resort in Lolo National Forest. The views of the Bitterroot Mountains and the river had been absolutely stunning, and after a long day in the car, the idea of walking and stretching our legs on the nearby trails had been exactly what we'd needed. The hot tub attached to our room, of which we'd made very good use, had been icing on the cake.

From there we'd pushed through to South Dakota. The drive had been long and tedious, and by the time we'd pulled into Keystone, we were both exhausted. After eating a low key dinner, we'd decided to sleep in and spend part of the morning checking out Mt. Rushmore. As we had both heard, it was sort of a let down, but we'd had fun nonetheless.

Another long day of driving had resulted in us stopping in the small junction town of Albert Lea, Minnesota. We would be departing the next day to head to my parents' place in Chicago, and I was excited to finally be home. Well, as home as Chicago was.

I tapped my foot against the door and waited for Bella to open the door. When she did she, her eyes widened in surprise as she took in all the goodies I'd bought.

"Munchies?" she asked with a smirk.

Sue me. We'd worked up an appetite after dinner, and I wanted a little late night snack. I rolled my eyes and walked inside the room, dropping everything on the bed closest to the door. After kicking off my shoes, shedding my jeans for my sleep pants, and grabbing all my goodies, I flopped on the bed we were sharing.

"I'll take the Reese's," Bella said, holding her hand out.

"Uh, nice try, sweet girl, but those bad boys are mine." I pulled the package away from her and started to open it.

She got this stupid, sad look on her face, and I caved. Of course, I caved. I was such a sucker.

I slid one out of the sleeve and handed her the package. "Here."

"Really?" she asked all smiles and silly. Oh, she knew what she was doing.

"Don't even pretend you're surprised," I said, leaning over and kissing the corner of her mouth.

She didn't even bat an eye. Yeah, she _definitely _knew she owned me.

We ended up watching a movie and eating all our snacks, but about halfway through, I realized we were both drooping.

"Ready for bed?" I asked.

She yawned. "Yeah, I am. I want to be well rested for tomorrow."

I stopped fluffing my pillow and looked over at her. "What do you mean?"

She wasn't really looking at me as she fidgeted with the edge of the blanket she was about to turn down. "Well, I just want to be at my best when I see your parents again."

I was surprised. She hadn't said a word up to that point about being nervous or even remotely concerned about seeing my parents. When they'd met her ten years ago, they'd really liked her. My mom was already in love with her and had been since before Christmas, and my dad, well… he was happy if I was happy.

"Love." I reached over and pulled her fingers off the blanket and waited for her to look at me. I rarely saw her get all shy and quiet like that, and I didn't want it to be over something as harmless and simple as meeting my parents again. "My parents already love you. You know my mom has been hounding me for months to bring you for a visit. And how many texts have we gotten in the last three days alone?"

Subtle was _not _my mother's middle name.

"I know it's silly. I just want everything to be perfect."

"It already is," I said, running my finger down the slope of her nose and then pulling her onto the bed.

Once she was snuggled against me, my chest to her back, I buried my nose in her hair and just breathed. "Bella, I'm so glad you're going to be my wife."

I felt her entire body go slack and heard a soft sigh escape. "Me, too."

"And the next two days in Chicago are going to be fun and relaxing. There's no agenda or plan beyond getting there and hanging out. Please don't be nervous."

She twisted a bit and looked over the shoulder, that sexy sweet grin I loved spreading across her face. "You're right. Now kiss me."


	67. Chapter 67: Brace

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. Thanks to mycrookedsmile for lending her eyes._  
><em>  
><strong>Word Prompt: Brace<strong>

**Thursday, 21 June**

* * *

><p>We pulled into my parents' driveway just as the sun was beginning to set. It had been an eventful day, and after changing a flat tire – I had forgotten to get it checked before we left – and then a flying rock cracking Bella's windshield, we were glad to finally be in Chicago.<p>

I looked around the property and couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. My favorite climbing tree was still standing, the heavy, busted limb braced with what looked like new wooden beams. I knew my dad was probably responsible for that.

"What are you smiling at?" Bella asked as she leaned across the seat and rested her head against my chest, her fingers absently toying with the hem of my shirt.

"You see that tree next to the back corner of the house?" I asked, pointing in the right direction.

"Yeah."

"When I was a kid, I spent so much time climbing or sitting in that tree. My dad and I had talked about building a fort or something higher up, but I didn't want to. Whenever I was upset or just wanted to be alone, I'd climb up to this little perch a couple of branches up and hang out."

"That's very… brooding and mature of you," she said as she looked up at me with a twinkle in her eye.

We both laughed and then I continued. "Anyway, there was a big thunderstorm one night when I was probably twelve or thirteen, and bolt of lightening hit it. It split that big limb. Before it broke in half completely, my dad and I built a wooden support to hold it up. It's been there ever since."

Bella sat up and stared at the tree, her eyes pensive and focused.

"Penny for your thoughts," I asked, running my fingers through the length of her ponytail.

"I was just thinking it's cool that you were able to save it. Can you still climb it?"

I looked back at the tree, thinking through all the times my friends and I had climbed it and how it had seemed so strong even after that storm. As I looked back at Bella, I realized that even through the toughest weather, through cracking and breaking, that the tree, with a little nurturing, was still there, better and cooler than it had been. Just like us.

"Yep. I'll take you out there later."

"I'll hold you to it," she said smiling.

~*WS*~

"So, have you guys settled on a date?" my mom asked as we sat around the dinner table eating grilled steaks and fresh veggies.

I looked over at Bella and nodded. I had told her the topic would come up. I wanted her to feel like she could say however much she wanted and involve my mom where it felt right. She smiled that tender, affectionate smile I loved – the one where her eyes softened and the corners crinkled a little – and turned to face my mom.

"We have, actually. We're thinking about doing a destination wedding in Hawaii or maybe Florida."

My mom and dad looked at each other, huge smiles on their faces, and then back at us. "That sounds like a fabulous idea," my dad said. "I could definitely use a little R&R."

I laughed. "Dad, you're practically retired."

"Well, be that as it may, a little beach time never hurt anyone."

"You're dad's a little pasty," my mom said, brushing her shoulder against dad's.

Bella laughed, and I said, "Fair enough."

We related the few details we had initially discussed and settled on, including having the wedding over Bella's fall break or even earlier if everyone could swing it. We'd mentioned potential dates to Charlie and Sue, Angie, Jake, and some of my friends back home, and with my parents' schedule being relatively flexible, we knew we wouldn't have much of a problem, even if everything was sort of last minute. We wanted the whole thing to be small and intimate, with our closest friends and family. We'd already asked Em and Rose if the girls could be a part of it, and they had happily agreed.

"We'll be there whenever it's works best for you," my mom said as she got up to clear the table.

I stood up to help her, but Bella put her hand on mine, and I sat back down. "I'll help."

I watched her gather the remaining plates and dishes and walk into the kitchen, smiling at how easily she fit, like a puzzle piece that had been missing and then found.

"She's really something," my dad commented, taking a sip of his wine and setting it down. His gaze was pointed, appraising, but not in a condemning or overly critical way. I knew my dad well enough to know he wanted the best for me. He had always been like that, encouraging me to push and grow and do what made me happy.

"She really is. I honestly have no idea how I got so lucky, Dad. She's just…"

A warm, contented smile spread across his face. "Perfect for you," he said, finishing my thought.

I nodded. "Yeah, she is."

We chatted a bit longer, waiting for the ladies to rejoin us. They never did. When I went in search of them, I found the two of them huddled on the couch, giggling over something.

I walked up behind them and groaned. "Mom," I whined. "This is so cliché."

"Oh, hush," she said, waving me away. "I'm the mom, and I've earned the right to show naked bathtub pictures of you to anyone I want, especially the woman that's going to marry you."

Bella turned her face up to mine, and I leaned down and kissed her. "You had a cute little butt," she said, squeezing my leg just above the knee.

"I still do," I said, waggling my eyebrows, and retreated to the safety of dad's den.

~*WS*~

**Saturday, 23 June **

"You ready?" I asked, looking over at Bella.

She nodded, rolling her window down to wave goodbye to my parents. "I am."

As I pulled out, I felt like everything in my life was exactly as it was supposed to be. I had a great job, we'd just spent a great couple of days with my parents, and the most amazing woman in the world had agreed to marry me and move across the country to make it all happen.

My parents were standing in the driveway. Dad had his arm around Mom's waist, and her head was on his shoulder, both waving and smiling. I was thankful I'd had such a great example of what love and teamwork could look like in a marriage.

I reached for Bella's hand and twined my fingers through hers, grateful that fate had brought us together and given us another chance. She looked over at me, happiness and contentment rolling off her.

"Love you, Handsome."

"Love you, too, pretty girl. Let's go home."

* * *

><p>Thanks so much for joining me on this journey. I can't say enough how much I have enjoyed writing this little story. This is the last main chapter. I'll post the epi tomorrow. If you haven't already, make sure I'm on author alert. I'll be posting my new story, "Denial - Not Just a River in Egypt" hopefully very soon! If you're curious, chapter one can be found in the FGB-BD Compilation. Mwah xoxo<p> 


	68. Chapter 68: Crunch  Epilogue

All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. Thanks once again to mycrookedsmile and jadsmama for lending me their eyes._  
><em>  
><strong>Word Prompt: Crunch<strong>

**Tuesday, 24 December 2013 (~1 ½ years later)**

* * *

><p>I stood in front of the picture window that looked out over the backyard and watched the snow fall. Mom and Dad, along with Charlie and Sue, were set to arrive later that evening for the beginning of our holiday festivities, and I could hardly wait for them to get here.<p>

Bella and I had spent last Christmas in Forks with her family, but after we'd gotten home, we'd decided we wanted everyone – both sides of the family – to be together this year. My parents were eager to visit with Bella's parents again. They hadn't seen each other since our wedding in Hawaii a little more than a year ago, and while things were probably going to be crazy and crowded, I knew we'd have a great time.

The sound of footsteps padding lightly across the floor and the clink clink of metal against ceramic alerted me to Bella's presence. I glanced over my shoulder and smiled at what had become a very familiar sight – Bella with a bowl of cereal.

I turned back to the window as she stopped beside me.

"We're going to have a white Christmas," she said in between bites.

"Mhmm," I hummed. It had been a long time since we'd had snow on Christmas day.

I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her a little closer to me, nuzzling my nose against her cheek. "How's your Cap'n Crunch?" I whispered.

She giggled and shook me off. "It's good. Want a bite?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

She grinned, dipped her spoon into her bowl, and raised a heaping pile to my mouth. I chomped down on it, relishing the crunch as I chewed and swallowed the milky, sweet goodness. Bella had always had a sweet tooth, but it wasn't until she'd gotten pregnant that I discovered her love for sugary cereals. We routinely switched between Cap'n Crunch, Lucky Charms, and Golden Grahams. She was a cereal monster if I'd ever seen one, and I was lucky she was willing to share.

"It won't be long before everyone gets here," she said absently.

"Nope. You still feeling up for it?"

She chuckled. "Well, it's a little late for that now, don't you think?"

I laughed. "True."

She lifted another bite up for me to eat, which I happily did. As I chewed, I watched the black spindly tree branches bob up and down in the wind, almost to the same beat as the Christmas music playing softly in the background.

"But yes, I'm ready. I'm excited everyone's going to be here with us. Do you think they'll be surprised?" she asked as she turned to set the empty bowl on the table beside the wall and wrapped both of her arms around my waist.

I still got that same thrill when she touched me, but it was different than it had been when we were apart. Since she'd moved to Princeton and we'd gotten married, things had felt less frantic and hurried. Bella had settled into her job at Rutgers with zeal and had flourished in her new environment. Things in Connecticut had heated up for a while but wrapped after six months. I had settled back in at Princeton, taken over Ben's job after he'd accepted a position somewhere else, and assumed the leadership of several other teams. With all those changes had come a sense of ease and comfort that I really loved. I no longer felt that aching sense of dread or unease whenever one of us walked out the door in the morning or had to be gone overnight. There were no more long-term absences or tears at the airport. Things were… perfect.

I rested my free hand on the top of her belly, smoothing my hand tenderly across the little bump that had just popped out of nowhere. When we'd found out Bella was pregnant almost five months ago, we were both surprised and ecstatic. We had talked about having kids right after we'd gotten married, but when things didn't happen right away, we'd decided to just let nature run its course.

It certainly had, and we were set to have a baby girl in April. We hadn't told anyone. Initially we'd planned to wait until the end of the first trimester, but as Christmas neared, we'd decided to surprise the grandparents.

"I'm pretty sure my mom is going to freak out," I said. "She's been subtly hinting about grandchildren for the last couple of months, and I'm almost positive she has no clue."

"I know. I'm pretty sure dad doesn't suspect anything, either. I'm excited to see his face when he opens his gift."

I pressed my lips against the top of her head. "They're going to love them. I have no doubt about that. I still can't believe you made those."

She pulled back. "Why? They weren't that hard."

"Maybe not, but they were time consuming. And it's not like you have copious amounts of free time."

"Well, true, but this may be the only grandbaby they get, and I want it to be special."

I smiled softly at her. "And it will be."

~*WS*~

**Wednesday, 25 December 2013**

"Everyone find a seat. Edward's going to start passing out stockings," Bella said as I crouched beside the tree.

I watched as everyone I loved settled in with mugs of coffee and small plates of Sue's homemade cinnamon rolls. We'd opened most of the gifts the night before after everyone had arrived and we'd eaten dinner. We'd saved a few small things like stockings and Bella's baby gifts to open Christmas morning. I had hoped no one would notice Bella's little tummy, and as far as I could tell, no one had.

I passed out the stockings we'd purchased just for the occasion. Everyone laughed and joked about the mini bottles of alcohol, the mounds of chocolates, and the silly little gag gifts we'd thrown in each one.

"Anyone need a refill?" Bella asked as she stood up with her favorite snowman mug in hand.

While she was gone refilling drinks, I passed out the rectangular packages Bella had painstakingly wrapped in white tissue paper and bright pink ribbons.

"What are these?" Mom asked, surprised, as I set it in her lap.

"I guess you'll have to open it to find out," I said with a smirk.

She gave me a playful glare that turned into a curious smile as she toyed with the pink bow on top. I placed the other package in Charlie's hands. He looked at me with that same appraising look he always got in his eye when he wasn't sure what we were up to.

Once Bella was seated, everyone slowly began to peel away the ribbons and the paper. I sat down beside Bella, and she snuggled against me as we watched the paper fall away and the confusion on their faces morph into looks of surprise and exclamations of glee.

"Really?" my mom asked, not even attempting to hide the tears that were already falling.

"Yep," I said, looking at Bella. She glanced at me and then looked back at her dad as he slowly ran his finger across the glass.

He hadn't said a word, but by the tears Sue was blinking away and the way Charlie's fingers wound tightly around hers, I knew he was happy. When he finally looked up, the tip of his nose was pink, and his eyes were glassy.

"A baby girl?" he asked thickly, his eyes locked with Bella's.

She scooted away from me and moved closer to her dad. She nodded as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and buried his face in her hair. I loved the special bond they shared, and I knew he would make an awesome grandpa.

After more hugs and tears and laughs, Bella explained the family "ponds" she'd made. In the center was the name we'd chosen – Evelyn Grace, Evie for short – and radiating outward, each successive colored ripple represented a different generation of our families – Bella's on the left and mine on the right.

~*WS*~

Later that night, long after everyone had gone to bed and Bella was asleep, I lay in bed looking out the window at the snow that had started to fall again and then at the "family pond" sitting on the dresser that Bella had made for us. Things hadn't always been easy, especially at the beginning when we were apart, but we'd learned to trust and count on each other in every way. She was my best friend and the love of my life. I tightened my arms around her, ever grateful she was with me and that my baby girl, the new love of my life, was alive and healthy and growing stronger and bigger inside her every day.

I had no idea how I'd gotten so blessed, how or why I'd been given a second chance, but the timing of my trip to Seattle two years ago was nothing short of a Christmas miracle. Bella had opened herself up, shown me what it was to trust and love again, and like a beacon in the night she had drawn me to her with nothing more than a simple promise to try.

And it had been enough to change everything, to form a foundation on which we could build a long, happy life together.

Over the last two years, I'd learned that love was a living, breathing thing. Just like the broken tree at my parents' house, what had once been cracked and seemingly beyond repair between the two of us had flourished with a lot of plane tickets, a daily dose of texts and phone calls, some very funny – and racy – Skype dates, and lots and lots of tender loving care.

Above all, though, it had been love and friendship that had sustained us through the rough patches and darkest days. As I breathed out a contented sigh, I pressed my body a little closer to Bella's.

She murmured something unintelligible, and I brushed my lips against her hair, smiling lazily.

Just as the joy of the day turned to fatigue, I whispered, "Love you, pretty girl," and finally fell asleep.

* * *

><p>There are pictures on the blog: http :  jessyptff . blogspot . com /2012/03/winter-song-epi . html

Thank you all so much for reading! I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed this journey! Until next time... xoxo


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